"I can’t be saved. " 
Her words struck cold in him.

"W-what? "

"Don’t make me repeat myself, " she snapped. 
Her voice was quivering, tears were threatening to spill over.

She hates crying. He knows. 
She thinks it makes her look weak. 
But she is weak now… She’s.. Is about to face the big D that both of them is afraid of.

"I…mean.. Why? I thought it was gone?! " his voice was slightly raised. It was an outrage. How hard they fought at her previous treatments with daily consumption of medication, chemotherapy, and how this malicious growing cells drain the life out of his girlfriend.

She closed her eyes. 
Her body framed curled up, into a ball. She was shaking. 
He wasn’t sure if it was for fear, or for tears. 
But his heart ached, it wasn’t just aching, but more. It was like the cells has eaten him alive too. He felt his limbs torn apart, he felt his heart lifelessly beating.

"I don’t know." she whispered. 
It was soft and vulnerable. 
Exactly how both of them, well, she felt. He closed his eyes and gave a gulp.
There was nothing he could do about it. Nothing.

"Jaki… What did he say?" he asked softly. 
Times like this, loudness never get anything across well.

He heard her sobbing, the sound of her fears and worries, her drifting thoughts, and scary imagination. He gritted his teeth. He has to be strong. For her.

"H-he said.." her sobbing made everything incomprehensible, he inched his way forward to have a better hear, he didn’t want to make her repeat any of her words. 
“I’m at stage 4.” she solemnly blurt out the last few words. The words that ignite the start of worries and fears.

He just hugged her. 
It was a quiet moment. 
Her soft sobs interject the deafening silence. He cringed his face in the weirdest position to control his emotions. No crying. Not in front of her. 
Even if the news seems bleak, anything is possible. 
They will get through this. 
They will.

"B-ba-by.." she cried. 
“Yes?” he tried to clear his throat to make his words sounds convincingly firm.

"I’m scared…" she gave a loud sob at the end. 
He bit his lips hard. He repeated his patting gesture on her back. 
“Don-” 
“I’m scared to leave” she cut his words.

And there isn’t anything he could say to make her feel better.
Ultimately, she would still be facing the doors of death herself. 
He wasn’t that mighty anymore to be her pillar of support like always. 
This was about life and death.

A test where only she can do it.

"I’m here. " he replied softly. 
“I’m scared!!! ” she wailed.

She had never once showed her weak side to him. 
He was dumbfounded at this situation. 
He didn’t know what to do.

"Jaki.. I’m here" He started out convincingly calm, "I know.. it will be tough. It undoubtly will be tough and painful" his voice was shaking. 
“but..we will get through this. I promise you. ”

"HOW?! HE SAID I CAN ONLY LIVE FOR THREE MORE MONTHS! THREE MORE MONTHS!"

That was the last straw, tears flood his eyes.
three months.

That… time period seems so frightening.

"I.." 
“You know it! I’LL BE GONE! ” 
She’s frustrated. She is. Its all right.

"And… I’LL NEVER GET TO BE BACK HERE. GONE. G-O-N-E
DO YOU GET IT?! “

"STOP THIS! " He raged.
He held her from a distance to have a good look at her face. 
“LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! ” He insisted, and when she failed to comply, he harshly made her face him with his fingers.

"WE-WILL-GET-THROUGH-THIS!" He clearly enuciated every word. 
“WE! “
She closed her eyes.

"Three months later, we will be smiling" 
She gave an unconvincing scoff. 
“We will be walking down the parks at night” 
She bit her lips down harshly. 
“We will… “ his voice is trembling, 
“we will reach the end of the park,” 
He cleared his throat. 
“I will bend down on one knee” 
She gave a loud sob. 
He gave a chuckle before letting his loving gaze land on her. He waited patiently for her to return the gaze, and when she did,

“And I’ll ask you, ” 
a small smile grew on her face. 
” Why don’t you wear the sneakers anymore? ”

Her smile grew into a soft laugh, “Mwo?! ”

He grinned and pull her into his arms.

“Because I can’t tie shoelaces when you’re wearing heels. ” 
She laugh. 
The most angelic voice of laughing he has ever heard. 
He finally made her laugh.

“You silly boy, I thought you were-” 
“-going to propose?” 

He pulled back and gave her a smirk along with a raised eyebrow.

She shyly looked down, “..noo…” she replied softly.

