Min Woo's POV

After I saw him left, I felt emptiness started to surround me. I stared blankly as the small figure tried to catch up with his own father.I have no will to stop him. I just let him did whatever he wanted. If he wanted to be with  'him', why would I stop him? I did not even bother to care. I entered back in my room and lied on the bed. Again,the sad feelings embraced me. This time,I have nobody to depend anymore. 'He' was there when I was sad about Min Jung but I guessed that was just an acting. 'He' just wanted to be with his son. I felt betrayed. I should have known it all along! The reasons why he was so caring towards Min Wan. No wonder he was too close with that child. Nevertheless, that made me fell for him. The way he cared for Min Wan. The way he hugged and loved the boy. I felt so stupid for believing all of it. I started to feel tears were b again but then something unexpected happened.

I felt a small pair of hands encircled my waist. I did not have to turn to know who was it. He sobbed behind my back. 

"Daddy....", he sniffed.I ignored him. I turned to be stiffed when I felt his touches. It reminded me of my mistakes and sadness but I did not detest him either. I just did not know what to do. I cold not figure it out yet.

"Min Wan will stay....", he said and hugged me tighter. Somehow, I felt relieved when I heard that. I was starting to reply his hug when he continued,

"I remember that I had promised Appa to take care of you...",the word 'Appa' snapped me. I remembered that he was the reason as well.He was the reason why Min Jung dead too.If Min Jung did not give birth to him, she would not die. The father and son, both of them killed my Min Jung! I took Min Wan's hands off me and turned around. I glared at him but I was defeated by his wet eyes. Min Jung's eyes.He was the last gift from Min Jung to me. I got confused with these incomprehendible feelings.It kept changing. One time, I was angry, another time, I was so sad. Confusion was taking over me. Killing me soflty by taking my sanity. I tried to reason all of it but I did not understand anything of it.I kept going back and forth, trying to figure out what should I feel for all of this. I got up from the bed, leaving Min Wan behind with his loud crying.

"Daddy..don't go...Daddy...please...don't go....", he stopped me by grabbing my hand with his small palms. He whined and cried but, I did not care. I ignored him and left the house after grabbed my car keys and wallets. When I was out, I could still hear his loud crying.I remembered,it was always 'him' that calmed the boy down when he was like that. Obviously, he needed his father but why he stayed for me? I did not even bother to find the answer. 

I went to the nearest bar and coincidently it was the same bar where I was used to hang out with 'him'. I went straight to order the strongest drink. I need to get out from this and all I could think was drinking and got wasted. When I was drinking, my phone did not stop ringing but I ignored it. I had no will to answer any call. I was on my fifth glass when I heard my phone rang for the umpth time. It was bothering me too much.

"Hyung..where are you..?", it was Andy that called me.

"Where ever I want to be..why?", I answered him.

"Where is Min Wan?",he sounded agitated.

"Home...why are you calling me..?", I asked.

"I fetched the boy while you go to the hospital, now!", Andy gave me orders.

"Hospital?Why..?", I asked.I was curious after all. 

"Dong Wan hyung got into an accident and they said it was serious. You better get your there quickly!!", Andy said before he hang up.

I got to my feet immediately, wanted to be there as soon as I could,but the moment I took a step, I stopped. I remembered, he had left me. I told him to go so, what rights did I have to be there? Besides, I had not forgive him yet. I fell back on the stool and continued my drinking.

"He is no body anymore...", I tried to carve that fact in my mind.

I went home with drunk state. Not even bothered to answer my calls. No one was home. Everyone was busy tending 'him', they had no time to think about me. I was hurt too. My heart was in pain but they never cared.I was alone again. Totally alone. With that thoughts, I let myself sank on the floor.

"No one loves me....", I  closed my eyes and drifted to sleep.

The next day was no difference except the boy was already at home. He cleaned himself, knowing I had no will to do anything. No urge to wake up even though I was on the floor. He got near to me and shook my body.

"Daddy,wake up...Lets meet Appa..", I heard Min Wan said to me. I groaned and pushed him away. I did not want it, but I tended to get hurt by every single thing. He only needed me to bring him to see his Appa. Every one treated me with the hidden motive. I could ot help for feeling that way including towards the innocent child.

