~~~~~~~~~~

Chanyeol looked in the mirror and straightened his tie. He pulled on some loose hair ends so they would lay flat, and then looked himself up and down. He didn’t look too bad, if he said so himself. Sometimes he liked how he looked and other times he didn’t. He always liked that he was blessed with tall genes, but then there were his ears that stuck out funny. It was a give and take when it came to his body.

But today he felt like he looked good. His hair was styled, and he had even put on some weird skin stuff to make his face look clean. He was wearing black slacks and a navy blue dress shirt, and he spritzed on some cologne, just enough so he could barely smell it so it wouldn’t be overbearing. He felt good, like he might go far enough to say he even looked hot. Chanyeol never was one to be a narcissist, but tonight he felt attractive.

Tonight he wanted to look good. Jiyoon and Baekhyun were coming over for dinner, and as much as Chanyeol didn’t want to admit to himself, his appearance wasn’t all for Jiyoon. There was no denying that he was more excited for her brother to be coming over than he was for Jiyoon to be coming over. He tried to kid himself, but he knew deep down that there was something about Baekhyun that was getting to him. For the most part he ignored that unsettling feeling which was turning into something more than friendship, something more than he had with Jongin. But ten minutes ago when he started to get dressed, he was unconsciously trying to look his best for his special guest. It worried him because he knew his feelings were going in the wrong direction. In completely the wrong direction.

Chanyeol meandered downstairs and into the kitchen. His mom and dad were both cooking some fabulous dinner of clams and pasta. Chanyeol slumped down in one of the bar stools and glanced at the clock. He still had another twenty minutes to go before the siblings showed up and he was feeling restless.

His mother turned towards her son and took on a look of excitement. “Oh, Chanyeol-ah. You look so nice. I’m glad you are taking this seriously. I’m just so excited to have her over for dinner.” Chanyeol saw so many things wrong with what she said. Sure, he looked nice, but it really wasn’t for Jiyoon. And she also failed to mention how happy she was to have Baekhyun over. “Can you go set the table, dear? Use the good plates.”

Chanyeol obediently got up and got out five plates from the cabinet along with silverware from a drawer. He went into the dining room and set the table, one plate setting for his father at the head of the table and two on each side for everyone else. He wondered to himself if Baekhyun would sit next to him or across from him, then scolded himself for thinking about such a trivial thing.

He lined up each piece of silverware perfectly, and folded each napkin so it was perfect, and made the centerpiece line up straight, and just tried to make the whole table look like five-star-restaurant perfection. He strode into the living room and straightened out the pillows on the sofa, just to give himself something to do. His mom had already vacuumed the house and cleaned the bathrooms, so there wasn’t really anything else left to do to make the house look good.

Without any task to do, Chanyeol plopped down on the sofa and waited. He wondered what the night would bring. Would they like the dinner? Well, probably, since Baekhyun seems like he would eat anything. What would happen after they finished eating? Maybe they would hang out in his room, or go for an after-dinner stroll. But then there was Jiyoon to think about too, so they probably wouldn’t play video games or do something she wouldn’t like.

Endless possibilities floated through his head. He was excited for how the evening would pan out, because every possible outcome was a good one. He was happy that he got to see Baekhyun so soon, even it if was just yesterday they were kicking Jongin’s in Mario Kart. He was making himself smile out of excitement, which made him feel like an idiot because he probably looked funny, smiling at what seemed to be nothing. But it definitely was not just nothing.

Chanyeol heard the ‘ding dong’ of the doorbell and gleefully got up. In his euphoric state and remembered to calm down and put on a normal face before opening the door. He took some deep breaths to try and sooth the adrenaline coursing through his veins and patted down his impossible hair one more time before turning the door handle.

Jiyoon stood in front of him with a pretty purple dress and black tights. She had on a black coat and scarf on as well because of the cold weather. Her hair and makeup were simple and she had a pleasant smile on her lips.

“Hello Chanyeol.” She said, not sounding as unexcited as Chanyeol expected her to be. He smiled at her and then craned his neck to peer behind her.

“Is Baekhyun still with the car?” He asked, hoping to not come off as uninterested in her as he really felt.

Jiyoon’s smile fell and she looked at her hands. “He couldn’t come.”

Chanyeol’s whole evening expectations fell apart with those three words. He could feel the happiness leave his body with a heavy exhale and the disappointment rush in to take its place. “Oh, okay, that’s fine.” But it really wasn’t, because he was more upset than he knew he should be. He waited to hear what the excuse was, but she didn’t speak up and he didn’t ask out of politeness for his privacy.

Chanyeol ushered her in and she removed her shoes and slipped her feet into a pair of guest slippers. Chanyeol lead her into the kitchen where his parents were finishing up cooking.

