Equally Broken

Hansol-o

(*Author's Note: Ages of K-Pop artists and Actors have been changed to fit the storyline.)

"Ugh..." groaned the girl from the floor. I flinched when the odor of alcohol wafted up from her tattered body and into my nostrils. Coughing and wrinkling my nose, I tried fanning the odor away, but it was no use. Great. Just add this to my list of unfortunate events today.

A cozy couple wearing matching parkas and beanies gave terrified yelps when she grunted and turned over onto her back. They skittered away, like ants from water, muttering in distate at her odor and current situation.

"Oppa~..." She mumbled softly, scratching the soft flesh under her chin. I glanced at her, my heart stopping for a moment. Her voice is so... broken. It sounds exactly like how I feel right now... There was no other way to describe the despair in her tone. I almost felt pity for her.

Curiosity piqued my interest as I stood up from the bench and observed the poor girl. She was beautiful, alright. With smooth, milky skin tinged with pink from the cold, tiny, peach-hued lips, and long, straight raven hair, the girl had a rare type of beauty that any female would pay millions for.  She was dressed in a thin sweater, faded jeans, and fur boots, indicating that she wasn't one for style and neither did she care about the cold. Just thinking about it, I shivered involuntarily. Wow, isn't she cold?

Suddenly, the pub door opened and out flung a thick fur coat and a pair of mismatched gloves. The door slammed shut, silencing the busy holiday night. I picked the items up, unsure of what to do next. Another couple strolled by, not caring a bit that a girl was lying in the freezing snow, possibly unconcious. They gave me and her winter wear clutched in my hands an inquiring gaze and began whispering amongst each other, "...must be her boyfriend."

I spun around, about to correct their absurd assumption, but sniffling and soft crying from behind me stopped the protest in its tracks. Is she... crying?

I glanced back and saw the girl curled up in a ball, holding her face in her hands while her long hair cascaded down to cover her tears. I just stood there, contemplating what I should do. Should I talk to her? Or should I just leave her jacket and go? I don't want to get involved in her drama, because clearly, she needs help. But, from what I see, no one else wants to help her...

Approaching her cautiously, I extended my arm to tap her shoulder. She whipped her head. I bit back a yelp because she wasn't exactly pretty anymore. Streaks of black mascara disfigured her cheeks and her chapped bottom lip trembled from both the cold and crying. Snot dampened her philtrum and was beginning to harden due to the frosty air. Oh, man... She looks like a wreck!

"Uh... Um... Are you okay?" I asked, the syllables fumbling out of my mouth as if I was a babbling baboon. I mentally slapped myself for sounding so stupid.

"N... No..." She barely whispered before bursting into tears again.

"O-Oh! Don't cry! Please..." I tried finding a way to get her up without actually touching her, but she was too immersed in her crying to take notice of what I was doing. With a frustrated exhale, I stuck my arms under her armpits and hoisted her up. I was a bit surprised at how light she was.

She suddenly turned around and punched me right in the chest, surprising me even more. I'd never had a girl punch me before (other than Naeun when we broke up, but even then, her punches weren't as hard). I rubbed my chest, trying to find the words to express my astonishment.

"Oppa! You're so bad! Nappeun nom!" She cried, staring accusingly at me. I was at a lost for words. She thinks I'm her OPPA???

"Excuse me, Miss, but--"

"Why would you do this to me? Why would you leave me? Did you think I would be able to move on without you?" At the start of each question, she punched me in the gut, the arm, the chest, anywhere that would leave a visible bruise, basically. "Do you know long I waited for you to come back? And now, you're leaving again! Nappeun nom!"

Then, she punched me square in the jaw.

I flew back and landed in a pile of snow under a tree and bump my head against the trunk. Another pile of snow landed on top of me. Already fuming from this injustice, I popped out of the pile, ready to attack her with extremely colorful words. But then, she disarmed me again.

This time, it was a hug.

