*credits to the owner of the picture

CHUK

One sound and another stab were made in his heart, making a cut as deep as the former ones that wouldn’t heal at all. The arrow cut through his heart as if it was she was aiming for, not the bull’s-eye on the target.

“Daddy! Did I did it right?”

He didn’t respond, as he usually does before. Instead, he smiled, a crooked and uneven one and unfortunately, she responded brighter than he wanted to. It was a trait of hers, he couldn’t erase, and it almost broke his heart.

It was summer. Families would occasionally go to the beach, in their summer cheongsams and collect sand and shells and sweat under the heat of the sun as they stroll by the sea. And most especially, children would run and play on the sandy beaches with their beach balls, unlike his who’s holding bow and arrows. His heart won’t mend, and it’s continuously hurt by the sight of his own daughter. He stole from her the life a normal kid would have. For ten years, instead of playing with toys, his daughter played with bows and arrows. For ten years, aside from learning how to dance, his daughter trained to be agile. It was his fault that she was bullied, and didn't have any friends in school. Other girls hate her strong personality, her manly side and yet, she still acted as if everything is normal. His daughter was never been normal in the eyes of other people, even she was a noble, and his family regards him as the one at fault. His wife didn't talk to him for years, and his mother regarded him coolly. He had taken the life she should have, but he had to. If not, no one's going to protect her when he's gone. His son, perhaps can, but he's too young. His daughter would've faced everything by the time his son learns martial arts.

And now, his heart was once again shattered when he got the news from the emperor through the messenger. North Korea has declared another war after 10 years of silence, and for the first time in his life, he’ll leave his children behind.

“Sandara,” He called her softly, and she quickly turned to him, her face now dirty from too much practice. His daughter gave him a soft smile, and it broke his heart.

“Abeoji,” She said in her quirky voice and ran up to him. When she reached his place, Sandara placed her small hands on his lap and grinned up at him. “I hit more than one apple in target practice today.”

He smiled back at her, even though he was hurting inside and smoothed her hair down. His pregnant wife and mother disagreed with him training their daughter in using a bow and arrow, because a girl, according to their tradition, isn’t allowed to fight. They are expected to be quiet and demure, graceful, polite, delicate, refined, poised, and punctual. But his daughter, due to him, didn’t qualify for these things.

“Abeoji,” His daughter woke him up in his train of thoughts. She was pouting at him. “You are not listening.”

He kissed her forehead and replied, “Wash up your face. Father’s going to Seoul today.”

Sandara grinned at him, oblivious of what’s happening. “Okay!”

He watched her run to their house, her giggles filling the whole place with happiness.

But to him, it kills.
 

"Quiet and demure,"

The sound of a bamboo clicking against the stone rang around the house; a sound of paint running through a skin was faintly heard, yet brought curiousness to a cat.

"Graceful, polite"

With a mouth full it was said, and was followed yet again by the flow of a brush, running smoothly and delicately around a pinkish white skin. 

"Delicate, refined, poised..."

The words hang in the air delicately, and a brow was raised in utmost frustration. Then, with rice grains flying in the air, a loud, "Punctual!" was said.

"Sandara!"

She suddenly jumped from her bed, due to surprise and fell on the ground head first. After a faint cry of pain, she responded, equally loud, "I'm coming!"

Sandara bolted upright from the floor and ran outside of her room to the wooden hallway. She dashed right through the corridor, acting oblivious of the noise she's making even if she's aware that her younger brother is still asleep, and stopped, as soon as she reached the front door.

"Coming, Eomma!" She shouts once again, as she wears her slippers up by the front door. Her summer cheongsam was too heavy for her to run freely, but since she was raised by her father by running around the house with a bag full of stones stuffed inside, it was fine. Once ready, she lifted her skirt up one inch from the ground and ran again, towards the pond where her mother was probably waiting for her. She knows very well that her mother likes fish more than anyone else. 

"Sandara, slow down." Her mother cried as soon as she saw her running. Sandara slightly slowed her pace, and showed her mother a set of teeth.

"Morning, Eomma!" She greeted, grinning and bowed. 

