The next day at school, everyone was talking about me and Jae Hyun; nothing surprising. I wasn't bothered by it at all because I knew that nothing had happened, which was a good thing. When I had gotten to class, Jung Ah kept trying to pester me, but nothing would come out. I couldn't tell her right now. If I did, I knew the whole school would find out and that would cause trouble for me and Jae Hyun; I couldn't handle any more problems. Ever since last night, I just kept thinking about my own feelings and what kind of greed I had. Did I have greed? Greed... To begin with, I don't think I was someone who was greedy. I was just someone who tried their best and got something out of it. So was I trying my best right now? I don't know.
Class went by slower than any other day, which , because all these feelings inside of me wasn't making my day go by any better. When lunch came around, I found that I wasn't hungry at all, but Jung Ah seemed to have the biggest appetite today. We made our way to the lunch room and sat down at our original table. A few of the students looked our way. I could hear them whispering about me and Jae Hyun, wondering if we were dating or if the kiss was even real and if we had enjoyed it or not. Stupid people. How could I enjoy something at a time like this? Scratch that. That was still something I didn't want to think about.
"Are you okay?" Jung Ah touched my arm lightly. "What's going on?"
"I'm a wreck." I laughed as I looked up at her.
"Ahn Soo Jin." Her eyes looked like they were worried and she knew that even though I was joking, I was being serious. "What happened to you and Se Hun?"
"Nothing happened." I shook my head. "There's nothing wrong between the two of us and I'd like to keep it that way."
If only that was the truth.
"You're lying, Soo Jin. Do you think I'm stupid?" Jung Ah let go of my arm and stared at me angrily. "How many times do I have to remind you that you at lying? You can't ever lie to me; I'm your best friend. I know when you're feeling down and when you're happy. And right now? You, Ahn Soo Jin, are not happy!"
"Of course I'm not happy, Jung Ah." I rolled my eyes. "I had to kiss Choi Jae Hyun."
"That's not what's bothering you and you know it." Was she reading my mind? "Now, are you going to tell me what's really hurting you?"
I waited to see if she would change the subject, but she didn't. She was staring at me and I suddenly started to cry. I don't know why, but I just couldn't contain my tears any longer. I was bawling my eyes out and everyone who was staring could see it happening, but I didn't care. I just had to let it out even if it meant that people were going to witness it. Jung Ah patted my back and I'm sure she was glaring at everyone who was staring at me because I heard a few people get up and leave the cafeteria. After a few minutes or so, I took a deep breath and wiped my face with a napkin that Jung Ah had handed me. I looked over at her and felt tears brimming on my eyes again.
"Soo Jin, you should go home. You shouldn't be here." Jung Ah patted my head lightly. "Did you want me to take you home?"
"No..." I stood up from the table. "I'd like to go alone..."
Jung Ah stood up after me. "Okay..."
As I made my way out of the cafeteria, my heart was pounding at me, trying to rip through my chest. I tried to calm myself, but it only hurt me more. Why did I have to feel this way? I thought it would have gone away by the time I woke up this morning. Stupid. I hit myself on my chest as I let out a few sighs. Just to make sure I looked out, I had to take out my phone and look at myself. Surprisingly, I looked fine so I didn't have to worry about anything. Phew. I put my phone back into my pocket and went inside my homeroom. I quickly gathered my things and just as I was about to walk out, I saw Jae Hyun standing there by the door frame. He smiled at me, making me feel at ease once again.
"Are you okay?" Jae Hyun asked as he walked towards me.
"I'm fine. Thanks." I pressed my lips together and walked past him.
"Ahn Soo Jin..." I could hear him following after me. "Where are you going?"
"Home." I answered dully.
"Are you really that hurt?" He asked as he caught up to me. "More hurt than all of those times where you got cut?"
"I guess I rather feel physical pain than emotional pain." I looked up at him and heaved a sigh. "At least physical pain is only temporary."
After a few minutes or so, we both made it to the gates. He had walked me there in silence and it was really surprising because Jae Hyun wasn't that type of person to do something like this, especially because it was me.
"Are you really going home?" Jae Hyun asked as I was about to walk out of the gates.
I nodded my head slowly.
"Let me walk you home." He seemed hesitant for a moment.
"Why?" I looked up at him confused.
