Sometimes he wondered if his self preservation sense actually worked right. Sometimes, and that time happened to be one of those. He couldn't help but feel his insides twist as he came back to his apartment at night, sore still, tired, and how the hell could he still be feeling like butterflies would come out flying through his mouth at the sight.
The dim intermittent light of the TV washed the small kitchen-livingroom space, but it was the way it was reflected on that perfect profile what made Jonghyun almost go back out. Instead he stared. He stared at those eyes that were on the TV, that face, that hair, and how could he still be so handsome after all. After what happened the day before.
It seemed an eternity had passed when Minho turned towards him, a blank expression at first, a sweet, shy smile, apologetic even, later. The sound of dropping bags, coats, shoes, the sound of fast, light steps was all Minho could register before he had the smaller man straddling him on the couch. He winced: "Jjong, it hurts".
"Shut up" was all he got as an answer, muffled between their lips as Jonghyun pecked him softly and repeatedly, as if the butterflies had managed to escape in the end, going from Jonghyun through Minho and down his throat, finally feeling them rest on his stomach as well.
"It hurts though"
 
Minho had picked up everything on his own. It wasn't like Jonghyun could stay oblivious to that fact, it was his home too. But somehow it seemed trashed; it felt trashed, it felt old, it felt wasted. It was cheap: it couldn't be anything else even with their earnings put together.
Everything that broke, Minho had put it inside plastic bags, maybe things they had cherished once; and Minho had to pick up the mess on his own.
No, they needn't any of it. It was trash, Jonghyun thought.
 
"What's so funny?" Jonghyun put his pen down: that had been it. Minho snickered a bit more before answering, pointing at Jonghyun's face. Jonghyun rolled his, well, eye and Minho laughed more, though with short gasps of air and a bit twangy.
"As if you're looking any better" Jonghyun said, grimacing and looking Minho up and down. Minho got closer, still chuckling, sitting almost on top of the other.
"Not really, no. I can't look better than you in this kind of situation"
Jonghyun looked up, judging the smirk plastered across the taller's face. As they were looking at each other too much and that made him quite uncomfortable, Jonghyun reached his hands up to Minho's snickering face to push him away.
"Careful" said Minho, still amused for god knows what reason.
"What, does your ugly purple nose hurt?" Jonghyun said, his turn to smirk.
"Wouldn't your eye"
"Well, it is hurt that you've been laughing at it"
"...Would it feel better if I apologized?"
Jonghyun seemed to consider this "I don't know, go ahead. Though I can't guarantee you anything"
Minho laughed again, getting close. Jonghyun could feel the hot air against his swollen eye as Minho spoke "Hey, don't feel bad eye, I'm sorry. You know, you're still very beautiful, even though you can't look at yourself properly"
 
Maybe it was nothing different, nothing out of the ordinary. Still, all Jonghyun could remember was refusing to apologize for something that didn't seem that relevant. There had been words and they were just that. Words. But that was nothing like the pain he could feel then: a sharp flash of pain and then nothing, then the floor, then still the darkness.
Ah, did it have something to do with it? (It wasn't entirely dark though). He stood up again, the sweat sticking to his body, or blood, he couldn't tell one from the other. Looking up at Minho, Jonghyun didn't know if he was still mad, angry, but he knew he was tired.
It was exhaustion steadily taking over his brain, over his everything; Minho seemed still past the point of talking and not yet on the course of being able to use some reason again. What else to do but be hit once more, failing miserably in the self defense department.
Jonghyun's body and the bedside table met in the worst way possible, no introductions allowed and there was sure to be hostilities between them in the future: the furniture shook in protest. They weren't aware of the candle falling to the side, free-fall to land safely on the mattress.
It seemed inanimate objects had their own plans for the day as the room was suddenly bathed in a stronger light, getting stronger at a steady pace.
Jonghyun looked up, standing as fast as his body allowed him to "" , ! Minho, move! he raced to the bathroom.
As Jonghyun entered the bedroom again Minho was hitting the mattress with a pillow, trying to subdue the fire, but only resulting on it turned to a fluffy torch. Water was thrown fast, wile Minho decided the pillow had to sacrifice itself by being thrown to the floor and stepped onto. Darkness surrounded them immediately, a silence only broken by their raged breaths.
In other circumstances, maybe it all would have been good laughing material, but then again... Jonghyun was hurt. The simple act of breathing brought pain to him. How swiftly the air gushed into his lungs, to his blood, to his heart... Oxygen was indeed the fuel to the flame, the shorter thought, as he felt his body burn with each breath he took: every fiber of his body screamed in protest, because as he regained his breath, blood would deliver life in form of molecules; life he didn't feel like taking either.
He had to get out, he had to, because his body was screaming so much he was afraid Minho would hear it. He would, and surely hear his name multiplied by thousands as all Jonghyun's cells knew to call were the ones Minho owned, and he hated that.
If it was all just as simple as breathing... maybe he should just stop altogether.
 
