Violet

“Violet, I was…..” He starts, I stop in my track, waiting for him to continue. “ually abused when I was a child.”

I blink, once, twice, thrice. I’m still there, facing the door, my hand on the knob. This isn’t a dream, this is real. And there’s nothing more heartwrenching than learning what Kai has been through in reality. I feel my heart sunk to the floor when I hear this and I don’t have enough courage to turn around and look at him.

What should I say? I’m sorry? We’ll work this out? I’m not leaving you? What could I possibly say to make him feel better? I close my eyes, blaming every part of me that has caused this topic to rise up at the first place. Damn it, V, if only I keep my hands to myself.

But then again, if I didn’t do this, I’ll never learn of the truth. And truth, is all I ever ask from him. I have no regret, this is Kai, and this is who I take him for. I’m planning on a long run with this lad, and future can only be gained if we accept the past. I’m accepting this, hell, I’ll accept him for whoever he is. I heave a sigh and then I turn around slowly.

I see him bending down, taking his shirt that I threw off the floor just now. I lean against the door, both hands on my back, completely aware of the tense air between us. He slids the shirt on and then he stands there, looking at me. Suddenly, I feel a knock on the door behind me.

“Miss Lee, dinner’s ready.” I hear Eun Soo’s voice from the outside.

“Coming.” I say while keeping my eyes on Kai and he keeps his gaze on me as well. He looks, indifferent. I don’t know what to make out of that gaze. He looks miserable, and he looks solid at the same time. But I guess that’s just Kai, and now I understand all the bad boy jerk act he has been putting all this while. That’s his defense mechanism.

“Is dinner still on?” I ask him slowly. He let out a heavy breath now and I can see he relaxes his shoulder, only then I realize he’s been tensing all of his muscle while waiting for me to say something since just now.

“You still want to have dinner with me? You’re not asking me to leave?” he asks, now sounding hurtful as ever. My heart flips at his tone. ‘If I tell, you’ll leave me’, his words come flooding back, attacking every nerve of my body. So this is what he’s been worrying for. If I’ll leave, if I want him no more, if I’ll call it off between us. Ridiculous. I push my body forward and then I walk towards him, when I reach in front of him, he frowns, anticipating what I’ll do next. I tip toe and slowly take both of his cheek into my hold.

“Kai, there’s still thousands of things I want to do with you, and asking you to leave is not one of them.” I tell him. He inhales a shaky breath and then he blinks at me.

“I’m not leaving you, and I’m sure as hell will not allow you to leave me too.” I continue.

“Really?” He asks, sounding like a doubtful little children when their parents tell them if they leave a tooth below the pillow, the fairy will exchange it for coins. I smile at him.

“Really. Now can we go have dinner please? I’m starving.” I tell him. We need a break from this tense situation, and maybe dinner will help. And we will talk about this again, there’s no way I’m letting this go, because I will not let Kai live his life, being haunted by his past. We’re going to get through this, and we’re going through this together.

“Okay.” He slowly says.

After the dinner, I walk him to his car outside. It’s so serene at this time, and it’s cold. I walk hand in hand with him, not sure what to say. Dinner was, quite. He didn’t talk that much, not that I expect him to. Me on the other hand, didn’t bother to start any conversation, because I don’t want him to feel uncomfortable. He drives his black Maserati today, each windows is fully tinted.

“I’ll see you tomorrow for dinner again?” I ask him once we reach the side of his car.

 “Yeah. I’ll pick you up.” He tells me. I frown immediately, I don’t feel like eating out, I feel like we have things to talk about, and I feel like we should not talk about it in some random restaurant.

“Can we just dine in? I’ll ask my driver to send me to your place.” I ask him. He raises his eyebrows.

“I suppose you have things to ask me.” He states. I nod at him.

“Only if you want to asnwer them.” I reply. Now it’s his turn to frown.

“Violet, I’m not sure if I can, but I’ll try. You deserve an explanation after all.” He says and I nod in agreement. But of course I wont push him to reveal something that is out of his capability. I realize I’m walking on a very thin line now, I can either break him, or make him. And the second option sure sounds a lot better and that’s what I’m aiming for.

“Thank you, for telling me.” I tell him. He then snake his arms around my waist and then plants a soft kiss on my forehead. I smile immediately. Kai’s back.

I know I promised him I’ll come around 6 today, but it’s not like I have anything to do at home. So here I am, in his elevator, making my way up to his penthouse at 4:15 p.m. I hope he didn’t mind because I didn’t even tell him before hand I’m going to come earlier. Once the elevator reach the top floor, I hear the bing sound and I then I breath in. There, I am presented with his vase living room. Kai’s sitting on the couch, watching the television and the moment I step into his penthouse, I hear he makes a ‘tch’ sound.

“D.O, how did you even-” he stands up and looks at me now. He stops talking once he sees me and then he blinks at me.

“Violet? Hey, sorry, I thought you were D.O.” He says and then he looks at his watch. “Is my watch broken? It’s only 4?” He says while making his way towards me. I give him an apologetic smile and shrugs my shoulder.

“I’m sorry, I got bored at home. And no, your watch is not broken.” I tell him and then he grins at me once we’re standing before each other. He takes me into his arms immediately and kiss my cheek.

“Don’t apologize, you can come anytime you want.” He says and then he releases me so he can look at me.

“So, what are you watching?” I ask and then I make an effort to walk away from him, because I seriously don’t know how long I can stand being so close to him but not do anything. I walk to his couch and then sit on the place he sat just now. He joins me.

“Nothing, just some random TV show.