Na na na na na
Na na na na na

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There you are again, sitting under the tree, Reading a book. Waiting for someone I wish he didn’t exist. You don’t know my true feelings, under my best friend mask.
I want to walk to where you are and confess my feelings, but why can’t I just do it? I sighed… Putting my head down for a while looking at my hands. Then I raise up my head to keep looking at you and I saw him again.

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He takes your hand
I die a little
I watch your eyes
and I’m in riddles
why can’t you look at me like that?

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Author’s P.O.V

Your Boyfriend kissed you and gave you a soda, sitting by your side. You guys talked about a few things. From time to time, he hugged you, sometimes he just laid down and put his head on your legs while you played with his hair. You two were love- dovey all time, but why not? You guys have been dating for seven months and our love never stopped from growing.

It was time to go, you had to go to class, the las class of the day: Spanish. You stood up and packed your things, then looking at your boyfriend, said goodbye. He asked you for a goodbye kiss and you smiled shyly. Then you went down again and kissed him three times and said good bye.

You didn’t noticed it, but all this happened in front of Sehun. His heart ached like crazy, but he stood up and ran to catch up with you on your way to the class room, because you guys took that class together.

And so the day went just like that. Sehun keeping the secret even if he felt like dying and you kept thinking of your boyfriend day and night, without noticing that your best friend held feelings for you since long time ago, even if he knows you’re deeply in love, he just couldn’t help it.

After class you guys went to the dance practice and then to your respective homes.

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Na na na na na

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Next day. It was really cold. Christmas was almost there, but it hasn’t snowed yet. Sehun kept thinking of you like every night and day.

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When you walk by
I try to say it,
but then I freeze
and never do it.

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Sehun asked you to come to the dance practice room so he could confess his feelings. He didn’t pretend that after his confession you’ll leave your boyfriend to accept his feelings, but he needed to let that all out. He needed to stop that feeling from growing for his own good and for the sake of your friendship.

You got out of your class room just like Sehun, but he was the first one to arrive in the dance room. While waiting for you, he was talking to himself, like practicing what he was about to say.

He received a text message from you:

You:
I’m on my way~
You better be there, I have an appointment after meeting you~ :)

Sehun:

Ok~ I’m already here!

A few minutes later you arrived and found him sitting in the middle of the room. You took off your backpack and left it at the entrance of the room and went there to take a seat beside your best friend.

- “Well, what’s that you want to tell me?” You asked. Your friend remained quiet. He looked at you like he wanted to say something but words didn’t came out. “Is it something bad?”

- “No…” He finally replied.

- “Then you can tell me, it’ll be ok hun~” you said smiling.

- “I don’t know” he sighed “look…”

Your cellphone received a text message. It was from your boyfriend.

- “Oh, it’s Eli” you said smiling. “Great” Sehun thought. “He says he’s looking for me, you better say it quickly Sehun- ah” you said.

- “Oh… Oh… Um… It’s – I’ts… Um… I guess it can wait”.

- Are you sure? You asked.

- “Um… Yeah, Sure. I think.” Sehun said brushing his hair with his hand.

- “You better tell me now!” You said.

- “I – I wanted to ask you… um… If… how – how was everything with Eli? Yeah. Everything good?

- “Oh… Yeah! We’re doing perfectly fine! He wants to introduce me to his parents~ that’s why he’s looking for me” You said with a big smile on your face.

- “Awesome” was all that Sehun could say.

- “Yeah~ I better go now if that’s all you wish to tell me” You said getting up

- “Yeah sure, it’s ok. Good luck noona” Sehun said as he watched you leave the room.

 

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My tongue gets tied
the word get trapped.
I hear the beat of my heart
getting louder
whenever I’m near you.

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Author P.O.V
 

At dance classes you had to pick a partner to do a couple dance. You and Sehun looked at each other and you held his arm instantly. He was excited, he wanted to know which dance you guys will have.

“Oh Sehun and _______ …  you guys will have BoA’s Only One.” Said the choreographer.

You both looked surprised. Sehun knew the dance from the very beginning ‘till the very end, so he was the one in charged to teach you the dance steps one by one.

In the solo part his heart felt like he was about to explode, but tried to remain clamed.

