It’s like I am paranoid lookin’ over my back

It doesn’t feel right,

‘Cause my heart is racing as it tries to calm my raging thoughts

Yet I give in,

Give in

To those thoughts that greedily await to swallow me in self-pity and hollowness

That later make me choke on guilt and regret.

I guess I deserve it for being so submissive.

As the world closes in on me

I can’t seem to do the things I want to do,

But all I can get myself to do is reflect

On how my every action makes my stomach upset

Worsening the sickening feeling more and more.

And as I try to take the weight off my shoulders,

Try and reach out,

“Do something” they’d say,

“It’s all in your head, why do you think that way?

Look at me, I am doing things.”

And yet again I manage to get caught up in a web of emptiness

Draining up every ounce of strength I had mustered up

Making me regret my very own existence.

And just like that,

I return back into my small little cocoon

Wanting to be understood

But scared that like every other time,

People check their chain-saws ready to rip my all.

And I wonder if I could ever do anything,

That will help me stop!

Stop these thoughts from gobbling me up

That eventually will make me lose my own battle

And be a loser ‘cause I couldn’t handle my own self.

Lee Jinki

19 years

A/N 

Well, what do you guys think?

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