She scribbles another note on the lines of the manuscript. The night has grown older, and so has she. She leans back on her chair, looking over the crumpled sheet in front of her, embellished with quavers and crochets and minims and the cadences she remembers she struggled so much with as a student.

It is night. 

It is dark.

She takes her violin, draws the bow over the strings, and plays a melody she has played for eight years. The tune is mournful, the strings wail in a haunting melody, and the tears flow just as they did the first time she played it after it was finished about eight years ago.

———————

“I really wish I could play the violin,” Jessica sighs.
“Why don’t I teach you?” Taeyeon suggests.
“Nah, that’d just take away the beauty of it.”
“Why?” Taeyeon laughs.
“You’ve been playing the violin since you were, what, four? And 11 years on, you still ,” sticking her tongue out, Jessica retreats slightly.
“Hey!”
As she plops down onto the bed in Taeyeon’s bed, she sighs, “I really need like a hobby or something.”
“Hmm,” Taeyeon thinks for a while, “how about…ballet?”
“Ha! Ballet? You have to be kidding me. I’m not fit for all this ‘grace and elegance’ stuff,” Jessica scoffs.
“No, actually, you would be perfect for it. You have the right physique, and all…” she trails off.
“ 'Right physique'? What do even know about ballet, Kim Taengoo?” Jessica chuckles.
“I don’t know, I just think ballet is beautiful.”
“Why don’t you do it?”
“I occupied enough with composing and music at the moment.”
Jessica pauses to contemplate her response.
“Maybe I will.”

————————

She looks at the untidy piles of manuscript on her desk. These aren’t the only ones she has; there is another pile, this one organised by date. It consists of the pieces she wrote when they weren’t miles apart and with oceans in between; when she could still kiss Jessica and hold her and whisper love in her ears. Placing her violin back in its case, she turns of the lights and retreats to her bedroom. She can’t sleep.

It is night.

It is cold.

————————

Taeyeon is normally the one who wakes up before Jessica.
Normally.
This morning, Taeyeon wakes up to a Jessica with an absent minded smile and slightly dishevelled hair.
“Good morning my dear, the sun, see it shine? It lights up my day, because you are mine,” Jessica purred.
“Good morning to you too, princess,” laughs Taeyeon as she leans forward to kiss her. They lie there in a comfortable embrace, lips moving against each other in a slow, passionate rhythm. They break away, panting and adrenaline rushing through veins, pumped in the blood by wildly thumping hearts. Taeyeon attempts to comb out the knots of Jessica’s hair, to no avail.
Jessica giggles.
Taeyeon smiles.

————————

Taeyeon wakes up to no one by her side, but she is used to it. It has been eight years, after all. She shuffles to the kitchen, it’s cold, as it normally is in the morning. She turns on the stove, warming herself by the gas fire as she oils a pan. Soon, the sizzling noise of bacon is the only thing that can be heard in the desolate house. Today is one of those days, one of those days where she dreams of Jessica the night before and wakes up making breakfast for two.

But Jessica isn’t there.

It’s not breakfast for two.

Breakfast for one.

As it has been for the past eight years.

————————

“Gosh Jessica, do you even know what you’re doing?” Taeyeon furrows her brow as she peers over Jessica’s shoulder.
“For the last time, Taeyeon, yes. I’ve made bacon a million times. I can’t mess this up.” Jessica sighs in exasperation.
“Okay, I’m sorry.”
“I know I’m bad at cooking, but this is one thing I definitely won’t mess up.”
Taeyeon wraps her arms around Jessica’s waist, which she swears is getting thinner as the years go by.

They sit down together at the table, opposite each other. Jessica’s foot brushes against her own, and she immediately pulls back.
“What’s wrong Jessica?”

“It’s…nothing, never mind. I just…my feet..” Jessica sighs.
“It’s okay, baby, your feet don’t really matter to me. Well, they do, seeing as you wouldn’t be able to walk without them, but…well you get why I mean.”
Jessica smiles.

————————

Today is the day.

The day the eight years worth of comforting, yet painful dreams, come true.

She is going home.

Home to where she left her heart.

————————

The last thing she sees before she is swallowed by a crowd of rushing passengers is Jessica waving at her. Tears cloud her vision but her image of Jessica remains clear in the blurred hustle of the swarming crowd.
“What if I forget you?” she asked, fear laced in every word she spoke.
“If that is so, I cannot change that, but I will remember for the both of us.”

Her memory of Jessica is that of a painful smile.

Jessica’s memory of her is that of a tearful face and distraught heart.

————————

She knocks on the door. Home is just where it was eight years ago.

Jessica opens the door with a welcoming smile, as if Taeyeon never really left for such an extended period of time, and was simply returning from a day at work.

Her face is sallow and hollowed, her cheek bones are prominent in her tired smile. Her entire frame looks fragile and as if she would fracture with a single touch.
“Oh Taeyeon, you’re home, and I am no longer alone,’ Jessica beams, looking beautiful in Taeyeon’s eyes despite the wasting away of her body. 

Taeyeon bursts into tears, feeling the guilt of placing Jessica through so much pain and heartbreak, at making her wait for those years. Jessica steps out of her doorway to pull Taeyeon into a calming and soothing hug. She can do nothing but sob in the arm that she has missed for so long, only realising how much she has missed them when she is finally embraced.

She gently cups Jessica’s face and kisses her with the emotions and words she wasn’t able to say.
“I missed you, so much,” whispers Jessica as she smiles with her eyes closed.
“I’m sorry..so sorry,” Taeyeon sobs.
Jessica presses Taeyeon’s head against her chest, her hair tenderly and hugging her tightly, “no, it’s okay. You’re back. And you didn’t forget me. I almost thought you did.”
“I didn’t forget…I’m sorry,” she sobs harder.
“I didn’t forget either. It’s okay. I love you anyway,” Jessica plants a soothing kiss on the crown of her head.
“I love you, I love you, I love you Jessica Jung, please don’t forget,” she whispers desperately.

“I won’t, I never will. I love you too, Kim Taeyeon. I love you with all my heart and with all of my life.”