"Daddy..at least,lets shower together. Like always.", he looked into my eyes. There was glittering hope in his pretty eyes. My Min Jung's eyes. I got up finally and he smiled for that but he got dissapointed when I closed the bathroom's door right in front of his face. Again, he cried. I made myself deaf and continued to do my things.

After I checked out myself on the mirror, I got out again. Leaving the boy again in the house. I wanted him to go to stay with his father. Stop taking care of me if he had hidden motive. I thought that in my brain. I left the house to go to the bar again to drink more alcohol. I thought it would make me forget everything and started anew. Without a person named Kim Dong Wan in my life.Just when I stepped in the bar, my phone rang.

This time, it was Jun Jin.

"Hyung, where are you?", Jun Jin asked me with an irritated voice.

"Why bother?", I answered him with irritating voice as well.

"Where is Min Wan?", he asked. Why they always asked the same thing?

"Home..why?", I made sure to make it obvious that I was not really interested.

"Hyung..Min Wan needs you...Dong Wan hyung needs you..", he suddenly sounded so soft but my heart refused to melt.

"You are wasting your time...", I said and then I hanged up. Sure enough, he called me back later but I ignored it with my drinking session which was 24 hours at that time.

I returned home wasted again. I went straight to my room, not even bothered to greet Andy who was calming Min Wan from crying. Jun Jin was helping his boyfriend. I felt disgust with everything. They were only here for the boy, not me.

It was the same for the whole two weeks. I went out, drank, got drunk and then I returned home. Jun Jin and Andy had decided to live at my house to take care of Min Wan. I admitted I miss it very much. The moments of me and 'him' with our son but the fact that he lied to me and betrayed me still lingered in my heart. I could not forgive him. The boy was the victim where I could not vent my frustration. I did nothing except ignoring him. Leaving him entirely to the maknaes' hands. Not even once I asked 'his' condition after the accident. I was curious but I did not want to know at the same time. It hurt me everytime I remembered how much I love him. Hate the same person without I knew about it.

"Why are you still here...?", I asked Jun Jin who was preparing breakfast.

"You could have take the boy to live with you", I continued with no feeling inserted.

"He told us that he does not want to leave you alone", Jun Jin's answer surpirised me a little. I grabbed the mug I was holding tightly.

"Hyung..", Jun Jin stopped frying his kimchi rice and sat in front of me.

"What?", annoyingly, I replied him.

"Dong Wan hyung kept muttering your name in his unconcious state...", Jun Jin took my hands.  I raised my eyebrows. So, 'he' was unconcious...

"Min Wan keep crying and hugged his Appa, saying he would keep promise to take care of you. What happened, hyung?", the question made my tears b in the eyes. Min Wan loves me after all. I bowed my head. I was drowned in my thoughts. Jun Jin just let me be but it was not for long because Min Wan entered the kitchen with Andy.

"Daddy....", the small child walked to me and hugged me. I became a statue. I did not reject him, but I did not reply him either.

"Hyung....", Andy sat next to me. He suddenly cried, made me and Jun Jin shocked. As his boyfriend, immediately Jun Jin got up and hugged Andy.

"Mommy...loves Daddy..too...", Min Wan said in his hug. I was confused. What he was talking about? I turned my head to Andy. The maknae handed a piece of paper to me and had not stop crying. I took it and read it. It was the letter directed to Dong Wan. From Min Jung. My Min Jung.

Dear Dong Wan Oppa,

I don't know where to start. I have too much things to say, but I know I have insufficient time to convey it to you. By the time this letter is in your hands, it means that I may gone forever, Oppa but I would not regret it. I did not regret at all giving birth to Min Wan. He is a child that I am so proud of because he has you in him. I know it, Oppa.I know he will grow up well, just like you. I've been wanting to say this to you, oppa. Everytime I see your eyes, I saw sadness. It was like you were looking at Min Woo, not me. I understand it very much,oppa. That is why I was being selfish. I kept you by my side even though I know I don't exist at all in your heart but I could not bring myself to say it. I was afraid you will immediately leave me.

