Its is really simple , when every step you takes may alter in perilous twist against you 

Its really plain , when every hope you depict in order your life become more " colorful" or perhaps more " meaningful" but it turn all fanciful.

Its really palable , when every choice you think was the best decision you 've made so far , is merely a stupid mistake .

Kai, you may view my 'peculiar' aura as an evident and appropriate solution as well substance  to your daily hardships that you may encounter an still strive for overcoming it and escalated to where perfection- which you-still- wrongly- believe its incarnated in my flawless , strong and brave personality ,an again which highly false understatement kai. 

Kai ; i may be looks like a successful man , with good grades , within well know prestigious uinversity , and surrounded by many friends ( believe me  not all of them can even deserve to be affinity with the

word" friend" ) and yes you may shyly remind me again that my good looking is the key to many locked doors...but no..my  dear kai ..no

Listen kai , do you remember the day when we first met , the day our deprived , hungery and lonely souls met , the day our pure and lucid starvation to climb the world highest ardous mountains  together just by the simple , trivial " Hi"..we couldn't say more , we couldn't utter one simple or further information to one another..and you know..discern that we were inwardly whinning , complaining and even hugging each other bruised hearts and shuddered obsucre believes evincevely ..just by one blatant utterance "Hi" .

You may found incomprehensible , that my hearts was bleeding , my souls were in desperate need for comfort solace , runaway to quiet safe shelter..and with your incredulous yet cute frown expression you thought alike ..someone incomparable like me couldn't even understand the the word " grief" or even taste the bitterness of " loneliness " ...but you did and i did .

" why me ?" , unpredictably from someone as cold yet meek like me , i was the first who confessed my mysterious sublim toward you , i don't know how or where i found such queer solmen courage to declare my needs to you , to submit to my humongous crash, to lie down my fuzzy feelings front of you , rather than showing off my strong facade ..i was totally annihilated front my pitiful yet giddy heart's calls.

and unpretentiously , you said "no" , with cracked roeful voice , you rejected me , me ...Luhnan , the ALMIGHTY PRINCE LU ..yeah at that time i was incredulous trying to enveil my sadness and discontent from your dazzling sight..i didn't want to admit the defeat much apparently my heart broken scap and gloomy , hideous appearance at that moment...but only after two weeks that start accepting the bitter truth trying to subvert  the vicious morose reality..my reality and i did understand you ..but only too late to hold your cold rough hand..

Being sorrowful or roefull will not fix a thing is rather it will reopen or worsen painful pangs and unhealed scars..thats why i tried ..sincerly , truly and genuinely tried to leave you alone..to let the time heal the undirect pain that i've effected upon such pure precious soul..but what can do but saying " i m sorry "..??

I m sorry that you 've to deal with such cruel heartless life ALONE , i m sorry that i  couldn't ease your bewildered agony since the moment i met you, i m sorry that my presence was further explanation and unwretched example of how rude and egotistic this life is..

I m sorry..for not telling how much i do love you but rather pushing you out of the edge playing dumb or cold front of you , just to save myself from humiliation or from the other mockery and irritated piercing stares..

I m sorry ..that  i was living for them, believing that my existence is part of there existence an that i should subordinate my lack of mores to their fake meekness, that every step i may take will be recognized , and acknowledged by there rare yet harsh comments , that i should work for them and with them in order to gain a bit of their contrived suffocated appreciation..

But i will never , ever feel or utter " sorry " for waking me up from such suffocated dazzing atmosphere , to gain back my senses , to feel my true existence and my meaningful rule among others..as one of them and not only part of them ..specail , distinguishable and one of my kind ..you opened my eyes to where earthly heave exist , you were my safe comfortable shelter , and you pure fresh air i breathed the moment my heart start throbbing inside my cold chest , the moments my blanch cheeks starting its pink rose color thanks to your sweet soft touches..the moment my lips taste sweets and candy when i uttered those three simple yet sacred words "i love  you".

Kai , let me help you this time , let me show you the real meaning of being alive , let me convince you that life worth fighting for , that your unendless piles of commitment will not heavy down your spirit but rather paint your dull life , cuz pains , sweats and salty tears , are those nasty unfavorable taste our body an soul distil just to remind us and prove to us that we are " alive " ..alive full of hope , love and genuine impulse to stand up and fight once again .together.

KAI make it simple to live your life , with great persistence and strong willingness , the life you've been eager to live , with those who let the time flies but with no regret or remorse but rather elated inedible content and peacefulness ecstasy and satisfactory ..don't be like those who may sound content with plain straightforward goal , devoted to engulf their heartless animalistic bodies with primitive wicked desires an selfish goals..

Remember kai  ..its yours ..its only yours kai .   

p.s : your stupid deer , is still waiting for your reply..so please don't make him wait too much . 

gif cr: xiuuup

pic not mine cr: owner