It was only my first day in Seonghwa High School. I guess everything just started unfolding by then...

“Cheon Namji,” the teacher called out to the class, but no one was answering. The students all looked at each other, asking about the whereabouts of the missing student.

“Here!”

A shout was heard from the doorway, which was from a girl in disheveled school uniform, her tied ponytail in complete mess.

“Sorry for being late, Seonsaeng-nim!” she immediately bowed to the teacher.

“Well, don’t worry, Namji-yang. It’s your first day in this school, isn’t it?”

“Ah, guess so...”

“So it’s okay to be late on your first day of class. But next time, please be on time,” the teacher said to Namji before pointing at the empty seat at the back on the second row. “You can sit there, it’s still vacant.”

“Thank you, Seonsaeng-nim.” Namji bowed again to the teacher and moved to sit on the empty seat.

“Okay, now we’ll go on with the lesson about history of Hangeul...”

First lesson, Korean history. Second lesson, PE. Third, physics. I hated physics. But what could I do? Such lesson was included in the curriculum. I decided to try my best, but you can expect nothing extraordinary from that.

When Namji entered the third period, a sight of blue hair caught her attention almost immediately. A schoolboy was sitting at the back on the row next to hers, and he had striking blue hair to complete his look. His face was kind of cute, as Namji would think, but as he kept on looking outside towards the window, he looked rather sad.

Still, Namji shouldn’t be affected by a student with weird looks around the block, even though she wondered how the guy could have gotten his hair dyed like that when everyone else kept their natural black hair according to the school rules. She casually took her seat, and grabbed the physics book that she dreaded the most out of her bag, sighing in the process.

“Ah, you must hate that book so much, right?”

An airy voice was heard, and she turned to the blue-haired boy, who fixed his stare at her. Once she turned though, he looked a little bit surprised, and Namji felt somewhat surprised too. He broke the eye contact first, before resuming reading his book.

Namji also turned to her book, opening the page slowly, as her thought started to wonder.

What a cute pretty boy…

What a cute pretty boy, I had thought. He looked so surreal, with his blue hair framing his small face. His eyes were big, so much like those of puppies. Well, when I thought of him again, he really did look like a puppy. He was the perfect, cute, pretty boy. But, there was something off about him.

“So I need you guys to make just a short paper of the topic of today, which is about Newton’s gravity law. Just give an example and make an explanation based on the law. You only need to write one to two pages, and you can do it in pairs.”

As the students heard the teacher’s instruction, they all groaned at the same time. But as Namji turned to see the blue-haired student, he didn’t look one bit disappointed about this. He looked… strangely enthusiastic.

“Now, now, don’t complain about this. You can do it, since I don’t ask for so many pages…”

“Hey, new student!”

The voice was heard again and Namji turned to the blue-haired student.

“Have you gotten a partner?”

“Who, me?” Namji asked, rather surprised at the question.

“Yeah, who else am I asking to?”

“Well…” Namji looked around the other students, none of which she had gotten any closer with. They were rather busy with their own world.

“That means you haven’t got one, I believe. Come on, partner up with me.”

“Ah…” Namji was suddenly worried. He seemed like the type of a guy who’d be idolized by a lot of girls in the school, what with the whole pretty look tampered on his face. Girls like this kind of guys these days, she knew. But it would be a chance for her to make some friends, since she hadn’t got anyone so far. And so far, he was the only one who started any conversation with her.

“You don’t want to? Well, I guess I can find another—”

“No, I want to,” Namji answered in a rush. She suddenly thought about how she’d look so red this time, and she didn’t even know why she was like this, was it because she thought of him as a cute pretty—

“Cool. Meet me at the library tomorrow during lunch break.”

The bell rang and the boy stood up, ready to leave, when Namji held him by the arm.

“You…you haven’t told me your name.”

The boy looked at her and smirked. Namji hadn’t known what to think at this moment.

To say that it was malicious would be technically incorrect. But I knew he had something up his sleeves.

Lee Suwoong was a very popular guy, indeed very popular. A lot of girls liked his cute, pretty face, and his efficiency in physics was unlike any other. He was somehow, perfect. The moment when I saw something beyond his perfection, was the moment the china broke into pieces.

Namji rushed into the library, and went straight to the collection of science books. At the end of the shelves, she saw the blue-haired student in the corner of the library, reading a terribly thick book with the big words ‘Newton’s Apple’ printed gold on the cover.

