Something grainy but soft pressed into the side of Jaejoong's cheek as he inhaled slowly, nearly choking when whatever it was tried to steal into his lungs.  With a start, he picked his head up and pried open crusty eyes, squinting them immediately against the bright glare of the sun reflecting off white sand, little motes of light dancing in his vision where the ground practically sparkled.  "What the...?" Jaejoong exhaled slowly, looking around in confusion as he tried to gather the scattered pieces of memory that had led to this moment.

                A pounding sensation behind his eyes made thinking difficult but he could still vaguely hear the sound of the wind and the rumbling thunder in his memory, drudging up snippets of thought that collided haphazardly in his head.  Reeling images of the guys around a bar chased the rising boat in his mind, abruptly soaking him in an ocean of water before it all spiraled into a blurry focus of fins in the water and a persistent whining and clicking sound that rang in his ears irritatingly.  One sand covered hand came up to smack his face and he groaned quietly as the grains dug into his skin, biting into salt and sun harassed flesh with a stinging sensation.

                “Dammit,” he exhaled, removing his hand with more muttered curses under his breath.  Still befuddled, he picked himself up and brushed at the remaining particles that clung to his damp skin, scraping his fingers roughly over the otherwise soft surface.  “Ow…” he hissed as he realized he was without a shirt and his sleeping pants clung to his bony hips by the barest of threads; an angry red line of abused skin contrasted sharply with the porcelain coloration, showing blatantly where the tie of his pants had managed to mark him as he was being dragged by a… dolphin?

                He traced his fingers over the red line gently with a wrinkle between his brows, torn between accepting the physical proof or disregarding it as a conjuring of his wildly overactive imagination.  His head ached from more than just the booze he'd been sleeping off and the smell of salt clung to his nose, making his eyes water.

                There was no way that storm had been real last night.  It was impossible that he’d nearly drowned and had lost sight of everyone while he was in the water.  This present state had to be a ghastly nightmare he had yet to wake up from.  That, or this was just another part of his dream playing havoc with his head and all he had to do was wait for it to end.  Maybe if he closed his eyes and willed it to happen, it would.

                Mutely, Jaejoong squeezed his eyes shut tight as he counted to three.  At the final number, he snapped his eyes open and gestured emphatically with both hands, looking around expectantly.  His jaw quirked to the side and he narrowed his gaze, glaring at the unchanged albeit somewhat fuzzy scenery.  Groaning quietly, Jaejoong tried to rub away his slightly blurry vision, blinking at the line of trees directly ahead of him, the shade beckoning invitingly to get out from under the beating rays of the sun.

                Shielding his eyes from the punishing orb, Jaejoong looked around, conceding that just maybe it was more than a dream, and felt his jaw drop open as he finally scanned the pristine beach on either side of him.  He’d seen pictures of places that looked as isolated and breathtakingly beautiful as the panorama view of the sparkling, crystalline blue ocean colliding with the untouched white sand that was framed by the towering forestry on the other side, a mixture of dark browns muddled in the shade and topped by vibrant green tops of massive fronds.

                It was absolutely beautiful but the problem remained: there was nothing.  That might have been a soggy shirt bunched up at the edge of the ebbing waves but there was absolutely nothing else in sight.  No boat.  No buildings.  No people at all.  "Guys?" he called uncertainly, turning to stare out the equally empty horizon of the sea.  Just more waves, continuously crashing, one after the other, as they headed for the impossibly pristine shore.  He didn’t even see any birds floating overhead…

                "Yunho?" he raised his voice to try again, searching for the familiar visage somewhere along the coast, almost as if he expected the slightly younger male to appear at any moment.  "Junsu?!  Dammit guys!  This isn't funny," he yelled, forcing a laugh as he tried to convince himself it was just a rather cruel but still acceptable practical joke at his expense.  He wasn’t usually the of such tricks but it had been a while since the last one, so maybe it was just his turn.  "Chunnie?" he called once more, brow raised in mute inquiry.  "Yah!  Shim Changmin!  Get your out here right now!" he screamed hoarsely, determined that if anyone was close by, it would have to be the damn maknae.

