Busan wasn't as cold as it was back in Seoul. When Se Hun and I got off the train, Se Hun treated me to a small snack before we decided to head over to the hospital. The hospital was quieter than last time but that didn't stop a few older men and women to say hi to us and acknowledge Se Hun again. They must have really liked Se Hun because their smiles all widened when they saw him. I guess they never saw him the way our school did. I'm sure they'd think different of Se Hun if they saw how he was outside of these walls, but then again, he wasn't as bad as people had said either, so I guess nothing would have changed.
We opened the door to where Se Hun's grandpa was. I could tell that Se Hun seemed nervous when the door swung open. He took a deep breath before walking in. I followed in after him quietly. There was no laughter like the last time we walked in, maybe because the TV was off and everything was so quiet. What was there to laugh about? But Se Hun's face fell when we had gotten in. He looked like he had seen a ghost. I walked over to him and looked to the side to where the bed was supposed to be but the area was emptied.
"Where... Where is he?" Se Hun ran out of the room and ran out to the front counter. He frightened the nurse since he kind of popped out of nowhere. "Where's my grandpa? He's not in the room. Did you guys move him without telling me?!"
A different nurse came out since the nurse at the front desk looked scared and she didn't know what to say. This nurse must have been familiar with Se Hun because when she saw him, she nodded her head and he acknowledged her.
"Se Hun, when did you come in?" She asked.
"Where's my grandpa?" He ignored her question and heaved a sigh as he ran his hand through his hair. "Did you guys move him to a different room and not tell me?" The way he said his words made the nurse's face fall. She was just smiling but now, she looked like she was kind of hurt. "Why are you making that face? Where is he?" He sounded so desperate. I felt bad that he was feeling this way.
"Follow me." The nurse moved from behind the counter and took us down a different hallway. This hallway was lot louder than the hallways Se Hun and I have gone through. I could hear machines beeping, a few even with rapid beeping, and it had me fear that we were going somewhere where we didn't want to go. My heart was throbbing inside of my chest, as if I already knew what was going on. I know I said I was smart and all, but I was really hoping my logic was wrong. The nurse opened the door to a door and led us in. Se Hun ran into the room and right away, not caring that he accidentally bumped into the nurse on his way.
His grandpa was hooked up to so many machines and needles and his breathing wasn't normal. They had to use a breathing mask in order to help his breathing pattern. I'm sure it hurt Se Hun's heart seeing his grandpa like this. I didn't know what to say or do. The nurse stood beside me and I knew her heart was hurting just as much as Se Hun's. For once, I felt out of place. I don't know why, but being here didn't make me feel happy. I wanted to cry even if I wasn't as close to them as everyone else was and even if I didn't know what was going on. Before I knew it, Se Hun's eyes were watery, if I was seeing correctly.
"What's... What's wrong with him?" Se Hun finally turned around to look at the nurse who was still standing there.
"He had an acute heart attack a night ago..." The nurse sounded guilty because Se Hun didn't know about it.
"Why didn't you call me?! You said you would inform me!" Seeing Se Hun look like this was something I couldn't even describe. The way he looked at the nurse was more hurt than pissed.
"We really wanted to contact you, but your grandpa forced us not to." Her head fell and I could see that she was crying. She must have felt horrible, but there was no reason for her to cry over that, right? "Se Hun... Your grandpa..."
"No... No... Noona, don't say it..." Se Hun seemed to be trying really hard to keep in his tears. I could see it in his eyes.
"I'm sorry Se Hun, but he won't even make it past tonight..." She bowed her head once again. "The doctor said there's nothing we can do even if we tried. I'm sorry..."
"Noona, you promised me..." One of Se Hun's tears fell down his cheeks. It broke my heart in half to see this side of Se Hun. I had to hang my head down. I couldn't bear to see him like this. It hurt my heart.
"If anything, we can still hope that he opens his eyes before he passes away." She nodded her head at Se Hun and then forced herself to walk out of the room. I could hear her weeping as she closed the door behind me.
"No... No... This can't happen..." Se Hun squeezed his grandpa's hands. "Harabeoji... No..."
I found myself tearing up, but I couldn't cry in front of Se Hun. This wasn't the time for me to cry. This was the time for me to console him the best I can and that's what I did. I walked over and patted his back lightly. I didn't know what else to do. Talking about this wouldn't make the situation any better for him.
Se Hun had gone out after an hour or so to call his friends and tell them about the situation. Within an hour, Chan Yeol, Lu Han, Baek Hyun, and Kai made it to the hospital. I don't know how they did it, but they must have cared a lot about Se Hun and his grandpa to make it here within an hour. It didn't even sound possible but then again, these people always showed up when you thought that they were probably years away from you.
"How his condition? Will he wake up?" Baek Hyun asked rocking back and forth on his heels.
"Let's think positive, Se Hun. Don't let your hopes go down the drain." Chan Yeol patted Se Hun on the back.
"Don't worry. We'll be here with you every minute." Lu Han squeezed Se Hun's arms lightly. "We won't leave."
"Thanks guys." Se Hun heeved a sigh. "I really appreciate it."
"No, don't thank us. We would have done it even if you didn't tell us." Kai wrapped his arm around Se Hun's neck. "Stay strong."
These were the guys who were always there for Se Hun. They didn't even hesitate one second when Se Hun had asked them to do something for him. Look, they came here within an hour when it usually takes more than that to get here. They fought by his side and backed him up and they were consoling him even when they knew, too, in their hearts that nothing was going to be okay and that Se Hun's grandpa probably wasn't going to wake up any time sooner. Even if they looked like a scary mob gang, at least they had each other's back.
