Jinyoung doesn’t log on at the same time that night.

He’s managed to keep away from Runescape (and archangelic) for almost a month now, only sneaking in short quests here and there in his other accounts, but every second spent away is another wallowing in an expanding pool of guilt and regret, and that short debate in his basement that night has finally cracked him. 

Jinyoung bites uneasily on his bottom lip that night as he logs onto Runescape, rehearsing his grand excuse speech in his head. He opens his friend bar once his feet hit the ground, simultaneously relieved and terrified once he sees that Chansik is online.

Chat request pending

Jinyoung waits for three agonising seconds before the box pops up, and Chansik (archangelic, now) types a hello?

the-philophobic-fox says: hey :) um it’s been a while hehe. I had a project to rush the past few weeks so I couldn’t log on

archangelic says: ohh I see :) you see the Christmas events yet? 

the-philophobic-fox says: nope haha I just got on :P Feel like updating me?

The relief Jinyoung feels is immeasurable once they slide back into the usual banter, and he’s just getting comfortable in the conversation when Chansik makes an abrupt request.

archangelic says: can you get on maple?

the-philophobic-fox says: huh?

archangelic says: you have an account, right? :) want to play on maple?

the-philophobic-fox says: um sure :o 

archangelic says: channel 11 at Victoria island on cassieopeia okay? :)

He disappears before Jinyoung can say yes.

Jinyoung opens up MapleStory, still floundering in confusion, and by default chooses the character he’s been trying to train for some time now, and begins making his way over to Victoria Island slowly, taking a wrong turn and having to sidetrack because he’s so absorbed in trying to figure out what Chansik’s trying to do.

He realises Chansik hasn’t told him where in Victoria Island to meet just as he gets there, and hangs around in Lith Harbour awkwardly. Channel 11 is emptier than the main ones, and only a few people are hanging around in the area, obviously waiting for their friends to show up. Victoria Island is a popular meeting point. Jinyoung runs a hand through his hair in frustration as he scans through the sparse gathering. There’s a heavily armoured Evan by the name of potatoskins for some reason and a Luminous running back and forth, obviously bored, and a Kaiser clad from head to toe in the majestic black and gold fourth job advancement armour-…

Wait a second.

angelical says: heyy hyung! :)

philophobia says: what

What indeed. Chansik obviously hasn’t had this armour for long, or he would’ve customised it, but wow, the black wings, the gigantic black gold-lined sword, the white slits representing his eyes shining smugly from under his black helmet are doing weird things to Jinyoung’s heartbeat. Chansik covers three quarters of the screen in one speed burst which probably didn’t even dent his mp bar, and Jinyoung takes a virtual step back, blinking. Jinyoung’s called back down to Earth when his chat rings with another notification.

angelical says: …angelic buster?

It takes Jinyoung some time to actually figure out what Chansik’s saying, and his cheeks burn red when he does. Angelic Buster had only been released recently as part of the Nova class, not long after the Kaisers, and they’re about as girly as any of the jobs can get. They even have a Barbie-esque dress up song which can be replayed upon returning to the closet at any time, which Jinyoung has been trying to avoid at all costs. He’d set up this account not long before they’d taken the option down altogether, so he hasn’t gotten very far in his training yet, but hey¸ no need to be rude. 

philophobia says: I thought we were training >:(

angelical says: well yeah we are, pfffttt. I’m finishing up for my Kaiser, my main account’s a Wildhunter.

Wow. Jinyoung blinks. Just how many accounts has Chansik trained up? As if Chansik’s read his mind, he replies easily.

angelical says: I’ve only done for the recent ones, I haven’t fully trained up all my original ones like the mage and stuff because they fight so slow D: 

philophobia says: are you kidding me I haven’t even fully trained like three

angelical says: but you’ve finished training on runescape :) lol it’s okay you’ll catch up soon on maple child

Jinyoung rolls his eyes. Is this really Chansik on the other end?

philophobia says: I’m older than you I’ll have you know

angelical says: yes halbae-ssi you have had me know

philophobia says: not that old >:(

angelical says: kekekee we shall see. Want to kill spree?