                When nothing more than the quiet whisper of the sea responded to him, Jaejoong chewed his lip and rubbed at his shoulder with one hand, feeling his heart flutter unpleasantly in his chest.  Great.  It wasn't a joke, was it?  Placing his hand to cover one part of his face, Jaejoong groaned piteously and took another deep breath to help steady himself against the encroaching sense of panic.  That wouldn’t help in the slightest.

                So, he was apparently by himself on an island with no sign of anyone or anything nearby.  If that was the case, there had been a storm last night that had likely destroyed their boat and sent them all into the water.  He was alive and had been rescued by dolphins, which was still a little hard to swallow, but that also meant the others had been found too, right?

                Yes.  They had to be okay and knowing them, they were waiting for Jaejoong to just show up.  Or maybe they were looking for him.  Yeah!  That was it!  Accident or not, he had to find them and standing here wasn’t going to help.  Just as long as nothing else happened, he’d be fine.

                Taking a step to start looking for the guys, Jaejoong felt his pants slipping from their tentative resting place, sliding off his hips when his toes caught the water logged hem, ripping the flimsy fabric in the process.  "Oh !" he yelped, grabbing at the waistband frantically so that he wouldn't be completely exposed.  "Come on...!" he groaned at the tear along the inseam of his thigh, climbing up to the juncture at his crotch.  Grumbling to himself, he hiked the pants back up to where they were supposed to be, holding them in place with one hand while his other swung in front of his person self-consciously.

                So what if it was on a deserted island?  That didn't mean he wanted his junk on display every time he took a step just because...  When he found the guys, they'd never let him hear the end of it if he did.  Heaving a long sigh, Jaejoong resumed his tentative search, hindered by the weight of his pants as they continued to drag and the fact that he had to hold them up at all times.  Further inspection revealed that the tie had in fact given up and decided to wear through on him.  Stupid thing.

                “Just worry about them later, Jae,” he told himself, gritting his teeth as he approached the tree line, peering into the shade with dubious longing.  He would love to walk into the cooler depths, but a glance down showed his feet were bare and he had absolutely no idea what was in there.  Creatures lived in the woods… and there was no one here that could tell him what to look out for or not.  So… that meant he was stuck on the beach.

                Looking back at the white sands and the blue waves, he tilted his head to the side and exhaled.  There were worse places to be stuck.  Like a desert.  It beat anywhere cold too, stupid snow.  And it was certainly better than being stuck in five o’clock traffic anywhere…

                Still standing in the same spot, he became acutely aware of the fact that not only was he alone, he was also completely without food or water.  Granted, he was surrounded by the latter but none of it was drinkable.  Ah dammit.  Who was he kidding?  “This ,” he exhaled flatly, roughing his hair with his hand in one quick motion.

                Without looking at the woods again, Jaejoong gathered the sad remains of his pants and started jogging through the sand, feet sinking into the smooth surface at each stride, making running difficult.  The scenery didn’t change much regardless of how far he felt he ran and even when he looked back to see the distance he’d traversed, it all looked the same.  There was no additional debris to be found and no living thing in sight, though at least he did see a bird fly overhead: some sort of seagull if he wasn’t mistaken.

                Breathing hard, he finally pulled up short and rested one palm on his knee, using his other hand to keep hold of his pants.  “Maybe I should give up smoking,” he huffed, feeling the unpleasant burn of exertion in his throat.  “But damn I could use a cigarette right now,” he immediately contradicted himself, standing up to walk in a small circle, taking one deep breath after the next.  “But a drink would be better.”  Water, liquor, it didn’t matter.  So long as it was cold and drinkable, he’d be happy.  Of course after last night, he’d honestly prefer the liquor…

                “Hello?!” he yelled, nearly coughing when he tried a bit too hard after running.  “…” he groaned, falling silent to continue catching his breath.  “Just stay calm,” he told himself determinedly, standing upright to look around intently.  They had to be here somewhere.  And freaking out wasn’t going to help any, never mind he might die of thirst before he found somebody.  He’d only been conscious a few hours and already he was so damn thirsty and his perfect lips were already starting to get dry and cracked.  He wasn’t even going to start on the condition of his hair.

