Sorry I didn’t mean to call
but I couldn't fight it
I guess I was weak and couldn't even hide it
and so I surrender just to hear your voice
I know how many times I said I'm gonna to live without you
and maybe someone else is standing there beside you
but there's something baby that you need to know
that deep inside me I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you it's all that I'm asking.

Vida, give me back my fantasies
the courage that I need to live
the air that I breathe
carino mio, my world becomes so empty
my days are so cold and lonely
and each night I taste
the purest of pain.

I wish I could tell you I'm feeling better every day
that it didn't hurt me when you walked away
but to tell you the truth I can't find my way
and deep inside me I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you it's all that I'm asking.
Vida, give me back...

Tiffany couldn’t stop crying. She refused to believe that her relationship with Yuri was over but Yuri proved her otherwise. Taeyeon, the person she cheated with behind Yuri’s back, couldn’t find her way back into Tiffany’s heart. Well, it wasn’t there in the first place. Tiffany just thought otherwise. Tiffany finally realized she was the biggest fool; nobody else. It was her fault and she couldn’t blame anyone but herself.

“Tiffany unnie, its dinner time.”

Seohyun knocked on her door gently but Tiffany just remained silence in the stillness of the night. She just couldn’t eat; she couldn’t stomach the food anymore.

“Unnie, please open the door. You’re going to get sick like this.”

“Leave me alone.”

“Unnie, I’m going to break the door open if you refuse to come out.”

That was Yoona. But Yoona’s threat didn’t work on Tiffany. She just pulled the blanket over her face; trying to shut out the intruders outside her room door. There was silence for a moment before Tiffany could hear the jingling sound – they found the keys.

There were voices and then the lock went unclicked. In came three girls; two tall silhouettes and one tiny figure hovering behind Tiffany. She felt pressure on the other side of the bed. One of the intruders was sitting next to her.

“Fany ah, you have to eat, baby.”

That was Sunny. Tiffany could hear a soft whining too.

“Even Prince misses his mommy. Why don’t you take a look at him?”

The little guy was barking like as though he agreed with his Sunny Appa’s words. Tiffany slowly turned to find three worried faces and a wet tongue her tears away. Tiffany grabbed her favourite guy and hugged him tightly. The little guy barked and nestled his face in Tiffany’s neck.

“Unnie.. don’t cry anymore. It hurts me if you do.”

Seohyun knelt down in front of her. Yoona was behind her; nodding her head in agreement.

“I’m sorry, maknaes. I know I’ve let you down.”

“No, you’re not. You’re just healing your broken heart. Don’t worry, we’re always here for you.”

“Yoona, I broke your best friend’s heart.”

“Well, that doesn’t mean she has to treat you cold like this. I will have a talk with her.”

“No need to, Yoona. She has the right to do this to me.”

“But that doesn’t mean she can hurt you with some other girls!”

Yoona had a fall out with Yuri over the way Yuri treated Tiffany after the break up. Yoona was on Tiffany’s camp ever since. She didn’t approve the way Yuri treated Tiffany.

“Girls, dinner!”

Someone was screaming from outside. Hyoyeon and Soo Young were finally home. Soo Young popped her head into the room.

“Is Tiffany awake? I bought her favourite food.”

“Yeah, she is. What did you buy for me?”

“Oh, I forgot about yours.”

“HEY!”

Soo Young stuck her tongue out at Yoona before running away. The younger shikshin chased after her. Seohyun ran after them; she was afraid they might get injured. Sunny was left behind with Tiffany.

“They never change.”

Tiffany finally smiled.

“They will always be the same despite having their own partners.”

“I’m so envious of both of them. They’re clearly enjoying their time now.”

“Tiffany, the girls are worried for you including Taeyeon. Jessica’s spending time with her after you fought with her over Yuri.”

“I know I hurt Taeyeon too.”

“Don’t worry about Taeyeon. Jessica’s doing a good job.”

“Jessica loves her, Sunny.”

“Yeah, and I love you too.”

“o.O”

“Don’t look at me like that. I was just saying I love you but not in that way.”

“Ah, I was almost going to fall for you.”

“Sheesh. But I’m glad you made that face.”

“Why?”

“Tiffany’s back.”

Sunny leaned forward and gave the broken-hearted girl a tight hug before pulling her out of the bed.

“SUNNY! TIFFANY! HURRY UP! THE SHIKSHINS GONNA FINISH YOUR FOOD!”