"Oppa, I promise to be a good girl. I promise to never get in the way of your dreams. You know, right? Your dreams are my dreams. And I will stop at nothing to help you achieve them..." She mumbled against my battered chest. I sighed. Why does she remind me so much of Dabin?

"Um... Look, Miss," I said, trying to peel her away from my body. Mind you, she still smelled like soju and beer. "I don't know who this Oppa of yours is. But, it looks like you're going to have to talk to him, not me."

She looked up at me, then widened her eyes when she realized that I was indeed not her Oppa. She bowed quickly, deeply, and apologetically.

I almost burst out in laughter from her sincerity. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Sir. I didn't mean to--"

"It doesn't matter. Here, your coat and gloves."

She took her items from me and bowed again. "Thank you... I'm so sorry. I hope that I didn't hurt you."

I rubbed my jaw, a smile twitching at my lips. "Actually, you kind of did."

"I did??? Oh! I'm--"

"So sorry?" I chuckled, finally realizing how ridiculous the situation was. I was still covered in snow, the girl had finally sobered and regained her senses, and we were stuck together on Christmas Day. She had an Oppa who she definitely cared about and I had parents who... I'm struggling to understand, but still care deeply about.

"Yeah..." She sniffed herself and sighed dejectedly. "Wow, I really stink."

"Haha, yeah. No joke."

"And you endured my smell for this long..."

"Look, no worries, alright?" I took the coat from her hands and wrapped it around her arms. "You must be really cold."

"Thank you for being so kind, Sir. I really didn't mean to treat you like that."

"Like I said, Miss, no worries. I have nothing against you. I know what it's like to break up with someone I really like." Okay, I DID like Naeun. She really wasn't too bad.

"But, I didn't go through a break-up."

I blinked at the girl. Wait, what? "You didn't go through a break-up?"

"No... My brother is leaving me for a woman."

"What??? You're in love with your brother?" I cried, attracting the attention of numerous passers-by. She widened her eyes and hastily slapped a hand over my mouth.

"No, you stupid idiot!" She hissed, looking around at the staring people. She took her hand off of my mouth and smacked my arm, earning a groan from me. "I'm not in love with my brother! He just came back from the army and now, he says that he wants to marry a girl! I only got to see him for ten days!"

The girl sighed and ran a hand through her hair. She sniffled. "What am I going to do without my Oppa? He and my namdongsaeng (*little brother) are all I have left..." She stood up and stumbled off into the direction opposite of me. I softened at her words. While I stared at her retreating back, questions floated freely in my head.

Should I follow her or should I stay? What if she gets into more trouble? But, her business isn't in my business. I'm certainly not her guardian. Why should I take care of her when she's a complete stranger? Yet... she can't go around on her own like that. She isn't exactly ugly, which means that she could be a possible target for ing and... You know what? Screw this. I'm gonna follow her.

"Wait up!" I called out, jogging after her. She whipped around, surprise reflected in her expression.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm coming with you. Wherever you want to go tonight, I'll go. It's the night of Christmas Day, for goodness sakes. I have nothing else to do and it seems like you have no one else to be with, so... I'll follow you tonight," I replied with a shrug.

She sighed. "You're right. I have no one else to be with. My Oppa is with his beloved and my parents are out of the country."

"So, where do you want to go, Miss...?" Oh, shoot. I don't even know her name!

"Ah, that's right. We don't know each other's names. I'm Hong Ra-in." She stuck out her hand with a lopsided smile.

I grasped her petite hand with mine and smiled genuinely for the first time that night. "I'm Kim Hansol."

~:~:~:~:~

After freshening up at a public bathroom, Ra-in and I made our way to a much more conservative place, a street restaurant that sold guks and jjigaes (*soups and stews) for very cheap prices. The vendor ahjumma was someone I was familiar with, for that tent held many memories from my high school days.

Therefore, when I entered the tent with Ra-in in tow, Ahjumma gave a coo not unlike an aunt seeing her newborn nephew for the first time and pinched my cheeks, a ritual she developed over the years of knowing me.