The following half an hour or so consists of, to Jinyoung’s embarrassment, gleeful team tearing through different landscapes, annoying the heck out of the lower level people trying to train. Chansik’s attacks can take out an entire level’s worth of monsters in one go, and Jinyoung easily fills in the gaps that Chansik misses. After about eleven requests to change channels and three defamations between the two of them, Jinyoung settles comfortably with Chansik near one of the temples in Pantheon, the most traffic-free place they can find.

angelical says: kinda coincidental don’t you think?

Like you wouldn’t believe, Jinyoung thinks dryly as he replies.

philophobia says: that we met at all? 

angelical says: that too haha, but also who we are, you know

Jinyoung’s heart does this loop-de-loop thing he’d once seen a gymnast do on a bar on television.

angelical says: Kaiser and angelic buster

Oh. Jinyoung’s face flushes red once again. 

According to the storyline, Kaiser and Angelic Buster were sort of a pair. Angelic Buster, or Tear, was a trainee longing for magic and Kaiser, or Kyle’s, best friend, until they’d tried to defend a monument and Tear had been cursed. After stepping in to defend her, Kyle transformed into Kaiser, thus beginning his storyline. Tear, with newly found powers from the gauntlet that had attached to her during the curse, became a sort of vigilante, Angelic Buster, hence beginning her storyline. From then on, their stories were closely linked, Kaiser oblivious as Tear danced between her identity as heroine Angelic Buster and depressed best friend Tear. Together, they stopped Magnus and a common friend they’d lost to jealousy, Velderoth, from destroying Heliseum, their home.

The word coincidence pops up in his head as he realises how everything is starting to parallel his life, and Jinyoung violently bats it away.

philophobia says: yeah haha I guess. I distinctly remember saving you, though, not the other way around

angelical says: ohh my knight in shining armour~ 

philophobia says: I don’t have a horse, sorry to disappoint you

angelical says: you have a jaguar in your wildhunter acc :3

angelical says: that is, if you have a wildhunter acc hahahaha

philophobia says: ha ha. And I do actually, I just haven’t trained them fully yet

angelical says: pshhh yeah right

angelical says: I bet if we were on maple that time I would’ve been the one saving you instead

philophobia says: im sorry I don’t obliviously follow strangers on party quests I’ve never heard of before

angelical says: heyy >:( I didn’t know ok 

philophobia says: yeah okay that was uncalled for, but seriously, don’t follow strangers okay

angelical says: of course I’m going to follow strangers around to weird places after what happened that day

philophobia says: you know there’s like a proverb or something for this

angelical says: oooh bringing out proverbs now are we, better sit down before you hurt yourself

philophobia says: gosh you’re such a handful, why are we even friends

angelical says: because you love me ;)

Jinyoung ignores the uncomfortable squirm in his stomach at those words.

philophobia says: yeah you wish

angelical says: do you?

Jinyoung blinks. The connotations of that question don’t sound very right in that context.

philophobia says: huh?

angelical says: hey, answer this honestly, okay?

Jinyoung frowns and backs away from the screen, shoulders tensing. What’s Chansik trying to get at?

philophobia says: why? What are you going to ask?

angelical says: just say you’ll tell the truth

Though every part of him is giving that sentence worried and doubtful looks, Jinyoung bites his lip and goes for it. Remember, you’re not going to let her affect you anymore. You’re going to forget her.

philophobia says: okay.

angelical says: would you date me?

Jinyoung chokes on air.

philophobia says: what?

angelical says: based on what you know now of me, would you date me?

philophobia says: you mean on maple, or

angelical says: in real life. Would you date me?

Jinyoung feebly throws out an evasive answer.

philophobia says: what happened to staying safe on the internet haha 

angelical says: answer the question

The next answer he types has a little more truth to it than he wants.

philophobia says: I think I should be the one asking you that question

angelical says: just tell me would you?

Jinyoung pauses, breath frozen in his chest, before he deflates in defeat. The “what the heck” voice in his mind (which has recently been revelling in its growing popularity) whispers to go ahead, he doesn’t even know who you are, anyway.

So Jinyoung does.

philophobia says: yeah

philophobia says: I think I would

The following silence in the chat box is expected at first, then starts to get on Jinyoung’s nerves as it stretches on.

philophobia says: um hey haha I just confessed my life’s secret to you may I please have a response

The next line to pop up blows his mind.

angelical is offline.

.

