Taemin paced quickly back and forth. Faint dread filled his heart. Obama should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like him to be late. Oh, my sweet love, Taemin thought. Where could you be?

Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Obama had been taken hostage by Pained , a supervillain who had the city in a state of stale terror. Taemin fainted dead away, as a thousand daggers struck through every bone in his being.

When he came to, there was a bruise on his buttcrack and the dread had returned. "Obama, my poor honey bunny," he cried out quickly. "What is Pained doing to you?" Probably torturing him, laughing huskily as he caresses him in unholy places. 

In the midst of all the terror and tears, Taemin remembered a story his grandmother had told him. If you fold 1000 paper hearts, then whatever you wish for will come true.

Taemin ordered in a supply of origami paper and set to work, folding hearts until his s were sore and he could hardly see. It took an entire week. He was just finishing up the very last heart when Obama walked through the front door.

"Obama-hyung!" Taemin screamed and threw himself into Obama's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 hearts and it brought you back to me." He was so happy, he felt like he was dancing on the edge of a cliff. He kissed Obama gently on the nose.

"Actually," Obama said, pulling away briskly, "I was rescued by the Super Sack. He's a new superhero in town." Obama sighed. "And he's really bangin'."

The dread came back. "But you're happy to be back here with me, right?"

Obama checked his watch. "Sure, babe. But I've got to go meet the Super Sack for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay y." He left and the door banged behind him.

Taemin choked back a sob and started folding another heart. Then he threw all of the hearts away and went out to get drunk off of soju instead.