Chapter 3

Taeyeon

"Girl, stop thinking.”

My head jerks up and my gorgeous best friend is dressed to impress with her skinny jeans, black high boots and a red sweater, 

“Hi to you too sunshine.”

She takes my latte and sits down, “Yeah yeah. Alright what’s going on?”

I give her my death stare as she drinks my latte, “Nothing! I wanted to see you and catch up.”

I want to tell her more about Sehun but it feels weird to talk about him. I’m not sure if any of this means anything. He’s probably just being nice.

“Bull.” She rolls her eyes at me. 

“I know something’s up with you so tell me.”

I sigh. I knew she wouldn’t let this go and get me to talk. “Alright so you remember Sehun right?”

“Yeah, mr hot Oh Sehun,” My body tenses again when she says his name.

“Yeah him, well, I can’t stop thinking about him Jess. I dream about him at night and freeze every time he’s near me. I can’t focus at all and ugh!”

Why is this so hard?

 “And get this? He was walking behind me earlier and said hey to me! I almost died!”

Jessica slaps my arm and nearly falls out of her chair. “What the hell did you say back to him?”

I look away from her, “Nothing,” I mumble.

“Huh? Talk! Louder!” She enunciates her words.

“Nothing,” I shriek and then put my hands over my face to hide my humiliation.

Jessica bursts out laughing. I yank my latte back. I can’t believe she’s laughing at me. I know I should have said something instead of standing there but she isn’t making me feel any better.

 “You said nothing, oh Tae.”

I roll my eyes. “You’re not making me feel better.” I play with my latte cup and keep my eyes on the ground. 

“Thanks for making me feel better!”

She takes my hand and looks at me. 

“Babe, I love you so much but you’re a riot. Why do I feel like something else is going on with you?” She looks at me with question in her eyes. I look away from her,

 “Oh no Taeyeon! Tell me what’s going on!”

I roll my eyes.

"I don’t know if I want to be with GD anymore. Things right now. All we do is fight and he’s an .” 

I sigh and lean back in my chair. 

“I don’t know Jess. I mean we fight a lot and he gets mad when I don’t want to go out. I like to stay away from the party scene and he hasn’t grown up, he is still a partier. He’s different behind closed doors when we’re alone."

“Aww Tae, I’m sorry. Have you tried talking to him?”

“No,” I look down at my hands.

“He doesn’t like to talk about anything. He wants to take our relationship to the next level but I’m not ready! He’s been staying out late and coming back drunk. I hate how he treats me. He’s always mad about something. It’s always my fault!”

Jessica gets up and walks over to me. She sits down again and looks me in the eyes. 

“I want you to be happy Tae because you deserve nothing but the best. If you are feeling ty with GD then leave him.”

She rubs my hand. Talking to Jessica makes me a little better but I’m still lost. 

“Taeyeon I know I joke around a lot about you being a but don’t sleep with him if you aren’t ready. If you want to break up then do it. I hate seeing you like this. You’re my best friend and I want what’s best for you. I’m always here for you.”

“It’s not that easy Jess. I’ve tried breaking up with him but he keeps saying sorry.”

Last week when I tried to break up with GD, he broke down and cried. He said how sorry he was for what happened. He said things would get better. I believed him. That night, he took me for ice cream and was affectionate. He paid attention and listened to me. I told him that I wanted things to work but that I wanted us to be better. He told me he understood and I believed him. We spent the night in my room laughing and reminiscing about how we met and started dating. Things were great. But the next night, he went out partying and came back drunk. He wanted to have but I said no so he asked me to his . At first I said no because he was drunk. He got mad and said if I loved him, making him happy should be a priority. So I gave him a and I hated it. The pressure from his hands on my head, forcing me to go deeper didn’t feel right. When he came in my mouth I tried spitting it up. He told me I’d regret it so I swallowed. Afterwards, he fell asleep and left me lying there. The next morning he asked me if I was ok. I didn’t want to start an argument so I just smiled and said I loved him.

She puts me out at arms lengths and looks at me.

"So what if he says sorry! If he were sorry then he wouldn’t be an . You got to do you, babe.”

I look at my best friend and think about what to do next.