Hyoyeon was screaming from outside.

-

“Oh my god!”

Tiffany was in horror to find Yuri staring at them with wide open. This was not the way she wanted Yuri to find out about her affair with Taeyeon. They were both on the bed; making out when her girlfriend walked in.

“Yuri!”

“What are the two of you doing!?”

“Yuri, I can explain!”

Tiffany jumped out of the bed; grabbing her bathrobe but Yuri was already running out of the room.

“Yuri!”

Tiffany managed to grab her jeans and t-shirt lying on the floor. She chased after her broken hearted girlfriend. Tiffany suddenly felt her heart aching beyond her imagination. She didn’t realize it hurts so badly to see Yuri breaking down. She wished she wasn’t doing this.

Yuri suddenly stopped and Tiffany rushed towards her. She grabbed Yuri’s hands and held on tightly.

“Yuri..”

“You’ve been lying to me.”

“Yuri, I’m sorry.”

“You’ve never loved me. You’ve never mentioned those three words to me. I just realized how stupid I am now.”

“Yuri..”

For the first time, Tiffany’s heart bled when she saw tears gushing out from Yuri’s eyes. It finally dawned to her that it hurts to hurt Yuri like that.

“Tiffany Hwang, how could you do this to me.”

“Yuri, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you this way.”

“But you’ve already did!”

“Yuri, I’m sorry.”

Tiffany’s hands were shaking. Yuri’s broken sight was tremendously painful for Tiffany to witness. She wanted so badly to hold Yuri in her arms and hug her tightly. She tried but Yuri pushed her away.

“This is not the way I wanted our love to be.”

“Yuri, I know I’ve hurt you. Please give me another chance to undo this pain in your heart.”

“You’ve never loved me, Tiffany.”

“Yuri…”

“Let’s break off.”

Suddenly those words scared Tiffany so much.

-

“Yuri!”

“What do you want?”

“Please, listen to me.”

“No, it’s over. We’re through.”

“Yuri, please listen to me. I need to talk with you.”

“And I can choose not to listen. Please let go. I’m late for my date.”

“Da—te?”

“Yeah, since we’re done, I can go out with other people, right?”

Yuri didn’t wait for Tiffany’s reaction and just turned around. She walked away quickly; leaving Tiffany withering in pain.

It was just too late. Her love has gone away.

-

Tiffany stared at her phone for the longest time. It was already her sixth glass of Vodka Lime. She was drinking on her own. She was feeling tipsy. And her phone book stopped at a name that was too familiar – Kwon Yuri.

Tiffany caressed her phone screen a couple of times; contemplating if she should call. She was missing her too much. She wanted her back but Yuri had rejected her before. But Tiffany wasn’t strong enough to withstand the pain deep down in her heart. 

She was too weak; she needed to hear Yuri’s voice. She was losing her mind and everything around her reminded of the tall tanned girl. She was too broken. She tried to resist the desire to hear Yuri’s voice. So she drowned her sorrows in her liquor instead.

Eventually after the tenth glass, Tiffany was officially drunk. She wasn’t herself; she was blabbering nonsensical stuff to herself. People around her didn’t even notice the broken girl at the corner of the pub. She was completely ignored.

Tiffany took out her phone; she was swaying too much. But somehow her finger managed to hit a particular number and she pressed the call button. She waited for few seconds when the other party answered.

“Hello?”

“I miss you.”

Tiffany didn’t have any idea who she was talking to but she needed to lash it out. It was too painful for her.

“I miss you so much.”

The other party was silent.

“I know I did wrong. I know it has been 8 months since we have broken up but Yuri, it was just too painful and it is still hurting me. I wish I could pull out my heart so that it could stop beating. Because with every beat of my heart, I just keep missing you more and more. I love you but I know it’s no longer enough to convince you that I love you so much.”

The girl finally burst out in tears. She cried for an hour over the phone and the other party was patient enough to listen. But no words were spoken and Tiffany was dying.

“I’m sorry. I was too weak to resist this pain. I know you’re with someone new right now and I’m sorry that I caused you more distress. I’m sorry for everything; I’m sorry for not being strong enough.”

Tiffany sighed.

“But I love you. I really do.”

She hung up almost instantly and put her head down. She was completely wasted that night.

-

Tiffany was in her bed. She took four mouthful of the soup before calling it quits. The girls didn’t force her and Sunny took her back to her room. Tiffany wanted to be alone so Sunny offered to take Prince with her.