“Oh, you came.” Suwoong put aside the book that he was reading, and patted the spot next to his. Namji sat down there as she looked at the books scattering around them. Just what were these…

“So, I have an idea. It is to measure how long it will take for someone to fall from the library’s top floor to the ground.”

In an instant, Namji’s eyes grew wide, and she looked at Suwoong, who looked just like the first time she saw him, with that sad face like a kicked puppy. But as fast as it came, he grinned at her and dismissed what he said.

“It was a joke. You looked so scared just now, it was so funny!”

“Hey…you don’t say such thing so lightly, you know!”

“Well, sorry. Now shall we pick what… apple is too mainstream, how about a big boulder?”

They kept on discussing about their project, scrabbling on papers after papers, and finally came to a conclusion.

“So if a human pushes the boulder from a cliff it would land on exactly five seconds?”

“It’s 30-meter-high cliff, anyway.”

“Ah…” Namji looked at the scribbled papers and felt weird all of the sudden. She never felt this passionate about physics. Yet, as she worked on the paper with Suwoong, she felt compelled to find out the solution to the problem, the answer to the question.

“Well, we’re finished. Just need to type them out before submitting it! Yay!”

Namji threw her hands in the air, but then she went back to being shy when she remembered that Suwoong was still there.

“You remind me of someone,” he suddenly said.

“Who? Me?” Namji asked, pointing at herself.

“Well…” He started scratching his head.

“Of who?”

“Of…”

“Of…?”

“…Of my fans.”

Namji, who had been expecting the answer immediately, flattened out her expression. “I thought it was someone really close to you, and you said I look like your fans? Look, you may seem like a guy who has girls lined up behind you, but still—”

He suddenly laughed, which made Namji look at him in disbelief.

“You just look so cute when you’re angry,” he explained later.

I didn’t know whether to take it as a compliment or something else. But that was what I wanted to say to him too, you look so cute when you laugh, you look like a prince when reading books, you look like an alien being when the sun shines upon your figure. You look like something that's not supposed to exist in this planet.

If I were to say such thing, perhaps, he would’ve said something.

“Okay, now that our lesson is over, it’s time to submit your assignment.” The teacher then looked at the students one by one putting their papers on his desk. After no one else seemed to be submitting, he smiled at the students and said, “See you in the next class.”

He took his bag and the papers from the students back to his office, and he checked them all right away, but hadn’t got the intention to score them yet.

“Kim Jihyun and Song Yoonjae… Heo Yoonseok and Ryu Taehyun… Kim Misook and Oh Inhye… Cheon Namji and…”

He looked at the name written beside Cheon Namji’s name. His brows furrowed in confusion, and something occurred to him, something that he was supposed to forget, but never did.

“Is this a prank or something?” he asked to himself, putting away the questionable paper, resuming checking the other papers.

Could I sense if I were in trouble?

Being all innocent and doing everything without knowing what would happen… I’d blame it on him again for this. But it wasn’t all his fault. He was too miserable. Even though he was a popular guy, he was a miserable guy all the same.

They did say that people like idols on TV got to live the most miserable lives. Perhaps it was the same for him as well.

“Seonsaeng-nim? What made you call me to your office?”

“Cheon Namji,” the teacher chillingly called her name. “With whom did you make your paper?”

“Paper? You mean the one we submitted yesterday?”

“Yes.”

“Didn’t I write his name correctly? I worked on it with—”

“Namji-yang,” the teacher said again, looking straight into the student’s eyes. “We don’t have any student who goes by the name Lee Suwoong in our class.”

“What? But how?”

“That’s what I want to ask you.”

“But he’s clearly sitting next to my seat! And he’s got this bright blue hair! You can’t possibly miss that guy!”

The teacher suddenly went silent, and looked at her sharply.

“You might want to redo this again, but you have to do it alone. I’m giving you time to redo it until the next class.”

“But—”

“There’s no but, Namji-yang, or else, I’ll give you a zero.”

Namji felt herself losing the argument, and excused herself from the office. She wandered around the school, just thinking how such thing could happen. How could the teacher say that Suwoong was not there? She clearly saw him over there, at the edge of the rooftop of the library, the black cloud gathering around the sky as if foreshadowing that something bad would happen…

“Suwoong!”

Namji quickly ran inside the library, rushing to the elevator to take her to the top floor.

When I thought about it, it was plain weird.