"Aigoo, Sandara. How many times did I tell you not to run in the hallway? You're a woman." Her mother reminds her with grace she couldn't muster and before Sandara could even explain, her mother cuts her off by a sweet greeting, "Good morning too, my dear daughter. How was your sleep?"

Sandara couldn't help but smile wider. That's why she loves her mother more than anyone else in the world. Her grace had come to calm her every morning; the beauty her mother radiates soothes her nerves. She wondered why she didn't have those features. 

"I'm fine, Eomma." Sandara replied, meekly. "I am just nervous for today."

Her mother gave her a soft smile, just a slight force was given to lift up the edges of her lips but it was beautiful. Ageless beauty radiated from her mother's face, and she didn't look any less than forty. "You must get ready, my dear." Her mother said. "The Lees wait for no one."

Sandara made a face inwardly, and groaned before replying, "Do I have to?"

Her mother chuckled, covering with her sleeve and replied, "It's a tradition. If you don't go, our ancestors will complain about the ruined family tree. Besides, they already have written the marriage years ago, before you were born. The second female in the Park family must marry the man of her age in the Lee family. It’s a settlement for both parties, for them to stop the fight that may cause a big misunderstanding to the future generations. Since the Park family rarely gives birth to females, given that the first female in our family was ancestor Seokyung, they settled an agreement that the second female in the family will marry a Lee. It is fate that you are the second female, yet sometimes I think…” Her mother’s voice trailed off, and for a moment, she showed an emotion alien to Sandara, which made her nervous. But nevertheless, she immediately smiled, which made the frown unnoticeable to her daughter. A mother must always smile despite of problems, and regrets. She continued, “Your ancestors expect you to marry one of the Lees, because trying to talk to the other party was hard enough and had caused a bloodbath before the settlement was agreed to by both families.”

Sandara thought of her ancestors, the tombs back at the temple at the farthest part of their house and the great pain they got just from trying to talk with the opposite side. Most of them would’ve died with the bloodbath, just trying to settle everything for the future generations ahead of them. Sandara shuddered. "I'll go for them." She immediately replied, fearful. 

It’s for her father too, who died fifteen years ago and once told her that he wants peace more than anything. When she was ten, just right after her training, he told her he’d be going to Seoul. Normally, Seoul sounds like ballad in her ears. The town would mean her father will collect the revenue from our business, and he will come back with fresh meat for them to eat. But that day, when he told her he’ll go to Seoul, she never imagined he will never come back in one piece. It turns out; being a businessman is just a side income. He was actually a Daeryong, a field officer. He’s an army. And that day, on the battle between South Korea and North Korea, he died. She can completely remember what the Brigadier General told them when her father’s body was brought home; his coffin wrapped with their flag, Fifty shots allover his body because he was trying to protect the General’s son. With his final breath, he asked if we won, and just to… just to make him smile one last time I told we did. Then, he requested me to take care of his family and he died.

Sandara frowned with the thought of Brigadier General. He’s hitting her mom for almost fifteen years, because apparently he went far the ‘taking care of your family’ oath and fell in love with her mom. It was a good thing that her mom didn’t want a divorce, and disagrees every time the Brigadier General would ask her about marriage. If not, Sandara would have killed him a long time ago even if a woman is not allowed to. He’s just lucky he’s born a man or she would’ve beaten him up for hitting on her mom.

“Sandara,” Her mom woke her up in her trance. “You must get ready. It’s a long ride to their house, and they are impatient.”

The corner of Sandara’s lips twitched upward and she replied, “Thanks, Eomma.”

“Mother,”

The old woman turned from the tombs in front of her to the young woman behind. “Sanghee,” She acknowledged, the edges of her lips twitching upward.

Sanghee grabbed two incense sticks from the box on the metal plate placed on the floor, and lighted it up. As the sticks burn, she waved it around the small room to let the smoke go around the tombs, and her prayers to their ancestors escaped her lips with fervor.

Grandmother sighed and said, “I could see the wrinkles on your forehead, Sanghee.”