He chuckled, “Goood! Don’t think, just feel my love for you now. Can you feel my heart pumping for you?” 
He said as he hugged her again.

She giggled, “Are you going to sing 2pm’s Heartbeat?! ”

He grinned, “Do you want me to?”

"Noooo! You sing horribly! " she teased.

"Heyyy!! I DON’T! " He hugged her tighter.

“Ahhh! Stop stop!” she was being tortured by his crazy tickling.

He finally stopped. He was gently carressing her hair, then he trailed down to her cheeks. 
“You’re beautiful. ” 
There was no better way to hear it than through his mouth. 
He seems to add honey, sugar and maybe a little sprinkles and chocolate chips to every word he says.

She blushed. 
She propped herself up and pressed her lips against his. 
And he took it instinctively. 
It was so slow and so much love. 
Two people feeling sorrowful at the upcoming reality. 
Forced to be separated between Life and Death.

"I.." he said in between taking in breaths,.
“will never” he gave a light peck
“let you go. ” he captured her lips again.
"I promise. "  

"Me Too.." She whispered back.




Three months. 
Wasn’t long, nor was it short. 
He accompanied her through. 
Every single treatment. 
He practiced harder than before.  He slept lesser than before. 
He made sure he was there all beside her. 
He was mentally exhausted, physically exhausted. 
But he kept chanting to himself, 

" She must be feeling more in pain than me " when he almost sprained his ankle when he was practicing. 
" She must be feeling more tired than me. " when his eyes was drooping. 
" She needs me.. " even though he was already in a worst shape than he has already been. 

Every time he visited her,  she was asleep. 
He patted her head, which was already bald from the treatment. 
Her skin was so pale. 
Even if she was awake, her eyes didn’t glittered like before. 
But,.. one thing.. 
She always smiled when she sees him. 
She always sees him when she wakes up, 
" Don’t you go to practice? " she asked one day as she tried to prop herself up, he immediately attend to her wants. 
" I am now. " he winked at her, and used the reflection to monitor his dance moves. 
She gave a weak giggle. 


When he turned around,… 
She was already asleep, in that upright position. 

His heart ached. 

" Please get well my love. " 
He whispered to her as he planted a kiss on her lips. 

His lips was pursed into a fine line to suppress the growing aching feeling inside. 
How much pain his Jaki is going through.. 
"Please.. " he wasn’t begging to anyone in particular. 
Just.. for her pain to end. 



The final treatment, his last memory of her was her in white hospital clothes. 
Her head was wrapped with the familiar white beanie he bought for her. 
He has forgotten how she looks like when they first met. 
He only remembers this scary and horrible period. 

"I’ll be back.. " she tries to say as loud as she could. 
She was lying on the white hospital sheets. 
" Keep your promise. " he replied simply. 
He managed a bright smile. 

"Wait… " she stopped the doctors. 
He raised an eyebrow and ran to her immediately. 

"Why why? " he questioned. 

"Can you keep a promise too? " she managed a weak smile. 
"Anything for you dear. " he smiled lovingly. 

"Stay at the end of the park. " she whispered back. 
It took every of her last energy to say that. 
With that, she relaxed her muscles and laid back down. 

"W-what? " He stared at her. 

She gave him an assuring smile and reached for his hand. 
"Promise? " 
She tried to find his little finger to hook her pinky with. 
She gave him a glance when she managed to finger out his pinky. 

He bit his lips. 
He closed his eyes, ” I promise. ” 
He replied solemnly. 

And.. even though there were so many people walking by.. 
Passing by that exact scene.. 
He just did what his heart told him. 


He leaned down, and gently pressed his lips against hers. 
This may be their last kiss. 
Last kiss. 



She was already weak, so he took the lead. 
It wasn’t more than lips contact, but it was love.. 

Both of them oblivious to the future, this.. will be the start of everything. 
If the final treatment works, this will be the start of a better everything. 




And, she was rolled into the operation room. 
He stood there. 
She lightly raised her head, and images of her was still appearing as the glass door flapped in and out. 

And she raised her pinky lightly at him. 
He nodded back. 
She laid back down. 


" Please.. " His lips managed to say something after some time. 

There was a huge part of him wanting to kneel down there… 
But there was a stronger urge in him to keep his promise. 

He wiped the stray tears stained on his face that he had just realised. 

He took a step closer to the door of the hospital. 
Every thing felt so cold all of a sudden. 