"Aigoo, uri Sollie! Jal jinaesseo? (*Oh my, our Sollie! Have you been well?) And you're here with a pretty friend! She's much prettier than the last one, Sollie." She mused, sending a motherly smile towards Ra-in.

I flushed pink at her assumption, but ignored confirming or denying it to avoid any more questions. "Ye, Ahjumoni, jal jinaesseo. (*Yes, Aunty, I've been well.) May my  friend and I have some rice and two kimchi jjigaes?"  

"Of course, Sollie! Have a seat and I will get to you right away."

Ra-in and I sat down at the bar-like counter nearest to the ahjumma's register. I could tell that Ra-in was smirking at me.  

"So... You've been here before with girls?"

"I'd rather not speak about it, if you don't mind."

"And 'Sollie'? I'm sorry to say this, Hansol, but she treats you like a five-year-old."

"She and I have a special relationship, Ra-in-ssi. She has every right to treat me as a five-year-old," I muttered through gritted teeth.

Ra-in propped her chin onto the heels of her palms and mocked interest with wide eyes. "Oh, really? Tell me about this special relationship."

"Excuse me, but we aren't close enough for that story to be told."

"Oh, come on. You know about my brother. We're basically best friends, in my eyes!"

"Don't kid yourself, Ra-in-ssi. Just because you know my name, that doesn't mean we can just trade secrets right away," I said with a roll with my eyes. "And a friendship takes time to form."

"Gosh, aren't you an uptight jerk?" She huffed, leaning back in her chair with a pout. She tapped her pointer against her bottom lip. "That just makes me more curious about you, though. You seem very kind and genuine, but when it comes to personal questions, you turn cold. Just what kind of person are you?"

"I'm the type of person whose bad side is a side you wouldn't want to see," I threatened, trying to appear intimidating. "So stop asking questions and wait for your food to arrive, before my fist targets your face."

Ra-in was quiet for a moment, then she bursted out in laughter, clutching the edge of the table to keep from falling out of her seat. I exhaled sharply, somewhat miffed by her reaction. Gasping, she said, "I'm sorry, but... You should have seen your face! It was priceless! A flower boy trying to appear-- BWAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Darn it. This girl just can't be fooled. "Will you stop laughing? You're making a scene here! And I'm not a flower boy!"

"Ow... my stomach..." Tears had begun streaming out of her eyes. It was really a sight to behold, a beautiful girl with long dark hair laughing like a hyena with tear-streaked cheeks and a wide open mouth. Very attractive.

"Okay, Kids. Here are your kimchi jjigaes. My dear, why are you holding your stomach? Are you in pain?" The ahjumma asked, genuinely concerned.

"Aniyo, Ahjumoni," I quickly answered before Ra-in could say anything. "It's alright. She's just... recovering from a laughing spell."

"Oh," chuckled Ahjumma. She leaned in closer to me and whispered loudly, "I think I like this one, Sollie. She has a wonderful sense of humor." She placed a warm hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "Let me know if the jjigae isn't tasty."

"That will never happen, Ahjumoni. You know that," I called out as she returned to her register. I smiled a little to myself before turning back to Ra-in, who finally seemed to regain her sanity. "Yah, Ra-in-ssi. Our food is here."

"Wah... Kimchi jjigae! I haven't had this for... three years? Jal meokesseumnida (*I will eat well)!" With a wide, child-like smile, Ra-in dug in. And boy, did she dig in. Not caring a bit about the heat or her image, she slurped spoonful after spoonful of the stew.

My jaw dropped. Does such a girl exist? Apparently, she does and she's right in front of me.

Ra-in stopped stuffing her face long enough to ask, "Aren't you hungry?"

I am, but... "Looking at you makes me have indigestion," I replied with a frown. "Don't you know how to eat like a refined woman?"

"Of course, I do. But, I'm too hungry to even think of eating like a refined woman right now. If you want, I can pay for the meal," she offered, pulling out her wallet.

