“Even I don’t know myself... In fact, I don’t know if I really have a self at all, as I’m constantly playing different roles and pretending – not so much on stage as in real life...” 
― Simona Panova, Nightmarish Sacrifice

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A man with many faces

Look at that glossy wind-swept hair, angular jaw line and those sharp eyes. He looks so hot.... I just want fly over there and feel those well toned thighs and arm muscles. And the abs, let's not forget about the chocolate abs. God, the way he rides that broomstick of his, I can just imagine him in-

“Whatcha doing?” Hakyeon loomed over Ken's shoulder, trying to get a glimpse of what his friend was looking at as he popped a chocoball into his mouth.

“Eyef***ing my boyfriend.” He answered, eyes never leaving his omnioculars. Ken was determined not to let anyone disrupt his 'Leo-watching', not even his friends.

“The captain of Slytherin's quidditch team?”

“No, the captain of Hogwart's book club.” Ken said sarcastically. Shooing off his friend with his right hand, he continued, “Go bother Ravi will you? I'm busy.”

Ignoring the disgruntled sounds and whines made by Hakyeon, Ken zoomed in on the small figure darting around the field with his omnioculars, making sure to replay the moment when Leo scored another goal. He could feel a wave of pride rise within him each time he replayed it, though he would never admit it to Leo.

Looking back, he never expected to end up in a relationship with Leo, it surprised him. He had only dated girls before Leo entered his life, albeit they never lasted past the first week, they just didn't seem interesting anymore after a few days. Leo on the other hand, never failed to amaze Ken every time they hung out after they began dating. It was only when he looked at the calender did he realize that it has been almost a month since the day at the astronomy classroom, since he went out with Leo. 33 days if you counted their first encounter at the 'Ravenclaw VS Slytherin' quidditch match.

Many people would say it was a meeting of fate, that if Leo hadn't got slugged by a blugder and if Ken didn't appear in the hospital wing to accompany Hakyeon, they would never have met.

Ken, however, begged to differ....

…

A man with many faces is what his friends like to call him. His close friends of course, not those groups of followers whose names he can't be bothered to know, they definitely did not know his true nature, whatever they see is one of Ken's many personas. ( At least that is what he hopes they see.)

Being the top student in his year and son of a respected wizard and famous songstress, it was natural for people to form their own image of Ken. They expected him to be smart, to be well-mannered, friendly, approachable, a role model like his father, to be a prefect and later on Head Boy, to be sing beautifully like his mother and the list goes on. And Ken's job was to fulfill those expectations of theirs. Over the years, he was proud to say that he created over 20 different personas to meet each and every expectation. If someone expected him to be a leader, he will take charge of the situation and accomplish it successful, making sure to exude charisma, responsibility, tenacity etc, etc. If someone thought of him as everybody's best friend, he will be the one that stands by you through the highs and lows, he will be the one that everyone goes to to confine in. If someone believe he was the ideal boyfriend, he will bring to life every single girl's romantic dreams. You get the idea.

Ken knew that in a way he was pretentious as he switched his masks. He was probably the biggest fake in Hogwarts, even worse than his followers. Polite and friendly on the outside but sarcastic and rude on the inside, judging everyone behind the whole facade. It didn't irk him in any way at first, he was surrounded by many people just like him, two-faced (or multiple-faced if you are Ken). If they can do it to me, so can I. Was a sentence he used to comfort himself whenever he doubted what he was doing. Thoughts like: 'I'm losing myself. I can't remember the last time I acted naturally among people, no pretense, no masks, no personas. S-should I stop? Would I be a let down for not meeting people's expectation if I did? I'm so tired of this.' Were pushed out of his mind as he constantly repeat that sentence. It was kind of like his life's motto. It gave him strength to carry on with this act but only for so long.