The night became long with the loud beeping that came from Se Hun's grandpa's heart. We all sat in the room in silence. No one had said a word since the guys had arrived. Everyone was tired and no one had the energy to speak. My head started to throb again. I thought it had gone away, but I guess it decided to come back. Great. I didn't have time to worry about how I was feeling. I already had a sad atmosphere around me. What was I going to do? Things like this didn't mix. Leave me alone.
Se Hun suddenly got up and left the room. We all watched him go, but the boys suddenly all got up and followed after him as well. Maybe it was just me, but I found that kind of cute. It was as if they were afraid that leaving Se Hun alone wouldn't be good and since I was already in here, I'm sure they trusted me to be here alone. I sighed thinking about all these thoughts. What was going to happen? My heart throbbed when I looked over at Se Hun's grandpa. I know I only met him once, but he was so nice to me. I wish I had more time to come here and visit him with Se Hun. I'm sure he would have been so happy.
The beeping of the machine started to slow down. My heart jumped, realizing something I didn't want to realize. I ran to the door and yelled out for Se Hun. I didn't care that it was late at night and people were probably sleeping. I saw Se Hun and his friends running towards me. They rushed past me, hitting me a little, but I didn't have time to care. Se Hun ran to his grandpa and held onto his hands. We all listened as the heartbeat of the machine slowed down. We didn't even realize that the nurses and doctor was standing behind us now.
"Harabeoji... Don't leave me..." Se Hun wasn't crying, but I knew he wanted to. "You can't leave me here..." He was trying really hard to hold it in, I could see that in his eyes.
His friends were all crying now. They were all wiping their tears, trying to stop, but it didn't help.
"I love you..." We heard a faint voice. We looked closer to see that his grandpa had opened his eyes. He was looking at all of us now. Was he really awake? "Se Hun, take care of everyone you love and cherish them." His voice was so weak and quiet, even the machine was louder than him. "I'm so happy that I got to see you before I left. Don't be sad that I'm leaving. Be happy. You're surrounded with people who love you. Oh Se Hun, take care."
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP. Se Hun felt down onto his knees, his mouth ajar. The boys beside me hung their heads and held their hands together in front of their body, paying their respects. I started crying. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I was now crying and I could hear the nurse crying behind me. The doctor, who was standing behind us, walked over to Se Hun and patted his shoulders. There were no words from anyone. I'm sure everyone was as speechless as Se Hun, who was still holding onto his grandpa's hands. From this moment on, I knew everything was going to be different.
The funeral for Se Hun's grandpa happened the very next day in Busan. Many people came but Se Hun kept his composure and didn't cry, even though his friends were crying like it were their own grandpa. I didn't cry as hard as I did last night, but I still cried. I made sure that I would not cry in front of Se Hun, but it was hard since I've never seen Se Hun look so weak in front of people, faking his smile. It really hurt my heart that he would try to hold in his feelings during a time like this. I'm sure it hurt everyone who came to visit as well. The nurse from the hospital came to give her condolences to Se Hun. After she did, she gave a piece of paper to Se Hun and hugged him. When she saw me, she stopped in her tracks and handed me a piece of paper as well.
"What... What is this?" I asked confused, looking at the paper.
"It's a letter from Se Hun's grandpa. He wrote this just before his heart attack and told me that I should give it to you to read only after he passed away." The nurse started to cry again. "Please read it well."
I only nodded my head at the nurse only because I didn't know what to say since it was surprising that there was something for me even when I had little to no interaction with Se Hun's grandpa. When she walked off, I looked back at Se Hun who was holding onto the piece of paper like it was his whole world. I wish I could have done something for him, but I knew there was nothing. What made things even worse was that I didn't know how he felt. I never lost anyone and I would hope that it would never happen to me. Seeing him like this was enough to feel his pain, but to actually have to go through it? I knew I couldn't take it.
After the burial, Se Hun forced his friends to go home even when they said they would stick by his side. Se Hun and I had gone back to Seoul three hours after the boys left Busan. My parents already knew about what had happened and how I couldn't make it home, so I didn't get into much trouble. The ride back was quiet. It was as if everyone knew about us as well. The train was so quiet; we could hear our own breathing. Se Hun sat beside me and had his eyes closed the whole time. He was still holding onto the piece of paper that the nurse had given him during the funeral. I still haven't opened mine, so I thought I would.
"Ahn Soo Jin, did I mention that you were too pretty for my Se Hun? I'm really happy that he chose to be around someone like you. I know he lied about you being his girlfriend. Se Hun wasn't ever good with relationships. It's not that easy to fool me. Ah, is he still beating up on poor kids at school? How did he manage to run across you and how did you manage to befriend someone like him? Did he bribe you? He's a good man deep down. Take care of him for me. I'm happy that I met you, even if it wasn't for too long and it was just once. It showed me that he was going to be okay when I leave. Soo Jin, take care of my Se Hun and please be there for him. Thank you for letting me rest peacefully."
I started crying. I tried to hold in my cries but my cries turned into sobs. I was sobbing and in order to not let Se Hun hear, I tried to get up and walk off, but Se Hun grabbed my hand pulled me back down. He wrapped his arm around my body and hugged me tightly. It was weird how I was the one crying and he was the one holding me. It should have been the other way around, but I guess I was wrong. I could feel his tears seeping through the shirt I was wearing. His cries also became sobs, making my heart throb even more inside of my chest. I guess it was a good thing that there really wasn't anyone on the train cos' here we were, a crying mess.