What had he been supposed to say? No, ew gross no thanks? Jinyoung’s starting to panic now. Is it because of his month-long absence? What’s Chansik thinking now? The wild, terrifying thought that Chansik somehow knows who he is, and is currently recoiling in disgust, hits him like a freight train. What was this whole thing, then, some sort of joke? Jinyoung shuts the laptop without bothering to log off, stomach turning over so rapidly and repetitively he feels like he’s going to throw up.

You did it this time. You blew whatever chance you had of a decent relationship in your life. You’re done.

The emotion welling up within him spills out in uncontrollable, hot tears, and Jinyoung viciously punches his pillow before tugging the blanket over his head, coughing roughly to disguise his sobs, sick of people, sick of relationships, and furious at himself for even thinking he had a chance.

Something inside dies when he wonders if someone will ever love him at all. It’s childish and immature and hopeful and everything Jinyoung despises at the moment so he shoves that thought to the back of his mind, burrows into his bedsheets and pretends, like he pretended so well three years ago, everything’s fine and that he never needed someone to love him anyway.

 

Jinyoung’s doing fine with pretending that all the way up till he meets Junghwan and Sunwoo before morning classes and realises they’re going to wait for Dongwoo and Chansik too. He’s seriously considering skipping out and going ahead or feigning a stomach ache and escaping to the toilets when Dongwoo shows up alone, and Jinyoung feels like dying in a whole different way.

“Where’s Channie?” Junghwan chirps curiously, and Sunwoo glares at the use of that nickname but Jinyoung’s too busy desperately waiting for Dongwoo’s answer to care. 

“He’s not feeling well today, so I told him to stay at home and catch up using the online lectures,” Dongwoo says, and Junghwan shrugs and turns away, already rattling off about plans for all of them to visit Chansik with get-well letters and soup, but before Jinyoung can too, Dongwoo grabs his arm and tugs him back slightly.

“I need to talk to you.”

Jinyoung’s stomach wrenches in the way it does when a teacher passes you a failed test and tells you to see her after class at Dongwoo’s words, but when Jinyoung looks at him he sees both firmness and concern in his dark eyes, and inexplicably trusts Dongwoo anyway. He swallows hard before speaking next.

“Okay.”

Dongwoo gestures silently for them to walk slowly towards class as he speaks in a low tone.

“Did something happen between you and Chansik?”

Jinyoung winces. “Wh-what makes you say that?”

“Well,” Dongwoo draws a steadying breath. “From what I’ve seen this morning, Chansik’s sick alright, but he was also more quiet and brooding than I’ve seen him in months, and your face fell when you saw me alone this morning, and you forgot to email me your part of the architecture project last night, which I did myself, in case you’re wondering, so I naturally assumed.”

“Crud, sorry,” Jinyoung flinches. “I…I wasn’t all too focused last night.”

“So I’ve gathered,” Dongwoo says sceptically, as they take a turn into a less crowded corridor. Jinyoung remains mute, unable to meet Dongwoo’s eyes, because it’s the thousandth time he’s apologising to Dongwoo for one of these things and it just makes him feel all the more guilty. When Dongwoo speaks again, his voice is softer, kinder, and Jinyoung feels like an ungrateful brat. 

“I’ve seen the way the two of you act when you’re together. You’ve never talked to a stranger that much before, and you’ve certainly never actually laughed with someone like that before. And I’ve literally known Chansik since he was born, and I think…” Dongwoo tapers off, flicking an invisible speck of dust from one of his books. “I think you need to speak with him.”

Jinyoung’s heart sinks. “Is…is he okay?”

Dongwoo sighs. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on between the two of you…but you need to settle this, okay? Obviously this has been going on a lot deeper than I know but as of now, I’m clueless. However, I do know,” he fixes Jinyoung with a stern gaze. “That there are things you need to tell him personally. And there are things he needs to tell you as well.”

Jinyoung nods numbly, now dragging his feet along the floor as they approach his class. “Will you…keep Junghwan and Sunwoo away while we talk?”

“I think they’ll keep themselves away,” Dongwoo rolls his eyes, and shakes his head when Jinyoung looks confused. “Just talk to him, okay? We’ve all been waiting for this forever. And don’t be so nervous,” he groans. “Ugh, the drama in my life is never going to end.”

“Should’ve picked another best friend,” Jinyoung mumbles, and Dongwoo shoulders him with a laugh that’s meant to reassure, but just makes Jinyoung even more nervous for whatever lies ahead.