                His gaze returned to the forest on his right again, pouting at it.  He really didn’t want to go into the woods but that was where he was going to find water, wasn’t it?  “Fine, fine!” he grumbled, throwing both hands up in annoyance.  “!” he floundered when letting go of his pants sent them dropping to his ankles.  Panicked, he nearly fell to the ground in pulling them back up and looked around with wide eyes, positive someone would have seen him.  Maybe he should just walk around .  That was bound to increase his chances of someone finding him, wasn’t it?

                Muttering unpleasant things under his breath, he resolutely turned to walk into the forest and almost tripped on the stretched out hems of his pants again.  “God dammit!” he raged, flailing with one hand and wrenching the pants back into place with the other, turning his angry shout into an abbreviated, pained, high pitched squeak when they slid too high.

                Defeated by his predicament, he plopped down in the sand and glared at the fabric that kept ing with him.  First things first.  Except for walking around , how could he fix this problem?  A thought occurred to him and he suddenly attacked the fabric around the knee, tearing into the flimsy cloth with angry fingers, ripping through it with some difficulty.  His efforts rewarded him with a partial pant leg which he kicked off before he did the same thing to the other side, leaving him with two useless scraps of cloth and a modified pair of shorts.

                Jaejoong got to his feet and regarded his handiwork with a dissatisfied frown.  It wasn’t great, but it was better at least.  Snorting at the remaining scraps, he got another idea, and with slightly more success this time, he split the legs into two additional lengths of cloth.  “Keep falling down will you?” he grumbled, stubbornly tying the ends together as he fashioned a length of cloth long enough to wind around his waist.  “I’m tired of holding you up, dammit,” he continued to mutter, cinching the ‘belt’ tight just under the top of his legwear.  “Hah!” he grinned in triumph, jutting his hands above his head victoriously as the tied fabric held his clothes in place.  “Now…” he started to say, trailing off when he could have sworn he heard someone laughing quietly.

                Oh so slowly with his arms still above his head, he turned to look into the woods, blinking in his awkward pose.  “Hello?”  Jaejoong lowered his arms and took a measured step back without looking away, pretty sure he was hearing things.  “Guys?” he tried again, wiping his sweaty palms off on his shorts automatically.  “Yunho?  Changmin?  Anybody?” he added at the end when silence continued to reign.  His fingers wiggled nervously and he managed several awkward side steps to get him further from the woods without turning his back to the forest before he pivoted and resolutely moved on.

                His path continued to drift further and further from the woods as he called for the guys.  Really, he was calling for anybody but his group mates and friends were the only ones he figured would be on the island.  Wait.  What island was he on anyway?  He had absolutely no way of telling.  And it was hot and he was thirsty and why couldn’t this all be just a god dammed dream?!

                Venting his frustration with a hoarse yell, Jaejoong stopped where he was and let his shoulders slump forward.  He wasn’t giving up.  Really.  But this wasn’t supposed to happen.  Not to him; not to the rest of his group; and certainly not when they were getting ready for another show.

                Oh!  That’s right!  He brightened considerably when he realized that even if he was stranded, which he’d pretty much accepted, he only had to get by for a little while.  Someone would know that their boat went down and would come looking for them immediately right?  Shouldn’t take them long.  All he had to do was stay in the open where they could see him.

                But then how was he going to find the guys?  .  Okay.  Looking up, Jaejoong shielded his eyes from the sun to check and get an idea of what time it was.  Still somewhere before noon, give or take.  And the boat had gone down somewhere over the night so it was probable a rescue party was already on the way.  If he headed inland now, he should be able to find someone and maybe some water and possibly food as well, and they could just wait this out together.

                Yeah.  That was a good plan.  “Forward!” he told himself energetically, pointing into the woods with a determined expression as he took a step and ended in a modified forward stance.  Staring at it in his slightly awkward position, he couldn’t help but feel a little bit intimidated by the shadows.  Maybe if he found a weapon first?  With considerably less confidence, he edged back towards the tree line searching for a branch, or stick, or something he could improvise with.

