Sometimes, I get annoyed

without even knowing. But my

feelings for you haven’t changed

Maybe I’m the weird one, I thought

As I struggled by myself

He was like an angel. A fallen angel, that’s constantly out of my reach. I really love him, I do. But he was so cruel, always leaving me hanging in midair. I hated the fact that it was just like a one-sided love with no returns. I hated the fact that I still loved him even after everything he had done to me. And I hated the fact that I was bounded by his spell. I hated that.

While tossing and turning alone in

an empty room. The TV plays reruns

of yesterday’s drama

As I hold my phone that

doesn’t ring until I sleep

With a sigh, I closed my eyes as the clock struck twelve. He didn’t call again, as usual. No message, no call, nothing. The moonlight shone in through the window, as the breeze slapped against my skin lightly. I felt his warm fingertips touching me ever so slightly, and I could make out his soft whispers of my name in my ear. He wasn’t perfect, I must admit. He was 2 years older than me, had brown floppy hair, a broad shoulder and a pair of bright eyes, yet there were dark circles tracing them. These days, it seemed to have worsened but he never did listen to me once. He was the type that had his own opinions, and once his mind was set, no one could change it. Sure, he wasn’t perfect but every little thing adds up to him, and I’m simply in love with him in all the simplest ways possible. A smile traced my lips as I slowly fell into a deep slumber.

These days, it feels like you’re mine,

it seems like you’re mine but not

It feels like I’m yours,

it seems like I’m yours but not

What are we?

I’m confused, don’t be aloof

It feels like we’re lovers,

it seems like we’re lovers but not

Whenever you see me,

you act so vague to me

These days, I hate hearing

that I’m just like a friend

When I saw him walking towards me today with a smile painting his beautiful face, it brought me down. I wanted to shout at him so badly. I wanted to ask him what I meant to him. I wanted to ask him if he did miss me at all. But I lacked the courage to do so. His smile seemed so genuine while mine was just deceiving.

And it made me wonder if he did remember the past few days we spent together; it felt so surreal to me even till now.

We were sitting on the couch together, my head on his shoulder as he wrapped an arm around my waist. He whispered to me how precious I was to him as I hummed in content and nuzzled his neck. It felt like I was in heaven. His chuckles filled the air whenever I blushed at his cheesy words. It sounded like music to my ears and at that very moment, I decided that it would be my favorite sound.

But all he ever did was to make me feel confused. I was perpetually confused about his feelings towards me. Even more so when he slung an arm around my shoulder earlier today and told me what a great friend I was and how sorry he was for forgetting to contact me. I guess I easily slipped his mind just as how easily I get replaced after a while. I wish I was more than just a friend. But I did understand. He was an angel and well, I was just me after all.

I want to open my eyes to your text

every morning. I want to fall asleep with

your voice at the end of the day. On the

weekends, I want to hug you in front

of a lot of people as if I’m showing off

The desire to hold him and call him mine was getting greater and greater as the days passed. It was so overwhelming especially when he teasingly called me ‘his’. I knew it was just a joke but it hurt me deep within that all that I meant to him was purely his friend.

Constantly on my mind, he haunted me 24/7. I thought of all the sweet gestures he showed me, his little touches still tingling on my skin. And it just kills me on the inside how it feels like we’re lovers but we’re not.

These days, it feels like you’re mine,

it seems like you’re mine

but not. It feels like I’m yours,

it seems like I’m yours

but not. These days, I hate hearing

that I’m just like a friend

“Kim Taehyung,” He whispered softly, lips just an inch away from mine. “I’m sorry.”

“Min Yoongi,” I answered, tearing up slightly, trying to blink away the tears that were threatening to fall.

All of a sudden, his lips came crashing onto mine. Tears cascaded down my cheeks as I tried to push him away, yet he wouldn’t budge. My stomach felt queasy and I wanted to throw up as thoughts were whirling through my mind. What was he doing? Why was he doing this to me? Why?

Finally, he pulled away, the edges of his lips curling as he smirked slightly. But how wrong he was when he thought everything was fine, I was fine. I chuckled bitterly, wiping away the stray tears.

“I’m still just your friend, aren’t I?”

These days, it feels like you’re mine,

it seems like you’re mine but not

It feels like I’m yours, it seems like

I’m yours but not. Don’t just laugh

like you don’t know and stop this now,

be real with me. Don’t put me in your

heart and look elsewhere

Why don’t you stop acting like

you don’t know when you do know?

As I laid my head on his chest, listening to the soft rhythms of his heartbeat, I wondered: Where do I stand in his heart?

I glanced at him. He was staring out of the windows, deep in thought as he scrunched up his nose a little. It was his habit whenever he thought about something earnestly and it was so adorable to me. I sighed languidly before he turned his attention back to me.

“What were you thinking about?”

“Nothing.”

And that was that. I knew he didn’t want to talk about it.

“Do you love me?” I timidly whispered, as silence followed. I knew what his answer would be. He never did answer my question whenever I voiced it out and he would always try to avoid the subject. Although he never said anything about his uality before, I didn’t dare question him as I knew that it would hurt me instead.

My heart clenched and I shifted away from him. Why does it hurt so much loving him?

Don’t give excuses that you’re

tired but hurry and tell me, I love you

“I guess I do.”

Finally I'm done. Please pardon my grammar and I hope you liked it even though it . I had a major writer's block so yeah it turned out quite crappy and not up to my expectations.