That Thursday

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It was cold and already late that night when the blonde boy took a chance to walk around his surrounding neighborhood. With the coat on and scarf around his neck was already enough to make him stayed warm despite the coldness of the night air. He looked around as if he were looking for something. He wasn’t though. Just some habit he had when he was walking. After walking for about half an hour, he decided to give it a break by stopping in front of a coffee shop and went inside.

He ordered an Americano and waffle. He stayed silent while enjoying his coffee and waffle when he heard his phone rang.

“Man, where the hell are you at this ing time?”

He snorted hearing the cursing word from the other line, “Hello for you too, mate.”

“Tsk, just tell me where the hell you are, I’ll pick you up.”

“Nah, no need to. I’ll come back in one piece by myself. Just wait for me at home.”

“Just, tell me, dude. I’m dead serious.”

“So am I. Don’t worry! I’ll be back. Bye.”

The blonde boy hanged up the phone. He was slightly annoyed by his friend. He was nineteen for God’s sake. No need to be overdramatic over the limit time. He was a boy, he was a free man. He could take a ing good care of himself. He took a sip of his not-so-hot-anymore coffee. After that, he paid for the bill and left the shop.

He was surely enjoying this moment. Walking around the town without being disturbed by anyone was surely one of those moments he knew he would rarely get. Don’t ask about the cellphone okay. He turned it off, and yeah, he was that smart. He wouldn’t even care if his friend at home—or in his case, at their shared-apartment—got mad at him for being so ignorant. Yeah, he was that cool. He could always chill him out later, anyway.

He knew he shouldn’t spend his time to do such useless thing like this, but he couldn’t help. Sometimes, a man like him needed to ease his mind from the sorrowness and sadness he knew deep down his heart he always felt. Especially after...ah, should he tell?

His feet apparently brought him to go to the park where he played back when he was a child. He chuckled slightly when he imagined his seven years old version built a palace with his girl friends at the sand pool near the bench he was sitting at. How could he do that back then? What a sissy  thing he did. But yeah, things changed. He was no longer a sissy boy his friend always called him. Come to think of it, when did he change? Ah, maybe at that time.

What time? You wonder, huh?

No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t forget about what happened back then..yet. But, he was sure he could. Yeah, you can say he was pretty much a man living in the past. Seriously though, who was he to deny the truth? He was a honest man.

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The blonde boy stared at the dark sky. Time showed that that was already Thursday. Well, he thought it was enough for him to make his friend worry about him so he should go back. Whatever he was planning, was absolutely a big failure for it wasn’t making him in peace, it made him remember that he was a man that can’t be moved instead.

After walking for about forty minutes, he arrived at his shared-apartment. The light went off already. His friend was asleep then.

“Morning, Hyukjae.” The voice surprised Hyukjae to death.

“Damn, hyung. I thought I was gonna have a heart attack.”

The hyung didn’t answer. Instead, he kept on looking at Hyukjae.

“Where the hell have you been?”

“I was just walking around the town.”

“Until three in the morning. Are you out of your mind, Hyuk? What if something bad happen to you?”

“Don’t be over, Sungmin hyung. I can take care of myself.”

“Ah, jjinjja? You wouldn’t say so three years ago, right?”

“Hyung? Why are you bringing back that matter?”

“Because you’re always ing like this when you remember that accident. You’re messed up, Hyuk. You wouldn’t even care about your healthy being at this very moment. You always go back to the gloomy Hyukjae from three years ago. You wouldn’t care how frightened I was when I didn’t find you at our apartment at this very time. You turned off your phone, you wouldn’t care even when you know how much I worried about you. YOU JUST ING DON’T CARE AT ALL ABOUT ME!”

To say Hyukjae was speechless was an understatement. He was frozen. He couldn’t move his body even an inch. Upon hearing what Sungmin said. It brought back those memories he wished he didn’t have. Even when he wanted to say something. He couldn’t register the order to his lips. It was as if his lips being locked, unable to speak.

“I-i am sorry, Hyuk. I just..I just...damn.” Sungmin clenched and unclenched his fists, surpressing the emotions he felt.

After a moment, finally Hyukjae said, “It’s okay, hyung. It’s not your fault.”

Sungmin pulled Hyukjae into a very tight hug. Hyukjae hugged him back eagerly. He needed it now. He needed all the support from the only person he believe now.

“I can’t stand seeing you like this, Hyuk. You’re my precious brother.”

