My speed is two times over the highway limit. But I can’t slow down. My purpose is important to me than a speeding ticket I might get. Cars pass by in bullet speed next to me and I turn from side to side to avoid any blocking vehicles. I know I’ll get scolded if he ever knew my speed right now but I know I won’t get into an accident; I know how to take care of myself. And after all, he isn’t here to witness this speed anyway.

He’s barely conscious as I’ve heard. I can’t say that I’m feeling better now that he’s found but a weight of pain and anxiety have certainly gone missing from my mind. There’s less pressure on me but what keeps disturbing me is the fact that he has suffered so much during this. I honestly don’t know if I can bring myself to see him with all those wounds. I might, I might run away.

Though there are hundred things circling in my mind I still safely arrive at the hospital. And no, I didn’t tell anyone yet because the doctor called me after he was sent there and here I am! I still silently curse at the doctor for taking hours to inform me.

I think I heard some vibrations while I was driving but I was too busy to care about them. As soon as I find a spot to park the car I get out of it immediately and close the door behind me very loudly. I don’t have time to care about Maseratis’ now. My rushed feet sprint to the hospital entrance and I literally blabber his name at the receptionist.

      “Pardon?” She asks.

      “Jung Min! Park Jung Min! Where is he?”

      “Let me check that for you sir”

      “Quick!” I snap.

      Yes I’m rude, I know. She doesn’t have to widen her eyes at me. C’mon woman, get used to it! This is a hospital; more severe patients and crazy visitors come here.

      “Room 67; take the elevator on your left to 11^th floor” She frowns.

      Just as the number registers in my mind I take off. No time to thank. The elevator takes forever to come down. I keep thinking whether to take the stairs or not. Well then I’d be exhausted anyway. My feet keep rocking back and forth as I wait. And as the elevator arrives I get in before anyone could come out or anyone could go in and hit 11. Everybody gives me a weird look; I couldn’t care less.

      It dings at the 11^th floor and I rush out.

      My hurried eyes keep searching for the room number jumping from one side to another. Oh there it is!

      Dang!

       And as expected I’m speechless.

He’s lying on the bed with an IV connected to the back of his hand. Heavy breaths and whimpers in between. His eyes closed completely and hair strands blocking his wounded face. Red marks all over his bare chest where he has been hit. A hundred plaster stripes all over the body on each blade cut. I notice the struggle he does to breathe. His chest must be hurting.

      I don’t even find the strength to move.

      “Ah Hyung Jun-ssi” Someone says behind my back.

      I don’t turn to see who it is. They come in front of me and talk to me face to face. But my eyes still locked on Jung Min; injured, hurt and struggling Jung Min.

      “The kidnappers have wounded him badly”

      A slight gasp from my side even though I’m seeing the wounds myself.

      He continues. “We discovered internal bleedings too so we had to operate him right away. I’m sorry for taking more than two hours to inform you” The doc takes out some file. “His body is stable now; heart-rate fine, temperature fine so please don’t worry”

      “Who… umm who brought him here?” I ask through a shaken voice.

      “We don’t know, maybe one of the kidnappers. Some people who saw the incident said that a van just pushed him out in front of the gate and left”

      “Pushed… him… out? With all these wounds?” I curl my eyebrows.

      “He’ll be fine. Just don’t try to tire him much”

      The doctor pats my shoulder twice and leaves. I’m left with shock, anger, rage and a strong impulse to take revenge. But from whom am I going to take revenge? I don’t know who the hell took him and what? Pushed him out of the van?

      I shake my head to get the image out of it. It’s disturbing and painful for me. He must have been in so much pain. How did he even manage to survive?

      I walk up to Jung Min with my trembling knees. So many blade cuts on his face and it’s too much to count on his chest. I can’t stand his whimpering. I can’t stand this pain he’s going through. It’s so much for me that my head feels like it’ll explode.

      “Ah” He wiggles his eyebrows and tightens his closed eyes.

