Something was wrong.

That was the first thought running through Kibum's mind as he slowly eased out of his sleep. He couldn’t move a single muscle and there was a terrible ache in his chest. He tried taking deep breaths, but the earlier even rising and falling of his still chest turned to erratic gasping. He couldn’t remember why he was like this and he fear twisted his insides as he opened his eyes only to feel tears run down his temples.

He was in his room, staring up at the colourful, soft light caused by the sun shining through his tulle-covered windows. Colours that previously only served as a distraction from his grim and shameful everyday life, but seemed so much prettier now when Jonghyun had come into his life. He had put emotion in Kibum’s every day and made the colours in his life seem so much more vivid and vibrant.

A sob shook his body and he wanted to scream.

Jonghyun.

Jonghyun.

Jonghyun was dead. Gone. He would never hold Kibum close again, never make him smile with his stupidly cute blunders, never put colour to his cheeks and butterflies in his stomach.

The vibrant shine drained from the room.

It was all gone. The soft smiles and awkward moments, Jonghyun's warm hands and awestruck expressions, his eyes looking at Kibum as if he was something precious and making him feel beautiful all the way to his core, his voice, his laugh, his warmth, his love.

Another sob rattled through him and he could barely breathe.

Why was he awake? Why couldn’t his body have failed him like his mother’s had done? He didn’t want to live with The Owner anymore and allow him to do those disgusting things again when he knew he could have had so much more. So much, much more.

There was a gasp from somewhere beside him and Kibum turned his head with great difficulty, his eyes falling upon a young woman he had never seen before. She was curled up in a chair beside his bed, her long brown hair pulled into a ponytail and her eyes wide with excitement. She looked like she had just woken up herself, her hair was a little ruffled and there were marks on her cheek from where she had leaned it on the back of the chair.

“Oh my god,” she whispered. “Oh my god! Kibum!”

He blinked at her, beyond confused, and opened his mouth to ask who the hell she was. Well, he tried but he only managed a small croaking sound. He frowned and tried again.

“Who?” he managed rasp out.

She smiled at him warmly, as if she had known him forever, and Kibum wondered if he had forgotten some people when he disconnected from reality.

“You don’t know me,” she spoke, as if she had read his thoughts, and he raised his eyebrows at her. “I arrived a bit after you had gone into a coma. I’m Jieun, or IU, the new illusionist.”

New illusionist? What happened to Jessica?

Again, as if she had read his thoughts, Jieun answered him.

“I don’t think I should be the one to tell you what happened. I’ll go get our idiot once I’ve looked you over. You know he has barely slept for months? I had to practically lock him out of here.”

Kibum was more confused than ever. Had the new illusionist just dared to call The Owner an idiot? And he hadn’t slept for months? Kibum knew he wasn’t that emotional to lose sleep over him. Something was off.

He tried sitting up to question – well attempt to question – her more but only managed to lift his head off the pillow. Jieun was quickly at his side and helped him, a glass of water suddenly in her hands. She helped him drink it before checking his muscles silently. He continued watching her, still so utterly confused.

When she had helped him flex his limbs a few times and move around a little he felt a little more in control of himself, even if it was still painful and exhausting to simply lift his hand to dry away the wetness on his cheeks.

Jieun gave him another warm smile.

“Wait here for a moment,” was the only thing she said before she faded out of sight, leaving him all alone.

Dread slowly spread through Kibum like a cold wave and he stared emptily at the spot she disappeared from. He had no wish to see The Owner right now. Or ever really. The one and only time Kibum wanted to face him from now on was when he was strong enough to kill him for what he had done. He had caused so much pain to everyone he ever came in contact with; his unknown father, his mother, Jonghyun, all the performers in the circus.

He closed his eyes as more tears escaped down his cheeks and took a shaky breath. He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t escape in the state he was in and he had no idea what The Owner planned to do to him because of his misbehaviour. He could only hope he would be mad enough to kill him, though it seemed unlikely. The man had almost as strong an obsession with him as he had had with his mother.

The door suddenly flew open and Kibum's heart dropped. He kept his eyes closed, squeezing them shut tighter and lowering his head. He didn’t want The Owner to see his tears. Footsteps approached slowly and Kibum swallowed, waiting for something, anything.

His eyes flew open as gentle fingers caressed down his cheek. They stopped beneath his chin to tilt it up carefully; as if the person touching him was afraid one wrong move would break him.

Kibum's breath caught in his chest as he met the warm, brown eyes belonging to Jonghyun, staring at him in wonder and disbelief.

“Kibum,” he breathed after a second, like he had just remembered he needed oxygen.

He sank down on the bed beside him slowly, never looking away as his hand moved from his chin to his cheek, down his throat, over his collarbone and along his arm to his hand, intertwining their fingers hesitantly. His other hand came up to cup Kibum’s cheek, running his thumb over his cheekbone and the still running tears.

Kibum drew in a sharp breath, tears running faster down his cheeks. Small, raspy sobs clawed their way out of his throat and he closed his eyes again, leaning into the touch.

“Kibum,” Jonghyun murmured softly, carefully pulling him into a hug. “Shh, it’s okay. Everything’s fine. You’re fine.”

Kibum continued to sob into his shirt and Jonghyun rubbed his back, still reassuring him, voice soft.

If this was some sort of illusion they had put him in, he never wanted it to end. He would gladly die in a fake world, if it meant he could be happy again. Die happy.

They sat like that until Kibum managed to calm down, Jonghyun holding him like he was a delicate porcelain doll though it seemed he wanted nothing more than to hug him as close as possible. When Kibum let out a final sniffle Jonghyun pulled back to dry his cheeks, smiling tenderly. Kibum stared at him, a mix between fear and amazement bubbling in him.

“Jonghyun,” he forced out in a small whisper, barely audible. “You died.”

Jonghyun's expression fell.

“I nearly did,” he whispered back. “But Jessica gave her life to save me and killed The Owner.”

Kibum's eyes widened. The Owner was dead?

Jonghyun smiled faintly, thumb rubbing over Kibum’s hand.

“I’m the owner now.”

Kibum couldn’t do anything other than stare, his head spinning with so many questions. Did that mean Jonghyun had an abnormality too? When had all of this happened? How?

“I’ll tell you everything when you have recovered a bit more,” Jonghyun said. “I don’t want to stress you too much.”

He leaned in and gently pressed their lips together. A lovely warmth filled Kibum all the way out to his fingertips. Jonghyun let out a watery laugh as he pulled back and Kibum managed a small smile.

“God, I was so afraid you’d never wake up,” he whispered and kissed him again. “I love you.”

Kibum really didn’t have the voice or energy to do much else besides lean in and press their lips together again. He hoped Jonghyun understood he loved him back through the kiss. Kibum thinks he might have, because he beamed as they pulled apart.

And suddenly the world seemed a lot more colourful again.