With time you always pushed things away. Being alone was almost comforting yet haunting, with only your thoughts to keep you company. Just lounging around your place, you turned off your phone due to the constant buzzing that you got from your phone. Everything was unappealing, nothing seemed to make you happy. Songs couldn’t take you away, books just made you more sad as you reached each ending.

Weeks passed as you knew that you were depressed. Not being able to shake this feeling was wearing you out and nothing you could do would fix it. You couldn’t even tell your family or your closest friends or even your boyfriend. It was your secret.

Unfolding your legs from under you, you walked to the fridge as your stomach yelled at you, begging you to feed it. Pulling open the refrigerator your eyes scanned the food that laid inside. Closing the door, you sighed as you shuffled your feet against the floor as they carried you to your bedroom. 

Laying yourself out on your bed, you grabbed a pillow and wrapped your arms around it as you let sleep become your only escape.

—

Hoya laid against the floor of the studio, with his phone propped up in the air between his hands. Your face shined as his background as he opened up his messaging app and typed you this message.

I hope you are doing well. I miss you so much. I feel so bad that I haven’t been able to see you for these few weeks. I would love to see you soon.  - HY

Sending the message, he reread his message as he let the screen go black as he dropped it against his chest. Knowing you for some time, you usually messaged or called back rather quickly.

Hoya couldn’t shake this feeling that something was wrong, he need to make sure that you were ok. Minutes ticked by as he lit up the screen, with no new messages he hissed to himself as he let the phone fall once more onto his chest. Tapping his finger on his lips his mind raced as he checked the time.

"It’s not that late." He mumbled as he sat up and let out a deep breath. Pulling his phone back into his hands, he called you as he pressed his phone to his ear just to hear the constant ringing. After calling you a few times, he stood up and grabbed his backpack and walked out of the room.

Wrapping his purple jacket around him, he left the building as darkness welcomed him outside. Following a course over to your place, he passed a flower store as he stepped inside for just a moment to buy you some red roses.

Smelling the red roses, he thought of you as a smile curled onto his lips. Making his way to your place, he checked the time making sure that it wasn’t too late for a visit. Shuffling his feet to you door, he knocked on it as he still got butterflies every time that he met with you.

A few minutes later, he still stood there outside. He knocked on your door again as he called you name. Letting a few more minutes pass, he reached up to the top of your door as his fingers danced across the frame as they found the spare key. Bringing down the key to the lock, he unlocked it as he slid the key back up to its rightful place.

”______-ssi?” He called as he entered your place, quietly he slipped off his shoes and coat as he hung them up with care, setting his backpack by the entrance, he held the flowers in his hands carefully.

Cautiously, he looked around your place before setting foot in your living room. Calling your name softly a couple more times, he looked around your empty apartment as it was dark and almost sad. Everything was put in its place besides a few cups that were in the sink. His eyes wondered to the closed doors as he looked for any sign of you.

Under one of the doors was a soft light as he moved towards it. Setting his hand on the door, he knocked softly before turning the handle and peeking his head through the opening.

A soft smile came to his lips as he saw you cuddled up on your bed, opening up the door, he walked into your room as he approached the bed. The only light came from your lamp on the side of your bed.

Setting his knee on the bed, he sat down slowly, trying not to disturb you. Your hair sat messily on your face as he took his fingers and gently pushed it away, tucking it behind your ear. His eyes carefully looked over you as he thought that you looked a little pale. Setting his hand against your cheek then you hand, he didn’t feel a fever, yet the feeling of something-being-not-right still lingered in the air and in his heart.

The way you clutched the pillow with your hands, the dark circles under your eyes, the paleness of your skin, the ball that you curled yourself into. He gently pet your head as you whined softly in your sleep, furrowing his brow he wondered what could be wrong.

A single tear gently rolled from the corner of your eye as Hoya tilted his head, lifting the tear from your skin with his finger. More concert filled his mind as he covered you in a blanket and turned off your lamp.

"I’m sorry that I wasn’t here for you when you needed me." He placed the bouquet of flowers beside you as he left your room. Staying in your place a little longer, he folded some of the messy blankets and fluffed the pillows. Walking back to your room, he had a heavy heart as he knelt by the side of your bed. your cheek with his fingers, his eyes slowly scanned over you, thinking that you had gotten a little thinner than he had last seen you.

"I’m sorry, I care what you are going through and I am not going to back out when you tell me the truth, I will just hold you tighter. I will always be beside you. I love you for who you are, from who you were before and for who you are now. I love you." Hoya’s lip quivered as he tried to hold in his emotions, being strong for you.

Hearing every word of Hoya’s, your heart melted. Being slightly asleep, you opened your eyes and looked at the sorrowful face of your boyfriend.

"I’m sorry" Is all you could say, lifting your hand, you rested it on his face as he placed his hand on yours. Moving his lips to your hand, he kissed your palm softly.

"Don’t be. I know we can get through this whatever it is." Hoya reassured you as you just closed your eyes as he moved your hand from his face and held it between his.

"Depression." You mumbled as Hoya’s eyes got wide, then returned to normal.

"I will do whatever I can to help you get through this. I promise." His voice trembled, as his hands shook while holding yours. Pulling yourself closer to him, you pulled your hand from his slowly as you wrapped both of your arms around his shoulder, as you dug your face into his neck. His arms wrapped around you as his hands slowly roamed your back.

"It’s going to be ok. It’s going to be ok." Hoya repeatedly whispered in your ear. After a while, you began to believe it as he held you with all of the warmth in his heart and his love for you.