You felt like you wanted to do the solo part with your boyfriend, so you asked the choreographer if you could change Sehun for Eli, and he said that it’ll be fine, but you had to notify your partner about the change. And so you did. Sehun was ok with your idea, ‘cause that way you shouldn’t feel uncomfortable, but he then quit from that dance because he couldn’t stand seeing you two dancing like that… Until the presentation day.

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But I see you with him
slow dancing;
tearing me apart
‘cause you don’t see.

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The dance was going really well, the solo part was amazing, ‘cause it seemed that the connection between Eli and You was really strong and at the end you guys changed some steps so he could hug you from the back, turning your head a bit so you could see him, and you guys were so close to each other that the dance conclude with a kiss.

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Whenever you kiss him
I’m breaking
Oh, how I wish that was me

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Sehun was really surprised. He couldn’t feel any more proud of you, because he was the one who made you dance in the very beginning. He taught you a lot of choreographies, starting with the easiest ones, to the ones who were a complete challenge to you. And that ending was really creative, it isn’t usually seen here. “The routine ended well” he thought. “I should go there to congratulate them”. He wanted to hug you, but he couldn’t do it. Not at that time, ‘cause even when he was proud, his heart was aching to death. It was really painful for him that he couldn’t be part of your success as a dancer; that he couldn’t dance with you.

He had some mixed feelings, so he didn’t knew what to do but he thought that before you noticed him (if you ever do), it was better to leave the place. It was better if he just had stayed at his house that day. “Why did you came here Sehun? Why?” he asked himself while he walked away.

You were smiling at everyone, but you needed your best friend, you needed to thank him for everything he has done for you, in order to make you what you are now. You wanted to celebrate your success with him, so you were looking for him and you found him… You saw him standing up and leaving without a word and with his hands on his pockets walking like he didn’t wanted to be there, like he wasn’t even invited. You knew something bad was happening with him, but you didn’t know what it was. You wanted to go after him, but your family wanted to go and eat dinner with your boyfriend and you, so you had to stay.

 

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Na na na na na

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A long time passed by, and you guys graduated from college recently. You still had your thing with Eli, but it isn’t all peaches and cream. It was a 3-years- long relationship, with struggles, ups and downs, fights, and normal stuffs, but you both knew how to love the flaws of each other, so you were happy.

Sehun had a girlfriend just because she was interested in him, ‘because he still haven’t forgotten you. The reason why he didn’t want that relationship to keep on growing, was because he didn’t want to lie to himself and to the other girl, so the best way was to end something that was  a one sided love from its start to its very end. Ever since then he hasn’t have any other relationship. He was really lonely and sad, but your happiness was enough for him to breath.

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Na na na na na

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You and Eli were getting married. Everything was planned and organized and you both were sending invitations. You, of course, wanted Sehun to go to that special day and be part of your special moment of your life, so you had his invitation in your purse and texted him:

You:
Sehun-ah~ Do you have some free time?

Sehun:

Sure. Do you want to us to meet somewhere?

You:

Yeah! I have something to tell you.

Sehun:

Ok, then. I got something to tell you too.

You:

Great~! Then… Starbucks at 3:00 pm?

Sehun:

Sure. See you there noona~
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You finished doing your things before 3 pm, so you went to Starbucks to wait for Sehun even though there was one hour left. You started reading a magazine and brought a hot chocolate because it was cold. When you finished reading, got your phone and started to text Eli, but he was on a meeting and he said he would call you when he finish. Sehun arrived 20 minutes early as always and saw you there sitting alone, and forgetting the hour he quickly walked over you.

“Oh, sorry I’m late” Sehun said without seeing the clock. When you stood up he gave you a kiss on the cheeks like he always did since young.

“Don’t worry, you’re not late. I came too early because I got nothing to do after finishing with the house cleaning” You said smiling while Sehun took a seat.

“Well then, ok.” He said smiling. “What’s that you wanted to tell me?”

“You tell me first! We haven’t talk in such a long time. I’m sorry for that.” You said taking Sehun’s left hand and caressing it.

“Well, it has been the same as before. I got a job; I’ve been healthy these past months. Ummm. Nothing special, really. But I did missed you a lot!  How about you? Why did you disappear without saying a word??” He said looking at your eyes.

“Ohh. Well. Umm. I’m sorry for that, I’ve been pretty busy these past months with the personal life and with the job and it has been quite heavy. You know. Public relations. It’s a total mess” you said laughing at the last thing you said, making Sehun smile. “Oh talking about personal life, you remember Eli, right?”

