“Why are you leaving me?”

“I don’t know. I guess I don’t love you anymore.”

“Why? What do you mean?”

“I’ve found someone new.”

“What?!”

“I’m sorry. I don’t love you anymore.”

“No, it’s not true! You told me I was the only one for you!”

“I’m sorry.”

“How could you do this to me?”

“I’m really sorry.”

“I hate you!”

Gosh, it hurt so badly. It just hurt so much.

-

“Why are you dreaming about now?”

Tiffany turned to find Taeyeon walking towards her. She smiled widely and shook her head.

“Nothing, maybe because I don’t have enough sleep.”

“Ah, that’s right. You have the ‘Fashion King’ to worry about.”

“Yeah, but don’t worry so much. I’ll be fine.”

Taeyeon gave a soft kiss on her forehead. The two have been dating for almost a year now. It was official among the girls but not the fans just as yet. It was too dangerous to do so but the other girls knew they were dating.

“I’m hungry. I’m going to order food. Do you want something?”

“It’s okay. I’m not hungry.”

“Alright, I’ll order now.”

Taeyeon took out her phone and left Tiffany. She was taking orders from the other girls too. Tiffany watched as her girlfriend disappeared from view. She was staring blankly into space when suddenly someone screamed out a name.

“YOONAAAA~”

Tiffany jerked up immediately and turned to look at their front door. Yoona was standing there; leaning against the wall as she took off her heels. She was as beautiful as ever; she was still the same; just like how Tiffany remembered her as.

“You’re home!”

Jessica was the first to reach out for Yoona. The older girl hugged Yoona tightly. It has been weeks since Yoona returned. She was too busy with her drama that she opted to stay at her house. It was nearer to her drama shoot. Now she was finally home.

Yoona smiled widely. She returned Jessica’s hug with a warm smile and Tiffany misses that smile so much. That smile used to be hers.

“Are you tired?”

Hyoyeon was standing with her arms folded; but looking concerned as well. Usually when Yoona had a drama shoot, she would lose a couple of weight. This time, it was no exception.

“You lost some weight.”

“It was really cold. And I could hardly eat much. My indigestion is giving me the troubles.”

Tiffany was concerned. Yoona has history of gastric problems and indigestion. It was severe at one time and Tiffany was extremely worried for her.

“I boiled some soup earlier on. You might want a bowl.”

Seohyun was as caring as usual.

“Thanks Maknae. But now I’m tired. I would like to take a rest for a moment.”

“Sure, you should rest.”

Yuri pulled Yoona into their room and closed the door behind them. Tiffany could only watch as her members moved around the house; extremely concerned with Yoona. Tiffany glanced to her side and saw Taeyeon was staring at Yoona’s room as well.

Both of them were feeling guilty.

“Kim Taeyeon, have you ordered?”

Soo Young suddenly spoke up.

“Huh? Not yet. I was wondering if Yoona wanted to eat something too.”

“Just get a bowl of fish congee, unnie. She wouldn’t be eating that much.”

Seohyun was thoughtful enough.

“Okay.”

Taeyeon took the orders and Tiffany continued to stare blankly into space. It wasn’t easy for the both of them and Yoona to live together harmoniously. But Yoona was thoughtful and kind; she tried to be happy. Of course, Tiffany was at the opposite.

She was regretting.

She regretted hurting Yoona.

-

The dorm was empty. Most of the girls were out with their own schedule. Tiffany was feeling unwell but Taeyeon had her own schedule.

“It’s okay. I can be on my own.”

“But you’re sick.”

“Don’t worry, Taeyeon. I’ll just stay at home. You have to go now. You’ll be late.”

“Okay, call me if something happen or you’re feeling uncomfortable.”

“I will. Now go. Manager oppa is waiting.”

Taeyeon nodded and left the dorm quickly. Tiffany heard the front door opened and closed again. Tiffany was listening to music when she suddenly fell asleep. She didn’t eat anything and went to bad on an empty stomach.

She was too tired and sick to move around.

An hour later, Tiffany was awakened by some noises in the kitchen. She assumed she was alone so she got worried when she heard sounds from the kitchen. She forced herself to get up and made her way to the kitchen with an aching body.

She saw a familiar someone busy brewing something in a pot. She recognised that silhouette – that familiar back of someone whom she used to care a lot and still does.

“Yoona?”

The girl turned and smiled. She stopped stirring and turned to face Tiffany.

“You’re awake.”

“I thought you have a drama shoot today?”