And definitely, he was feeling the strain already as he recently got stuck with this particular group of students. Professor McGonagall had asked for his assistance to aid this group in their academic studies since they've been failing every single subject they took and it just so happened that Ken takes exactly the same subjects as them and aced all of it. Thus, she saw it as the perfect combination. He could even remember the exact words she said. “Mr Lee, these students really need a lot of help, I hope that by studying and spending some time with you, it will have a positive effect on them. You will help them right?” Giving him one of her famous pointed looks, there was no way she was taking no as an answer.

I should have jumped down a cliff when I had the chance. Was was the exact thought he had as he soon found out that he was stuck with a bunch of students who not only were ridiculously horrible in studying but were the biggest gossipers in Hogwarts.

…

Today, they were gossiping about the recent scandals which in this case was A, who magically altered her appearance over the holidays, (coming back with bigger eyes and a straighter nose) while the class waited for Snape to arrive. Ken had tuned out completely mainly because A's appearance did not concern him, it was her life not his. He had enough on his plate.

Ken had been busy doodling on his potions textbook when he felt someone nudged him. Slipping on his I'm-dying-to-know-what's-so-important-that-you-have-to-disract-me-from-defacing-my-textbook mask, he looked up and faced whoever was nudging him. It was one of the girls in the gossiping group and she was leaning in way too close for Ken's liking.

Girl, do you not know what personal space is?

“He's looking at you again.”

“Who?” Slipping on his confused mask.

“Him.” She flicked her eyes towards the back of the classroom, her voice was filled with distaste and a trace of fear.

Ken flicked his eyes towards the same direction and spotted a tall athletic boy sitting 2 rows behind him, looking discreetly at him over the top of his own textbook. Although most of his face was covered by the book, there was no mistaking those pair of sharp eyes. They belonged to Leo, the newly elected captain of Slytherin's quidditch team, famous for his killer throws. He was one of the few people that didn't flock to Ken. Most Slytherins did not flock to him anyway, they probably could see through his facade from miles away. He would stay far away too if he were them.

“Why is he looking at you like that? Doesn't he know its rude to stare?” She continued.

As if I would know. I didn't noticed him until 2 minutes ago.

“Seriously, he's been doing that for ages, its so creepy! Did you piss him off or something? You should know better than to mix with Slytherins, they're a troublesome bunch. And he's the worst!” She chided him, shaking her head disapprovingly.

Sorry mother. Ken snapped back in his head. Who was she to lecture him? He barely knew her.

“I'll be sure to watch out then.” Ken plastered on his sincere mask.

…

Indeed he did. Throughout the whole day, he became hyper-sensitive of Leo. He could feel Leo's heated gaze on him in the Grand Hall and in the hallways and every time he turned around, he noticed Leo would look away, bangs covering his sharp eyes.

It was at this that something in Ken snapped, he was getting frustrated due to pitying glances people gave him for supposedly getting on Leo's bad side after that girl from from the followers (AKA the group of students he had to help because they seemed to follow him around all day long even if there's no need to. They apparently took it upon themselves to be christened as Ken's 'best friends') so kindly told everyone about. Ken had no idea why Leo kept glaring at him at all. There was no way he could have offended him since they never spoke to each other before. So why? Why does he keep doing that?! Ken mentally screamed in his head as he watches Leo look away for the nth time. He was just about to walk over and give Leo a piece of his mind when an idea came to him, it based of his life motto and it was even better than yelling at Leo.

It's time to give Leo a taste of his own medicine.

Hence, Ken began formulating a plan.

…

“You're early today.” Hakyeon sat down beside him on the quidditch stands along with Ravi. He had to shout over the noise the Ravenclaw and Slytherin students were making. “Man, its been long since we last talk, I was worried you forgotten about us with your little tutoring group stuck to you and all.”

Ken had woken up early today to get prime seats at the quidditch stands, some where that Leo would be able to see him clearly. The plan was simple, just like how Leo has been watching him, Ken will do the same thing. He would stare so hard, burning holes in Leo's head, making him feel extremely uncomfortable. And what better way to start than on Leo's first quidditch match as captain.