First of all, thank you, oppa. Thank you for being at my side despite your hurting heart. Thank you for bare with me and felt content even though you know I can't replace Min Woo. However, I am sorry when I let you slept with me. I just let you touched me despite you were chanting Min Woo's name in your lips. I just gave into you even though I know the consequences very well. I'm sorry for being selfish,oppa. I still want you to involve in my life. It satisfied me enough when I know I have your seed in my body who I named as Min Wan. Oppa, thank you again for accepting me and Min Wan in your life. I know your plans, oppa. I saw the ring in your car one day. I know you were going to ask my hand for marriage, but I could not accept the honour,oppa. Somehow, I know I don't have oppurtinity to make you happy. Besides, it is not me who should receive your proposal.

Oppa, I want to tell you something. I love you oppa. I still do. And I always love you but that does not mean I have to own you. Loving you means I want to see you happy and unfortunately you are not happy with me. Your happiness is not in my hands, it's in Min Woo's hands. This time, I want to be responsible for my own doings. I want you to pursuit your own happiness. I had mine when you were there, taking care of me and always be at my side. Promise me, you will let yourself happy with Min Woo. Promise me you will forget about me and go to Min Woo. This my last request, oppa. I want you to be happy with Min Woo. Please take care of Min Wan with Min Woo. Both of them are my precious and important in my life. I am handing them to you because I know I would not have the chance to do it in the future. And one more thing, oppa. Please don't cry. Promise me, you would not cry when I am gone. I still watch you 'up' there, you know? I can't take it if you are crying, oppa. 

Lastly, I just want to say thank you again, oppa. A very sincere deep thank you from the bottom of my heart for letting me enter your life even just for a while. I love you, oppa. Please tell Min Wan that his mommy loves him so much. I will wait for him in the heaven patiently. I will be waiting for you and Min Woo too. Kim Dong Wan oppa, another please from me. Please be happy. Please...Just be happy....

Yours truly,

Lee Min Jung.

I was speechless. I read it over and over again. Dong Wan had loved me since he knew Min Jung? Both of them hid this from me so that I would not get hurt? Dong Wan never left Min Jung's side. He took care of her all the time. He never left the child too. He was always there. Why I only knew it at that moment? I traced my hand on the letter. It was her handwriting. I could not help myself from crying. I looked at the letter again and saw a few drops tears' traces. It must be Dong Wan's when he read this. He cried just like me. 

"Daddy....", Min Wan shook me slowly. I did not hesitate at all to take him into my embrace.

"I'm sorry...Min Wan...I'm sorry...", I repeated. How foolish I was when I drowned myself into despair.

"Uncle Andy read it to me...Mommy loved you, Daddy...Appa loves you..I love you...", he said. I just continued my crying and kissed him repeatedly.

"I love you....Min Wan..I love you..", I kissed his cheeks. He said nothing after that as he indulged himself in my hug.

"Hyung....", Andy broke the moment.

"I'll take you there...to Dong Wan hyung..", Jun Jin offered after he wiped his lover's tears. 

"I'm going to find out it later but right now, I think it's important for you to be at his side", Jun Jin already picked his keys while Andy gave me clothes to wear.

"Daddy...lets take a shower first..like always...", Min Wan pulled me to the bathroom.

"You smell bad..Appa doesn't like it..", he said, with a little laugh. I smiled faintly and followed him.

With a shaved face and neat look, I stood outside the door for a few minutes before knocking it. I waited patiently for the door to be opened. It was Eric that appeared.

"Min Woo!!", he looked surprised but I only gave him a smile. An assuring smile.

To be continued

Author's note : Mianhae...I am sorry....*bows*....Thank you for still reading this story^^....and I edited the previous chapter..It changed a lot...sorry for that too....this chapter...I'm sorry too...bcoz I took it too long to update....and..it is not that good....but this story will end soon...I know you see it^^

Thank You for reading....

Kamsahamnida!!

ps: I imagine Min Woo was like this....