Jinki finds her in her room, alone, sitting on her bed with her manicured feet up, her arms hugging her knees. He's thankful that he's not away when it happens, because if he weren't there, he's sure she would've drunk her brains out and spent the night throwing up in the bathroom. The other girls would've told him to call her, then he would've called her and she would've turned a deaf ear to all his wise words, and he would've spent the next day trying to get it in her head that alcohol wouldn't solve your problems, Jessica. Why don't you just break up with him and be happy with me?

Oops. No, he wouldn't have the guts to say that last part.

So he enters the room and the mattress dips down a little bit as he sits down beside her on the bed. He looks at her but she doesn't look at him, and he knows she's mentally preparing for the scolding she's expecting to hear from him.

“What was it about this time?” he asks her gently. He isn’t really up to give a lengthy scolding when he can clearly see how down she seems to be. “How bad is it?” When she doesn't respond, he makes a lame attempt at a joke, “Is it still the same 'why do you have to spend so much time with Jinki when I'm supposed to be your boyfriend' kind of thing?”

Her lips tilt up in a small smile. “No, silly,” she starts. “He has no right to complain about anything anymore.”

Jinki raises an eyebrow at this. “Why?” he asks, inching closer to her. “What happened, ‘Sica?”

She closes her eyes, and her shoulders rise and fall as she takes a deep breath before answering, “I broke up with him.”

Her statement was straightforward, simple. He couldn't believe that after one whole year, trying to hide from the media, flirting and fighting and feeling together, all those sacrifices he's seen her make, and she breaks up with him? She had stubbornly told Jinki over and over, I love him too much, I can't let him go. And now...

Jinki isn't expecting this, not this soon. He should be happy, right? He's hoped before that Jessica will see sense someday. That day has come, but why isn't he happy?

“Careful, Jinki. You might drool over my sheets if you don't close your mouth.”

“Oh.” His hands reach up to scratch the back of his neck as he laughs nervously. “But, 'Sica, I thought...”

“I thought a lot about what you told me after our last fight,” she explains. “That the one I love is supposed to be the one who I run to, not who I run from.” She turns to him and shrugs. “More than half of the time, we're fighting. And when I don't see him for weeks at a time, I even forget what he looks like!” Jessica laughs, a laugh laced with sarcasm. “Tell me, Jinki, I did the right thing, didn’t I?”

Jinki regards her thoughtfully. “Are you sure about this?”

She nods with conviction. “Yes. I can see it all now,” she continues, looking away from him, a thoughtful look in her eyes. “Everything you said... it all made sense.”

An understanding smile creeps on Jinki’s lips. “If it makes you happy, ‘Sica...”

She smiles at him before saying, “I think I’m happy now, Jinki.”

It's his turn to chuckle. “If you told me that months ago, I wouldn't have believed you.”

“I know. I was an idiot for not listening to you before,” she says, smacking a palm to her forehead. “I thought I was going to be happy.”

“But you were miserable...”

“Exactly.” She nods at him in agreement. “I was wasting my time trying to save a relationship which was doomed to end in the first place.”

“Hey,” Jinki puts a comforting hand on her arm. “You don't have to sound so defeated. You tried your best to save the relationship, didn’t you? Maybe it’s just not meant to be.” He grips her arm firmly. “You're amazing, 'Sica. Donghae was just too blind to see that.”

She looks away shyly. “Sometimes I think you’re the only one who could see that.”

Yeah. Just like sometimes I think you’re the only one who couldn’t see how I feel for you.

Jinki grasps her shoulders gently and makes her look him in the eyes. “You are amazing,” he tells her slowly, letting every word sink in. “Any man would be lucky to have you. And if he doesn’t realize that, it means that he doesn’t deserve you. ”

“I am stubborn and ungrateful and insensitive,” she says. “Would you consider yourself lucky to have someone like me, Jinki?”

Jinki gulps. He hopes Jessica doesn't notice. “I would,” he answers truthfully, and he is rewarded with her smile, the same smile that always melts his heart a little bit more each time he sees it. “You deserve more than a hundred attempts at a relationship, ‘Sica,” he declares. “You deserve forever.”

To Jinki’s surprise, and utter delight, Jessica reaches for his hand and entwines their fingers together. She then plants a sweet, small kiss on his cheek ― small gesture of affection that Jinki will tuck in a corner in his heart for maybe forever. “Thank you, Jinki,” she says. “I love you.”

He knows that she doesn’t mean it ― not the way he wants it to mean, anyway. But this is Jessica, withdrawn and blunt and honest Jessica, and he knows that she never pretends to feel what she doesn’t truly feel.

“I love you too,” he whispers back.

He tucks her in, gives her a kiss on the forehead and whispers good night. He doesn't leave until she's fast asleep.

…

Jinki stops by the SNSD practice room moments after receiving a text message from Jessica reading are you free today?

He really is whipped; he admits it even to himself.

He watches as Yuri, Yoona, Hyoyeon, Seohyun and Jessica dance some really aggressive steps to some sort of upbeat song. Oh, hiphop, he realizes, watching Jessica intently. No wonder Hyoyeon looked so enthusiastic when she talked to Key about their comeback the day before.

Taeyeon enters the room, but before she goes to join the other girls, she stops beside Jinki and gives him a smile.

Jessica notices him then, and waves a hand enthusiastically. He gives her a small wave in return.

“When are you going to tell her?” Taeyeon asks, watching Jessica across the room.

It doesn't take a lot for him to understand what she means. “When she’s ready,” he says. He looks on as Jessica approaches them, a bright smile on her face. “Let’s just hope she figures it all out soon.”

“What if that takes a while?”

“I’ve waited long enough.” Jinki shrugs. “A little bit more waiting couldn’t hurt.”

Taeyeon gives him a smug smile before leaving him with one last threat. “Break her heart and we’ll break your bones.”

Jinki only let out a laugh as Taeyeon saunters away, Jessica now in her place.

“Hey,” she greets him.

She isn’t just looking beautiful today, Jinki takes note. She looks happy. “Hey,” he says back.

“There’s a new pizza parlor just a block away and I wanna try their pizza, so you have to come with me.”

She’s already grabbing her hand and pulling him out the door before he’s managed to murmur, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

…

Onew/Jessica ― it’s been a long year, and I’m finally ready to be here ♥