Sanghee smiled softly, placing the sticks on the golden plate hanging by the ceiling and answered, “Sandara’s meeting the Lee family today, mother.”

“I am very aware of it.” Grandmother answered with a soft chuckle. “I have prayed for it to the ancestors.”

Sanghee laughed, and agreed, “I think we have the same prayer.”

“Sandara acts too much like her father.” Tears were building up in Grandmother’s eyes, and she held it in. “She could…” Her voice trailed off, and her tears started to stroll down her wrinkled cheeks. Her son’s tomb in front of her didn’t help at all and to worsen, Woojin Park’s name was written in large Hangul letters.

Sanghee hugged Grandmother, the feeling now mutual and croaked, “He’s fine now mother. He’s resting in peace. He’s safe. No more opponents to face.”

But they know everything was just wishful thinking.

Sandara bit her lip, and croaked, “Dana-nim,” But she caught her words quickly before it goes out when her fiancé’s mother glared at her. She clenched her fists harder, her nails digging into her palms and she felt hot liquid dripping to her fingers.

On the other hand, her fiancé, Donghae, had a soft smile on his face and was looking much more heartening than his mother. “Sandara-ssi,” He formally said, trying to uplift the depressed mood brought by his own parent. “Do you prefer Jasmine, Earl Grey, Oolong, or English Breakfast tea? It’s Twinning’s.”

Sandara smiled back and with a stutter, she answered, “J-Jasmine.”

His smile remained on his handsome face as the servant bent down to hear his whispered command, and with a slight bent of the head, the servant disappeared through the twin bamboo doors.

Grandmother coughed, clearing and said, “As I had said, it has been written in the scrolls that they must be married.”

“Which is very unfortunate,” Mrs. Lee said, her voice clipped and reserved, giving nothing away but coldness. “I can’t believe my son is marrying a woman like her.”

Sandara bit her lip, trying not to cry in front of her in-laws and convinced herself that the old woman was lying.

Donghae, to her relief, gave her a reassuring smile and answered, “Yes, she’s very exceptional that I, myself, am not worthy of her.”

It was too bad that women are not allowed to speak to a man or to an elder unless she is asked, or she would’ve thanked Donghae for being such a sweetheart.

Mrs. Lee was astonished about what her son had said, but she remained calm and reserved however. When she spoke, her voice was full of assurance. “I am not in favor of the marriage.”

Grandmother whispered harshly beside Sandara, “Now the truth comes out from that hag!”

“And do not fear, for I will ask a sign from our ancestors. Since, I believe, that she’ll be under the guidance of them once she marries Donghae.” She continued, and ended her sentence with a harsh ‘tsk’.

Sandara held her tears down. Her heart tells her that she’s already perfect, yet why does Mrs. Lee despises her that much? Was she too loud? Too proud? Or maybe because her eyebrows are too broad. Needless to say, whenever she walks, people hate her. She’s a hate magnet.

Sandara stood up hastily and groggily. Her vision was too cloudy for her to see the people inside the room clearly but she didn’t mind. She was determined to get out of the room and to hell with her in-laws.

She hastily turned, but collided instead with a hot surface. Sandara shrieked, and waited for the hot water to burn her chest but no impact came. Instead, a high-pitched shriek enveloped the hell room. It was Mrs. Lee who received the boiling hot water, burning her face with a hundred Celsius temperature. Everyone froze, and the chambermaid could only reply with a feeble, “I’m sorry, madame.”

“You are a disgrace to your family!” Mrs. Lee shouted, standing abruptly from her spot and accusing a harsh finger at Sandara. “You brat! You’re not worthy to bear the name of a Lee!”

Just before her meaty hand lay on Sandara’s cheek, Donghae gripped on his mother’s wrist. The latter resisted, trying to free her hand, but Donghae’s grip was iron.

“Thank you.” Sandara said, the lump in muffling her words. “For not accommodating us.”

“Sorry,” That was all Sandara could say in front of her ancestors. She wiped her cheeks using her cheongsam’s sleeves. “You must be ashamed of having me as your granddaughter.”

