❛ Kiss  of   the  Fog❜

Reviewed by: Infinityjong

Title -  (8/10) 
I like the title. It sounds interesting and kind of seductive due to the “kiss” part of the title. It suits your story and is relevant. Its mysterious nature intrigues readers to want to read your story. 

Characterization - (8/10)
I enjoy Himchan’s character because he is sometimes hilarious and seductive. He is also very mysterious and in every chapter, we somehow find out something new about him. He is also flawed which makes him a realistic character. 
Overall:
Your characters need to be further developed as we still do not know much about them. However, I understand that it is only the start of your story. But, I look forward to further progression of your characters.  I’m sure they would be great characters with proper development. 

Setting  -  (7/10) 
I can imagine roughly of places that the events take place. However, you do lack in describing places like the bar, the street in which Himchan walked in or even the park he was in for just a short while. Nonetheless, your description of your setting was sufficient but it could be done better. 

Problem/ Conflict  -  (7/10) 
Problems that are faced by Himchan are not many, other than his meeting with Yongguk and this “imprisonment” he had before. I am assuming as the story progresses you would explain more about the reasons behind this imprisonment. I understand that you did briefly explain it before but I don’t think it’s enough. Bringing in snippets of his memories during imprisonment would be good too. Regarding his problem with Yongguk, it is perfectly understandable due to Himchan’s character. After all, he is quite hot-headed. 

Organization  -  (19/20) 
I find your story well organized and the flow is good. Your timings are perfect as the story does not feel too fast or slow. Well done for this sector. I enjoyed your fight scene quite a lot. It brings our both Himchan’s and Yongguk’s character even more. Good job. Since this is preactically the start of your story, it is pretty enjoyable for exposition (Knowing more about Himchan and the world the story is set in) and rising action (Himchan meeting Yongguk).

Illustrations  -  (9/10) 
The poster is beautiful. I cannot say enough to praise the shop that has done it. Since it is a gif, the fog moving in the poster was simply beautiful and portrayed you main character so well, as he is after all, a god who controls fog. However so, I didn’t really like the font used. 
[Please note that this is my personal opinion]
Your background is not distracting

Conventions (Grammar and Spelling)   -   (10/20) 
The writer has made several errors in this component. Several obvious mistakes are shown below.

                   Example 1:
                        “Why he did such nasty things to ruin women’s pride?” 
                   Correction:
                        "Why did he do such nasty things to ruin women’s pride

         When phrasing a question, the subject is placed after the auxiliary. In this case, the auxiliary would be “did” and the subject would be “he”. 

                   Example 2:
                         “However, different times came and he couldn’t do the way he wanted anymore.”
                   Correction
                         "However, times have changed and he couldn’t do it the way he wanted anymore."

         This is an example of awkward phrasing. 

                   Example 3:

                          “As the fog became ticker around him and hid the flashing stars on the sky he looked twenty floors down, finding a pretty girl who was                                 unlocking the building doors. 
                   Correction:
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