“How’s Tiffany?”

“She’s still the same. How’s Taeyeon?”

“She’s doing fine. She’s really sorry.”

“I know but Tiffany is not ready to meet her.”

“No worries.  I’ll take good care of Taeyeon.”

Tiffany was glad that Jessica could stay by Taeyeon’s side. She wasn’t ready to face Taeyeon because she finally realized what she was feeling for that girl was just lust. And Taeyeon was confused too. She finally understood the reason why she decided to go with Tiffany – she was doing it out of spite because of Jessica. She was jealous of Jessica’s relationship with Taecyeon. The girls patched up.

But Tiffany wasn’t lucky. Yuri didn’t want her back. Tiffany’s tears immediately fell the moment she recalled her moments with Yuri.

“Yuri?”

“Fany ah, you know what’s this?”

Yuri gave her a bottle of love seeds. Tiffany looked at her blankly.

“These are love seeds. I picked them up. They say if you pick 1000 love seeds and give to someone special, your love will last forever. I want us to be forever together.”

Yuri gave her a sheepish smile. Tiffany was speechless. She glanced downwards and found some scratches and abrasions on her girlfriend’s legs and even on her arms.

“Did you injure yourself?”

“I had to battle many thorns just to pick those seeds up. And I kinda fell because I saw a squirrel. It shocked the of my life.”

Tiffany picked up the bottle of love seeds Yuri gave her when they were together. She held it closer to her chest; cherishing the last bit of what was left of Yuri’s memory.

That was her precious treasure.

-

The door opened and someone stood at the door. Tiffany was finally asleep with the bottle of love seeds; held tightly to her chest. The person let herself in and closed the door behind her. She came closer towards Tiffany and sat gently by her side.

She stared hard on Tiffany’s face – there were tear streaks at the corner of her eyes. The mysterious person wiped them away. She saw the bottle of love seeds and wept silently.

“You silly girl…”

-

Tiffany woke up the next morning. She felt tired but at ease. She was feeling peaceful; she had a wonderful dream – she dreamt that Yuri was in the room with her.

She smiled widely as she remembered Yuri kissed her in her dreams.

It might not be real but Tiffany was contented to have Yuri entering into her dreams. It had been awhile. Suddenly she felt a hand on her side. Tiffany was stunned.

She quickly turned and was stunned to find someone else in the bed with her.

She remained still; not willing to move. She thought she was still in her dreams.

That someone stirred in her sleep as she slowly opened her eyes. The sunlight hit her face and she finally turned. Tiffany was still staring at her. Their eyes met.

“Good morning, Tiffany.”

But Tiffany was still keeping quiet.

She wasn’t too sure if she should make sudden movements – just in case it was just a dream and that someone might fade away if she moves.

-

“Fany?”

“Huh?”

“Why are you staring at me like that?”

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m sorry.”

Tiffany was frowning away.

“I don’t understand.”

“I’m sorry for lying to you.”

Tiffany’s eyes grew larger.

“What are you talking about, Yuri?”

Yuri sighed.

“I lied. I lied when I said I didn’t need you anymore.”

Tiffany’s heart skipped a beat.

“I lied to you about the date. I wasn’t seeing anyone. I lied when I said I don’t love you anymore and it wouldn’t be the same as before. I lied when I said I don’t care but I still care about you so much. Honestly, I couldn’t put you away.”

Tiffany started crying.

“Don’t cry. I’m sorry.”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why suddenly this?”

Yuri suddenly pulled Tiffany closer and hugged her tightly.

“You called me one night when you were drunk. You sounded so upset. You sounded so heartbroken and it hurt me so much to hear you crying like that. I know I couldn’t lie anymore. It’s not easy to pretend like I don’t care.”

“So I did call you that night..”

“Yes you did. You even sang to me.”

“What?”

“You sang Purest of Pain by Son by Four. You were crying but your voice was still beautiful.”

Tiffany was confused.

“I’m sorry, Tiffany. I’m stupid too. But now I know we cannot do without each other, will you forgive me and take me back?”

Tiffany couldn’t believe her ears.

“Yuri, what did you just say?”

Yuri took both of her hands and held tightly. She looked deeply into Tiffany’s eyes before smiling widely.

“Tiffany Hwang, will you be my girlfriend, again?”

That gave a new leash of life for Tiffany. She felt like she could breathe all over again.

-