i'll be waiting

"kibum, you sure they're here?" a boy with pale skin and rather small eyes groaned in slight annoyance, his hand grasped his phone positioning it against his ear, whilst his other hand traveled across the dirty shelves of the attic. after a moment, the boy muttered a light, "alright, jinki, you can do this!" before shoving his phone in the pocket of his black jeans, that went alone nicely with his cream coloured sweater that was folded uptil his elbows. one of his hands gripped a torch, while the other covered his nose and mouth to prevent the dust from making him sneeze.

the attic was dark, as there was only one window which let in some sort of light in, but that was covered with multiple layers of dust, allowing only a little bit of sunlight to lighten up the dark, dusty room filled with all sorts of things from the past. although most of them were safely tucked in boxes, which, by now, had dust all over them. the brown haired boy let a huff escape his plump lips, as he sat down on the wooden floor, and grabbed the box nearest to him. jinki set the torch down next to him, and dusted off the opening of the box with his hands, huffing out air a few times as well. he dusted his hands off of his jeans, and proceeded to open the box. with slight effort, the cardboard box opened, only to reveal old china. the boy groaned, and closed the box, brining out a marker from his jeans, scribbling 'kibum's china' on top of it rather hastily.

he moved onto the next box, only to find old gadgets, like wrist watches, tamagotchis, gameboys and a few old keyboards and mouse pads in it. the closed the box with slight annoyance, and marked it with 'old electronics' in his messy handwriting. he moved onto the next box, and to the other, and other. closing them all, and entitiling them with his messy handwriting. he moved onto the sixth box, dusting it off slightly with his hands, and opening it. the first thing that he noticed was that its contents were neatly organized, although extremely dusty. it contained multiple different things- polaroids, wrappers of candy bars and crisps, a few CDs and USBs, a couple of video games, papers neatly stacked upon each other, a few even in envelopes, and all sorts of things, even a few wristbands.

jinki dusted his hands off of each other, and reached into the stack of polaroids. the first one he graced his eyes upon was a picture of two boys, one with curly, brown hair creeping down his neck, sharp cheekbones, plump, rosy lips that stretched out in a smile, and the other with a rather round face, a pouty smile, and short black hair that fell above his eyes, jinki could identify the black haired boy as himself, and as his eyes traveled below the picture, he could read 'minho & i, 2005'. he put that picture in his lap, his heart slightly aching and his eyes watering slightly.

the other picture was of five boys at some sort of park, each one wearing a blue wrist band, but sporting very different hairstyles and clothing choices, the tallest, minho, was wearing blue jeans and a black t-shirt, sporting short black hair. the shortest, jonghyun, with sharp cheekbones, big eyes, and notably larger nostrils, had his hair dyed dark brown and a dorky smile graced upon his lips. another boy had his hair dyed black with blue and green colored streaks, chiseled cheekbones, had called himself 'key' instead of his actual name, kibum. one of the boys seemed to be very thin, with a round face, and eyes shaped as crescents as he grinned widely, had his hair black, and was fondly referred to as 'taeminnie' in place of his birth name, 'taemin'. and the last boy, jinki, had his hair brown, with plump lips and a round face. the names of the boys were written in the order they were standing, along with '2005, park around the corner'.

the other pictures consisted of the five boys, doing various things together, such as going to the arcade, wearing silly headbands, grasping their hands together in some sort of handshake, grinning- and, well, doing whatever teenage boys of 2005 would do. but jinki could notice a pattern. taemin always had way too many pictures with jonghyun alone, and the younger was usually on his side in many group pictures. he could see that minho always had a fond smile and an arm hooked over jinki.

he could also see that minho and himself had a bit too many pictures of themselves alone. entitled 'minho and i alone at lotte world', or 'minho and i, at his soccer match! ps; he shot the first goal, they won!!', and cheerful smiles graced the boys faces, with peace signs and thumbs-up poses.

at the end of the pictures, his eyes were a bit watery, his heart was thumping a bit harder than it should normally, and his breath seemed to be rather shaky. he shrugged it off, blaming it on the dusty atmosphere.

he dug in further in the box, nostalgia hitting him, making his heart ache, as a thought lingered in his mind, 'what happened to minho, anyways?'. he shook his head, dismissing the thought as he dug in deeper into the box. he picked up a cream-colored envelope, his fingers gently opening it up. it started with a simple 'minho' and ended with a 'i like you- a little too much'. he went through multiple other letters, all identical to each other, conveying the same message to minho that jinki couldn't speak out loud, but could pour out in ink. all of them were in cream-colored envelopes, all of them written with black ink, all of them saying 'i love you'.

and all of them, never sent.

he thought the box was empty as most of the contents lay upon his lap, or on the wooden flooring, he glanced back into the cardboard box, and spotted a much smaller piece of paper, which seemed to be folded plenty of times. he picked it up gently, unfolding it with utmost care. the handwriting seemed familiar, yet, he was sure it wasn't his own. he squinted, trying to read the contents.