However, the nerves don’t properly set in until Jinyoung realises he’s standing right outside Dongwoo’s front door while the owner unlocks it.

“He’s in his room,” Dongwoo points with his chin as he holds the door open. He sounds relaxed enough, though, as though he’s certain that the worst of it is over, so Jinyoung tries to soak up as much of the assurance as possible and hoists his tin of soup like it’s a shield as he heads for the room with the closed door.

“H-hello?” he stutters in the most fantastically obvious way as he knocks (taps, actually) on the door. He hears the creak of a bed, then the click of a lock sliding out of place, and just as he thinks his knees are about to give way the door swings open, and he’s greeted with an oddly intriguing sight.

Chansik clings to the door, peering out hesitantly, hair a complete mess, the sleep from his eyes not completely rubbed out yet. It’s both unfamiliar and endearing, because Jinyoung’s never seen Chansik except for when he’s polished and awake and…Jinyoung’s never seen it till now, but he’s never seen Chansik so unguarded. However, Jinyoung just needs a glance to tell him that Chansik really is sick, and his concern spills out ungraciously.

“Are you okay?” he leans forward, and he’s relieved when Chansik lets out a hoarse giggle. 

“I look like crap, don’t I?” he opens the door a little wider, just enough to let Jinyoung in, sliding a door stopper underneath it with his foot. 

“No, you don’t,” Jinyoung says a bit too quickly, then turns red. “You look a lot better than I do when I’m sick, to be honest.”

“Sure you want to come in? My germs are everywhere,” Chansik coughs slightly, before noting the tin in Jinyoung’s hands. “You brought soup?”

“Y-yeah, this is the one my mom used to get for me when I fell sick,” Jinyoung mumbles as he follows Chansik in. 

“Thanks,” Chansik smiles a genuine smile as he settles down, cross-legged, on the floor, and Jinyoung does likewise, opposite from Chansik. “So I guess we’d better talk, huh?”

“I guess so,” Jinyoung says, before they traipse into silence. He’s bursting with questions and fears but there’s one little nagging doubt waving a red flag, so he decides to address that first.

“How much do you know?”

“How much?” Chansik lets out a short laugh. “I know who you are on Runescape and who you are on Maple. I know that you know who I am on those sites too.”

“How did you figure it out?” Jinyoung asks in an empty voice, feeling his face burn with shame. So he did know all this time.

“I think we both made it pretty obvious that night after the party,” Chansik looks down, away from Jinyoung. “I guess I just made it less obvious that I knew too.”

“So when you asked me,” Jinyoung has to struggle to form his words here. “When you asked me if I would date you…you knew who I was?”

Chansik continues to avoid his eyes, before speaking in a much softer tone, though the pain in his voice hits Jinyoung hard.

“I didn’t know why…” he trails off slightly, as if uncertain about what to say. “I didn’t know why it was so hard for you to accept the idea that someone would like you.”

Jinyoung’s bracing himself for it, but it still knocks him breathless when it comes.

“You make it sound so poetic,” he says with a hollow laugh. “You’ve talked to them, right, your other friends? I’m sure you know why.”

“It’s because you cruelly broke a girl’s heart and they caught you for it,” Chansik says quietly. “But that’s not quite what happened, right?’

“What makes you think so?” Jinyoung says, sarcasm and bitterness bursting out with every word, unable to control his anger. It’s all too much, too many people pulling open the stitches that hold his wounds close, and he’d like to believe it’s the pain that makes him lash out uncontrollably because the alternative would kill him. “Maybe I really am a jerk who goes around breaking people’s hearts when I feel like it because that makes me happy somehow. Why don’t you want to believe what everyone else does?”

“Because I know it isn’t true.”

“How do you sound so sure about that?” Jinyoung looks straight into Chansik’s eyes now, and though he’s trying to cover up the desperation in his voice with anger he knows it’s coming through. “How do you know?”

“Because I know what it feels like,” Chansik says it so softly Jinyoung isn’t quite sure he’s heard it, but it sticks in his mind. His eyes widen, and he straightens, shoulders falling slightly.

“I know what it feels like to have someone hurt you and have everyone else blame you for it.”

Jinyoung’s speechless for a few moments, letting the weight of Chansik’s words sink in, before he closes his mouth, slightly embarrassed at his overemotional outburst.

