It's been years since I left that place...

The moments that were built in there keeps playing in my mind whenever I remember them.

It's been years also since she left me alone. Alone in the dark...

When the moment she returned the ring, she didn't even state her reason as to why does she have to leave?

I also went to another place just to forget everything about it.

But they keep on haunting me.

 

I have to move-on.... I have to give her up no as she was gone in my life.

 

---

 

"Eomma, I'm going out...."

I've returned home to my mother's house after some months. I just felt homesick after moving-on for some years.

"What will you do outside? It's raining."

"I just want to walk for a bit."

I wear my shoes and get my umbrella. I was ready to go outside when my mom ask me something again.

"Is there something bothering you? You've just returned here 30 minutes ago. At least you should rest for now."

"No, I'm fine mom..."

 

She returned to clean up the plates we used a while ago. But she added another sentence again with a deep sigh.

"Don't pretend that you haven't forgotten her..."

I paused for a bit. My eyes widened at her words, but it returned to normal because this conversation has nothing to do with me now.

I've forgotten about her. And so I think she was also.

I gave my her a sigh and went outside without saying a word.

I'm afraid that she will say some more if I replied to her.

 

---

 

As I was walking, the rain was almost gone. I felt happy when the sun is finally peeking behind the clouds.

I went to the other side of the road to see all the renewed stores.

Many things have changed since I left. There were many new stores and shops to go, new people also. Though I have noticed some familiar people.

I put down my umbrella, closed it and removed the excess droplets of rain at its side.

 

I wonder if, by chance, I can see her here....

But, pft--- in my dreams...

 

There were people crossing my path with smiles and happiness in their eyes. It's great to know that this place turns out to be better than the usual.

I continued to walk, greeting people with smiles also.

As I was strolling around, I was passed by to a coffee shop (that place) and it took my breath away when someone just went outside of it, smiling and feeling the air when the rain had stopped.

My eyes widened when I knew who that person was, standing right in front of me.

 

It was her.... Is it really her?

 

I think my heart stops beating and all things around me just.... stopped....

I don't know what's happening to me right now but when I saw her again, I feel free and the feeling from before, with just a split second, it returned effortless.

I thought I have moved-on.

I thought it was over.

I thought the feeling from the past was gone.

 

But now, it blooms again from the way it started before. Here also, at this place. The first time we met each other.

I was distracted with my thoughts when a peck of water went to my face. I wiped it off and as soon as I looked up, she went inside.

Because of curiosity, I followed her and sit down at a table near on the counter.

As I looked at her while she was working, the memories from the past rewinds in my mind.

 

---

 

"No, not like that, youll cut yourself. Here I'll show you how. See?"

"Whoa... How come you are good at this? My pride sinks...."

"Haha... Don't be like that. Here, I'll show you how to cook this..."

I put all the things that was needed and cook the food.

 

"Yah! Don't flip it."

"Hahahah! It won't fall, don't worry."

As the food was cooked, she prepared the plate and place the food on it.

 

"Here say ah--"

"Ah---hmmmm... It's good! You should try also."

I take a small amount of it and feed her.

"Is it good?"

"No, It's great!!"

"Sure it is,.... "

 

---

 

I remember it. The memories of our first being together. I was really happy to be with her at that time. I felt like I was the happiest person in the world.

I missed touching her hair whenever she fell asleep in my lap while I'm reading a book...

 

My thoughts were distracted again when a waitress ask me if I need something. I just simply requested for a cup of coffee.

I remember again, when the time I was going to tell her....

 

---

 

We were having a coffee and I couldn't wait to propose to her.

I tapped my hand while drinking my coffee. I can't wait to see her reaction that I have a ring in my finger.

"Myungsoo... Is that a ring?"

"Hmm? Ah, yeah it is."

"Why do you have that? Are you engaged to someone?"

 

I'm stopping myself to of bursting out of laugh. Her expression just now was so sad and disappointed. hahaha!

"Yes I am...." I replied and drink my coffe again.

I saw her head drop down. I think it's time to say it. Enough for acting. I'm too embarassed to make her feel sad.

I took her hand and looked at her eye to eye as I will say this to her with sincerity.

 

I took the other ring and put it in her finger.

"yes, I am engaged to someone who is in front of me right now."

I saw her eyes shimmering and as no words hace blurted out, we knew that we love each other so much that no one can come in our way.

 

"Will you marry me?"

 

"yes....":

 

We hold each other's hand and smiled like forever.

 

---

 

I was taken aback to the reality when someone placed a cup of coffee on my table.

 

"Enjoy your cup sir..."

 

She said with a smile and turn away like she doesn't know me.

Didn't she recognize me? For sure I didn't change physically. But why didn't she ever realized I was here.

A memory had passed again to my mind. The picture from when she gave back the ring to me with no reason to return.

She removed it from her finger, took my hand and gave back the ring from my very own hand.

 

Why?

 

Why did she leave? Am I not that good looking to her?

Am I not sitable for her company?

Does she felt tired of my existence?

Does she?

 

So many unanswered questions came into my mind. I don't know! My mind, together with my heart is breaking again.

I can't take it anymore. It hurts! I don't want to feel this kind of feeling. I want to just leave and start a new life.

The memories from before keep on playing. My head hurts. Ans so as my heart. This ! I want to make it stop.

 

Before I knew it, I removed the ring that was still in my finger. The same ring from before. I placed it on the table. I stand up and walk away.

I want to leave it all here.

I want to burn it all down here from where it all started.

As I leave this shop, probably I can leave her also.

 

Well, I don't have to know the reason why she left... If something's not in me that she doesn't see, maybe it's best that we leave each other. After all, she looks contented and happy when I'm not around.

She doesn't even recognize me. That's the proof that she forgets me that easily.

 

"Uhm sir?." I walk, going out of the store when someone tapped me at the back and called me.

I'm afraid to turn around and see that it is her. But I still look around to face her.

 

Just one last look from her...

 

"Sir I believe this is........................yours...........?"

She held her hand up to let me see the ring that I placed on the table. But her expression changed when she saw me face to face.

The tears that I barely couldn't keep started to fall as I touch her hand and keep the ring to her.

 

I don't know what happen, but she was gazing at me when she saw my tears came down and keep the ring to her. She looks so sad and from the way she looked at me, I wish she realize that I am the Myungsoo right now that she used to know and love before. I wish that she remembered me. From the day that we met up until now, I wish that she will all remember the past as I look at her with one last chance to face her.

 

No words to say. My action speaks than the voice I have.

I want to hug her for the last time.

I want to kiss her for the last time.

I want to spent the day with her for the last time.

I want to be with her for the last time.

 

But, right now, it's too late. I can't turn it back from the way it was.

I have to leave. Move to a place where I can be at peace. Where no problems can be made.

I want to go there.

 

I look down but then look at her again and nodded. It was a sign of thanking her. I don't care if she understands it or not.

So many things I want to say but I have to go.

I let go of her hands, turn away and face to other side of the way out....

When I went out, it's raining again.

Today was something...........

 

A second chance to meet with her again but I was the one who let go this time.

 

Those memories that I couldn't handle, all ends here....

 

It should end here....