' 25th may, 2009

i have no words, onew, to write this letter. im writing it with a blank mind, with no thoughts, but of yourself and i. perhaps you'll come back and not find me here. this is what i wish for you to remember me by. life can last but so long, and ends with but oneself, alone. i'll question myself for leaving for eternity, and longer. i'll wait for you. i'll remember your image. i'll wait for you, until the end.

i'll be waiting.'

and below it all, was an address. jinki had remembered that only one of the five boys had called him fondly with the name 'onew', and that was no other than minho. he hastily placed everything into the box, except for a certain polaroid that was of the two boys, minho and onew, and the letter that minho had written him. with a sigh, he placed the polaroid and the letter in his pocket, closed the box, and gave it the name 'SHINee.' he remembered that the boys had named themselves that- or at least, jonghyun had decided that the five of them needed a name, and he presented the name 'SHINee', jinki couldn't exactly remember what it meant, but it meant something along the lines of shining and being stars. he stood up, dusting himself, and looked at the last box remaining.

he advanced towards it, opening it almost too quickly. it was just pictures, pictures, and more pictures, of kibum and jinki. both of them clad in suits, jinki, with his hair blonde, was wearing a black suit. kibum, with his hair black, was wearing a white one. both of them were standing at the altar. the one picture that was placed on top, was the two boys, with taemin, and jonghyun at the side, and the families of all four boys, as well as friends, and what not.

jinki gave a soft sigh, and a content smile before he brought out his phone, and wrote up a message, 'found them.', and sent it to the contact he'd saved as 'husband'

jinki glanced at the white fences, whose paint was cracking off, and behind them lay dried grass, and wilted flowers. the boy tightened his cream scarf around his neck, the cold and harsh windows of autumn had ever so slightly tousled his light, copper brown hair. he took out the letter from his pocket and went over the address again, S-143, and then at the numbers scribbled on his mailbox. both were identical. he huffed slightly, and pushed the fence to allow himself in, slightly flinching at the noise it created. seemed as if it hadn't been used for too long. jinki shrugged, dismissing the thought. he knocked on the wooden door, once, twice, and then stood back.

the door creaked open, a rather tall and tanned male with long, curly hair behind it. he gave a soft smile, "onew?" he asked in the softest voice.

jinki, or as the boy always called him, onew, nodded, a soft smile creeping up on his face.

"well, hey, come on in." the taller of the two opened the door wider, stepping aside for the other male to enter.

the shorter bows his head, entering the house. the taller leads him in to the lounge, murmuring a 'sorry for the mess' under his breath. the apology was needed, really, the house was a mess with dust covering nearly everything. the taller motioned the other to sit down on one of the couches, as he did himself.

"so you finally came, eh, onew?" the taller spoke in a low voice, "i was beginning to think you forgot about me."

jinki slightly shook his head, "i didn't, minho. how could i ever?"

minho shrugged in respond, "just a thought." he replied, then spoke again in a lower tone, sadness evident in his voice, "why'd you take so, so long?"

jinki was left speechles, "i dont know." he stuttered, "sorry."

the tanned male chuckled lightly, shaking his head ever so slightly, "at least you're here now, yeah?" he passed a soft smile, "at least you're here now."

jinki gave a slight nod, humming in response, "how've you been all these years? it's been pretty long."

minho began his tale of moving outside their old town, getting a new part time job at the bakery around the corner and then later as a chef at a restaurant, a girlfriend, and well, what not. jinki smiled in response as minho began describing the girl, an image blossoming in his mind of a slightly tall girl with big eyes and a soft smile. when questioned with the same question, jinki replied that he'd stayed in contact with the other three boys, married kibum. he'd told minho tales about their wedding, and how jonghyun and taemin were now engage which led jinki to question minho about jinri and himself, to which the boy replied with a soft, sad smile that they'd broken up quite some time ago.

things went silent after that, really.

jinki cleared his throat, "you wanna come and get some coffee, or something?"

