He has done something wrong. Something awfully wrong and he knows there’s nothing that could turn back time to when he should be at the office clutching his bag pack to his chest. It’s such a foolish thing for him to leave his bag in the teacher’s office where his medication is safely kept inside it, untouched at the moment. He can feel himself getting dizzy with the lack intake of air, his windpipe constricting the air from entering his lungs, small droplets of perspiration making it’s way down his cheek. This is really, really bad. He has absolutely no idea that the panic attack would occur at this time which is very unlikely. His vision is getting blurry which makes him rethink that he’s going to die on the first day of substituting a teacher. The very first day. Ouh god, how embarrassing would that be? All he wants is to take a tour of the school for just a few minutes instead of dying at the corridor of the school on the third floor where only a library and a few unused class are at. He is pretty sure that the people in the library can’t hear him especially since he’s a t the stairs when in fact the library is at the end of the corridor.

Leaning against the wall and slowly sliding down, Sehun digs his fingers painfully into his chest that’s currently moving up and down rapidly. This is it he thinks. He’s going to die and that’s because he forgot to bring along his medicine along with him. A foolish man is what the would call him. Hanging his head weakly on the left, Sehun’s eyes wanders around for a few moment when suddenly he catches a figure at the end of the stairs. A student, a male student with books in his hand and looking at Sehun with surprise. He’s probably thinking that Sehun is some crazy guy that looks like he has just taken drugs. He doesn’t think he could even whisper out for help. The boy, realizing just how awfully pale and sick Sehun looks like, hurriedly climbs the stairs and drops his books on the floor before holding Sehun’s shoulders giving him a few shakes. “Hey! Are you okay?!” He shouts. He feels something warm under his nose before a palm rests on his forehead, slightly flinches when he hears the boy curse out a “,” He makes a mental note to himself to reprimand the boy due to his foul language, that is, if he lives. “hang on.”

The first time the panic attack occurs was during school. He was fourteen and at that time, he vaguely remembers what actually caused him to be like this but from the bruises he has had all over his body and the worry looks that his parents have when he woke up the next morning in a hospital, he assumes that he was , almost. After all, there was policemen outside. What he remembers are just small pieces of memory of him getting dragged into a dark empty lane before he was roughly manhandled and molested. He remembers having his head hitting the wall painfully.. His parents have tried to take his mind elsewhere but Sehun couldn’t move on and because of that he would always has panic attacks every single night, calling out for his parents with a chocked voice before the would barge into  his room. At the end, he is sent to the hospital for a check up and has to at least meet his private psychiatrist two times a week just in case. He blames his body. If it isn’t for it, he wouldn’t have developed a panic attack and would have been able to protect himself from those bastards.

He wakes up with a sharp breath intake, his fingers clutching the soft material underneath him before he abruptly sit up from his sleeping position, wincing at the pain that shoots up to his head. “Ouh, you’re awake.” At the sound of that, Sehun jumps in surprise, whipping his head to the right to see the same student as before, looking at him with relief yet at the same time a flash of curiosity in his eyes. “The nurse has to leave because some guy passed out onthe field and he was kinda chubby so his classmates couldn’t carry him.” The student says as he points at the empty space on the chair situated a few feet from the bed that Sehun is on. Okay. He’s at a infirmary, still breathing and obviously alive since that boy has just talked to him. Not invisible. Nope. Heaving a sigh of relief, Sehun straighten himself up before he looks around the room with a blank expression, trying to avoid the curious glances that the boy keeps giving.

“You don’t have to be that obvious.” Sehun croaks out the words, grimacing at his strained voice. Urgh, he really needs to drink. The boy who senses it immediately gets up from the stool and heads for the table beside the nurse’s desk where he pours some water from the jug before giving it to Sehun who accepts it with gratefulness. “Thanks.” He says. The silence they have between them is unbearable and only by then does he realizes that there’s a possibility that he might have just missed his class. “What time is it?” He asks worriedly making the boy frown. Sehun urges the boy to give him an answer and his feet almost touches the floor when suddenly a hand stops him by the chest.

“It’s ten and you’re not supposed to leave. That’s what the nurse said.”