She felt awkward talking to her ancestors, especially that she’s literally talking to tombs, whether or not her ancestors listening. It would be better if they listened, she told herself, as soon as they don’t reply to her right on that spot in their ghoul-like selves. Even so, they had provided good health and wealth to them, and even guided them to every problem they find hard to face since she can remember. The latest tomb, her father’s, was located at the front. Ever since his addition to the temple, her family was even more blessed than before, yet every time they see his tomb, it would grieve them too much, they end up crying after praying, and it was inevitable, since it was located at the front. It was made from gray-colored marble, with his name inscribed on it with golden ink and his rank in the military inscribed below it. She hated seeing it, even today. His death grieved her so much she can’t even look at his tomb, but she felt the need to apologize to her ancestors for the failed wedding pact and peace arrangement of the Lees and Parks.

“Please,” She begged, bowing down with her face leveled with the floor. “Forgive me. I’m deeply sorry.” Then, she closed her eyes. “Guide me once again.”

The sound of a lightning startled Sandara so much she jumped from her spot. She stood up suddenly, rubbing her cheongsam and looked around. The sun shined through the hills, valleys and mountaintops beside her house, lighting them in perfect glamour albeit she swore she heard lightning a while ago. Struck writes her face with complete horror, and she felt a sudden chill riding down her spine.

She glanced at the tombs once more, bowed her head before excusing herself out.

As Sandara walk out of the temple, there was a sudden start of laughs and giggles all around the temple. The statue, a man about six foot plus tall, holding a plate in his hands, which serves also as an incense plate, started to glow. Than, the gray color vanished from his skin until he was colored, as if the rgb color model rained on him. He carefully dropped the plate he was holding on the floor, and then stretched his body as if being a statue strained him.

“Ah~” He groaned while stretching. “It’s good to be back.”

He brought up his hands up to his chest. Fire erupted between his hands, then after the blaze fades down, a gong appeared in his hands. He pounded it up while walking around the temple and shouting, “Okay wake up! Time for a meeting! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up dead people!”

Each tomb produced blue smoke that moves upward, and each smoke started to form a circle at first then it forms into souls. All except one was grumpy for waking up.

The only one not frowning, grinned widely at the statue-turned real and said, “I’m glad my daughter didn’t get the chance to marry one of the Lees! I’ve been getting all types of chills from their family ever since I go to their house to have a friendly family dinner.”

“Yah, Woojin!” One old woman said who only had one eye on her face because she was holding the other one in her hand. She planted her eyeball in the empty socket, grunting as she does and when she was done, it protruded weirdly on her face. She continued, “You don’t know how many hardships this family had to take just to have that wedding pact! I even lose an eye before I die!”

“They even cut my head!” One with a dirty cheongsam said, as if he died while rolling in mud. It was true, he has no head, and he held it gently in both of his hands.

“Fine.” Woojin said, getting the idea. He crossed his arms in complete frustration from his family. “But what has been done cannot be undone.”

“Well, it is your fault having that daughter!” The protruding eye woman said. “She has been difficult ever since you raised her like a man!”

“What a bunch of annoying ghouls.” The statue said, rolling his eyes. “I hate my job.”

“Come on!” No head said. “Wushu woke us up with a reason! Let’s just talk about Sandara’s future!”

“What’s to be talked about?! Shut your mouth up Jimin or I’ll use your head as a soccer ball!” Protruding eye said.

“Well,” The eldest of them all said, stretching his arms. “I could use some exercise after waking up!”

“We’re not talking about the problem at hand, won’t we?” Wushu asked.

“Well, we’re not.” Woojin agreed, smiling down at him.

“Ooh! Ooh! I’ll be the goalie!” The little ghoul said.

“Hey, wait-“ Sandara’s grandfather tried to stop them.

“Ahh!” Jimin’s cry rang around the temple while his head was being kicked around the room with his family. Woojin kept calm, not interfering and was gazing ahead at his house.

Wushu sighed.

