He is just a boy and I’m just a girl when we met. We never thought about it but for just a blink of an eye, we became best friends.

          Our families are close friends, my father was once his mother’s ex-boyfriend at their mid school and my mother was once his father’s ex- girlfriend. What a twist of fate, right?

            I am only four years old then and he is six when we promised, “Best friends forever. . .” but we’re different, our friendship is really different.

            For years of our friendship, we mocked around. Tease each other, fight. Quarrel. Punch, push, poke XDD . . yeah, that is what best friend means to us. But we are like brothers and sisters; he is my big brother, who teases his little sister a lot.

            But there is something I can’t let out, something I can’t figure out. .  I know it’s unfair but I LIKE HIM. I like my best friend, my big brother, my playmate, my everything, I love Kim Myungsoo.

            They say he is a cold guy but he’s not, he is the funniest and the coolest guy for me. He loves music; he can sing well, he can even play the guitar, the coolest guitarist I’ve ever seen. He doesn’t smile a lot but he is beautiful. His eyes, his nose, his lips, they are all perfect. How couldn’t I resist liking my best friend?

            We stayed as best friends and I kept my secret, until he entered college and migrated to USA to study, and then things changed. I am left without a chance to let him know what I know, to let him hear what I want to say and to let him feel what I wanted to show.

            I waited. . And waited. . And waited. He never promised to come back but I hoped. He didn’t ask me to wait for him but I waited. I WAITED.

            If only I knew then, I shouldn’t have waited. The day he came back, he’s with his girlfriend, the name’s Doyeon. He introduced her to his parents, to my parents and even to me.

            To be honest, she’s NOT pretty, they don’t fit each other. Oppa naekkeoya ~ TT^TT

            The one day, I figured out her plan, I heard Doyeon talking to somebody, she said, she’s just using Myungsoo to make her ex- American boyfriend jealous.

I don’t know what happened, the next thing I knew I was pulling her hair and she’s pulling mine too.

            Then HE came, probably a knight shining armor, to save her, to save his girlfriend, his FAKE girlfriend. Right then, he scolded me, yelled at me and pushed me away from Doyeon.

            I know we used to fight before but not this way. It’s like for the first time he got mad at me. Really mad. I tried to tell him the truth but he didn’t listen. He did not.

            I cried alone in my room. In my thoughts, I asked, why? Is that how much he loves her? Is that how much he values her that he didn’t even believe me, his best friend? Then what am I for her?

            I avoided him. I never dared to talk to him. He treated me like NOTHING. He is not my best friend anymore, not anymore.

            Days passed very fast. I feel so weak, so useless and empty. Maybe because I miss him. But NO! I’m trying to forget him, but I do miss him, I really do.

            I am walking that day, reminiscing our days, our moments, our better days, a sudden pain in my heart strike me, not just emotionally but literally. Everything is in blur, the moment I opened my eyes, I’m at the hospital. I learned it all. I’m in pain, my heart is sick. My heart is dying, I am dying.

            I stand here, watching the sun set, wondering. . Where can he be?  Like this sun setting, I’m also near of fading away. I’m becoming useless, where is he? That moment, when I really wanted to see him, to hug him and when I really need him, he appeared, from behind, I heard his cold voice and I turned to see him;

“I spent so many days searching for her, the one I wanted to say forever, someone I’ll have for my whole life. The woman I’ll love to Infinity. I’m so blind not to see and realize she is just right beside me all the time and now she’s standing in front of me.”

            He never said a word then; instead, he hugged me like he longs for it. I can feel his sincerity and all I can do is cry. Am I going to be happy? Am I going to be thankful? Should I let him know?

            Only I knew that these are the remaining days. We spent these days together, like nothing can come between us but I know there is.

            “You and I are to infinity. . .” he used to say. I will smile but a fake one, I know we’ll never have infinity. That I’ll leave him soon and Infinity to us won’t exist.

            It is a cold night, the moon is silver, he’s holding my hands, we reached my house’s entrance but he didn’t let me go, he still holds my hands, facing me, then I felt his lips on mine, it’s the first time. . But I know it is also the last.

            As he moved back an inch, I can feel his breath, “Tonight, before you close your eyes, remember that I love you and tomorrow will never end ‘cause you and I . . .”  before he could finish, for the first time, these words came out of my mouth.

            I opened my mouth to say, “You and I are to infinity.”  He smiled.

 “Goodbye” I said.

            But he smiled again and said, “It’s good night, we’ll see each other again.”