“There is no way in hell, I'll ever exchange you for them as friends. Besides, I just wanted to get prime seats.” Ken's eyes gleamed mischievously, he was excited to see how his plan will turn out. Although the majority of him was jubilant to slip past the followers today.

Unlike the rest of his peers, Hakyeon and Ravi were the only 2 people in Ken's life besides his parents that he could drop all the pretense with and he was so thankful for it. They saw through him immediately and reached out instead on fleeing. With them, he was himself again.

“You have something up your sleeves don't you? I don't like how your eyes are gleaming.” Hakyeon eyed his friend suspiciously.

“What? I don't understand what you mean.” Ken widened his eyes innocently.

“Drop the act, it doesn't wo-”

“Welcome one and all to the first quidditch match of the year! I'm your commentator, Park Chanyeol and today's going to be an awesome match between RAVENCLAW AND SLYTHERIN!!!!!!!!!! COME ON, LETS HEAR THOSE CHEERS!!!!!!!!” A lanky Gryffindor with big ears that stick out of his head screamed enthusiastically into the microphone, riling the respective houses to create even more noise.

Urgh, I think I'm going deaf. Why did they give Chanyeol a mic, his voice is already loud enough as it is.

“Hahahahaha, that's the spirit! Let's welcome the members from Ravenclaw and Slytherin!” On cue, both members of the team, walked onto the field and faced each other. Ken could tell they were sizing each other up as they stared silently at their opposing team. Once both the captains had shook hands, the whistle was blown and both team kicked off from the ground and into the air. It was time to put his plan into action.

Ken's eyes followed where ever Leo went, it was hard not to. Leo was fantastic at quidditch, immediately scoring goal after goal for Slytherin the moment the match started. Leo was a professional. The Ravenclaw keeper had no chance against Leo, failing to block any of the quaffles Leo threw through the goals. Before he knew it, Ken was cheering fervently along with the crowd, hooting whenever Leo scored. His plan, to make Leo uncomfortable completely forgotten until he noticed Leo slowly halting to a stop in front of Ken, mouth forming an O shape.

Oh right, the plan... I almost forgot about it. Er okay okay, calm down, Ken. Just stare into his eye like planned.

Come on you can do it- What?

Ken was confused. It was nothing like he expected, he imagined eyes filled with loathing and disgust....

not panic.

Yet here was Leo gaping at Ken, pupils shaking, eyes blinking rapidly with a tinge of pink creeping up his cheeks. Leo looked close to a mental breakdown.

Woah, who knew I was that good at making someone uncomfortable.

“Captain look out!”

Everything unfolded before Ken in slow motion. He saw Leo turn his head back, eyes still blinking rapidly. Then, Crack! the sickening sound of broken bones rang loud and clear in Ken's ears as Leo stiffen in pain before promptly slumping sideways, fingers losing their grip on the broom. Unconscious.

He's going to fall.

Immediately bolting from his seat, Ken rushed forward, pushing past students that were rooted to their spot in horrors the scene in front of them, to get a perfect aim on Leo cast a levitating spell on him before he fell. It was too late, just as Ken took aim, Leo slid off his broom, free falling to the ground. Some students screamed in fright, hands covering their eyes. All of them fearing for the sound of more broken bones when Leo hits the ground. Ken felt his knees weakened. This is my fault...

“Students, settle down!” A voiced boomed. Everyone turned their attention towards the commentator stand to see a witch dressed in emerald robes, wearing square spectacles glaring sternly at them. It was Professor McGonagall. “There is no need to panic, Professor Snape has slowed down Mr Jung's fall and brought him safely to the Hospital Wing where he will receive treatment. Yes Mr No, he's alive and in one piece.” She answered tersely before the Slytherin seeker could say his question. “The match will resume again once everyone has settled back in their seats.”