“Your boyfriend, how to forget him” he thought. “eung*” he said.          * eung means yes in korean (응) *

“Well, he proposed to me!!” you said with excitement and smiling like a little kid.
Sehun heart’s stopped beating for a second.

“Oh… wow… That’s… amazing!” He said faking a smile. “What did you said?”

“Of course I said yes! Sehun I’m going to marry him! That’s why I wanted to meet you, because you’re my dearest friend and you have to be there with me. Here you have your invitation.” You said searching for an envelope in your purse and giving it to him.

He almost cry when he heard your answer. It was like a punch to the face and stomach, who leaves you breathless. Sehun was hoping for a bit of air to come into him, so he could live again, because at that moment, you who were his air, has escaped from him.

“You can go with MinAh if you want to. We don’t have any problems with it.” You said.

“We’re not dating anymore…” Sehun said lowering his head.

“What?!” you asked with surprise. “Why not?”

“Because I have feelings for someone else” Sehun said looking at the envelope.

“Oh! That’s so sad Sehun! Is that what you wanted to tell me?”
Sehun opened his eyes wide while still looking at the envelope. He forgot he was about to confess that day.

“Ye- Yeah. That was it. MinAh and I broke up long time ago after I realized that I was lying to her and to myself because I still love my first love.” He said looking at you.

“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.” You said putting your hand on his arm.

“It’s ok. Don’t worry about that”

“You’ll see, a good girl will come and make you forget that first love and be happy as before.” You saild smling at him. Sehun chucked.

“Thanks noona.”

-------------------o------------------

He looks at you
the way that I would.
Does all the things
I know that I could.
If only time could just turn back.

‘Cause I have three little words
that I’ve always been dying to tell you.

-------------------o------------------

It was the wedding day. You were ready, the people were on their seats, the groom was already there, your family, friends, everyone was waiting for the wedding to start.
Sehun were at his house all dressed up, looking at the mirror, debating if he should go or if he shouldn’t. At the end he went there and he got there in time, so he went to the bride’s room to give you some words for your day. When he saw you, his words went *Puff*. You were gorgeous, your dress was pure white, your hair had some waves that made it look beautiful and the veil on your head made you look like a bride that came out of a princess movie.

“Sehun-ah!!” You screamed and ran to your friend and gave him a bear hug. After a few seconds you separated from the embrace and said: “Do I look pretty?” moving from side to side so he could see you all.

“Of course you do ________” he said taking your hands. “You’re pretty since the day you have born.

“Thank you Sehun” you said giving him another hug. “It means a lot that you’re here. At this special day for me.”

“Don’t thank me. It’s my job remember? Best friends forever?” he said laughing.
You separated from the hug and looked at him laughing.

“Babo.” You said as if you were mad, but smiled.

“Hahaha sure. Anyways, I’ve prepared some speech. You know, best friend words for someone special in their wedding” Sehun said serious but laughed again when he finished.

“Sure. Go on Sir. ­­­” you said laughing.

“Funny! Haha.” He said and then took your hands and looking straight in the eyes, continued. “I’ve been always wanted to tell you that you’re an amazing person. You’re loved by everyone, that you’re kind, lovely, and beautiful. Those qualities makes yourself unique and I love it.

You deserve this and more, you deserve every good thing on Earth. I wish that Eli brings you happiness, love, care and a beautiful family, So you can be the girl most happy from this entire world. Because you deserve that and more. And if you ever need me you know what to do, I will always be there for you no matter what. That’s how much I love you.”

You couldn’t help but too gave another hug. Trying not to cry but you failed at it.

“Thank you so much Sehun. I love you too. A lot. Thanks for always being here by my side even when I pushed you away for being with Eli. I’m so sorry if I ever made you feel bad. You’re really special for me Sehun. I love you.” You said and squeezed your friend a bit more and then separate from the hug looking at Sehun into his eyes.

“You know” you continued. “Before Eli, I was in love with you, but I didn’t want to break our friendship, I didn’t want to lose you so I never said anything, but you will always have a space in my heart.”

Sehun was so shocked. He couldn’t believe that. He was so stupid, he had the possibility to be with you, but afraid of losing you he didn’t say anything as well.

