He was there walking right beside me. I know that I shouldn’t be like this. I know that I shouldn’t feel this way. But out of the years that we were together, I can’t hold back these feelings that I have for him. Fifteen years. That’s right. We’ve been in the group together for fifteen years already and I have been in love with him ever since our debut.

Oh-chan has been the quiet but there were times that he made fun of me, which made me laugh. Now, we’re to perform in Music Station and I’ve been anxious ever since we’ve been practicing for our performance. We had to practice our steps for only a few hours and he’s the one that thought out the steps that we’re to perform. He’s such a creative performer and it’s one of his qualities that I fell in love with.

“Nino,” Satoshi called out, breaking him from his reverie.

“Hai?” Nino answered, trying to clear his thoughts.

“We’re almost finished. Are you ready to get out now?”

“Yes,” he replied.

All of the members of Arashi were wearing white suits, with touches of black here and there. As they were called by the hosts of Music Station, Nino tried his best to recover from his thoughts and went back to reality. He walked beside Masaki to help him relax his nerves.

Masaki sensed that Nino was not feeling well that he patted Nino’s back as to make his friend feel better. Nino looked at Masaki and saw his friend’s smile. He couldn’t help but smile back to Masaki and feel better. Thankfully, his pet-loving friend’s smile was very infectious. Nino mouthed an ‘arigatou’ to his friend and felt well again.

~***~

Unison Square Garden was now playing on the stage. Everyone’s eyes were on the stage as the band played and sang. Arashi was just waiting to be interviewed. Sho was sitting beside Satoshi; Jun was in the middle of Masaki and Satoshi while Nino decided to sit farther from Satoshi. Nino sat beside Nino just to make sure that he wouldn’t do something rash in front of the audience and the people that were watching in their homes.

As they were announced and greeted by the hosts, Nino gulped and gripped his legs; his palms were all sweaty that he had to keep them relaxed. The audience gave them a round of applause as the cameras focused on each of them as they said their thanks and bowed their heads.

After their interview, quick exchange of laughter and comments about Kanjani8 and their group, they were now to perform their latest single this year which was Bittersweet. Even the title of their song proved to be somehow like what Nino was feeling towards their leader.

~***~

As they performed, Nino tried his best to hold back his tears as he felt the song touch his soul. He danced as he should and sang as best as he can, never revealing his hidden emotions about the song and its lyrics, secretly devouring him in pain. He focused and did not think of anything else besides the melody and rhythm that he must follow as he danced.

But something unexpected happened that almost made his lose his footing. Satoshi just suddenly touched his from behind. Their leader, who provides good fan service, just touched his bum. It wasn’t just a brush since Nino felt all of Satoshi’s fingers contact the left cheek. What the hell just happened? Did Oh-chan touch me?

Thankfully, the song was almost up to the end. He had to get out of the stage as fast as he can. Then, he remembered that they had to finish the show first before they all could leave. And since they won, they had to be there until the end since the cameras were still rolling and they were the focus of the show. Just calm down and relax, Nino said to himself.

The credits were now on and the show was about to end. Jun and Satoshi were talking with the hosts but Nino could no longer focus with everything as his consciousness was drifting. He had to hide himself behind Satoshi as he saw the camera focusing them. Since he was just behind Satoshi, he had no choice but to cover himself, feeling his cheeks turn beet red just thinking about what Satoshi just did to him.

~***~

“Daijoubu?” Masaki asked as Nino rushed out from the dressing room with his bag, packed with his things.

“Wakaranai,” Nino answered, not knowing what he was really feeling, “Gomen, Aiba-chan, but I have to go now.”

“Is it about Oh-san?”

Nino suddenly tensed. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean, Nino,” Masaki replied.

“Actually, I don’t know,” Nino answered curtly, “Sorry, but I really need to--”

“--get out of here before Oh-san gets back?”

Oh, my God! Aiba-chan already knows my feelings for Oh-chan, Nino felt worried. If his friend has already felt about it, what about the others? Do they also know? Nino was now increasingly getting scared. He could never forgive himself if Satoshi learned about his crush on him and then suddenly leave the group because of it.

“Shush,” Nino hushed Masaki.

“I already know about it, Nino. And I know that Matsujun also knows.”

! Of all the people, why Jun? Nino couldn’t help but swear as he learned about Jun knowing his secret. I’ve tried my best to conceal my feelings but why do they know about it?

“Don’t worry,” Masaki declared, “I don’t talk about it with Jun.”

~***~

It was already past eleven in the evening when Nino’s doorbell rang. He just finished a game and was getting ready for bed. By now, he was wearing only his blue-green boxer shorts and a quite big shirt. As the doorbell kept ringing, he had no choice but to answer it. When he peaked through the eye hole, he saw that it was Satoshi outside his door.

He immediately opened the door and saw that Satoshi was still wearing his clothes earlier with only a little bit of a difference: Satoshi’s clothes were a bit torn apart on some parts. This made Nino worry and invited Satoshi in. Their leader was reeking with the smell of alcohol, Nino noticed as he helped Satoshi take off his shoes.