I sighed and pushed her wallet away. "No, it's alright. I'll pay. You know, I've never met anyone like you. I thought that girls like you existed only in dramas."

She gave a sweet chuckle (unlike the gut-splitting laughter she had before) and swatted my arm. "Oh, Hansollie, you're so funny!"

"I'm serious. And will you stop with the banmal (*informal speech) already? I could be older than you, for all you know!"

"Oh, really? How old are you?"

"Twenty-one years old. June 15th."

"Good, because I'm 21, also. November 13th."

I cursed mentally. Darn it, we're the same age. Well, she's still younger than me by five months.

"So, we can speak informally, right?" She asked, flashing me a smile that could melt the ice in Antarctica.

I groaned. "Yeah, I guess."

~:~:~:~:~

"So, what were you doing outside of the pub, Hansol?" Ra-in asked sleepily. She just had her second bowl of kimchi jjigae and downed another bottle of soju.

I gazed at the soju shot glass in my hand, swirling around its contents and weighing the weight of her question. "Escaping."

"Escaping from what?"

"From reality."

Ra-in breathed in deeply and slapped her cheeks to keep herself awake. "Reality?"

"My... mom used to work at that pub as a waitress. It's funny how that place was a place of solace for me. It was home for a little while." I dumped the sweet, burning liquid into my mouth and gulped, shuddering as the soju worked its magic against the cold feeling in my chest.

"I'm guessing that she doesn't work there anymore..."

"Nope."

"Are things okay between the two of you?"

"You could say that. It's my father that I can't stand."

"...Why?"

"Because he did it first."

"Did what first?"

"Cheat."

There was silence as the two of us worried about our current situations. I couldn't explain it, but I felt a bond with Ra-in. Sure, we were the same age and we were even drinking together. However, I couldn't explain why I wanted to protect her. She reminded me so much of Dabin. It's because she's childish. That's why she reminds you of Dabin, babo.

"My Oppa and I are usually on good terms. But, tonight... he and I got into a huge argument. He was the one who threw me out..." Ra-in's bottom lip trembled at the memory. "He said that he was going to marry the girl, whether I liked it or not. He and I are the only adults left in our family. We need to at least salvage whatever is left."

"So, your Oppa wants you to accept her?"

After a pause, she murmured, "Yes. Jonghyun-oppa has always been set on his decisions, but this is the first time he didn't involve me in his decision. It's as though he doesn't care about what I think anymore."

"How old is your Oppa?"

"Twenty-five."

"Ah, well... He's at that age."

"I have a feeling that this independence is due to the army. He feels that he should be free from my younger brother and I." Ra-in blinked and a tear fell on her lap. "Ugh, why am I crying? I've been crying too much today."

I wrapped a hesitant arm around her shoulders and squeezed. "It's alright... I sort of understand how you feel."

"Hansol... I'm really sorry about punching you earlier. I was really angry with my Oppa," she whispered, her voice growing tight with emotion. "If I just... accept her without talking to Jonghyun-oppa first, I won't be able to live with myself. I just can't--" She turned and clutched onto my shirt, sobbing uncontrollably into my chest.

"It's alright, Ra-in... Just let it out..."

Ra-in cried for a while, mumbling her Oppa's name once in a while. I did everything I could to calm her down. I her hair, whispered soothing words, and even hugged her tightly to keep her from breaking down completely.

Fifteen minutes later, she was out. Laid out on my lap, breathing soundly and evenly, I could finally see the resemblance between Ra-in and Dabin. I curled a stray lock of dark hair around her ear, smiling a bit.

Their innocence. Their absolutely pure and untouched innocence.

Something that Naeun never had...

...

Do I like her?  
 

*****Hey, all! I know that there haven't been any subscribers, but if there have been readers, I hope you like it so far! Here is the second third of the story. We're almost done! ^^ As always, please comment and subscribe! Constructive criticism is always welcome. :)*****

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sandrafilipamm #1
this should be a sequel !