"Because... Because I want to." He bit his lip. "Just... Just let me walk you home this time."
"Are we friends?" I asked with a small chuckle.
"I don't want to be friends, but can we?" He looked serious.
"Is that even normal?" I asked as I started to walk off.
"We can make it normal." He was walking behind me quietly.
"What about our classmates?"
"What about them?"
"What if they find us... Friends?" I laughed thinking about how stupid I sounded.
"What if they do?" He asked. "Do you care?"
"No, it should be you who cares, not me." I shrugged. "I mean, isn't pride everything to you? Since... You know... You are Choi Jae Hyun, the principal's son."
"Do titles really matter when we're in high school?" He shook his head at me.
"Maybe not to me, but maybe to you."
"You really think I have that high of an ego?" He stopped walking and placed his hands into his pockets.
"Oh no, Choi Jae Hyun isn't like that?" I sarcastically said as we got onto the bus.
"You're meaner than I am, Ahn Soo Jin." Jae Hyun said sitting down beside me. "I thought we were trying to be friends."
"Friends are like this, aren't they?" I playfully asked. "Well, I guess I have no say since I know nothing about friendships either."
"What? Is your relationship with Jung Ah not good?" He laughed.
"No, it's the best." I leaned back on my chair.
For a moment, I really cherished that Jae Hyun and I actually had a good time together. We stayed quiet for the rest of the ride. When we got off, Jae Hyun had walked me towards my house. We were talking again, but this time, we talked about the things that we hated each other for and we were laughing. Laughing like this was really made my heart at ease. I'm glad that we could get along like this and I wished that we had been like this before any of this happened because honestly, I'm sure I would have fallen for Jae Hyun as well. It was something I wasn't really proud to say, but I was serious.
"Thanks Jae Hyun..." I was still laughing about something we were talking about. "I'm glad-"
I stopped talking when I realized that Jae Hyun had stopped walking. He was staring at something past me, which really confused me, so I turned around to see who or what he was staring at. To my surprise, he was staring at Se Hun. Stupid gangster kid was standing outside of my door, staring at us. Why was he here? Wasn't he supposed to be in the hospital? But the way Se Hun looked was scary. I've seen this before. His eyes were piercing right through Jae Hyun and it looked as if he was about to do something. I grabbed onto Jae Hyun's hands tightly, surprising myself, Se Hun and Jae Hyun.
"Soo Jin... What are... What are you doing..." Jae Hyun mumbled.
"We... We should leave." I pulled Jae Hyun and turned around.
"Soo Jin... We shouldn't..." Jae Hyun tried to say, but I yanked him to stop him from talking.
Just as I thought he wasn't following us, I heard his footsteps from behind.
"Are you really going to be like this?" I heard Se Hun say.
My heart fell down to my stomach. I haven't heard his voice for a couple of days now and hearing it now felt like it was stabbing me, making fun of everything I was doing. I stopped walking finally, but my grip around Jae Hyun's hand had only tightened harder. Jae Hyun was looking at me, wondering why we were holding hands, but this wasn't the time to explain to him why I was doing what I was doing. I turned around and looked at Se Hun. He looked like he hasn't gone out in the sunlight for so long. He was pale and his hair was a mess. He... He was a wreck.
"Ahn Soo Jin..." Se Hun's voice was so soft, it made my heart sqeeze. "Can we talk? Please?"
"I have nothing to say." I said quickly.
"Then let me speak." Se Hun groaned.
"Fine. Speak." I was afraid of what was going to happen.
"No. Just us. Not with Jae Hyun." Se Hun glared at Jae Hyun.
"Whatever you need to say to me can be said in front of Jae Hyun." I managed to say.
I saw Se Hun's eyes dart down to mine and Jae Hyun's hands. He scoffed. "What? Are you two talking now?"
"Yes." I said cutting off Jae Hyun rather quickly. "In fact, we were going to go on a date..."
"You're full of jokes, Soo Jin." Se Hun sarcastically laughed at me. "You think I'd believe you?"
"I don't care if you believe me or not." I rolled my eyes. "It's not like your opinion matters to me anyways."
"What's wrong with you? Did someone ing your head up?!" Se Hun's words hit me like knives.