Lee Suwoong did not exist, at least not in my time.

So when did he exist if not then?

Once reaching the rooftop, the rain already came down like crazy. Namji could only see Suwoong’s back figure in a blur, but at least she knew he was there.

“Suwoong!” she tried to scream his name out loud, but the roaring rain overpowered her voice. She could barely hear her own voice, but she swore that he was tilting towards the empty air ahead of him.

“Suwoong!”

She heard someone else shouting his name, but the voice belonged to a man and it was…the physics teacher?

“What are you doing over there? Stay away from there!” the teacher continued whilst trying to come closer to the blue-haired boy through the heavy rain.

As he finally held Suwoong’s hand, he pulled the boy slightly away from the edge, making them now stand face to face.

And Namji could see how Suwoong’s face express such sadness that she remembered the first time she saw him.

“Hyung…remember just a few weeks ago everyone was all saying how they all see me as the student model and suddenly they treat me like a trash?”

They both stayed silent, but Namji could think how the teacher’s expression must look like. He must be taken aback by his words.

“How could our father do such crime that makes our whole reputation tarnished? How about you, Hyung? Does anyone treat you the way they treat me? Do you feel the hurt? Do you experience all the pain?”

“Suwoong, I—”

“I don’t want to stay in this school anymore! At least, promise me that you’ll take me somewhere far away from here.”

“I—”

“You will, won’t you?”

“I’d— I’d do it, if you want to stay away from this school. We can go to auntie’s place. Yeah, I think that’d be the best place for us to go now.”

The teacher let go of Suwoong’s hand. The blue-haired boy looked like in tears, even though there was no reassurance that he really cried, because of the rain that could possibly cover up his tears, even though the drops from the cloud already started to die down for a bit. But suddenly he started closing his eyes, and his body fell back to the empty air below and…

“Suwoong!” Namji screamed out loud as she ran towards the edge of the building, but it was too late. When she looked down below, she could see the small figure lying on his back, with blood starting to pool around his head.

Her legs started to weaken as she sat down on the floor and started to cry at the horrifying scene. But after a while, she realized that someone was there next to her, but it wasn’t the teacher.

It was Suwoong, with a sad look on his face that was starting to get into Namji’s nerves.

“Who are you?” Namji asked in a small voice, still in complete shock. “No…what are you?”

Silence was the one that replied to her answer, and she didn’t feel satisfied at all. She felt afraid to ask more, but she wanted to know the truth.

“I am Lee Suwoong,” he started. “Five years ago, I was the guy that everyone in the school liked. They liked me because I was handsome and also smart. I was the student model. Even when I dyed my hair blue, no one ever talked bad about me, instead, a lot of girls found me much more cute and handsome.”

Namji wanted to roll her eyes at the self-complimentary speech, but before she could do so, Suwoong continued to talk.

“That was until my father was convicted of and murder of his own wife, and two other women whom he had met who know where. He was such a brutal being; he was not even a human, not to anyone. Not to me, not to my brother, not to everyone else.

He was the only one who was supposed to get the punishment of what he had done. But ever since that incident happened, everyone in the school didn’t act the same way anymore.

I could remember clearly that whenever I passed by the school hallway, the students around me would start talking in hushed voices behind my back. A few guys who dared to come to me had beaten me up on a daily basis. Basically, my status had gone downhill from then. I was not the student model anymore. I was their bullying object.

When I became fed up with all of it, I ran off to this rooftop, and had considered committing suicide by jumping off here. But I couldn’t bring myself to do so, and I had gone back here for several times to push myself to do it, but nothing happened.

Until that day when my brother came to stop me, I had resolved in not doing it long before he arrived here. But I had a fever at that time, and my body felt somewhat numb as I stood there by the edge. I suddenly felt like it’d be the end.

Indeed, as I felt my fever knocking me down, that was the end.”

Upon hearing the story, Namji felt saddened. How could a person live that kind of life? She looked up at Suwoong, whose gaze was fixed on the sky. The rain was getting lighter and the sky looked slightly brighter, with a few dark clouds already off the sight.

“My condolences,” Namji spoke softly. Her voice even sounded like how she felt at the moment, she thought.

That made Suwoong smile, though. He turned to look at her, and she noticed that his eyes still looked sullen.

“But, you see, my brother still thinks it was his fault.”

Namji’s eyes widened slightly, as she thought back to her physics teacher.