Something Kibum never managed to understand was how those two had wound up together. Much less how Jonghyun insisted on sticking with Minho when Kibum suggested the opposite. It was pointless, he'd say to Kibum. It was pointless and he shouldn't be concerned.
But how couldn't he, it hurt him to see his friend hurt as well, he worried all the more because he knew.
Hell, you didn't even need to know the guy to tell.
 
Trying to sleep seemed completely futile in that state. He was uncomfortable, it was cramped, not to mention it was summer and heat didn't help a bit.
This didn't seem to disturb the giant lying beside him, though. Jonghyun sighed. He would sleep in the sofa, ok; he just didn't understand why it had to be him when Minho was clearly invading his bed (and it wasn't that big either), but the guy was too stubborn.
An arm wrapped around him as he was slipping out of bed: he could kiss goodbye his night of sleep.
"Don't go" he heard a half-asleep Minho murmur into his back.
"No way, I'm the hell leaving so get off of me!" Jonghyun scream-whispered back, flailing about, trying to get himself free. Which was obviously useless.
"Stay with me"
"I said I'm leaving and I so am!"
A chuckle and he was dragged deeper into the mattress.
"Yeah, I can see"
"If you would just let go" Jonghyun huffed, trying to turn around "please?" he said for added effect, trying a different approach. Minho just stared at him with sleepy eyes before simply saying "No". This bastard.
Jonghyun opened and closed his mouth a few times before giving up and grumbling low, messily crossing his arms over his chest and making sure to poke Minho on the ribs with his elbows in the process.
Stillness didn't last long though. Jonghyun had never really been in good terms with it anyway.
"Stop moving so damn much" Complained Minho, voice still raspy from sleep as he struggled along with the smaller man.
"No you stop... Stop sleeping in my bed!"
"Stop eating for a month and buy me a new one" was Minho's retort. Jonghyun stared at him through the darkness, incredulous, as if they hadn't had that conversation before. The taller chuckled, but silence sometimes said more than actual words, so none of them spoke.
"You know, it's not even that brunt down" well, sure Jonghyun never knew about the 'speak with your eyes' dynamics, or instead choose to ignore them completely. Minho didn't seem to agree, as he just stared at the shorter so heavily, Jonghyun averted his gaze in spite of the darkness surrounding them.
"It's been kinda long, you know?"
Of course Jonghyun knew, but he preferred to shake his head no almost frantically, trying to turn around. He knew where things were heading, what with Minho's hands roaming his arms softly, encouragingly; but Jonghyun didn't want to fall.
He refused to fall in deeper, not when he was almost out and free -or so he liked to think. Minho had this power, like a magnet that drew him in with nothing Jonghyun could do about it. The absolute truth about it was so fake, because Jonghyun still had a choice, but he had to notice that then and there for it to work.
Avoiding the hot touches and turning his head so Minho's soft kisses misfired and landed elsewhere but his own lips, Jonghyun noticed the hot salty trails that poured down his cheeks until he tasted them himself.
Minho halted and looked Jonghyun's face up and down, a bit of concern on his brow, questioning the smaller man beside him quietly. But Jonghyun just emitted small muffled sobs, trying to hide his face because he felt ashamed for being caught crying without notice, so he couldn't see Minho's saddened and worried expression as he got up and out of bed.
"I... I'll be sleeping in the sofa" Jonghyun muttered low and almost unclear, before drifting out and away from his room, leaving Minho to ponder over his thoughts alone.
 
It was not as simple; his mind reassured him as his body consumed itself, feeling angry and impotent. No reflections had been made because he was too proud -they were both too proud still- to accept all the wrong things.
No wonder Jonghyun was nowhere to bee seen when he woke up the next morning.
 
No reflection had been allowed- none, until then.
 

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So here's the first part ^^; (hope it's not as messy as it seems to me).

The part where the bed gets brunt was because Jonghyun was in charge of paying the electricity bill that month, but he didn't so,

that's why the candle is there (also why Minho was mad). I wanted to explain this in the story but couldnt find the right way to do it u..u;

English is not my first language so sorry about any mistakes.

Comments are really appreciated :)