“I didn’t tell you the reason why I left MinAh” Sehun said trying not to cry. “It was because I had feelings for you… since ever.” You were speechless.

“I’m so sorry that this happens like this Sehun. I’m really sorry.” You said almost throwing yourself to the floor and start to cry.

“It’s time!! Everyone is waiting!” Your mother shouted from outside the room where you were with Sehun.

“Going!! You said. And looked at Sehun again.

“Don’t worry about me noona, it’s your special day” Sehun said and steped aside so you could go. “Hyung is waiting for you.”

“Don’t go” you stopped him, grabbing him by the arm. “I want you to be with me until the end. If it’s not too much to ask for.”

Sehun looked at you not knowing what to do. He sighed lowering his head a bit, and when he looked at you in the eyes, smiling offered his arm so you could take him. “If she’s happy, I’m happy” he thought.

He went down with you grabbing his arm and stayed by her side while entering into the salon. Everybody were seeing you both walking like that. She looked at you while walking and met your eyes smiling, then rested her head in your arm. When she was in front of Eli she let go of you giving you a kiss on the cheek like she used to do since childhood and took Eli’s hand.

-------------------o------------------

But I see you with him
slow dancing
tearing me apart
‘cause you don’t see.
Whenever you kiss him
I’m breaking.

-------------------o------------------

Sehun started to remember a few times when you guys were really united. Like the connection between him and you were really strong, still you guys were nothing more than friends. Like her birthday, where Sehun planned the whole thing, and it was a surprise.

            You were turning 18 and you thought your family wouldn’t do anything, just buy a cake and sing happy birthday between you, your brother and maybe Eli and Sehun. What you didn’t know was that Sehun planned your birthday. He wanted it in a hotel, so he reserved a hotel room where you were staying with your family and the one where he was staying with Eli and the pool area for the night. He knew that you loved to watch the night sky and you also like pools, so you could have both, including a surprise that he knew you would love. He gave the room key to your parents and he told them to say that it was a gift you won in a store. And they did. While you, Eli and your family were packing the things they’ll use, Sehun were buying the chocolate cake that you liked the most, a bouquet of flowers and the final surprise.

It was the sunset already and you were already at the hotel. You wanted Sehun and Eli to be there with you, but you lose your hopes with Sehun ‘cause he said he had an appointment already, while Eli was on his way there.

Your family went to the pool area at night and saw everything decorated with lights and with only 6 pool chairs with individual towels on top of them. You were having fun at the pool and watching the stars and drinking soda. Then you went out of the pool and sat on your pool chair and took your phone to check the hour. It was 8:40 pm.

At that moment you received a message:

Sehun:

“Happy Birthday”

You:

 You’re not here, how is this supposed to be
a happy birthday? I miss you!  

Sehun:

Look behind you.

 

You looked behind and saw him with Eli who came out of the pool to help Sehun with the cake while he carried the bouquet of your favorite flowers. Sehun started to sing the happy birthday song then your family sing along with him.

You started to cry from so much happiness and after they finished, you made a wish and blow out the candles. When Sehun gave you the flowers, you gave him a hug making that you both almost fell because the floor was wet.

After that surprise you kept having fun now with Sehun, and exactly at 10:00 pm Sehun asked you to come out of the pool and follow him, and so you did.

Not too far from the pool he had a box and two chairs. He then asked you to open the box and you did it all excited and when you saw what was inside, you almost cry and gave him another bear hug and stood there like that for long seconds.

“I hope you liked all this” Sehun said. “Happy birthday, love”

“Did you planned the whole thing?” you asked him looking at his eyes.

“Everything.” Sehun said.

“Thank you soo much Sehun! You can’t imagine how happy I am right now. It’s so far the best birthday gift and party I had since ever. Thanks a lot! Love you soo much!!” you said giving another hug.

Then you took what was inside of the box. It was 3 fireworks tube (?) and a lighter.

And that’s how you spent your birthday with your best friend, family and who is now your boyfriend…

 

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Oh, how I wish that was me
with my hands on your waist
while we dance in the moon light

I wish it was me
that you call later on
‘cause you want to say good night.