“I know that he had a lot of regret when he saw me dying in front of his eyes. He would think that he should’ve stayed holding my hand and dragged me back into the building first before letting it go at that moment. But it was not his fault. It was meant to happen.”

He closed his eyes briefly while sighing. He didn’t look all that sad anymore when he opened his eyes. He looked more like annoyed now.

“Come to think of it, my death was silly. Because of a fever. Yeah right. But that’s exactly what I wanted to make straight. I’d love to say, ‘Hyung, it wasn’t your fault. I had a fever then, and fainted and then fell just like that. You didn’t have time to hold me because it happened a bit too fast, even for my liking.’ I tried to say that to him so many times already, but I’m dead. I’m just a spirit. He can’t see me, that’s for sure. But that doesn’t mean I’ll give up. That’s why I always attend his classes. When I met you, I thought it would be the perfect chance to say it to him. So I asked you to do the assignment together.”

“The assignment?” Namji shook her head in disbelief. “But he thought I was playing pranks on him. He told me to make a new one on my own. I don’t even know if he was angry or what because your name is on it.”

“Well, I guess I’m sorry about that. But I hope that doesn’t mean you won’t help me anymore, because I do need it now.”

Lee Suwoong was a miserable guy. He led a twisted life, and died silly. That was what he had told me. To think that he was the most miserable guy on the planet would be wrong, because a lot of other people lived much more miserable life than his. But since that was what he thought, let’s just leave it the way it is.

Asking for a help would be something common to everyone, even to ghosts. People will say, “Hey, are you crazy or something?” when I said that I helped a ghost before, but that’s just people. They’ll judge what you do or what you think, if you happen to say it out loud. So I can safely assume that was what happened to him. He was judged, and that made him think he was the most miserable guy on the planet.

The moral lesson? Don’t let people judge you, just pretend that you’re deaf and do whatever you want to do.

The physics teacher stayed behind other teachers who decided to go back home early. He wanted to check the students’ work first, but the work that belonged to Cheon Namji did bother him a lot.

When he felt his curiosity beat him, he grabbed the paper and started looking through it.

It seemed to be like everyone’s work, only she used a big boulder and a cliff to demonstrate Newton’s gravity law. As he read the paper, he noticed something on one of the paragraph, explaining how Newton’s gravity law worked on the example.

It’s the gravity, as Newton has theorized, which makes the big boulder landed on the cliff with
fine speed. Using human force, it would result in the boulder falling more slowly, but even if
it’s enforced by something that moves faster, it will reach the ground even faster. So, if it
wasn’t gravity, the mass of the boulder will be able to fly itself to the sky. Try to think if you push with
your own hands, the boulder will fall into the ground down below. We wouldn’t know if there’s any
fault or loophole on the theory, but it has been proven to be true until now.

“It’s fine…it wasn't…your fault?” the teacher read the first words lining up on the paragraph. He widened his eyes in disbelief. “Is it really you…Suwoong-ah?”

There was suddenly a knock on the door, making him startled. He tried to catch up with his breath, before saying, “Come in.”

When the door opened, Namji was the one that appeared behind the door.

“Can I come in, Seonsaeng-nim?”

“Uh…yes,” the teacher answered hesitantly. She entered the room, and her left hand seemed to be a bit stiff, slightly lifted in the air.

“What makes you come here, Namji-yang?”

“Uh…it’s Suwoong…” she hesitantly replied, as she looked at the hand she was holding. Then she looked up, seeing the blue-haired boy fixing his stare at his brother.

Upon hearing her reply though, the teacher widened his eyes. “What did you just say?”

“He…has something to say to you,” Namji hurriedly replied, and sent a look at Suwoong to start talking.

“Did he read the paper?” he asked instead.

Namji turned to look at the teacher’s desk, and it was their paper that was wide-opened on it.

“You’ve read the paper, Seonsaeng-nim? He said he left a message over there.”

The teacher looked more surprised, as he reached to close the paper and put it away.

“How did you—”

“I’m telling you, it wasn’t your fault, Hyung,” Suwoong said firmly, cutting off any conversation that was going on. Namji looked in wonder at the teacher, because he suddenly stopped talking as if he could hear Suwoong’s voice.

“It really wasn’t your fault. I had a fever then and was knocked unconscious. Neither you nor I knew that it was going to happen. None of us knew. It was an accident, a silly one. So will you stop blaming yourself for my death and start living your life more peacefully?”

