Every single time I went back to visit my old school, I will always visit that little corner. It was where I spent a week and a half with him. The boy who wore a sad face all the time, the boy who barely ever spoke and the boy who was my first crush.

It was 5 years ago when I first met him, it was July 20th, 2009. I was having my lunch break but due to the crowded cafeteria, I decided to eat elsewhere, which was actually forbidden. I would have been caught by the fierce and scary principal, Mr Kim, but because of the boy, I got away. 

I remembered him grabbing my arm and pulling me into that small, little corner under the staircase that I didn't expect two people to fit in. I was shocked and wanted to scream, but he immediately covered my mouth with his cold hand, which made my eyes widen.

I didn't know how he looked like at that moment, because he was behind me while I was facing the front. But I could smell his scent, it was warm and pleasant, I never knew a boy would smell this nice.

I tried moving, but he stopped me as soon as we heard Mr Kim's booming voice. I wanted to giggle because I didn't know someone could be this eager to catch someone eating somewhere else other than the cafeteria. Oh, I nearly forgot, he was a neat freak and hated to see litter or small pieces of food on the floor. That was why he created the rule of eating only at the cafeteria. He was one weird principal.

My heart was beating loudly and beads of persipiration were forming on my forehead due to two reasons; Mr Kim's nearing footsteps and a guy being so close to me for the first time.

We stayed in silence for a few minutes before he let go of me, after making sure that Mr Kim had walked far away. Immediately after he freed me, I took a few steps back and faced him. 

My eyebrows raised and I blinked at him. I have never seen him in my school, not even once. I scanned him from head to toe. He was awfully skinny and he was slightly taller than me. His hair was neatly cut and didn't have fringe that covered his forehead or sideburns that were too long. His eyes were big and doe-like, and he was staring right back at me. His nose was perfectly symmetrical and he had thick and pale lips.

He was the first to break the eye contact. Without a word, he sat down cross legged and took out a piece of sliced bread from his big black bag. I furrowed my eyebrows at him, then mumbled a 'thank you'. 

He didn't answer and I walked away, not wanting to disturb him.
 

The next day, I went to find him again. The reason was because I found him extremely weird and mysterious. It made me want to find out more about him. I thought he wouldn't leave an impression, but he was on my mind the whole night I couldn't fall asleep. This time, I was smart enough not to bring any food; I didn't want any trouble or skinship.

When I reached, he was eating bread again while staring at the wall in front of him. I wonder if he noticed me sitting beside him. I just stared at the wall as well, wondering what was so interesting about it.

After a few minutes of staring, I got bored and decided to strike up a conversation.

"What's your name?" I asked, tilting my head to look at him.

He gave me a look, then mumbled something that I couldn't figure out.

"Huh?" I leaned in, which made him to back away.

"Sungyeol, Lee Sungyeol," he said in a low, soft voice.

"Ah," I nodded and brought my hand out, "I'm JaeAh, Kwon JaeAh."

He glanced at my hand, then hesitated for a moment before shaking it. I grinned and thanked him for yesterday. When he heard it, his eyes lit up and his lips curled into a small smile.

That was the day we became friends. That was the first time I saw him smile, and probably the last time.

From that day onwards, I came to that corner everyday because it was my promise. He didn't decline nor accept, but I still came and talked to him. Actually, not really, most of the time, I just talked to myself since he was someone with very few words. I didn't mind, though. At least there was someone who was listening to me.

Till this day, I would never forget the days where he spoke or replied to whatever I was saying. I could almost remember all of the rare words that came out of his mouth.

(Day 4)

"You know, I really wonder why you would want to spend your lunch break here. I mean, it's such a squeezy place and—" 

"—then go away." he shot me a glare and I gulped, realising that I've said something wrong. I bit my lip and we kept silent until the break ended. It was one of the most awkward moments I've ever had in my life.

(Day 6)

I let out a huge sigh as I walked towards the little corner. As I sat down beside him, I sighed again and brought my knees to my chest, hugging it closely. "W-what's wrong?" he asked, glancing at me. That was the first time he started a conversation and I was shocked. I wanted to smile at him for being thoughtful since it made me knew that he cared, he bothered. I wanted to thank him, but I was too upset to do so.  My friends had teased me for answering a wrong question in class, and being the overly sensitive me, I started crying. Tears were blinding my vision and I started to sob.