“Hey, are you okay?” Ken felt a hand rest on his shoulder, he didn't need to turn a round to know it was Ravi. There was no mistaking that deep voice of his.

“Yeah, I'm okay. Just a bit shaken like everyone is.” Ken let Ravi guide him back to their seats where Hakyeon was waiting.

The match resumed shortly, with the Slytherins working extra hard to make up for their missing star player. The atmosphere in the stands revived with students shouting cheers for their favorite team. But Ken was not in the mood anymore, he couldn't stop thinking about what just happened. The familiar feeling of guilt seeping into him once again. It was his fault, if he hadn't distracted Leo, the accident would never happen.

This was not what I planned.

He would have to visit Leo to make sure he's alright. He had to.

…

“That was some match huh? The great Leo has finally fallen! Literally. Hahahaha!”

“Did you see how he was just hovering in the air, with his mouth opened up. He looked like a fish!”

“A disgrace to captains, I say! Taking a break while his teammates played.”

“He totally deserved that hit for stalking Ken!”

A chorus of 'yes' and nodding of heads followed shortly.

They're at it again. Ken thought angrily. His hand trembling from gripping his quill hard. They were sitting in the library doing their work (well, Ken was) when the subject of Leo's accident came up.

“Don't you agree Ken?” All of his followers turned their heads, staring expectantly at Ken.

“Nobody deserves to get hit.” He replied quietly.looking at them in the eye coolly. He still felt guilty for distracting Leo, especially when he recalled those sharp eyes, those inky orbs filled with panic.

“Oh yes, Nobody deserves to get hit! Nobody.” They simpered, all earnest to get into his good books.

Disgusting.

“Hey Ken!” Ravi had walked up to Ken, blatantly ignoring the rest of the people at the table. “Professor McGonagall is looking for you. You should go see her. NOW.”

“Sure.” Eager to get away, he packed up his things and headed for the door with Ravi, without a second glance at the followers. The usual strings of criticism followed shortly.

“What's his problem?”

“Doing his model student preaching crap again.”

“I heard from someone he had something to do with that Slytherin's accident. He saw both of them having a stare down that's why the Slytherin couldn't see the bludger.”

“Nobody deserves to get hit. HA! A load of bull! I can't believe he said that with a straight face when he was the mastermind. What a liar.”

Gritting his teeth, he continued walking forward. He won't confront, he couldn't. Everything they said was true. He was fake, the number of mask he wears to cover up his real thoughts proved it. It was even more true that he was at fault for distracting Leo. He deserved it.

“Okay that's it. Hold on Ken, I'm going back. I need to hit them in the face.” Swerving around, Ravi pulled his sleeves up, preparing to march right up and smack the life out of them.

“Stop it Ravi, just ignore them.” Ken grabbed hold of Ravi's arm immediately. “Please.”

Seeing how his friend was downright depressed already without him making the situation even worse, Ravi sighed frustratedly. “Fine, I'll have you know I'm only listening this time round because you said please, a word that is rare in Ken language. You hear me? The next time they do this, I will punch every single one of them. I can't believe you let them walk over you like that! If you want, I could ask Professor McGonagall to give the job to someone else?”

“I can't, Professor McGonagall is counting on me. I can't disappoint her. Besides if I did quit, they'll have even more things to b**** about me and its all true. What's there to argue about? I will just be showing my true colors if I did. Then everyone will know I'm a pretentious bastard...All my hard work this whole will be wasted.”

“Ken, you do not have to please everyone. You are going to lose yourself if you continue on. As your friend, I don't want to see you so miserable.” Ravi patted Ken's shoulder, face knotted up in worry. When he saw that Ken was not going to reply. He sighed. “We should hurry, Hakyeon's going to get a sugar rush again if we leave him alone for too long.”

“Wait, what about Professor McGonagall?”

“Who said anything about Professor McGonagall?” Ravi winked knowingly.

Oh.