“Jiyoon-ah! It’s lovely to see you.” Chanyeol’s mother said and strode over to the two, giving Jiyoon a girl hug.

Chanyeol’s dad came over and put his hand on her arm with a smile. “It’s nice to see you again.” He said.

“You came at the perfect moment. Dinner is almost finished.”

Jiyoon smiled pleasantly. “It looks delicious.” She said, eyeing the clams and pasta.

“Chanyeol, why don’t you give Jiyoon a tour of the house?” Chanyeol’s father said, snapping Chanyeol out of the funk he was in. “I’m sure by the time you are done dinner will be served.”

Chanyeol nodded and looked at Jiyoon. He gave her a small smile and said, “I’ll give you a tour. Follow me.”

He took her through the house, showing each room. She didn’t say much, nothing more than complimenting the upholstery or furnishings. They went upstairs and he took her down the hallway, pointing out each bedroom, but not seeing a real reason to go into any of them.

When they made their way back down the hallway and towards the stairs, Chanyeol realized Jiyoon had stopped following him at some point. He turned around to see her studying one of the many photos that lined the hallway walls. When he approached her he realized it was one of him when he was in high school.

“You don’t look that different.” Jiyoon said softly.

“No, not really I guess. I was a little scrawnier, but other than that I haven’t really changed. Just grew taller. That’s it.”

Jiyoon smiled a little bit and moved onto another photo, one of him from when he was in elementary school, and much, much chubbier.

“Who is this?” She asked, and Chanyeol thought she may have been joking at first, but then she looked up at him expectantly and he realized she wasn’t.

He made a face of embarrassment. “Me. I was a bit different than now.”

Jiyoon looked she thought she had been insulting, putting a hand up to . She looked between Chanyeol and his photo multiple times before letting out a small laugh. “I would say more than a bit.”

Chanyeol was slightly amused by her bluntness, wondering if she might have gotten the trait from her older brother. Which made him think of Baekhyun. Which made him melancholy again.

“But don’t worry. You changed for the better.” She said sweetly.

Chanyeol smiled nicely. “I think so too.”

Their last stop on the house tour was the dining room, where Chanyeol’s parents happened to be putting food on the table. When they went to take their seats the fifth plate was finally brought to attention.

“Oh, wasn’t your brother Baekhyun supposed to come as well?” Chanyeol’s mother asked. Chanyeol hated how she just noticed his absence. As well as asking Jiyoon such a question that she obvious knew the answer to. It made Chanyeol seethe.

Jiyoon glanced at Chanyeol before solemnly looking at his parents. “He was unable to at the last minute. He apologizes and also is grateful for the invitation, even though he couldn’t come.”

“Well that’s too bad.” Chanyeol’s mother said, not sounding very upset at all.

“Yes, it’s a shame. I’d like to meet the boy sometime.” Chanyeol’s father said, which made Chanyeol feel a little bit better, knowing that at least one of his parents had an interest in the rest of Jiyoon’s family.

Chanyeol’s mother gleefully took away the now extra place setting and disappeared into the kitchen to put it away. Moments later she reappeared and everyone took their seat, Jiyoon sitting next to Chanyeol.

For the most part the dinner was much a repeat of how the dinner at the Jung’s house had gone. Chanyeol’s parents for the most part asked Jiyoon more questions that they hadn’t asked her at their very first meeting, just like Jiyoon’s parents had asked Chanyeol many questions when he was at their house. And just like Jiyoon had kept pretty quiet at the dinner at her house, Chanyeol was remaining relatively silent as well. If things were repeating themselves, Baekhyun should have been bounding through the door any minute, but Chanyeol really doubted that that would happen. It didn’t stop him from glancing towards the front door every few minutes though.

Chanyeol started to space out. He took small bites of his food, hoping to elongate the time he would have to focus on it instead of the people around him. He looked up when appropriate and smiled when he heard his parents laugh, all in order to look like he was paying attention. But in reality he was thinking.

He was starting to worry himself. A certain boy who was not present tonight was making his head spin and he didn’t like it. Well, he did like it, in a way. He knew he shouldn’t be thinking about that eyeliner-wearing boy as much as he was, but for some reason he was the main topic in his brain most of the time. He caught himself thinking about him so many times today already, and every time he had scolded himself, because he knew it wasn’t right. It just was not a good idea in any aspect, Chanyeol kept having to tell himself.

Eventually there was not more food to preoccupy himself with, so he was forced to take notice of the conversation going on in front of him. They happened to be talking about the kind of work Chanyeol’s dad was in. Mr. Park was animatedly talking about the complexities of how to go about building something, be it a house or an office.

