It hurts. It really hurts so badly.

It feels like my world is slowly turning into a vacuum.

Painfully taking its time to the life out of me.

I can feel the dearth of sanity within me.

My brain is numb.

My heart is beating faster and faster.

I am almost having a heart attack.

But from then on, I realized I’m dead.

My heart may still be beating but I know deep inside of me, I am dead.

You murdered me without you knowing it.

And I so in’ hate myself because I know that everything is of my own doing.

Every moment I have, I always ruminate about you and me.

About us…

What could have been?...

What if?... So many unanswered questions.

Yes, unanswered because I never asked.

I wasn’t dauntless enough to admit to myself what I really am.

What I really feel and what I really want so desperately- it’s you.

It has always been you.

Every moment that I descries your beautiful existence, my whole soul is being engulfed into a mirage of everlasting wonderland where the only thing that matters is you right beside me.

And I, holding you close, not letting go.

It is supposed to be like this.

You and me forever.

But the beating of this cursed heart of mine reminds me that everything was just an inchoate reality which is bound to vanish in thin air.

Just an illusory ideal that my ed up brain created to conceal what w