The autumn wind that was blown

in through the window

That flits past the empty heart

Leaning against the wall that is

turning cold

Looking into the faraway

brightening morning sky

Even if I miss you, I cannot walk

closer

I must leave your side now

My pair of lonely eyes

That was once alone

You who gave me a long and

heartwarming love

Leaving your side now

Maybe I will regret

But I am doing because I love you

Only love you

Even if I cannot forget

I can only erase you away from the

sorrow

Under the dazzling sunlight

People walking on the road, smiling

But I can only feel the coldness of

the autumn sky

The whole world seems unfamiliar

Even if I love you

But I have to leave

This moment right now is too

suffocating

It will fade away, I understand

The tears that fell from the corner

of your eyes

And even if I bring only hurt to

you

You will understand my true heart

one day

Leaving your side now

Maybe I will regret

But I am doing because I love you

Only love you

Even if I cannot forget

I can only erase you away from the

sorrow

Leaving your side now

Maybe I will regret

But I am doing because I love you

Only love you

Even if I cannot forget

Dear you, goodbye

Changmin P.O.V

I watched the tall slim girl who just entered the building along with the other 8 girls. They look so happy and cheerful this morning I bet its either Hyoyeon or Sunny sharing their gag joke or they are teasing one of another.

The smile that I missed to see every morning when I wake up or even before I slept now only can be seen from far. I am lucky enough SM gave us this exclusive V.I.P studio to us the money maker, the money printed machine or the fans known us as King of SM Town. The glass studio which located on the 7^th floor make us able to see anyone who entered the Idol’s Area but they cant seen us thru the glass.

I keep watching she walking and unconsciously I touch the glass the spot where I believe I touch her. How pathetic am I right now, watching her from the tinted glass and even touching the reflection of her. What the hell is happening to me?

I close my eyes and take a deep breath as I try to control myself from doing something stupid once again like before. Answering a phone call that I never supposed to answer after what had happen between us.

And once I decide to open my eyes, the 9 girls has gone I bet to their studio for a practice of their comeback. I turn myself, leaning against the glass before slowly I slide myself down to the floor, chuckling sadly before I found myself crying.

I miss her so much and I don’t know how I can survived with this painful this day holding myself from telling her how much I miss her, show her how much I love her and tell her what I have planned for us in future.

Damn I cant go close to her to tell all that.

Shim Changmin, you are loser. You the one who let her go so stop crying stop weeping and dreaming she will come back to you. Choi sooyoung will never ever come back to you. You hurt her so badly and deeply.

Yes, I let her go for the sake of the person I love the most. Yunho and Jaejoong hyung who I love them so much as same I love her. These 2 men who always by my side when I had a dark moment in my life the most traumatize experience I have. They treat me just like a parents treat their son indeed they spoil me to the best.

As I grew up, I saw how hard for them surviving all the test from everyone for their love. I know jaejoong hyung almost gave up the moment he decide to leave us here but he not when once again they destined show them the way and now they are husband and wife. I bet if jaejoong hyung know they being target he will once again leave yunho and indeed the world.

And when the management call me for the help, I never think twice to do it for my hyung and like President Lee say it save my hoobae carrier as well. So I let her go as she agree with me to tell the world she were dating her own church senior which never happen.

I thought I was easy to let her go but I was wrong. To let a person who you love the most is hard. A person who loved you, a person who care for you, a person who see you as yourself it’s the most difficult thing it just like asking you to jump from a cliff.

Hell yes people say to forget a person you loved the most is just like asking you to remember a face you never met. Or they say to fall in love it take a moment but to forget the person you love will take forever.

Choi sooyoung, I cant forget your smile, your smell, your body warmth neither yourself.

I wiped my tears which never failed to stop whenever I think about her as I take out a velvet box from my pocket. The silver couple ring still there just like how I take from the jewelry shop. I supposed to propose her on her birthday. In a month of valentine the month full of love but this time I can only feel a painful and a coldness.

Choi Sooyoung, I know one day I will regret my decision but I am doing this because I love you so much. I still remembered how happy you are when the team approved your song to be included in The Boys album. I still can tell how excited you are when they gave you the Cryno Agency lead actress role to you. You always told me how much you jealous over me when I can have my own solo or how much you wish you want to be in a movie.

So maybe this way one day all your dream may come true baby. I will wait to listen more beautiful lyrics from you or I will watched you in some drama like Yeonhee or Yoona. And I will cheer for you like crazy ahjussi fans for you when you have your own solo.

 I love you so much Choi Sooyoung please forgive me for keep hurting you and make you cry. I will leave now even I wish the moment we finished our contract we can announced to the world we will getting married.  I do hope in one fine day you will understand why am I doing this and even if you not coming back to me but I do hope you can forgive me.

“Soo~~saranghae…” and that the last words come out from my mouth before I close my eyes for sleep, holding the red velvet box in my hand.

Okkkkkkk…..here u go….kkkk
isn’t it so angst??lol…sorry if it not…
oh btw major sorry if I include tooooo long of yunjae thingy…but I do believe u all need to know…
especially those who read all 3 series…kkkkk
syana1—thank you for keep read my changsoo
sunflower_ilike  -- hopefully this is the best as you expected dear…

Tbh I don’t know him so its hard for me to say I accept him in k-pop but
   who am I to judge Sooyoung life? After all one day we might facing this
   I mean no one understand our decision

Michelle --- thank you if u read it breath too….i hope this one is alright too

I hope I will keep writing changsoo..they are my bias…kkk…btw I am wondering if you all sone, I do write changfanny too…