      I can’t find my words, instead I just run my fingers through his hair being very careful whether his scalp is wounded or not. But I don’t feel any cuts there. Through the first few seconds he doesn’t even realize that someone is touching him. It makes me feel so depressed that he can’t even react to my touch or can’t recognize it.

      But I keep running my fingers through his silky hair strands. I gently massage his head working my hands all the way down to his neck. His neck isn’t cut everywhere. I gently rub his neck with my thumb.

      He tries to turn.

      “Jung Minah…” I whisper the words.

      They were forced and his name exited my mouth after a long attempt.

      “Mmm” That’s all he can say.

      “I’m here okay? You rest well” My words feel less pressured now.

      His reaction is calming me down. He parts his lips to say something but he can’t bring out his voice.

      “Just rest… I’ll be here” I say quickly before he tries the second time.

      I get the urge to cry but I don’t want to become the sentimental and emotional one right now. I need to stay strong; strong for him.

      He tilts his head to my side silently asking me to continue my massage. A smile covers my face. I haven’t smiled since the day he was gone. It was unbearable and I was dying each day slowly and slowly. If this took more than these three days then I might have completely shut down and they might have actually done something worse to Jung Min. No, no, I don’t want to imagine that.

      I rub his neck again and time to time his head too. He sighs with comfort and his lips roll up into a painful smile.

      The bottom of his body is covered with a white blanket. Will I be able to bare it if I see more wounds? I don’t know and I’m not sure. But he’s my Jung Min and I need to see him; I need to see what they have done to him.

      I muster up the courage and stand up.

      “Odi….ya?” He whispers in a barely managed voice.

      “Sshh”

      I walk up to his legs. As I try to remove the blanket Jung Min lifts his hand barely an inch and try to warn me. But he isn’t strong enough to get up and stop me. I ignore his trembling hand and uncover him.

      The sight stills me on the spot.

      Wounds… wounds and wounds. All cuts; deep cuts. I can tell from the bandage that they are deep cuts. His left knee is being supported by an iron cage. Right calf completely bandaged in more than a dozen of bandages. His toes all covered in slight blade cuts. His thighs have stitches; an uncountable number of stitches. My breathing heavier and I can’t help it anymore.

      “Jung Minah, you…” I look down and cry holding onto the footboard.

      “I… to-ld…you” He breathes the words.

      I sob so hard. I can’t even imagine the pain he has gone through. Why would those sinful creatures ever do this to my Jung Min? He has never hurt anybody and he has never said anything to anyone. Why couldn’t they come and take me? Why Jung Min? Why this angel? Why Why Why?

      “Ju…nah” He mumbles.

      I slightly look up through my sobs and gently place my thumb on his skin where he isn’t hurt. He flinches with fear but then relaxes. He knows I won’t hurt him. My tears are still streaming down my cheeks. I can’t hold them back.

      “I can’t stand this Jung Minah” My voice breaks. “I just can’t”

      “Ara…” His voice sounds so exhausted.

      I pace to his side again and drag the stool near the wall and sit down. He slowly looks at me with weary eyes. I notice the dark circles; he haven’t had any sleep at all.

      “You are… you are in pain right?” I ask through light sobs.

      He slowly shakes his head twice.

      “Don’t lie” I say.

      “You… are… here” The words barely escape his mouth.

      It makes me cry even more. His eyes hold so much love for me. “Just give me all your pain!” I shout through my tears and knock my head on the bed next to his arm.

      I feel him trying to touch me from his arm but he suddenly gasps. He can’t bear anything touching his wounds. Why does he even try?

      I look up at him finally. He’s still staring down at me with the same expression. I can cry through the whole day but I have to do one thing. And I know he wants it too.

      I bring my fingers to his wounded, red lips. He winces as I touch them but he gets used to the pain in a few seconds. I lean my face to his and place a gentle kiss on his lips.       

      I feel him fighting his pain and trying to kiss me back but he fails. It makes me smile but I immediately take my lips away. I don’t want to give more pain to him.

      I’d do anything, anything to take away that pain from him; from my Jung Min.