When I got back from my apartment, I was dazed and a little unclear of what just happened.  Damn.  I really need to stop drinking alcohol, after all, I was trying to be a health freak with no alcohol, no meat, no dairy, no oil, no salt…basically anything that tastes good.  But no.  Of course it fails miserably.
Actually…now that I think about it…I can’t breathe either.  Is it possible to have asthma when your reaching 20?  No that’s silly.  Or maybe it’s the darned spanx underwear I have on.  That can make an elephant have a waist.
Yeah…it must be the spanx.  I’m going to just take them off…
“Err….uhh….eeeee….get…off…you….stupid…piece…of…grrrr…AH!”
There we go. Now I can breathe.
.  I think I’m hyperventilating.  What the hell am I supposed to do when I’m hyperventilating?  Brown paper bag.  I don’t have any MOTHER ING brown paper bag.  Can a plastic bag work?  No…I remember reading somewhere about it suffocating you because it miraculous binds around your head leaving you with no air.  Shudder.
After a good forever of freaking out and trying to find something I can hyperventilate in, it started to go close to 1 in the afternoon.
.  I didn’t even sleep.  Okay.  Just go to the mirror, spruce up a little but.  .  I look like Cruella De Ville on crack and heroine.  Okay…I’m sure a little concealer and a highlighter will fix those dark circles right back up.
My face looks like a ing cake.
.  Ok…12:45p.m.  I have to go now.

So, I ended up throwing on a bat-winged black and white striped hoodie and some leggings from American Apparel, and put the hood on to cover the no makeup face (I couldn’t go outside with a cake face).

I didn’t ask for the limo today because I felt that we could get around better in my honda.  But of course, I forgot that there were five of them.  And only 5 people can fit in my car.
And…as usual..I don’t remember this important factor until AFTER I arrive to the castle.
Everyone was outside waiting for me outside…except…where was Jiyong?

“Amelie! Wassup?  You’re here!” Taeyang said.
“Yeah…sorry I’m a little late.  I was…errr….busy.”
I was BUSY HYPERVENTILATING.
“I’m so excited to go to Hollywood!” Seungri squealed.
“Can we go to the Chinese Theater and the walk of fame?”
“Of course Daesung.  I have it all planned out.”
“Are we riding in that car?  I think it’s too small for us.”
“But I didn’t bring the limo.”
“Don’t worry…we already have one.  We figured you might not have the proper car so we asked Peter for a limo.”
Damn.  These people have money coming out their asses, nostrils, and ears.  It is outrageous.
Where was Jiyong?
“Jiyong’s sleeping.” Top read my mind.
“No one can wake him up usually.  He gets very cranky.” Taeyang said.

What ever happened to…”Good morning…I’ll see you in about 5 hours”?
Guy is NOT perfect.  He is FLAKY.  And FLAKY men are not attractive.  At all. Maybe a little.

“Maybe you can wake him up noona.  He wakes up better when strangers yell at him.”  Laughed Seungri.
“Uh…I don’t think that would be a good idea.”
“Come on.  It won’t be that bad.  He wont hit you or anything.  You’re a girl.”
“Fine.  I’ll try.”
“Good.”
So I go into the house….Somehow locate this son of a ’s room, and knock.
“knock Knock.”
No answer.
“Jiyong….we need to go.  You wanted a tour today remember?”
No answer.
I open the door and I have to admit….he was very clean.  His room was neat with minimal things except for a whole entire wall filled with clothes and shelves of shoes and figurines.  He also had a desk and a computer on top with a…notebook?
I slowly walk over to the notebook to see if it was a diary of some sort. (Yes I am a nosy-posy) But instead it had scribbles and writing all over it.
It said….

Why can’t you get out of my mind?
*Scribble Scribble Scribble*
It was just the two of us in a filled room.
Emotion-

And it was stopped there.