“I’m sorry,” he mutters, and maybe Chansik can tell he’s telling the truth because he pulls a sorrowful kind of smile on his face. 

“There’s nothing much to be sorry for,” he says, voice bitter in ways Jinyoung’s never heard before. “So how do you want to go about this? I’ll tell you mine and you’ll tell me yours?”

Jinyoung’s breath catches in his chest when it hits him how quickly Chansik’s ready to tell him his story- while Jinyoung’s still shakily feeling his way through his own bloodied battlefield, blinded and bitter. It occurs to him that perhaps, Chansik’s been wanting to tell him this for some time, and he’s just been too submerged in his own pit of pity and self-loathing to notice. 

“Yeah, okay,” Jinyoung nods quietly. Maybe it is time you tell someone else the truth. Chansik’s silent for a moment before opening his mouth, the light Jinyoung’s so used to seeing in his eyes now dead.

“So, how do I put this?” he says in a dry monotone, eyes fixed on some invisible spot on the ceiling. “When I was seven, a couple of college boys locked me in a bathrom for three days and touched me.”

Jinyoung feels like he’s been hit with a sledgehammer. 

“They let me out after a while,” Chansik says, as though trying to gloss over that part of his life as fast as he can, trying to forget it again as quickly as he’s brought it up. “Someone found me and brought me to the police. My parents got really angry when they found out, so as soon as we could find one, we got a lawyer and tried to sue them for it.”

“Tried to?” Jinyoung says, voice shaking. 

“Yeah, see, well, they appealed,” Chansik says flatly. “Their lawyers said they were just boys who didn’t know what they were doing, that they had such potential to become great people for my town in the future and this case would ruin it all for them. Other people started to pitch in, talking about how good they were at sports, studies, that it would be such a pity to let such great talent go to waste just because of one tiny little mistake,” he almost spits the phrase out, but he recovers quickly, and his eyes soften before he continues. “And you know, they had to blame someone in the midst of all the chaos, so they blamed me.”

“How the hell would they even do that?” Jinyoung asks hoarsely, body trembling with shock or anger, he didn’t even know anymore. 

“It was pretty easy, actually,” Chansik’s hands are white, and Jinyoung realises it’s because he’s gripping the material of his pyjama pants so hard. “They just had to set something up about how the boys were just playing a little rough and I was too dumb and stupid to see it as that, and went crying home to my parents about it. They said I was lying, that I just wanted attention and I didn’t know what I was talking about. So,” he gives a painful little shrug. “We lost the case. My parents got some money from an out-of-court settlement but it barely covered the lawyers’ fees. We moved a couple of months after to Suncheon. I guess they wanted to give me the chance to start again, but it’s something you just never quite forget, you know?”

Jinyoung swallows- the lump in his throat is hurting fiercely now, and it’s all he can do to nod, eyes on the floor. A tear which isn’t his hits the floor near his knee, and he looks up to see Chansik hastily wiping the wet tracks from his face. 

“Your turn,” Chansik tries to say it casually, and Jinyoung’s heart splinters just a little further at the pain in his eyes. He lowers his gaze even further.

“It’s nowhere as serious as yours,” he mumbles, and Chansik lets out a sound between a sob and a giggle.

“It’s not like we’re competing,” he says, and Jinyoung lets out a nervous laugh.

“I’m- I’m sorry, it’s just the first time I’ve told anyone, other than Dongwoo,” he breathes in and out in trepidation, but the look in Chansik’s eyes tells him it’s the same with him. 

“Um, when I was in high school, I uh, I had a girlfriend. Bae Suji,” he fumbles over her name, but somehow it brings him so much relief to finally say it out loud without fearing it so much anymore. He takes another deep breath before continuing. “We were kind of a popular couple. She was homecoming queen, pretty, helping with charity, etcetera, and I was running for president of the student council, so it must’ve seemed like some sort of high school drama to people or something,” he struggles to pull together the next few words. “I got kind of busy, I guess. We weren’t spending that much time together anymore. She started acting a little weird, but I had no idea what was going on until she texted me in the middle of the night right before the election speeches to tell me she wanted to break up.”