But I see you with him
slow dancing
tearing me apart
‘cause you don’t see
whenever you kiss him
I’m breaking

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Eli, looking at you took your ring, and place it on your finger looking at your beautiful eyes while saying:

“I give you this ring as a sign that I choose you and as a reminder that I will always love you. To be my lover, my partner and my best friend, to the end of my days. Wear it, think of me, and know that I love you. With this ring I take you to be my trusted confidante and partner for life.”

-------------------o------------------

Oh How I wish

-------------------o------------------
 

Smiling a bit and feeling a little nervous you took Eli’s ring and placing it on his finger you said:

 “I give you this ring as a sign that I choose you and as a reminder that I will always love you. To be my lover, my partner and my best friend, to the end of my days. Wear it, think of me, and know that I love you. With this ring I take you to be my trusted confidante and partner for life.”

You both looked at each other and smiled together.

-------------------o------------------

Oh How I wish

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No one but you can declare yourselves married. You have begun it here today in speaking your vows before your family and friends and you will do it again in the days and years to come, standing by each other, sharing all the sweet and the bitter of life. Each tender act, each loving word, will be the declaration of what was made here today.

You changed your sight to the crowd of family and friends gathered there, looking for Sehun. You met his eyes and you knew that even tho' he was smiling, he was in pain. He was doing it all for you. Just thinking about that your eyes got teary so you looked back at Eli.

In the honesty and sincerity of what you have said and done here today, and in accordance with the laws of ­­­________ (country name). It is my honor and delight to declare you to be husband and wife. You may seal your vows with a kiss.

You and Eli got closer; Eli putting his hand on the back of your head and the other one down in your back; you putting both of your arms around Eli's neck, you both kissed sealing your marriage. Everyone in the crowd started clapping as you two kissed and then the DJ put the wedding song so you can leave the place.

You were outside and you were about to throw back the bouquet of flowers, so the girls were gathering together. You turned back and when you were throwing the flowers Sehun were leaving the place and looking down the flowers ended up at his feet. He stopped there looking at them. The girls laughed because Sehun seemed to be the one who catch them. He picked it up and looked at you and smiling.

- "Hey Sugar" she said as she walked to you.

- "Hey" he said with a smirk "I think they lost" lifting the bouquet so you can see what he was talking about.

- "But you're not a girl Sehun!" You said laughing, making him laugh. "I don't know if it'll work with you".

- "Should I let you throw it again?" He asked offering you the flowers.

- "Nah. Keep it. You deserve more than that." You said looking at his eyes. "Will you be ok?"

- "I can't say that I will be now, but I guess that I can be later on. If you don't disappear again, and as long as you're happy, I will be happy:"

- "I'm sorry for..." You got shushed by his finger.

- "I'm not asking you for anything. I just want you to be happy. Past is in the Past right now, what matters is that you can have a good life with your husband from now on." You remained silent but nodded trying not to cry. "I love you and I always will. And just because of that, I want you to be happy. I don't care what happens to me as long as you can smile."

Eli was walking around looking for you and he finally saw you talking with Sehun. He has always respected your friendship with him because Sehun was a really good friend and he had helped him a lot, so he remained far from you two, so he couldn't hear what you guys were talking about. Until Sehun saw you.

-" Hyung!" he shouted. Eli looked around to see who Sehun were calling. "Hyung!!" Sehun shouted again and Eli understood that it was him who Sehun was calling. You turned around and saw your husband walking to you.

- “‘sup man? How are you?" Eli said giving Sehun a hug.

- "I'm doing well." He said. "You better take care of this Missy here. You know I love and care a lot about her, so you better make her happy."

- " I promise I will. You can trust me." Eli said looking at you and then turning to Sehun. "Thanks for what you have always did to help us out, and for making her smile when I hurt her and for always being by her side."

- "You guys don't need to thank me for doing it. It's a best friend’s job, remember?" Sehun said laughing. "Ah... I really hope you guys can be happy together and have a wonderful family. Wish you guys the best."

- "Thanks Sehun-ah!" You said as you gave him a hug. "I promise that I'll never forget about you and I'll get in touch with you every day" you whispered.

"Now you guys should leave and have lots of fun" Sehun said as he let go of the embrace and shaking hands with Eli.

"See you soon pal!" Eli said.

Eli took your hand and walked along with you as Sehun walked away with the bouquet of flowers on his hands as the last thing from you he would get. Because now you'll be forever with Eli and he cannot get you back...

-------------------o------------------

Oh How I wish that was me....

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