I started to flip through the pages some more…but I heard a rustling sound at the bed.
“Jiyong?  Are you awake?  We have to go to the tour remember?”
“ererejrekhernbe….”
.  It’s 2:00 already.
“Jiyong?  Let’s go.  Wake up.”
I walked over to where he was sleeping.  I looked at his face…and it was so peaceful…like a little innocent child.  He seemed so relaxed and at peace.   My mother told me I looked like I was going to beat someone up when I was asleep.
I drew closer and closer to his face to wake him up, but then something out of nowhere grabbed my arm and pulled me down onto the bed.  I was about an inch away from his beautiful face and then I started to feel the hyperventilating coming on.  I started to get up, but he moved closer to me, grabbing me by the waist, pulling me closer and closer to his warm…and nice…and hard….and……mmmmm….
! Get a control of your self, Amelie.  
“Jiyong.  Wake up.  We have to go.”
“Just five more minutes.”
“Whatever happened to I’ll see you in 5 hours?”
He was just an inch away from me.
“Yeah. You’re late.  You were supposed to be in my room by 1p.m, not 2.” He said groggily.
“Alright.  Let’s go. I’m here.”
He pulled me in even closer. He smelled of faint cologne, mint, and a slight hint of lemon. God he smelled good
“Are you sure you want to leave?  Let’s just stay here like this.”  
He snuggled in closer to me and now I felt every warm piece of body.  I began to melt but feel as if I was going to explode.
I bet you I was bright red. And he could definitely have heard my loud- heart.

Of course I want to stay here like this, you idiot.  You’re less than an inch away from  me, you smell like heaven, and you are DAMN gorgeous.  Why would I ever want to leave?
I couldn’t stand it any longer.  I felt like a ert for liking this so much and I was embarrassed for feeling like this.
I pulled away.
I stood up and crossed my arms.
I tried to stay away from him as much as possible.

“Mr. Sicko, we need to be leaving now.  Everyone is waiting for you.  Don’t you want to go shopping?  I was thinking about taking you to Rodeo drive.”

“Really now.”  He propped his head on his hand while he was lying on one side facing me.
“Yes.”
“Alright then.  Give me 5 minutes.”
Then he left his bed took some clothes and headed for the restroom.  Guy seriously loves to shop doesn’t he.  But then again…having this wardrobe ….you need to shop at least once a day.

--

“Aren’t you going to buy something noona?” asked Seungri.
“No. Sorry.  I can’t afford any of this.”
“But you’re wearing American Apparel.”
“Yeah.  Both of it was on sale. Besides…American Apparel is nothing compared to…this stuff.” I said as I was grabbing a silk chiffon and organza skirt.  How much is this anyway?  HOLY MOTHER OF….2,300 dollars?  I can make this .  Well…maybe not.  But that is why over priced.

“Can we go home now?  I don’t really like to shop.”  Daesung whined.
“WE still have a whole block worth of shopping to do.”  Top said.
“Daesung…you can go home first if you like…the limo can take you back.”
“Nah, its cool Amelie, Jiyong hyung is always on my case about not dressing well.” Chuckled Daesung.

I was looking over at the store, and there were so many fabulous things in here.  The clothes, the jewelry, the purses….and I couldn’t afford a single one.  I need to take a breather.

I was outside looking at the passing tourists and nice cars when someone sat down next to me.
“Hey.”  Jiyong said quietly.
“Hey.  Why are you out here?  Shouldn’t you be shopping to your hearts content?”
“I already finished.”
“Oh. Right.”
“…Why are you out here?”
“I just needed some air.  Its not a big deal.”
“I want to go to a farmers market.”
“What?”
“ you know…those out door markets that sell organic stuff?”
“Don’t you want to finish this block?  There are still a lot of stores to go to.  Top seems like he is having a lot of fun.”
“Then how about we just go.  Just us two.”
“uhhhh……”

I couldn’t say no.  He was looking at me with hopeful eyes…and I think he knew that I wasn’t going to buy anything here anyways…so we went to a nearby farmers market.