“Thanks Ravi, I was so close to puking at their antics. I will make it up to you someday.”

“No probs, that's what friends are for~” Ravi sang the last few words loudly and off-key.

“Please stick to rapping.”

…

Just like Ravi said, Hakyeon had been feasting on his sweets (it was pepper imps this time) as he sat waiting for them at the entrance door. Judging by the white smoke was pouring steadily out of his ears and nose like the Hogwarts express and a wild look in his eyes. He was beyond any doubt, crazily high on sugar. A group of first years giggled at the hilarious sight as they walked by.

“What took you so long? I've been waiting for ages!” Hakyeon lunged at them, wrapping his arms around both Ken and Ravi's necks, putting his whole weight into it causing them to lose their balance and fall down with a loud thud.

“Come on! Times a wasting! Let's go! let's go! let's go! I want to play at least 10 rounds with my brand new fanged frisbee this afternoon!” Hakyeon quickly untangled himself from the pile of limbs, jumping up and down wiping out his frisbee and waving it around madly. Perhaps he may have used a bit more strength than needed because the next thing that happen was that the frisbee thrown out of the castle and onto the top of a nearby tree.

“MY FRISBEE!!!!” Screamed Hakyeon as he tore after it leaving his friends, groaning on the floor.

“Should have confiscated those sweets when I had the chance.” Ken muttered darkly while accepting Ravi's outstretched hand.

“There have been worst cases, believe me.”

…

When they arrived, the two boys found their hyper friend stuck on a thin looking branch that was on the verge of breaking. With the fanged frisbee just a hair's breadth out of reached,snarling.

“Help.....” Hakyeon whimpered, his fingers tightened their grip on the branch.

“Honestly Hakyeon, you could have just used Accio to get your frisbee back. You are a wizard.” Ken rolled his eyes as he whipped out his wand, pointing it at the green dish. “Accio fanged frisbee!”

On command, it zoomed straight into Ken's raised sleeve covered hand. He wasn't going to get bitten by that stupid toy, he had enough trouble for the day.

“You can come down now.” Ravi called out.

“B-but I'm stuck! Ow! I got a splint-Argh!”

“Hakyeon!”

It was like a scene out of those muggle movies, Where the male protagonist (Ravi) throws his body down to the ground to catch his crush before she (in this case, he as in Hakyeon) falls and hurts herself while the spectator (Ken) stare agape from a far. But really, Ken wasn't all that afraid as he had been in the morning with the accident involving Leo since Ravi would have readily give up his soul on a silver platter to save his oblivious crush.

Speaking about Leo, I need to visit him, but what should I used as my reason for visiting? Hi, I'm responsible for distracting you with my intense stare during today's match. No, there was no way I could say that without getting er-punched in the face. But then again, I deserve it right?

“Are you hurt?” Ravi caressed Hakyeon's face, eyes scanning over to search for injuries.

“Splinter in left thumb.” Hakyeon sobbed.

A splinter?

“Don't worry, I'll pulled it out in a jiffy, you won't a single thing.” Ravi gently brought Hakyeon's thumb closer to eye level, fingers reaching to pull the offending tiny piece of wood out. Only to have Ken grabbed Hakyeon's hand, pulling him away.

“Wait! I'll bring Hakyeon to the hospital wing, er so that Madam Pomfrey can fix him up. Don't worry, Ravi I'll bring him back in one piece. And er, I promise never to block you ever again!” He called over his shoulder, ignoring complaints for man-handling from Hakyeon as he hurried to the Hospital wing. Leaving a stunned Ravi under a tree covered with fallen leaves and grass stains.

…

The hospital wing was quiet as usual when they arrived. A few beds were occupied by students from various houses and years as seen by the silhouettes behind the curtains that provided privacy for the patients. Striding forward, he gently lowered (for the Ravi's sake) a whimpering Hakyeon in front of Madam Promfrey and quickly explained to her what happened to his friend, making sure to replace the fanged frisbee with a ball instead in his explanation since the frisbee was supposed to be banned in Hogwarts and any in possession should be confiscated by prefects, before setting off to find to find Leo.

