The Fighter
I don't know what to do. Everything that I've done, everything that I've worked for, everything I fought for has turned meaningless to me. The person I've fought for, left me behind.
To pass the emptiness I felt everyday, I just sat around and stared off into empty space. 
To me, life has turned meaningless.
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The doorbell rang multiple times but I didn't feel bothered enough to answer it. 
"WonShik-oppa, I know you're in there," a female voice said through the door. 
I sighed and answered the it.
She smiled at me tensely, like she really didn't want to be here. Which I don't blame her.
She entered in my apartment like it was her own, which I couldn't help but feel lost. Another woman in my apartment felt wrong.
"Hye Yun... Why are you here?" I asked, my voice laced with anger and discomfort.
"Is it wrong for a dongsaeng to visit her oppa?" She asked innocently. But I could tell, there was something else in her voice.
"You know I don't like people."
"Well too damn bad."
"Hye Yun..."
"No oppa. You need to stop. You need to stop living like this!" 
Her voice was laced with irritation, anger, and sadness. And I felt terrified, but I couldn't help but let my anger slip.
"WHO ARE YOU TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO?!"
"I AM NO ONE TO TELL YOU HOW TO LIVE. BUT-"
"EXACTLY. SO DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO."
"Oppa, I'm just telling you some advice. I-"
"Just, just leave Hye Yun," I said, clearly done with the conversation.
"No, oppa. It's not right to live your life like this! You need to stop living in the past. The past is never going to come back! She's never going to come back," she said softly, but the words rung in my ear like a roar.
"And you need to learn how to deal with it. It's been a good two years. If you keep living in this, this delusion! You'll get NO WHERE. I know you love her, I know she means a lot to you. But you NEED to move on. Living like this is unhealthy. Do you think Min Hee would have wanted this for you?"
I didn't know what to say. I knew she wouldn't want me to live like this. But, I lost my reason to fight. . . And I don't know what to do with myself anymore.
"I know she wouldn't. You had so much going for you, why did you stop fighting?" She asked so desperately and my heart felt discomforted by it.
"She was my reason to fight. She was my reason to live. She was my reason to wake up everyday. She was my happiness. She was like my air, I needed her to live. She was like my heartbeat, she was my reason to keep living. She was like a masterpiece that I could never make for fearing I would be messing with an artist. She was like an angel, and I was always afraid to sin for thinking that she would leave me behind to a place where I never could be. She was my reason for everything in life. And now that my everything is gone, it's so hard to breathe. It's so hard to be here everyday after my life has turned meaningless."
"Then give it a damn meaning, Kim WonShik," she said fiercely.
"What?" I asked confused.
"When you lose something you know you can never find again, you search for another reason. It might not be worth as it much as it did before, but it would hopefully be as much relevant as the previous reason."
"How. . . ?" I asked, a bit lost and surprised. 'Where did this come from?' I thought.
"I lost the love of my life 6 years ago, WonShik-oppa. And it was entirely my fault," she said to me with a disheartened smile.
"What?" I asked her in disbelief.
"His name was Kim JongDae," she continued, ignoring my question. Her eyes were getting all misty and she had a huge smile on her face while she was reminiscing.
"He was the weirdest, strangest, rudest person I had ever met in my life," she said with a pissed but playful tone.
"But," she said with a soft heart felt tone, "he was sweet, caring, strong, kind, determined, and so much more. He showed me in this world filled with so much lost, this world of hatred, this world of sorrow and sadness, there is life that strives. He taught me that we fight. I asked him why do we fight, what do we fight for, who do we fight for. He told me words I want to tell you now, and hopefully, you'll remember them for the rest of your life like I have and still did."
She stopped talking, took a deep breath, looked at me straight in the eye, and said, "'We all fight for something, Hye Yun. We might not all fight for the same reason, but we still fight. We fight for what is important to us, our values, and our morals. We fight to live. To love. To be loved. To be treated as equal. For the ones treated unjustly. Whatever it may be. But remember, in every fight, there's a winner and a loser. Every fight, you are going to face an obstacle. And it's your choice if you want to face it or not. But fight the good fight, and always keep in mind, just because you lost a battle, doesn't mean you lost the war. It means there's room to learn and grow. It's okay to make mistakes, because you learn that way. And sometimes, mistakes makes us realize that we aren't as perfect as we or others seem to be.'"
"Hye Yun. . . ," I gasped in major disbelief.
"I remember four years ago, I was diagnosed with heart cancer," she said with sorrow, ignoring me once again. 
"I never told JongDae I had heart cancer, because I had believed I would live and find myself a donor. But, a year and so passed by, and I never found a donor. I was getting weaker day by day. The things I loved to do most, I couldn't do anymore for my heart couldn't take the physical nor emotional toll anymore. There was one day when I was out with JongDae, and I had passed out for several hours because just walking made me so exhausted. When I had woken up, I looked around and noticed that I was in the hospital. My doctor was in the room and smiled sympathetically at me. 'Miss Jung, we found you a donor and have operated on you, which turned out successfully. You just need to rest for a couple of days and take it easy.' I was relieved, I could live another day with my precious Kim JongDae. So I had asked my doctor if I could see JongDae, she looked sorrowful at me and then I realized, Kim JongDae had donated his heart to be mine."
She looked so bitter and so regretful, my heart ached so much.
"I spent my days in that hospital not eating and avoiding anyone that tried to talk to me, make me eat, or make me take my medicine. About a day when I was supposed to be released, my doctor told me my body had gotten too weak for me to go outside since I refused to eat or take my medicine. So I stayed there for much longer. I don't really regret that, because that's when I meant you, Kim WonShik," she said while smiling fondly at me.
I reminisced the day I met Jang Hye Yun. She was walking away from the hospital building. When I saw her, she looked so free, but at the same time, so sorrowful. It discomforted me at the time and still does now. I went up to her and introduced myself. She did the same, but was hesitant at first. We started to converse while our feet took us wherever it could. We talked for hours and realized it was already late. I offered to walk her home, but she refused politely, firmly. I still insisted, saying it wasn't safe for her to be walking home alone that late. So I asked her for her destination. She quietly told me the hospital. I hadn't asked her why, but she had told me that someone close to her just went through surgery and she was there to visit her. I didn't say anything. But I did ask for her number to keep in touch, but she told me to just to give her my number since her phone wasn't working at the moment. I didn't question anything and went on my way. I realized so she was talking about at that time, was herself.
"Hye Yun. . ."
"WonShik-oppa, do you know why I told you this?"
"No. . ."
She smiled at me in a comforting way before she opened again to speak. 
"I told you this because I know your pain. To lose the love of your life, so suddenly. I know that the circumstances differ a bit, but losing someone is the same pain. There hasn't been a day that I haven't thought of my lovely JongDae, and I know I'll never stop thinking of him. You can never forget someone who left you so much to remember. But here's the thing, you don't need to forget that person, you just need to come to terms with the circumstances and embrace them as a memory. A person never really dies, they just sleep longer than most of us. Just remember, you can always share the pain with me, you don't need to keep to yourself."
I looked at her straight in the eyes and moved unconsciously closer to her. I wrapped my arms around her and started to sob. I felt her patting my back and whisper, "It's okay, WonShik-oppa. It will be okay."
I sobbed more before she let go of me and kissed my forehead. She said something in English that I couldn't understand besides my name, but that didn't matter at the moment, I just wanted to be comforted.
"I can wait for you, WonShik-oppa. I can wait for you."
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There might be a sequel to this certain one-shot. . . 😉