Chanyeol decided to slowly get up. When he mother gave him a questioning look he leaned down near her ear and said, “I’m going to go bring out the cake in the frig." She nodded and then continued to listen to her husband.

Chanyeol took his time walking into the kitchen and to the refrigerator. He opened the door and peered inside, sliding out the cake with two hands. He set it on the counter and removed the cover over it to reveal the large dessert his mother had baked a few hours ago. Carefully, he walked back into the dining room. Jiyoon’s eyes lit up when she saw the cake in his hands. He wondered if she had a sweet tooth.

“Oh, wow. It looks delicious.” She said in awe.

“I think it should taste alright.” Chanyeol’s mother said. “I just baked it this afternoon.”

Jiyoon gasped, obviously impressed. “You made that?” She asked incredulously.

Chanyeol could tell his mom was loving the attention. “Yes, I did in fact.”

“Wow. I’ve always wanted to learn how to cook and to bake.” Jiyoon said.

“Well maybe someday I could give you a lesson.”

Jiyoon looked quite happy at that offer and nodded her head eagerly. Chanyeol knew that his mother loved him dearly, but she really had wanted a girl. He was their first and only child, and his mother had been probably been sad when they never got to have another child, specifically a girl. He figured his mother was happy that she was finally getting to experience what it was like to have a daughter.

The cake was sliced and divvied up between the four of them. Chanyeol wondered if Baekhyun had a favorite cake flavor. He thought it might be chocolate.

As much as he was annoyed with his mother at the moment, he couldn’t deny that her cake was absolutely scrumptious. He had a harder time eating the cake slowly than he did his dinner, and soon enough he was the first one done.

Seeing this, his mother eyed him as if not to lose out on an opportune moment. “Chanyeol-ah, why don’t you and Jiyoon go on an after-dinner walk. Show her the neighborhood.”

Chanyeol tried to hide his disinterest. “It’s kind of cold out Mom.”

“It’s actually quite a warm night tonight.” His father commented. “At least for October.”

Chanyeol looked at Jiyoon. Her smile was very small and shrugged her shoulders.

“Alright.” Chanyeol said tightly. He noticed that she was also done with her serving of cake. “Shall we go then?” He directed towards Jiyoon.

Jiyoon looked at him like she was a bit unnerved, but nodded regardless.

Chanyeol led the way towards the front door, his parents voices getting softer and softer the farther the two got from the dining room. He slipped a pair of shoes on and sat down to tie them. Jiyoon appeared next to him and likewise did the same. He glanced at her. She only concentrated on tying her shoes and did not say a word.

When he stood up to put his coat on she did too. He grabbed it off its hanger and hung it open for her to slip into. She locked eyes with him for a second, seeming to be surprised by his action, and then accepted his chivalry and slid into the silk inside of the coat.

Out the door they went without a word between the two of them. Chanyeol was much to grumpy to try to come up with some conversation starter. If she wanted to talk then by all means, she should start to. But Chanyeol wasn’t going to push it.

They headed down the street with a slow pace, Chanyeol holding his hands behind his back while Jiyoon stuffed hers in her coat pockets. They walked next to each other, about a foot apart. Chanyeol could just barely see Jiyoon’s visible breath out of the corner of his eye. It was just cold enough outside.

They walked on until they came to a fork in the road. Chanyeol decided to continue on in one direction, using his body to kind of point in the intended direction. Jiyoon remained quiet. He thought they might head to the little park down the road, now that he realized they were going in that direction. It’d be a good sight-seeing experience in their mediocre neighborhood.

Chanyeol wouldn’t deny it, it was a little awkward with neither one talking. He expected Jiyoon to talk about at least something. She seemed like the type of girl who disliked silence, but she’d surprised him before.

A few minutes of more walking down silent and dark streets and he could see the park. When they came up to the perimeter they both stopped and stared at the empty playground. There were swings moving in the slight breeze and moonlight reflected off some of the metal structures.

“It’s a park.”

Chanyeol looked over at the girl who had spoken. She looked much different than when they were eating dinner, Chanyeol noticed. She looked distressed and tired. One of her hands was firmly pressed towards her stomach.

Without another word she walked over towards the swing set, her shoulders slumped and her hands now hanging at her sides. Chanyeol watched her tentatively sit down on one and push off with her legs to move. She held her head down and Chanyeol couldn’t see his eyes.

Chanyeol felt like something was off. He was starting to think he really did do something wrong and hurt her feelings somehow. He tentatively strolled over to the swing next to hers and sat down.

Immediately after he had taken his seat she popped her head up and looked at him. Her eyes had bags under them and face was blank. “Are you okay?”

Chanyeol furrowed his brows and then relaxed them. “I was just going to ask you that.” He said.