No one said anything for a minute. But then, the teacher sighed and had his head down. He fixed his gaze on his own shoes.

“But…I could’ve held your hand before you fall. I could’ve done something… But I was just stunned there, watching you fall, not doing anything. I…I…”

The teacher then started crying, but Namji was gaping. Suwoong could finally let himself to be heard to his brother. Then, after that, she felt like crying too.

“But I never blamed you for that. You’re the one who keep doing the blaming. And that makes me unable to move on from here, Hyung. Even though I don’t want to admit it, that part is your fault. I’m tired of being here, trying to make you forgive yourself. Now that I got the chance to talk to you directly, I hope you now know what I want and do exactly like I wish you to do.”

The teacher fell down to his knees. Suwoong let go of Namji’s hand and also kneeled before him, trying to get a hold of his brother’s shoulder. He felt like he’d also break down and cry, but he wouldn’t let himself do so.

“Hyung, will you…do as I said before? Please, this is my last request.”

The teacher cried even more, but Namji could see that he was nodding through her blurry sight. She also tried to hold her tears, but a drop slipped away, and not too long, her tears burst out from her glassy eyes.

I…well…to think that he was the most miserable guy would probably be true at that time. Because then, I never saw anyone so miserable like him before. But whatever he said, it was true. I felt pity for him. I felt remorse. I felt sorrow. I just felt for him.

Namji opened his eyes upon hearing her alarm bell ring. She shut it down before getting ready for school.

Once she reached school, she walked to her class. Everything just looked the same as before. Then she thought to herself, of course it was. She was only there for a week. Nothing would change a lot.

Except now the empty seat beside her was completely empty now. She never saw anyone sitting over there anymore, not even any student with blue hair.

“Cheon Namji,” the teacher called out, returning the physics assignment she had made a week ago. She smiled knowingly at the man, deeply thankful that he canceled his decision on forcing her to make a new assignment in replacement to the one she was holding.

She looked at the cover, where it still had Lee Suwoong’s name on it.

She thought back on the day when he finally disappeared.

He asked me to meet on the rooftop of the library, and he just said something silly over there. He liked me, he said. I didn’t know in what way he said he liked me, but most of all, he felt thankful, grateful for my help in convincing his brother to forgive himself. Then he went on with silly things to say and suddenly, he told me to close my eyes. I asked him for what, but he said he was going to give a surprise to me. So I closed my eyes.

Suwoong looked at Namji, who still kept her eyes closed. He smiled at her, and his eyes didn’t look somber anymore. Instead, he looked rather bright and happy for the first time in forever.

He then reached out to peck her on her forehead.

I closed my eyes for a long time, but there was nothing happening. Then I started asking, what are you going to do, Suwoong-ah? Can I open my eyes now? But there was no answer. I was going to get mad at him or something when I opened my eyes after getting impatient, but what I found was nothing. Nothing. He was nowhere to be found. And then I cried again.

“Lee Suwoong!” Namji screamed. “You are the worst, you know! The worst!”

She wiped the tears from her eyes angrily, but finally came to realization that she had to accept. He was gone, and he was gone for good.

To say that I liked Lee Suwoong was an understatement. He used to be the guy that every girl wanted, after all. When he said that I reminded him of his fans, it was true as well. I was one of those girls who wanted him. But to think that he might also like me then… I've never seen any of the signs. That’s why I don’t believe that. But if he really liked me, at least give me a sign. At least, let me know of it… before you disappeared.

“Ah, here it is!” a female student exclaimed as she took out a book from the shelves. The book’s title was Newton’s Apple, printed in gold letter.

“Ah, finally. Let’s go back to the librarian desk to borrow it,” a male student said as he started to walk away.

“Wait! Who wrote this? ‘천남지 사랑해’*?” She closed the book and returned it to the shelves.

“Hey! Why did you return that?” the male student asked frantically when he saw her return the book.

“I don’t want to borrow that! Someone wrote some childish stuff in there!”

“But it’s the only copy of Newton’s Apple in the library! Come on, let’s just borrow it.” The male student took the book, and held her hand, dragging her back to the librarian’s desk.

“Hey!”

*천남지 사랑해 = I love you, Cheon Namji (as you guys might have thought haha)

Oh and the whole Newton paper thing was completely written with no thoughts put into it whatsoever. OTL

Thank you for reading~