~~~

I didn’t realize my eyes were tearing when your cold answer reached my heart

~~~

Why was the world blurry?

The sounds had floated through the thick air—which made it much too hard to breathe—before they had found their way into his ears. From there, they had gone straight down his throat and toward his heart, where they rested heavily, slowing the rhythm of his heart beat.

Then the world had turned blurry. The air was already thick, his heart heavy, the wind cold, so why did everything have to be blurry too?

~~~

I don’t know why I teared like this…
I just know that it really hurts…

~~~

He felt like he couldn’t breathe. He swallowed hard, trying to get the lump in his throat to go away, but it only seemed to grow. He tried desperately to call out that name, the name of the one person that was always by his side, that one person whose voice he so badly wanted to hear. He couldn’t get his dry mouth to even form the words.

~~~

My previously burning heart is slowly getting colder…
I don’t know what I should say…

~~~

Barely thirty minutes ago, they had been laughing. They had been so deep within their own world, where nothing was wrong, where no one destroyed the perfect moments, where things like this didn’t happen. He couldn’t wrap his mind around what actually had happened. He tried to get up, he tried to go over to that one person, tried to somehow turn back time. This couldn’t be happening. It couldn’t.

~~~

How I should hold on to you…
How can I… How can I do it?

~~~

He couldn’t get up. His leg hurt horribly. He reached out his hand, fighting through the blurry world, trying to find the warmth of the one he held so dearly. His fingers brushed against concrete; broken glass sliced through the thin layer of skin covering his hand. Warm, thick, red blood began to stream out of the slit in his palm; all he saw was a blurry patch of red to add to the larger pool some feet away. He felt his heart stop.

~~~

Just like the dewdrops on the window, the dewdrops in my eyes are forming a stream…

~~~

It had been raining yesterday when they had been sitting in a coffee shop, talking about what they were planning to do on their day off. He had been transfixed by the drops sliding down the window, watching as they joined with one another on their journey to the bottom, becoming something greater. His friend had laughed at his simple-minded habit of watching it rain. They had drunk their coffee then dashed out into the downpour some minutes later, laughing as they went, trying to make it to their next destination without getting completely soaked.

~~~

I don’t know why I teared like this…
I just know that it really hurts…
My previously burning heart is slowly getting colder

~~~

That was yesterday. Today, the world had come to a sudden halt with shrieking breaks, folding metal, shattering glass. He wanted it to rain again, to wash away the blood and the tears, to wash away the reality of this situation and take them back to yesterday at that coffee shop.

It didn’t.

~~~

I don’t know what I should say…
How I should hold on to you…
How can I… How can I do it?

~~~

He tried again to speak. He tried desperately to cry out for help. He stopped trying when he heard a voice. It was quiet. Almost not there. Obviously very strained. Heartbreaking.

 Like saying goodbye.

“No…” The word slipped past the knot in his throat and over his lips before he knew what was happening. “No!”

He barely heard the other’s last words.

~~~

If I close my eyes, my tears may fall, so I try to look up to the sky…
But one drop of my tears got heavier and it finally fell.

~~~

He looked up at the sky. It was blue and fluffy white clouds drifted along lazily, blocking the sun and making the world just a little darker. It was a nice fall day. The water that had built up in the corner of his eye spilled onto his cheek as he realized that he would never get to spend one more day like this, one more hour, one more minute, with the one he cared so much for.

~~~

How can I?
If I cannot see you…
How can I do it?

What should I do if I unconsciously pick up the phone to call you tomorrow morning just like I used to?

~~~

How would he live? He heard sirens in the distance. Why hadn’t he been the one to…to…

The sirens were getting louder. They would be here soon. It was too late. It didn’t matter now.

~~~

I want to smile as I leave you so as to leave you a good memory…
But when I look at you…

~~~

He wanted to smile. He wanted this to just be an elaborate hidden camera prank. He wanted to laugh and joke again with the one who meant so much to him. He wanted this to be a drama, just acting, not real life where no one yelled “Cut! Good job in that scene!” He wanted not to cry. He wanted more than anything for this stupid crash to not have just taken his best friend away from him forever.

~~~

In the end…my tears still fell…

~~~

Finally, finally, the tears came pouring out of his eyes, silently but quickly, as an older man ran to him and wrapped him in his arms. He clutched onto Leeteuk’s shirt, burying his face into his chest, gasping for breath as he sobbed. Leeteuk ran his hand up and down his dongsaeng’s back, trying to calm him, but tears were falling from his eyes as well.

Behind them, the cold body of Lee Hyukjae was being lifted into the ambulance.

His last words still hung in the air: “Goodbye, my Donghae.”

~~~

Thank you so much for reading~! Any feedback would be greatly appreciated~ :3

love,
afallingstar