She looked up towards the moon. He was suddenly reminded of their first meeting. Not his and Jiyoon’s, no, his and Baekhyun’s. He remembered how he had looked under the moonlight with a thousand lightning bugs all around him. His pale skin illuminated and his lips slightly parted. He remembered how his own heart had felt that day, swishing and dropping and doing loop-d-loops. And for the first time today he didn’t scold himself for having those feelings. He like how his heart now repeated many of its previous actions just by thinking about that moment and he welcomed it. He liked how it felt inside of him and how it took his breath away. Instead of trying to shoo the image of that boy he had been thinking of constantly out of his head, he accepted it. He accepted it whole heartedly.

Jiyoon shook him out of his trance when her voice bloomed through to his ears. “I don’t think I’ve ever really been okay.”

Chanyeol looked at her. He didn’t know how to respond to that. “Can I…Is there anything I can do? To make things better?”

She bit her lip, still peering at the night sky. “I don’t think so. But thank you for offering.”

She griped the swing’s chains suddenly, and very hard. Her bottom lip was turning white from how hard she was biting it. Chanyeol then noticed that her eyes were getting glassy with what he hoped weren’t tears.

“It’s just that—” She sharply took in a breath to give support to her shaky voice. “Sometimes I swear I still feel it.”

Feel what?

Chanyeol waited for more, but she didn’t elaborate. She had s her arms around her midsection and was struggling to hold back the moisture that’d pooled in her eyes.

Chanyeol didn’t necessarily feel uncomfortable, rather more anxious. He had no idea what brought this on and he felt like it was his fault for not being social with her before. He felt like he should reach out for her, but he wasn’t sure how to do that. A minute went by with him being in his inner conflict and her trying to keep it together.

Suddenly she wiped at her eyes roughly and turned to him with a hurt smile. “I’m sorry. That’s never happened to me around other people. I don’t know how I let that slip.”

Not only did her words confuse him, but they pained him as well.

She patted her hands on her legs and rubbed them vigorously. She stood up and looked down at Chanyeol with what he believed to be no more than a fake smile. “We should go home.”

The walk home was filled with tenseness that was only alleviated by a forced conversation much like the ones they had previous had. Small talk got them through the entire journey back to the house as Jiyoon chit chatted about her day in a way that much contrasted how she had been acting at the swing set. Chanyeol listened and watched her attentively, trying to figure out the girl who walked next to him. For a second he forgot that he was going to marry her, and thought about her as a normal person. As if she was somebody who he had met on the streets instead of meeting her because of their situation. He saw her as a person and not as someone whom he had a social obligation towards.

When they walked into the house and into the kitchen Chanyeol’s parents were finishing cleaning up. Both of his parents smiled at them when they entered. We obviously know how to hide our true selves behind false masks.

“How was your walk? Did you get a good handle on the neighborhood?”

Jiyoon smiled pleasantly, like always. “Yes, it’s a lovely neighborhood.”

“We went to the park.” Chanyeol added.

“Well that’s very nice.” Chanyeol’s father said.

Jiyoon picked up on the pause of conversation quickly, and said, “I do hate to be rude, but my driver is supposed to be coming any minute now to bring me back home.”

“Oh, no, that’s not a problem at all.” Mr. Park said, although Chanyeol’s mom looks less pleased.

“However before I go I did want to give you this invitation.” She opened up her purse and pulled out an envelope. “This weekend we are hosting a party for various individuals in our circle.” She handed the envelope over to Mr. Park. She looked at Chanyeol pointedly when she next said, “We hope you all will be able to come.” Her stare wasn’t harsh, but almost hopeful.

“Of course we’ll come.” Mr. Park said.

“Yes, it sounds lovely.” Chanyeol’s mother added. “Doesn’t it Chanyeol?”

“What? Oh. Yes it does. I’ll look forward to it.” Chanyeol wasn’t really paying attention. He was thinking about this party that the Jung’s were hosting and just who would be there. A certain someone that would be there that would really make his day.

Jiyoon then left, thanking the Park family over and over again for the dinner and their time. Before she went out the door she looked at Chanyeol for a moment and held his gaze. He wanted to pull his eyes away, but there was something in her eyes that he couldn’t recognize. It was new, and different, and very much not like Jiyoon. The pleasantness she always had surrounding her seemed to have an extra layer of defense.

He thought back on their evening and thought that it hadn’t gone very well. Many things happened that he didn’t understand and it left him confused and not sure how to act around Jiyoon when he would see her at their party. But he wasn’t thinking about seeing her as much as he was thinking about seeing that boy with the eyeliner who wouldn’t exit his thoughts.

A/N  Okay so maybe two more chapters before something big happens.