Hyukjae didn’t even care if he was making Sungmin shirt wet because of his tears. At this ing time, he just needed his Sungmin hyung and his support toward him. Sungmin may not be his brother by blood, but his love to Hyukjae can’t be compared to anyone else. It seemed that among all people, only his love toward Hyukjae was the purest one. Hyukjae felt so thankful for having Sungmin when he needed him the most.

“Hyung, eottokhae?”

“Sssh, just forget all of the things happened, Hyuk. The past is in the past.”Sungmin said while carressing Hyukjae’s back. He cried too.

“But, how should I forget it, Hyung? I will always remember it no matter what when this day like this coming around. It followed me wherever I go, hyung. It scares me.”

“I know. I know how much it hurts, Hyuk. But you should find a way.”

“Hyung, tell me how? I’m scared, I really am.”

“I’m sorry, Hyukjae. I don’t know. It’s for you to know and to find out.” And after that, none of them says anything. They just kept their position like that. They were pretty much comfortable like that.

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Don’t you want to get a clue about what his past is? Here we go, his past is starting from twelve years ago.  Yap, now imagine a seven years old black haired boy with sparkling single lidded eyes built a palace with his friends at the sand pool—pretty much the same with his previous imagination, okay—and, imagine him as a very cheerful and talkative child cutely asking about how he was doing with the fake building to his girl friends. You got that? Okay, next, hear the story carefully....

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“Saa, I’m finished my palace. What do you think about it, Nana?” said a chubby boy cutely while tilting his head.

“Ah, I like it, Hyukhyuk. Yours is better than mine.” A little girl called Nana replied with a pout. The chubby boy just smile upon hearing the compliment.

“Eh? Hyukhyuk has finished his palace?”

“Ne, how is it, Sica?”

“Wow, it’s huge. I like it, Hyukhyuk.”

Now, the chubby boy couldn’t help but laughing a little, “Hihihi, sankyu.”

“Hyukhyuk-ah..”

“Ne?”

“Who will be the king of your palace?”

“Huh? I will.”

“No, you should be the queen, not the king.”

“Ah, wae? I’m a boy. I should be the king.”

“But you’re pretty. You should be the queen.”

“No, don’t want to.”

“Ne, Hyukhyuk-ah.”

“Hmm?”

“Ask that boy who is sitting there alone.”

“About what?”

“Ask him if you’re pretty or handsome.”

“No way, it’s embarrassing.”

“But you should decide whether you’ll be the king or the queen.”

“I’ll be the prince, then. The king and the queen will be my parents.”

“Nah, then you should be the princess,  Hyukhyuk.”

“Why princess?”

“Because you’re—“

“No, I’m not pretty. A boy should be handsome, not pretty.”

“But you are.”

“How could you be so sure?”

“Ask him if you don’t believe us.” Little girl Sica tried to convince the chubby boy.

“But he’s stranger. Umma said not to talk to a stranger.”

“Then, you should ask his name first. Come on.” Nana pushed Hyukhyuk to go to the boy. Hyukhyuk, being the innocent boy he was, finally approached the boy.

“Ehm, hello.”

The boy who was sitting and reading comic just took a glance at him but then focused his sight to the book again. Hyukhyuk pretty much aware that he was ignored by the boy, he glanced at his friends behind him and they just muttering ‘fighting, Hyukhyuk’, so he wouldn’t give up. He took a deep breath and said again..

“My name is Lee Hyukjae. Nice to meet you. What’s your name?”

Silent. Hyukjae—Hyukhyuk’s real name—pouted a little.

“Yah, I’m asking you.”

“Tch, what? Why are you disturbing me?” finally the boy lifted his head to see Hyukjae’s face clearly, unlike before, now, he could see Hyukjae clearer,and he was quiet.

“I-I’m not. I just wanna introduce myself to you. You should introduce yourself too.”

“Why should I?”

“Because Umma said it would be impolite if you ignore people that want to be your friend.”

“Cih, Donghae.”

“Eh?”

“I said Donghae.”

“East sea (Donghae)? You want to go there?”

“There where?”

“East sea.(Donghae)”

The boy sighed heavily upon hearing what the innocent-yet-annoying person said.

“I mean my name is Donghae. Lee Donghae.”

“Ah, nice to meet you, Donghae.” Little Hyukjae said with a wide smile.

“Hn.”

“Donghae.”

“Wha