Satoshi looked wasted and a part of Nino wanted to take him into his arms and just embrace him. He knew that this wasn’t right so he didn’t do so. He could have done it and took advantage of the situation right at that moment but, he didn’t. Even though he had imagined something like this to happen, he knew that Satoshi would’ve killed him.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Satoshi lunged himself into Nino’s body and cried. Satoshi’s body quivered and shook as he continued to shed tears onto Nino’s huge shirt. Wrapping his arms around Nino’s body, the latter stopped thinking about all the negative thoughts in his mind and just dipped his lips onto the older man’s.

Satoshi gave in and kissed Nino back. Both men’s tongues were intertwined with passion and lust. Nino held on to Satoshi’s brown hair and tugged it as they kissed. Their feelings were wrapped with tenderness and pain as they continued to kiss at Nino’s hallway. A few minutes passed and Satoshi’s tears stopped falling.

Nino caressed Satoshi’s hands as they parted from the kiss. Neither spoke for a while. Nino guided Satoshi to the living room and let go of the older man’s hand as they sat down on the living room’s couch. Silence was neither a sin nor crime. It had a different effect on them and it calmed them both as they sat.

~***~

“What happened?” Nino asked Satoshi as he settled the cup of coffee onto the table.

He just finished brewing the coffee that he newly bought. It was an Americano and an expensive coffee which he ordered online. He loved to drink coffee during times like these and so did Satoshi. Satoshi still sat on the couch since earlier that evening. His clothes lay on the floor as he changed his clothes to the ones that Nino just gave him.

Satoshi just kept silent and this was already bothering Nino. We just kissed! What is happening to Oh-chan? I can’t seem to find the right words to ask him, Nino contemplated. A lot of questions were forming in his mind but he kept his mouth shut. He wanted Satoshi to answer is question first before asking another one.

Satoshi then answered after a while, “I am torn.”

“What do you mean by that?”

Satoshi looked down on his knees. He moved a little bit to give room for Nino to sit beside him. He patted the couch, signaling Nino to sit. Awkwardly, Nino stood up and moved towards Satoshi. Inches apart, Satoshi grabbed Nino’s hands and out of the blue, he pulled him to him and embraced the younger one in a bone crushing embrace.

“I love you,” Satoshi whispered into Nino’s left ear.

“I love you, too, Oh-chan,” Nino replied.

Satoshi was surprised with Nino’s answer. “What?”

Nino smiled though the older man couldn’t see. “I said, ‘I love you, too’.”

“When?”

“Ever since our debut,” Nino answered.

“Me, too,” Satoshi confessed, “but I didn’t know how to tell you.”

“Now, you belong to me,” Nino said then pecked Satoshi’s cheek.

Satoshi took a long swig of the air near Nino’s hair. The smell of perspiration and shampoo that was lingering on Nino’s hair was like a drug to him. Simple gestures, hints and that were never confirmed now were answered. They can now openly love each other; they didn’t have to hide their true feelings anymore.

~***~

*ring*

Sho was calling the next morning on Satoshi’s phone but there was no answer. They have a shoot for VS Arashi that day but Satoshi and Nino were nowhere to be found. He tried to contact Nino’s phone but younger man didn’t answer so he decided to call their leader’s number. The calls that he did only led him to the voice mail and he already left thirteen messages to both of them.

“Where the heck are they?” Sho wondered aloud.

Masaki, sensing something, answered, “I’ll go to check Nino’s apartment.”

“I’ll come with you,” Jun said.

“No,” Masaki said, “You’ll have to stay here with Sho-kun. They might get mad to all of us if only Sho would stay.”

Jun just nodded and went back inside the green room with Sho. Masaki took his car and went to Nino’s place. He knew that something was up and maybe, just maybe, the two were together all this time. He drove fast but, abided by the traffic rules. It’s hard to get caught by the police. That’ll cost me big time, Masaki thought to himself.

By the time Masaki reached Nino’s apartment, they sky was already bright with the sun’s light. Though it was still cold, the sun’s rays were painfully hitting his face. “This !” he exclaimed as he took out his sun glasses from the front compartment and putting it on.

He parked in front of the doorway, slammed the door shut and rushed to pound onto the door. After a few minutes, with his boxers and huge shirt, Nino came and opened the door to find his friend with a big, creepy grin. “What are you doing here?”

“What are you still doing here?” retorted Masaki.

“Why?”

“Don’t answer me in questions. We have a VS Arashi shoot today!”

“Oh, !” Nino cursed.

“Where’s Oh-san?” Masaki asked.

“Hai?” Satoshi groggily went up to see Masaki.

“Aha!” Masaki exclaimed, “Now, you two, please fix yourselves and I’ll wait for you both in the car.”

As Masaki walked back to his car, he laughed out loud. “Yappari!”

---

A/N: This was the first time that I had made an Ohmiya shot so this was really hard but I had fun writing it. I hope you did, too. ^_^

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