"It's o-okay," I could hear the concern in his voice, I could feel that he was worried. I would never forget this day, since it was the day I started to see him as a different person. I've always thought that he was emotionless and didn't cared about me or whatever I said, but he proved my wrong that day. I was really touched that day.

(Day 9)

I had always talked to him about a different topic everyday. Today, the topic was love. 

"Ah," I let out a sigh and my shoulders deflated, "I really wonder how it feels like to be in love. Sungyeol-ah, I really want to grow up and find my other half. I really want to have my first kiss too, it's so exciting, don't you agree? It would be under the mistletoe, how sweet would that be? Sungyeol-ah, have you ever loved anyone? What do you think about love?" I stared at him, anticipating his answer.

He only looked at me with a blank expression and shrugged.

But I don't know what happened to me that day, I probably ate something wrong but when I looked at his face, I realised how pure, innocent and beautiful he looked. He was like an angel dropped from heaven. I blinked, realising that I was staring at his face.

II closed my eyes, leaned in, and gave him a peck on his right cheek. I moved away and beamed, "If I had a flower for every time I thought of you...I could walk through my garden forever."

His eyes widened and he looked at me as if I had just killed someone. His cheeks flushed pink and he immediately stood up. Screaming at the top of his lungs, he ran far away, as if he was being chased by a wild dog. 

I giggled lightly at his reaction. The more time I spend with him, the more I found him interesting. He always did things that were so unpredictable and it didn't take me long to realise that I saw him as more than a friend. 

My lips slowly curved upwards as I thought back to all those precious moments. I was probably too young to know what I was doing back then. I chuckled lightly at the cheesy quote, that was so unexpected from me. Although the time I spent with him was short, the memories will be etched in my mind forever. My smile soon faded as I remembered that day. It was something I would never forget as well, but how I wished I could. I bit my lip and clenched my fists, trying hard not to cry.
 

(Day 11)

I happily skipped to the usual corner, holding up and beaming at the thing in my hand. I had brought a mistletoe, today was going to my the day of my first kiss and confession. I smiled and blushed as I imagined us sharing a romantic kiss. 

But to my surprise, he wasn't there when I reached. He had always been there before me, as if he had been there all along. I furrowed my eyebrows, wondering where he would have gone. I blinked, confused at what was happening at the moment. I dropped the mistletoe and walked to the corner lifelessly. 

"S-Sungyeol-ah?" My voice croaked.

I looked around for him, but it was a small corner, he wouldn't be hiding anywhere. And that was when I saw a small piece of paper lying on the ground. I immediately reached for it. Even though I have yet to read anything, I knew that something was wrong; and it was not good at all.

Slowly, I opened the piece of paper. I didn't even realise that my hands were trembling.

It was a short note, as expected from him. There were just a few words, but those words were enough to make me break down. Tears started to stream down my cheeks and my heart was aching really badly. Even though I was a sensitive kid, I never cried so hard in my life before. I sank to the floor, sobbing and sniffing hard.

That was the end of our story, us and my memories of him. He was gone and would never come back again. I was too late, I never had a chance to tell him how much I wanted to thank him for everything.

To thank him for allowing me to stay in that little corner, for always listening to me, for making me laugh with his unexpected reactions and everything else. I wanted to let him know how great and special he was and how much I loved him, as a friend and more than a friend.

But I would never be able to do so. 
 

I let out a loud sigh as a tear escaped from my eye. I reached into my pocket and took out the crumpled piece of note. It was the note that Sungyeol left. I took a deep breathe before opening it.

JaeAh.

I hear you.

I thank you.

I friend you.

What is love? You ask.

Love is what remains after one is gone.

I do love you.

-Sungyeol

I guess I do agree with what some people say about first love. It is sweet and memorable. However, it would never last, since it comes when we were still stupid, immature children.

I know, the ending can be improved! I might include a part two or just change the ending... but for now, tell me what you think please! and what the hell, this was longer than I expected. I know Sungyeol's letter was in broken english but it's because he's still a kid. Just to anyone who is a Grammar Nazi.