“WHAT.” Sehun deadpan. “I… Could you at least give me a chance to grab my things from the office? I have class after this.” Probably out of surprise, the boy pulls his hand away abruptly before adding the distance between them and gives Sehun a surprised look.

“Wait, you’re a teacher? I thought you were a transfer student or something. God, I’m sorry for acting rude, I didn’t know.” The boy chokes out his words and at the sane time, staring at his shoes with a horrified look. Well, this is something Sehun has never been in before so to say that he doesn’t enjoy it is an understatement because he does. He just doesn’t show it. Ah, how wonderful it is to be older. He awkwardly shakes his head, trying to assure that boy that it’s fine before he asks the same question, mumbling the last part so soft that the other couldn’t catch it and at the end looks at Sehun with a frown before it disappears as soon as the door of the infirmary slides open, revealing a female nurse who has an annoyed expression etched on her face. “He’s awake.” The boy informs the nurse whose mouth forms an ‘o’, putting on her stethoscope before she puts the cold metal chestpiece on his chest and listens to his hearbeat.

Sehun watches how she puts her middle finger and forefinger over his wrist, checking the vital points including flashing a blinding light at his eyes. Goodness, that hurts as hell. She could have told him. He hears some shuffling from behind the nurse but is too preoccupied with the way the nurse is checking him and when she claims that he’s alright and is good to go, the boy is no longer there. He forgot to thank him. “Since when do you start having them?” Frowning, he looks at the nurse, a knowing look plastered on her face with her arms crossed in front of her, looking at Sehun expectantly while the only thing Sehun could do is inwardly whimper. She has some scary looking eyes. “Don’t take me as a fool. I’m a certified doctor,” She states. Don’t ask why I’m here.” She adds while Sehun closes his mouth back with a sheepy smile. Yeah. She’s scary. “Breathing difficulties, trembling hands, sweating and…dizziness, I presume?”

Swallowing his saliva thickly, he shifts on the bed followed by a hesitant hum, confirming the nurse, doctor or whatever she is, assumption. “Thought so. What were you doing walking around without your needs? You do have them right?” He nods. “I’m sorry but that’s just a stupid thing you did.” She states ad turns around, grabbing some papers from the drawer before giving it to Sehun asking him to sign them. “Write everything down. I’ll need them in case the same thing happens again and I don’t want to be blamed for your death or something.” She says tiredly. He does everything, filling in the boxes but stops midway when he reads what it needs. Other illness aside from the one that she has known. If he writes it down, will she tells the school? Will the principal know and decides to replace him with some who is more.. normal? Hesitation takes over and just as he is about to skip that question, the nurse taps the empty space surprising him. “I said everything. I am not a fool Mr.. Mr. Oh.” She says after reading his name.

After he returns the papers to her and sign his leave from the infirmary, Sehun quickly walks towards the teacher’s office. The same boy is standing outside with what seems to be Sehun’s bag in his hand. The boy looks up from his book before walking towards Sehun who releases a shaky breath, taking his bag from the other’s grasp with confusion. What the hell is wrong with the people in this school and their eyes? “You’re a substitute teacher.” The latter states.

“Yeah.” Sehun answers. He takes out his phone from the bag and checks the time. “Do you know where class 2A-1 is?”

“It’s my class. So, you’re substituting Mrs. Jung as our Art and Biology teacher?” He asks with curiosity. Mumbling a yeah, Sehun steps aside as he urges the boy to show the way to the class earning a chuckle. Wow, he’s laughed by a student. Little prick. “Do you know that Art class is an extra class? It’s something like an extra point class that each students needs to take. There’s about five of them.” He explains even though Sehun isn’t bothered to know. But, at least the boy isn’t laughing at what has happened earlier. All he needs is for the boy to shut his mouth and never speak of it again. It would be a dread if a student found out about his illnesses. Clutching his bag strap tightly, Sehun follows the boy from the back, listening to the latter’s explanation about the rules of the school. One thing for sure is he doesn’t need to read about the rules anymore after this. Brilliant! 

Sorry for taking a long time to update! I've been busy studying since I'm in my senior year of high school. Lots of homework needs to be done and I had to write 10 english essays in two weeks! I'm sorry if there's any mistake. I really need a beta. Is there anyone that's qualified in being one? Thank you for subscribing and please do leave a comment! ^3^