at first, minho hesitated, but then nodded, "give me a moment, yeah?", he stood up, and after a nod from the other male, he escaped into a room, and closed the door behind his back almost immediately.

it was messier than the lounge, and definitely more foul smelling. not that minho could tell, really. everything around the house just smelt the same, no matter what he did. he just gave up soon enough, accepting that he couldn't help it. he took a glance around the room- a queen-sized bed in the middle, blankets and bedsheets messily covering it. off-white walls, and empty alcohol bottles on the wooden floor. the dark brown curtains were drawn close together, but some rays of light still shone through the gaps in between them. he sighed, advancing towards his closet, he pulled out a pair of jeans, some random shirt, and a black leather jacket. he quickly changed into it, and walked out of the room, careful to close the door behind his back quickly.

he heaved a sigh as he walked back to the lounge, "sorry for that. let's head out, yeah?" he stretched his lips into a thin, but sincere smile.

jinki looked up from his interlocked hands, "oh," he took a glance at minho, "don't worry about it, that's alright." he said, "you look nice."

"thank you." minho gave him a smile and a nod, "let's go, hm?"

the older nodded, and trudged towards the direction of the door, taking a glance at the interior of the house. most of it was dusty and dark blue. the house was oddly cold, as if the heater hadn't been used for a while now. maybe it's broken, the boy thought, minho never was one to fix things immediately.

"you first." minho said, holding the door open.

after jinki had walked out, minho followed suit. locking the door behind him. as soon as the boys had begun walking in the streets towards the coffee shop, minho being in charge of the directions, telling the other when to turn left or right, as this was jinki's first time in this town. speaking of the town, it was rather silent. not many cars passing by, and there seemed to be barely anyone in the streets. it seemed rather odd, as it was still daytime, and usually in other towns, there'd be people crisscrossing the streets around this time. again, jinki shrugged the thought away, thinking that since it was rather cold, most preferred to stay inside than outside. after a good half hour walk, the boys had reached the coffee shop.

it wasn't too big, but not too small either. it seemed homey enough, and there were quite a few people in the small cafe, around twenty or so. the two took a table near the window, but a good distance away from the crowd.

"well, i think i'm going to have a vanilla latte- what about you, iced coffee?" jinki spoke in one breath, listing his favorite drink, as well as the other male's.

minho hesitated, "i'm actually not in the mood," he began, "if i feel like it, i'll go ahead and order it. don't worry about it."

jinki wasn't quite satisfied with that answer. before, the boy would never, ever skip up a deal for iced coffee. even if little taemin was buying it, the boy would try and get his hands on a cup of iced coffee all the time. but, jinki thought, people change. and well, it had been around five years since they'd met before. he shrugged before nodding, "alright, then."

and by that time, a young lady had arrived to take jinki's order, which he repeated, ending it with a soft smile. the girl returned it, and left after bowing.

"well, what do you think of the place?" minho asked, slightly leaning forward.

"i like it." jinki said, grinning.

and the two talked, and talked, and talked. whatever that was that came into the minds of either boy, it was said out loud, and most likely, laughter ensued. jinki had recieved quite a few weird stares, but he thought that was probably since the town was rather small, and he'd been visiting for the first time. he chuckled with minho, as the other told spoke of memories that the two shared together. jinki pitched in at times, with a jolly "oh i remember that!" or with a blithe chuckle, and an understanding nod. this, jinki thought, this is what i missed. the two clicked together amazingly, even after not speaking for five years. they both had valid reasons for doing so, though. not that they cared- the two had finally met up. and that's all that mattered to jinki. them, together.

no wonder he'd missed the dust that accumulated itself on minho's seat within the hour.

somehow, they'd both end up at minho's house again. this time, playing cards on the floor of one of the rooms that contained a noticeably less amount of dust, and nothing but a bed, a tubelight, and a window that remained closed for the time being. both of them unaware that time had passed so quickly as the two laughed at what each other said.

"hey hey, minho, what sort of music do mummies listen to?" jinki grinned, telling the boy all the jokes that he'd ever known.

"i 'unno, hyung, what do they listen to?" minho shrugged, chuckling at the older's antics.

"wait for it, wait for it- wrap music!" jinki smiled widely, throwing his hands in the air.

laughter resounded across the room, as the boys exchanged jokes and memories together. whether or not the jokes were funny, the two of them laughed anyways, time flew by, and soon, the moon had come out and the clock struck 11 pm. by that time, the boys had quieted down a bit, both simply laying amongst the mess of comic books, lays' wrappers, pizza boxes, a few cans of beer and cards. all of a sudden, jinki's phone rang, breaking the comfortable silence between the two boys. he shuffled, brining it out of his pocket and putting it to his ear, minho watching him curiously as he did so.