He managed to find him at the end of the room, like the others, the curtain was drawn up, shielding him from the outside. Ken could hears voices behind the curtain:

“I took it upon myself as your one and only friend to inform you on the situation. Now that think about it, why did you blank out during the match? Minah said she saw you hovering in the middle of the field just gaping at the crowd. Did you spot something or someone? Hmmmmm?”

“Wha- Nononononononono, I just felt a bit light headed.”

The first voice belonged No Nakun, Slytherin's seeker. Ken easily recognized that drawl from the many times Snape asked him to answer in potions. The second voice though was unfamiliar, if Ken had not listened to the conversation he would not have known it belonged to Leo. That soft, tender voice did not match his appearance at all and intrigued Ken.

I need to hear more of it. Ha, I can't believe I just thought of that. What's wrong with me?

Discreetly grabbing a box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans from the next ward with its sleeping owner. Ken steeled his nerves and stepped in.

Thank god, he's well. Was Ken's first thought once he got a good look at the captain. He was lying on the bed with his head propped up with a big stark white pillow. His torso was exposed except for his chest that was bandaged up.

Are those abs? They're so well defined...

Nakhun was seated next to where Ken was standing with a book in his hands and a smirk that made Ken squirm uneasily.

You can do this, Ken. Put on your friendly mask like you always do.

And so he did.

“Hey, sorry for interrupting. I just wanted to stop by to see how you're doing with the bludger smashing into you and all, while my friend gets fixed up. Hey Nakhun.”

*Croak* A frog like noise came out of Leo's mouth.

Taking a few steps forward, he the box of beans in front of Leo and smiled.

“I'm Ken from your potions class, you sit 2 rows behind me. By the way, want some beans?”

Wow, that's so smooth, Ken. Urgh, what's happening to me?

As Ken waited for a response, he could see Leo opening his mouth, bursting to say something only to close it again. This was not the only thing Ken noticed, similar to the scene during the quidditch match, Leo's face was starting to flush and his eyes widened too. Although Ken was thankful to see that panic was not in them now, instead they were filled with something else.

Is it fondness? No, that's not it. It's definitely something more deep. Desire? Yeah, there's no doubt about it, must be des-Ah...

Ken felt his cheeks beginning to heat up as well, as the realization hit him. From the years of creating and switching masks, it was natural for him to be able to read people especially their reactions and body language towards him so that he could react accordingly with the appropriate personas. Thus, Ken was 100% sure he was right about Leo's attraction towards him.

“I'm- sure, I love Bertie Bott's Beans. Wait, no, I mean, I was going to say I'm Leo, captain of Slytherin quidditch team but then I changed my mind and decided to say I would like to have some cause I LOVE beans like Bertie Bott's Beans beans and not the usual green bean, soy bean, black bean or red bean whatever beans there are in the world. And yeah I'm fine, fit as a fiddle! Nothing to worry about at all, not at all-”

Uh-huh. He's in love with me.

^^^

A/n: Hi guys, firstly I would to apologise to the people who subscribe and read my story Cafe. I have decided to scrap it until I figure out the direction for the story and gain more information and experience in writing better for it. Also, I apologize for taking so long to update an angel and only coming up with half of the supposed story (hides in shame) T-T Once again, I'm sorry. 

This chapter focuses on Ken's problems and his situation in school, in which he's kind of having some identity crisis? and stress? Oh Ken, you are one complicated man. I didn't expect to have written him as a moody boy.... Hopefully, he'll cheer up in the 2nd half.

About the quote, I found it on a website from typing: masks quotes.( http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/masks?page=1 ) 

I choose this quote because I thought it reflected how Ken was feeling at that point in time.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I'll try to get the second part up soon.

Constructive feedback is welcomed. Thank you.