I froze. I was really hurt by his words. He just swore at me like it was nothing and it really hit me. I didn't know what to do and my grip around Jae Hyun's hand loosened, but Jae Hyun tightened his grip around my hand this time before it would have slipped to my side.
"Don't speak to her like that." Jae Hyun stepped in front of me.
Se Hun scoffed. "Right. Like you've said better things to her."
"We may have started off roughly, but I know her more than anyone." For the first time, Jae Hyun sounded like a man. "Whatever happened between the two of you doesn't concern me, but I won't let you talk to her like that."
"You really are something, Choi Jae Hyun." Se Hun laughed, but it looked so weak. "This is what you've always wanted, huh? You've always wanted Ahn Soo Jin, but you were too ing scared to talk to her because you know Soo Jin wouldn't ever go for an like you, am I right? Do you think that you can just come in because there's a problem between Soo Jin and me?" I heard him step towards us. "You really think Soo Jin would ever give her heart out to you?!"
"What makes you think that she'll give her heart to somenoe who's acting like you are right now?" Jae Hyun asked. "You're nothing, Oh Se Hun."
Se Hun suddenly punched Jae Hyun so hard, that he fell onto the ground. I bent down and looked at Jae Hyun's bleeding nose. I stood up and looked at Se Hun, wondering why he suddenly had the tendancy to throw a punch at Jae Hyun. If there was one thing I realized, he always got pissed off whenever someone said that he was "nothing".
"What the hell is wrong with you?!" I screamed in Se Hun's face. "Do you think you can just ing go around and-"
"No, Soo Jin, what the is wrong with you?!" Se Hun grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards him. "Why the hell are you acting like this?! Why are you making me feel this way when I shouldn't be?!" In a faint whisper, he asked, "Why are you doing this to me?"
I looked up to contain my tears, but it was too late. A tear had escaped and strolled down my cheeks. He looked so weak and this was exactly how he looked when he didn't want his grandpa to leave him. I was on the verge of giving in and just wrapping my arms around him, but I had to hold myself. There was no way I could give in. No. He deserved better and that would mean that I'd have to leave. Even though he looked so weak right now, he needed someone who could make him stronger and I was definitely not that person.
"Please tell me that you're just joking around with me..." Se Hun leaned his head onto my shoulders and I could feel his tears seeping through my uniform. "Ahn Soo Jin... Please..."
"You're really putting weight on my shoulders." I pushed him off of me as mean as I could, but it really hurt. "Stop. I don't want any of this."
"You're lying." Se Hun screamed. "Stop lying!"
"I'm not. I'm done with everything and you." I yanked my arm back. "Go home, Oh Se Hun."
I walked over to Jae Hyun and was just about to help him up, but Se Hun grabbed me, turned me around and kissed me. His lips were so warm and it really made me miss him. My body felt so weak against his and my muscles relaxed, which was not a good thing at all. I wanted to kiss him back, anything, but I pushed him away and wiped my mouth as if I was disgusted even though I truly wanted more. He looked so fragile and broken. Why did I do this? Why couldn't I just give in? No, look at how he is right now...
"Don't ever kiss me again." I helped Jae Hyun up and walked towards my house. "Leave."
"How could you do this to me?!" Se Hun yelled after me.
Se Hun was still yelling out my name, but I refused to give in. When I closed the door behind me and Jae Hyun, I slid down and cried into my hands. Jae Hyun bent down and patted the top of my head lightly. I felt bad that I'd have to bring him into this. He also got hurt because of me... Everyone's getting hurt because of me. I'm just... I'm just a stupid burden... And an idiot.
**A/N: I'm sorry I didn't update any sooner! I was trying my best to, but I'm getting so busy with freaking reality :( I'd like to thank those who upvoted my story even when I don't ask of you to do so and thank you for subscribing as well. Sadly, this story only seems to have a few chapters left and it makes me so sad. I might just have a withdrawal. Hahah. But enjoy the update and tell me how you feel about it because your comments truly make my day!! Don't kill anyone, please! Lol. I love you all <3 Also, I have another story that's going to come soon after I finish this one. It's called Goodbye Autumn. It features Chenchen <3 But note that I won't be posting until I'm done with this story though, but please still support and read :D. Please read and comment. I'd love to hear about your opinions, so please don't be a silent reader. Thank you and read with lots of love! Keke~! Muah!