"hey, kibum," the boy spoke, "yeah i'm at minho's."

minho's eyes slightly enlarged, "don't go yet, hyung, it's been five years!" he whined a little, in a low voice.

jinki cast a glance over minho, "kibum, i think i'm gonna stay the night over here." his expression turned into a pouty one, "please?" he said, "please kibum, please?"

minho slightly chuckled, raising a brow at jinki's actions. suddenly, the other's expression brightened up, "yes!" he grinned, before recklessly ing his phone into his pocket, "i'm staying for the night." he proudly announced.

minho grinned, holding out his hand for a high-five, jinki greatfully thumped his hand against the other.

minho frowned a little, "onew, you're freezing."

jinki shrugged, "but i feel alright."

minho rolled his eyes, standing up on the floor, "come on, lets watch a movie in the lounge. we'll order up some pizza, like old times, yeah?"

jinki fondly smiled, nodding his head. he stood up himself, walking out as minho followed behind. he sat on the couch with as soft plop, and made himself comfy. minho put in a movie in an old dvd player, and sat next to jinki, pulling an arm over the other's back. the two sat together, as the movie played in a low, soft volume.

"hyung," minho said in a low voice, "did you order the pizza?"

"oh- no," jinki uttered, suddenly panicking, ", i'll order it now."

minho gave a small chuckle, "it's alright, i'm not too hungry. and i'm guessing you aren't either, yeah?"

jinki stopped fumbling around, and sat back into the couch comfortably.

"no, not really." he said, "you sure you don't want pizza?"

the younger shook his head, "i'm sure."

jinki relaxed back into the comfort of the younger.

both of them watched the movie in silence. jinki couldn't help but notice the amount of dust that'd accumulated around the house, mainly on the couches. he didn't mind, though. however, it seemed as where minho was sitting was the dustiest of them all, and even if he was sitting next to him, he hoped that his clothes wouldn't be as dirty in the morning. walking back with dusty black jeans wouldn't make the best of impressions on the streets. he dismissed the thought, turning his attention to the movie, which seemed to drag on.

"onew hyung," minho began again, "sing for me?"

jinki turned to look at minho, slightly surprised to see that the younger was already looking at him.

"please?" the boy said again, taking in as much of jinki's appearance as he could.

the older gave a slight nod, "what do you want me to sing, then?"

minho shrugged, shifting himself to lay his head on jinki's lap, "anything. but don't stop once you start, yeah?"

jinki lightly chuckled, entangling his hand in minho's hair, "alright then."

and so he began singing. he closed his eyes, pressed back into the couch, and sang for as long as he could. he grew sleepy, tried, and his throat started to ache ever so lightly. but he sang, and sang, and sang.

soon, he fell asleep.

a very, very light 'i love you so much, onew, i'm so, so ing sorry. i love you, i love you, i love you.' a sob or two was heard, lips were pressed against another's in the most gentle way, a tear slipped out, and then nothing.

nothing but dust on jinki's lap.

nothing.

jinki woke up to nothing.

he sat up, dusted off his jeans, and looked around.

"minho?" he called out.

nothing.

"minho, where are you?" he turned around the room.

nothing.

"yah, minho!" he spoke a little louder.

nothing.

"minho!" he yelled.

nothing.

he walked out of the lounge, and into a random room. he was taken aback by the dust in the room, as well as the foul smell that filled it.

he began, looking around the room, a queen-sized bed in the middle, blankets and bedsheets messily covering it, "jesus christ minho, why the do you never clean u-"

he went silent. minho stood infront of me.

"goodbye." minho said, simply.

jinki blinked- he disappeared. jinki looked down, an immense amount of dust had gathered below. he looked around the room- nothing but dust.

he blinked, again. empty alcohol bottles were smashed around the room. a boy lay in the middle. shirtless, with black pants clothing his bottom. multiple cuts on his chest, arms- everywhere. except for his pale, pale face. a glass shard remained in his hand, his fingers lightly gripping it. in the other, there was a letter.

'25th july, 2009

i'll wait. i'm waiting. i'll be waiting.
just please, please don't forget me.
please.

love kibum a lot, i know he loves you.
i'm so, so, so sorry.

i've waited.'

one day, four boys found themselves infront of a grave.

choi minho
december ninth, 1988 - july 26th july, 2009