Sandara was making tea when the large gong located at the highest tower in their town rang for three consecutive times. She heard footsteps from their household rushing towards their threshold. First was her mother who looked pale, next was her brother who was as curious as her and then her grandmother who looked calm as if this has happened many times before. When Sandara didn’t move from her spot, her grandmother silently said, “The emperor’s messenger is here!”

Sandara placed back the tea pot on the table and ran after her family, lifting her cheongsam an inch higher to help her run freely. When she reached their stone entrance where her family was standing, she noticed that everyone had gathered outside and was looking at three stallions standing still on the roadway. Two were ridden by soldiers while they hold the flag of South Korea while one was ridden by a comic-looking man. He wore a high hat, and weirdly decorated cheongsam. His beard styled like the antennas of shrimps and his eyebrows, too thin to be considered as hair.

“Citizens! I bring a proclamation from the Imperial City! North Korea has invaded us once again!” The messenger announced; the people responded with a collective gasp. He then continued without even batting his eyelashes, “By order of the emperor, one man from every family must serve the Imperial army!”

Sandara’s eyes widened, and her grandmother, who was beside her, grabbed hold of her arm as if to restrain her from doing something. The messenger started to call surnames, and one young man representative would take a courageous step forward and accept the scroll.

“The Park family!” The messenger cried out. Sandara’s throat went sandpaper-dry as she watched her younger brother, Sanghyun takes a step forward to get the scroll. Somehow, he didn’t trip as he usually does when he’s nervous but his voice betrayed him, “I-I will s-serve the emperor to honor my f-father.”

Sandara tore her hand away from her grandmother’s grip and rushed forward, placing herself between Sanghyun and the messenger. She swallowed and said, “My brother can’t go. Please, my father has served the army until he died. This family has already shown enough bravery-“

“Silence!” The messenger cried, turning his horse so sudden Sandara was about to be trampled. Luckily, her battle reflexes worked and she stepped back before the horse’ hooves could trample her like a thin paper can. “You would do well to teach your sister to hold her tongue in a man’s presence!”

Sandara gritted her teeth, but Sanghyun never said a word. One of the soldiers held the scroll out to Sanghyun, and before Sandara could slap it away out of anger, her grandmother was already there holding her shoulders. Sanghyun took the scroll with a ninety degree bow.

“Report tomorrow to the Seoul camp!” The messenger commanded and “Yes, sir.” was all Sanghyun could say.

He walked back again to their house with a half-determined and half-scared face, and Sandara could only watch him from afar. She could see him walking away, like her father fifteen years ago and it was like a déjà vu.

Her heart ached a thousand times as before.

It was Sandara’s job to check if all candles are turned off before she goes to bed. As she walked down past the hallway, a candle light shines from her late father’s office. With a frown, Sandara walked towards it, but quickly stopped when she heard a familiar sound, like a yielding of a sword.

“Hiya!” She heard Sanghyun cry, but was soon enough followed by a grunt. The sword fell down on the floor and Sanghyun followed, doubling over with his other hand clutching his sword hand. He didn’t undergo training with their father before he died, because Sanghyun was too young that time. Sandara herself can’t even teach him the lessons she took because her mother forbid her to use them again unless in a matter of life and death.

She leaned against the wall, listening to her brother’s cry as he tried to get up and yield the sword again. She can’t bear herself again witness another pain in her life if Sanghyun will die in the war.

If she was to go…

Sandara took a deep breath and walked away.

Her cat looked at her with curiosity as Sandara fumbled with the scissors. Just one cut, she thought. She gathered all of her hair in one tight grip and cut it with the scissors, but it was still long to be passable as a man’s hair. With a deep sigh, she then placed her brother’s picture on her vanity mirror. The men of her town will be shocked if they’d see another man besides Sanghyun in the Park family since he was known as the only boy. If she were to disguise as Sanghyun, that would be better. They won’t question anything.

Sandara started to cut her hair as her brother’s, starting with the top up to the bottom. It was a relief Sanghyun shaved his sideburns off, or Sandara would’ve used fake sideburns and that would’ve been harder.