People… felt like passing sticks. 
He didn’t take notice of them. 
He didn’t know what to think. 
Should he think for the good.. or the bad?
Should he think about the past,…. or the future? 
He didn’t know what to imagine. 
A future without her. 
Or a future with her. 
He would love to drown himself in the pretty future with her. 
Then… they say with expectations comes disappointments. 


He took a turn and found himself at the park already. 
He was staring at his feet. 
One step out.. another feet appearing. 
His heels lifted and move forward. 
His shoe pressed against the rough ground and form creases on his leather shoe. 
The shoelaces flew with the rhythm of his every step. 
He gave a soft chuckle. 
He wasn’t sure of the reason. 
But wasn’t it good to be chuckling for no odd reason? 
At least,… he’ll be noticing more of life’s small details now. 

He gave a huge deep sigh and shoved his hands in his pockets. 
He took a glance at the surrounding.. 
People walking around. 
Some were couples. 
Some were children. 
Some were elderly. 
Some were heartbroken. 
Some were crying.. 
Some were excited. 
Some were smiling. 

How should he be feeling? 

The walk to the end of the park ought to be with her. 
He took out his right hand from the pocket, and imagine he was holding her hand. 
He was about to drown himself in that fear that this may be a habit in the future, but he forced himself to think positively again.

He sighed and shoved his hands back in. 

Why did she want him to walk to end of the park himself…? 
He pouted. 

How can she play tricks at such moments. 
"What moment?" a soft voice in his head asked. 
" The moment of life and death.. " he softly voiced out. 


He went back to stare at his feet again…  

He reached the end of the park. 
He grabbed the bench nearby. 
The last few steps to end of the park.. 
The last few steps they must walk there together. 


He lowered his head and fiddled with his fingers. 
He sighed and stared at his phone. 
Only an hour has passed as he tried to spend this slow slow time alone. 
He was controlling the thoughts in his head. 

Maybe he should dance.. or sing. 
A distraction. 
Maybe… 

He got up and tried to recall his steps. 
He mentally hummed the music in his head. 
He moved to the beat as he had memorised them. 

And when he was done.. he was already perspiring. 
He slumped back down in his seats. 

He started at the trees in the park. 
He glanced at every leaves that hung on the branches. 
He pictured her face as he closed his eyes. 





"YongGuk. " 
Her voice.. 
Her voice… 
HER VOICE!? 

His eyes sprang open. 
He had fell asleep. 
He felt his shoulders being shaked. 
He took in the surroundings, the night has fallen. 

Someone stood beside him. 
”____? ” he fearfully asked. 
A familiar giggle rang.   

Someone tapped his shoulder from behind. 
Moonlight shone and beautifully framed her face.. 

It was her. 
"Y-you? " 

"Yah! Is that how you call me? " she was pouting. 

Tears were flying out like there’s no tomorrow. 

" I’ll leave you both to have some time alone, I’ll be sitting over there.. " her nurse called out. 

She responded, but he was still stunned. 

"Y-Ya—-" 
He pulled her in for a hug. 
She was on a wheel chair. 
He was careful not to hurt her. 


"Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you.. " those words ran out of his mouth. 

" Thank you.. " he said the last time with most emotions. 

" Pabo.. " she teased. 

"Thank you for keeping your promise. " his voiced croaked as tears got in the way. 

" You too.. " she said softly. 

There was silence as the reality sinks in. 
Three months. 
They made it. 
They made it. 

She was saved. 
She is saved. 
She will be saved. 

He let his knees crashed on to the floor. 

" ____" He looked into her eyes. 

"Wait. " She cut him. 

She took out a velvet box. 

"Will you marry me? " She opened the box and there laid two rings. 
Two rings for both of them. 

"W-w… " he couldn’t speak. 

"No? " she asked disappointedly. 

"YESYESYES! " He exclaimed. 

She giggled. 

" I thought you were really going to ask me why I am not wearing sneakers.. " she started as he was hugging her, " So… " she pulled back to break the hug. 
She wiggled her feet as she showed him. 
"I wore them. " 

He chuckled. 

He cupped her face and pressed her lips on his. 
And when they broke the sensual kiss, he whispered: 

" I am only going to ask you to marry me, but you beat me to it, 
So.. can I ask you if I can.. no.. 
I am going to tell you that I will, I am and is loving you forever. “ 


"I Promise. "