                He hadn’t found anything suitable before he experienced the most peculiar chill as he felt as if he was being watched.  Looking up from his exploration, he froze and blinked dumbly when he noticed something considerably out of place.  “Uh…” he murmured dumbly as he saw a young woman watching him directly ahead.

                She was hardly imposing with a slender, petite frame and a complexion that might have been some sort of tan coloration.  It was hard to say in the shade.  She regarded him curiously with bright, light colored eyes and tilted her head to the side, revealing a thick length of dark, braided hair that swung into view from behind her shoulder.  The swinging end drew his attention to another fact that hadn’t been immediately noticeable for the decorative adornments she wore around her neck: the young woman was shirtless.

                Jaejoong was torn.  He didn’t want to take his eyes off her considering she was the first person he had found in this place, but he realized he kept staring and it was awkward and he didn’t know how to react.  Cringing with a growing flush in his complexion, his managed a half look with his head turned partially to the side so that he could keep an eye on her with his peripheral vision as he waved uncertainly.  “Hello?  I don’t suppose you speak Korean…” he trailed off with a perfected, fake smile.

                More than anything, she just looked confused by his reaction and absolutely perplexed by his words.  She murmured something he was equally dumbfounded by and stepped towards him slowly, pointing what appeared to be a small axe in his direction while she adjusted a strap over her other shoulder.

                Honestly, he was more focused on the weapon in her hand and his eyes grew wide in his face as he held his hands up immediately.  “Easy,” he murmured, trying to be soothing and reassuring as he kept his gaze locked on the axe which appeared to be made of wood and stone, though he wasn’t sure how it was held together.  Not that it mattered since it was aimed his direction presently.

                She lowered the weapon and said something else to him, staying where she was, though her eyes traveled up and down his form, frowning at what he could only think were his clothes.  Again, she gestured with the weapon and said something that sounded like a question, pointing at his lower body with a furrowed brow.

                Reflexively, he looked down to follow her gaze and yelped when he realized the rip in his shorts was revealing more of him than he cared.  He floundered to cover himself and she shouted in surprise at his movements, brandishing the axe again, looking very much like she knew how to use it.  “Yah!” Jaejoong yelled, taking a step back.  He screamed even louder when he realized there was movement behind the strange woman and he made out the larger forms of what appeared to be similarly garbed men.  “!” he cried in panic, turning to bolt as fast as possible.

                He heard yelling behind him, both masculine and feminine, but didn’t bother trying to stick around to find out what was going on.  So he wasn’t alone but of course, he’d run into hostile natives.

                “Wake up!  Wake up!” he told himself, rushing around trees as fast as possible.  “Ow, ow, ow!” he whined, tripping up when he stepped on something that jabbed sharply into his foot, impeding his ability to run.  He pulled up for just a second to see what it was and then freaked out again as the sound of pursuit closed in swiftly.  “No!” he shifted around, his denial joined by a feminine sounding cry as he turned his head in time to see a wooden club swinging at him.

                His eyes widened while he inhaled sharply, feeling as if time practically stopped as he knew it was going to hit him in the head.  Little motes of light that trickled through the foliage overhead played off the smooth wooden surface of the club, highlighting the slightly grainy texture and the occasional knot in the wood.  He could make out nothing of his attacker’s face save the fact that he knew the other male wasn’t alone.  In fact, the only thing he did know was that the woman had followed them and this was going to hurt.

                “Ah shi-!”

(a/n:  I know I'm taking my time in getting back to the guys.  We'll get there, I promise.  ;)  It was just too much fun messing with Jae this chapter.  lol  And fun times with natives!  hehe  At any rate, I do hope you're enjoying the story thus far and perhaps I should have specified that it's more adult comedy that I'm aiming for.  Not really cute and fluffy comedic value though I honestly have no idea how funny it's coming off outside of my own head so hey!  heh  Feel free to enlighten me one way or the other.

Thank you for reading though and I hope you look forward to the next update!)