Yongguk bit his lip after he ended the phone call and carefully walked over to Himchan, who was staring out into the distance, mumbling to himself. He sat down beside him on the porch and wrapped an arm around the other, breathing out shakily.

This wasn’t what he had expected when Himchan had called him earlier, telling him to come over because he had done something bad. Yongguk had tried to ask him what it was, but his boyfriend had only repeated those same words over and over and eventually he had simply made his way there, an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach the entire time.

He had arrived at Himchan’s home to find the other outside, trembling and confused, rambling nonsense, until his eyes had suddenly widened and his hands gripped Yongguk’s jacket.

“I hurt them,” he had choked out, tears threatening to escape as he sank down and continued murmuring to himself. Yongguk had tried hard to ignore it, feeling more than uncomfortable by this point and oddly relieved when Himchan had let go of him. Swallowing hard, he had stepped inside the house, only to see something he wished he never had and knew he’d never forget.

As he now stared at the other, it was difficult to picture him doing something so terrible and violent. Though, to be honest, it was difficult no matter what, because Himchan was a generally kind person and he couldn’t imagine what had made him snap like this. Part of his brain was telling him to get away, it wasn’t safe, but he ignored it stubbornly. Himchan wasn’t dangerous, certainly not now, and he needed someone, he needed comfort. Guilt and confusion were clear from his posture and his continued mumbles, and Yongguk refused to leave him to deal with this alone.

In the distance was the sound of sirens, but it would only be a matter of time before they’d get closer and take Himchan away from him. The thought was almost too much to bear. Logically, he knew it was meant to happen and he knew Himchan needed punishment for what he had done or at the very least some professional help, because even to an outsider it must be obvious he wasn’t in his normal state of mind. But the idea of him being gone, being questioned, being scared and alone… Yongguk hated it.

He pulled Himchan closer and pressed a kiss to his hair, noticing that his boyfriend had grown still and quiet, eyes wide and unfocused. Perhaps he was in shock. That would certainly make sense, considering…

Yongguk inhaled sharply and forced Himchan to bury his face in his neck, not wanting anyone to see him yet, not until he could gauge what the reaction of the police officers would be. He didn’t want them to yell at the other and scare him further. He didn’t want them to think Himchan was a bad person, although he knew they probably would. If he didn’t know him, he might think the same.

Two ambulances and three police cars stopped on the road in front of them, people slowly coming from their homes to see what was going on. Yongguk held Himchan’s head down to protect him from the stares.

One cop stopped in front of them, everyone else heading inside. She asked him if he had been the one to make the call, what his relation to the victims was and what had happened from his point of view, her eyes flickering over to Himchan curiously as she did so. Yongguk contemplated lying, but before he could open his mouth, Himchan spoke up again.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered as he lifted his head, wiping away new tears.

“For what?” the police officer asked politely. Behind her, Yongguk could see another officer putting up tape around the house in an attempt to keep outsiders away and he suddenly realised this was a crime scene now.

Beside him, Himchan looked up at the cop so miserably Yongguk wanted nothing more than to take him back in his arms. “I hurt them,” he replied softly. “I didn’t want to.”

She was going to ask more questions, Yongguk could tell, but someone else showed up before she had the chance to do so. The newcomer spoke quietly, but Yongguk heard enough and he could fill in the rest. Two victims, both female, possibly related. Dead. The female cop gestured at Himchan with her head, but Yongguk couldn’t make out what she was saying. Not that he needed to.

He took Himchan’s hand in his until he was taken from him and placed in the back of a police car. Yongguk had barely been able to understand what was going on, not even sure he wanted to know. He had, however, kissed Himchan on the lips sweetly before they had been able to drag him away and promised him he’d meet him at the station, although he wasn’t sure his boyfriend had actually registered anything that was going on. That was okay, though. He’d still be there.

It wasn’t until Himchan’s dad appeared and asked him what the hell was going on that it truly hit him. And he finally broke down.