When she was finished, her cat purred loudly and Sandara only gushed. She looked a lot like Sanghyun, but younger. Cutting her hair made her look like a pre-mature Sanghyun in his fourteen years of age than Sanghyun in his nineteen years of age.

“This is better than nothing, right?” She asked her cat, who only responded with a contented purr. Sandara stood up, heaving a sigh and went towards her bed where the former armor of her father lays. She changed her clothes from her cheongsam to one of Sanghyun’s old cheongsam then wore the armor. She grunted after wearing it. The metal was too heavy for her, and it was dragging her down.

“Aigoo,” She sighed, her forehead creasing. It was just the start of her journey, and her armor shouldn’t be a problem. Hastily, she straightened up and familiarized herself with the armor. If this is what she’s going to wear during the war, at least she needs to get used to it. Blend in, her father would say.

Miraculously, Sandara felt no pain anymore and her body felt it wasn’t being dragged down anymore. On her bed, she didn’t realize until she purred, her cat sat. It gazed on her for the final time before falling asleep.

Sandara grabbed her bag and walked outside to the dark hallway. Her armor wasn’t noisy as she could imagine as she walks down, but she didn’t let that thought make her stop from walking gently. She made a rigid turn to her brother’s room, whose door was opened widely.

Sanghyun was sleeping cozily on his bed, snoring and saliva dripping. The scroll and the sword were placed on his bedside table. His room smelled like a mixture of sweat and polish, a reminder that Sanghyun took his time practicing how to yield a sword.

Sandara walked up to her brother’s bed and kissed him on the forehead, resulting for the latter to stir in his sleep. She smiled at him, and whispered, “I’m sorry. I love you.”

She turned to his bedside table and grabbed the sword and the scroll, replacing it with her hairbrush. A memento, she presumes, for them.

Sandara walked back to the hallway, and then towards the stable. She sheathed the sword and slung it to her back along with her knapsack, while the scroll stayed in her hands. It seemed to radiate cold to her hands, seeping the only heat in her body. Her stomach now cries from the nervousness, and her heart continuously beats against her ribcage, hard and painful.

When she reached the stable, it was raining heavily and storming outside. Sandara could barely see with the fog, but she followed her instincts and walked towards her horse. She had named it An because its color was as dark as the dark side of the moon and has been her companion when she needs to run errands for her mother. It whinnied when she tried to sling her knapsack on its back, because An has never been in good terms with Sanghyun.

Sandara rubbed its head, and whispered, “An it’s me, Sandara.”

The horse calmed down, and turned its side towards Sandara, now letting her tie her knapsack and sword on it. She smiled as she tied her belongings on her horse’s back, while saying, “It’s going to be just you and me in this journey. You want that?”

An whinnied contentedly. Sandara tightened the rope and rode on the back.

“Hiya!” She shouted, jerking the rope tied around An’s neck and the horse ran out from the stone entrance.

Sanghyun bolted upright from his bed. He swore that just a while ago, he heard the familiar whine of his sister’s horse. Then it dawned up to him. The scroll. The sword.

Hastily, Sanghyun turned his head towards his bedside table. Horror dawned on his face as he saw his sister’s most prized hairbrush.

“Noona!” He shouted and bolted out of his bed. He ran along the hallway, screaming his sister’s name and started to find her in every room. It didn’t take a long time for his grandmother and mother to wake up and shut his mouth by wrapping a cloth around it.

“Park Sanghyun!” His mother scolded, her hands on her waist. “It’s in the middle of the night! Stop your sister and get back to sleep.”

Sanghyun tore off the cloth that was covering his mouth and replied, “Noona has gone off to the Seoul camp to replace me!”

“What?” His mother could only say. Tears started to form in her eyes. “We need to get her back here-“

“She must’ve gone a long while ago. Even with a horse, we can’t catch up to her.” Grandmother said, her face grim.

“Then, make Sanghyun go there and drag her back here.” His mother said, desperately.

Sanghyun shook his head, choking back his tears. “I can’t. If the army knew about her joining the army, she’d be beheaded.”

His mother sobbed uncontrollably and was joined by his grandmother, both of them collapsing down on the floor.