--

“OMG! Tamales. I love these.  You have to try one.”
“Do we eat the corn husk as well?”
“No of course not Jiyong.  You take it off before eating it.”
“Can I have 2 tamales please?” I asked the woman at the booth.
“You should call me oppa.”
“What?!”
“Do you always get taken by surprise?”
“well…that’s because that is all you do to me.  Take me by surprise.”
Then he held my hand.
“Like this?”
I yanked my hand out of his embrace and huffed, “No.  Like when you say weird things like ….me calling you oppa and stuff.”
“What’s so wrong with you calling me oppa?”
“Because….”
“you know…it is considered very rude…Thank you” as he got his tamale, “in Korea not to call elders by respected names.”
“But this is America.”
“You are Korean.”
“yes…but-“
“please?”
.  Why does he have to pull the please?  Please shouldn’t even have been in this conversation.  Now I feel all bad.  I mean, I’m pretty sure there are girls lined up wanting to call him oppa.
“fine.”
“oppa.”
“oppa.”  And he flashed his huge smile and took my hand.
“But I am not doing the hand holding thing.”
He looked at me as if he was surprised.
“What?  I don’t like holding hands.”
Actually…I never really held hands with anyone before and just standing next to this gorgeous man makes me want to go crazy…holding his hand will not help at all.
“What kind of girl doesn’t like to hold hands?”
“I told you….I’m not like the other girls.”


We walked around for a bit, before…
Oh My Goodness…is that what I think it is?  Aunt Betsy’s tomato paste?  When  I was younger I loved to go to the farmer’s market just to get this tomato paste.  I made the best spaghetti with this paste, and this paste was the most famous in California.  
There was a huge crowd surrounding the booth to get a jar of the paste.
“I’ll be right back ….err….oppa.”
“Sure.”
I marched over to the booth and wiggled myself into the crowd to get a jar.  I needed it.  For old memories sake and I wanted to eat some spaghetti.  
“Excuse me!  I will like a jar please?”
“$10!”
“WHAT?  That is insane!  $5!”
“It will be $10. Take it or leave it.  I have a crowd missy.”
“Here is $5.  Give me a jar.”
“no.”
“Excuse me?”
“I said it was $10 woman.  Did you not hear me before?  Are you deaf Asian?”
“Look.  Give me the jar and I will leave right now.”
“Look girl-“
“here’s a ten.  Thank you.”  Jiyong gives a ten dollar bill to the jerk and the jerk gives him a jar of tomato paste.
“What? Don’t give the $10!  Him making that probably didn’t even cost a buck.”
“Let’s just go Amelie.”
And then he pulled me out of the crowd, walking briskly to the car.
“What your embarrassed?”
“….”
“Oh…I get it.  You thought it was embarrassing of me to bargain with the man over a jar of tomato paste that was just $10.”
“It was just $10.”
“It maybe have been just $10, but I’m not as rich as you.  I have to count every penny just to make it through everyday.  How could you think it’s embarrassing?”
 I was so angry by this point.  How could he think of it as something embarrassing?  If you wanted to get through life you have to bargain a little.  But I guess it was because he had so much of it, he didn’t need to bargain at all.  He got whatever he wanted.
“Lets stop talking about this. You’re blowing this out of proportion.”
“What my yelling is embarrassing you too?  Fine.   I’m going.  Goodbye.”
“The car is right there.  And what is wrong with you?  You’re not the girl I met yesterday.”
“What kind of girl was I?  A girl that could spend money like it’s water?  A girl who likes to steal jackets from men when it’s cold? A girl who likes to hold hands? This is how I am okay?!  I have no money to buy the fashion I work for everyday, I bargain for cheap things, and I am never going to be a skinny girl!”

I didn’t look back.  I ran as fast as I could away from him.  Tears started to rush down my cheeks, blinding me from where I was going.  But I didn’t care.  I ran and I ran until I felt my heart growing numb.  
And for a moment there I thought that this could be something.  I thought that he was this good guy that was so compassionate.  What was I thinking?  I got too comfortable around him.  I shouldn’t have showed him my real side.  I should have treated him the same way I did with everyone else.  Proper.  Responsible.  Quiet.  Only doing my job.  Taking everything in like a sponge and never spitting anything back out.

I took the bus and went home.