“It was cancelled. The place was snowing too much. I got home earlier and saw Taeyeon unnie. She said you’re at home and feeling under the weather. I saw the kitchen was empty and I knew you must have not eaten anything. Are you feeling hungry now?”

Tiffany’s tears were b in her eyes. Honestly, Tiffany missed those moments when Yoona would shower her love and concern unconditionally. Tiffany gave up those moments too easily.

“Why are you crying? Are you hurting somewhere?”

Yoona was alarmed to see the tears fell from the corner of Tiffany’s eyes. Tiffany didn’t wait. She ran towards the younger girl and threw herself at Yoona. She wrapped her arms around Yoona protectively; she was dying to hold Yoona like this for the longest time. She just didn’t have the courage or moments alone like this anymore.

“Unnie?”

Tiffany cried. She wished Yoona would call her baby or darling like how she used to be. She didn’t want to be called unnie but she knew she couldn’t be selfish.

“What happened, unnie?”

“Nothing, I was just too tired.”

Yoona the back of Tiffany’s head gently. Yoona wasn’t dumb. She knew why Tiffany reacted this way. She rested her chin on Tiffany’s left shoulder as the older girl cuddled her closer.

Yoona wasn’t too sure if she should let Tiffany know but she would never get a chance like this anymore. This was probably the one and only chance.  So Yoona leaned closer and whispered softly in Tiffany’s ears.

“I miss you.”

It felt so good. Tiffany’s heart was beating rapidly. Those words never failed to pull her heart strings in many different directions.

“And I’m sorry for not fighting for us. But at least you’re happier now.”

Tiffany shook her head in disagreement. She held Yoona tighter.

“Taeyeon unnie makes you happy.”

“Yoona, you make me happy too.”

“No, I made you cry most of the time. I was too busy. I didn’t have time for you.”

“That was just excuses, Yoona. I was so stupid to let you go. I miss you too. I really miss you so much.”

Yoona was taken aback with Tiffany’s sudden confession. She looked deep into Tiffany’s eyes and Tiffany stared into hers. Their hearts suddenly beat rapidly; Tiffany was alarmed at how much her heart was responding to Yoona’s soft touches. Yoona gently grazed her palms down Tiffany’s forearms. Tiffany melted in the process.

“You still love me..”

Yoona whispered softly after she could hear Tiffany’s heart beating so fast.

“I just realized it, Yoona. Honestly, I kept watching you and I regretted every single day since the first day I let you go.”

“You’re seeing Taeyeon unnie now.”

Tiffany’s eyes grew larger.

“You cannot do this to her. She loves you the way I did before. You’re not going to hurt her the way you hurt me.”

“Yoona…”

“I’ll be fine. Seeing you happy now makes me happy too. At least Taeyeon unnie knows what you need; knows how to give you and knows how to love you. I was only busy with my work. I was too childish and I kept irritated you with my baby voice.”

“I miss that voice, Yoona.”

Yoona shook her head.

“You cannot do this. We cannot do this. We have closed our chapter. You have to move on. You have to learn to walk away from our history. If it helps, I can stay with my family.”

“It’s not going to help me, Yoona. I will miss you even more.”

Tiffany’s eyes filled with tears. She knew it was not going to be the same again. Yoona has given up her heart and chances after Tiffany left her.

“I still love you, Yoona.”

“I love you too.”

“I’ll never forget you.”

Yoona smiled and wiped her tears away. She pulled Tiffany closer and kissed her forehead.

“I’ll always love you and I’ll never forget you.”

-

Few months later, Tiffany moved on. She became closer to Yoona but she knew that was about it. Yoona didn’t really draw a line but she never leave Tiffany whenever the older girl needed her.

“YOONA!”

Yoona was looking through her magazines when Tiffany ran in.

“There are reports of you dating Seunggi oppa!”

“I know. He told me this morning.”

“The fans seem fine with it.”

“I know. I’m just grateful for that.”

Tiffany stared blankly at Yoona.

“Okay, you’re jealous.”

“Well, I’m trying hard for the last four months.”

“Don’t be jealous. You know you’re still special to me.”

Tiffany smiled widely.

“Im Yoona, you’re special to me too. My heart still beats for you.”

Yoona nodded and smiled.

Love may be lost but that didn’t mean it will go away.

Tiffany knows Yoona still holds a special place in her heart but she loves Taeyeon as deeply too. Yoona taught her how to love whole-heartedly.

As for Yoona, Tiffany gave her a chance to understand herself. She thought she could never love again. But Tiffany urged her to give another person a chance to love.

Love is never perfection. 

Love is forgiving and loving.