Jinyoung clenches and unclenches his fists, slowly uprooting every single painful memory he’d beaten himself up so badly to forget. “So in one night, my world ended. I did crap for the speech the next day. Then people started saying things about me, about how I’d been cheating on my girlfriend with the vice-head just so I could assure myself the position of president, and more people caught on, started picking on every mistake I’d made in the past few years so they could be part of the wonderful new trend to criticise me. I thought it’d started from one of my rivals in the student council but the further it carried on, the further it seemed like it was her, you know?” Jinyoung exhales slowly, ignoring the burning sensation in the corners of his eyes. 

“It turns out she’d spilled her thoughts on her blog, that I was playing her all along, I was cheating on her, that I just wanted the position of president and didn’t care whose feelings I stepped on, and people started to make stuff out of it. They pitied her, told her it was okay, there were jerks like me everywhere and promised they would do their best to bring me down. And the worst is-…” Jinyoung’s voice cracks slightly. “I really liked her, you know? I trusted her and everything. And sometimes I think I still do. And they all sounded so righteous about it, that it was up there in black and white that I was the evil antagonist who deserved to die alone in the tragic little romance drama playing up in their heads. 

“So it got worse, they started posting things online, and the teachers stepped in but I think some of them believed the rumours too, so they didn’t exactly try to do much. And my parents caught wind of it too, and they were so disappointed,” the memory of it tears open a scar Jinyoung thought he’d long forgotten, and the emotions bubble out through fresh tears. “I-I thought-…I thought I was going to make them happy, for once, that I was going to hear them say how proud they were of me for living up to their expectations, but no, I guess I just ruined everything for them.”

He glances up apprehensively then, expecting to see a dismissive or exasperated look on Chansik’s face, but he’s surprised to see a ghost of a smile on Chansik’s face, that he looks grateful, relieved, even.

“You, though,” Jinyoung mumbles, turning red. “I can’t imagine how you got through that.”

“Doesn’t matter, though, right?” Chansik says softly, and for some reason his voice reassures Jinyoung, like he could be that calm about remembering, too, someday.

“How…?” Jinyoung looks up at him, trying not to make his voice sound like he’s pleading. “How did you ever forget something like that?”

“You know,” Chansik traces an imaginary line on the floor, as though lost in thought. “My mom once told me…you don’t really need to forget. You just need to know how to cope with remembering.”

Jinyoung doesn’t know how to respond to that, so he keeps his eyes on the floor. “So all this time…you’ve been acknowledging it?”

“Well I don’t particularly bring it to mind all the time,” Chansik shrugs. “But something you know is there can’t surprise you anymore, right?”

Jinyoung remains mute for a while, before voicing the question that’s been on his mind ever since that conversation in his basement that day.

“Do you think…you’ll ever be able to forgive them?”

“So you’ve been thinking about that too,” Chansik says, smiling at nothing in particular, that same serene, downcast smile. He waits a while before speaking again. “I think I already have.”

Jinyoung gapes at him. “How?”

When his question is met with silence, his voice softens slightly, though the urgency remains. “How did you do it so easily? Look what they did to you! They hurt you so much and they didn’t even have to pay for it. How could you forgive something like that?”

“If you think about it,” Chansik says after a moment’s silence. “They’ve probably forgotten who I was or what they did to me. The judge who waived my charges probably doesn’t remember my existence. The people in that town have moved on to another pity case. If I still hate them for what they’ve done,” he catches Jinyoung’s eyes to get the meaning of his words across. “The only one still hurting is me, isn’t it?”

“So you’re just going to let it go like that?” Jinyoung asks, voice hollow. The possibility of it hangs over his head, just within his reach, the possibility he could just forgive her, forgive everyone for everything they’ve done and move on with his life. 

“You should forgive them, but never forget it,” Chansik says slowly, and when Jinyoung looks into his eyes again he realises Chansik’s asking him to forgive them too, expression tentative, eyes waiting for him to tell him yes or no. Jinyoung hesitates, because he doesn’t know it himself if he’ll ever be able to forgive them, but something in Chansik’s eyes tells him he doesn’t need to worry about that, because if he stays with him, he’ll learn how to do it too one day.

“I don’t think I can do it yet,” Jinyoung says in one breath, but Chansik gives him a real smile, bright and happy and grateful, and Jinyoung laughs weakly, heart leaping with hope. “Maybe someday.”

“That’s good enough already,” Chansik says, and Jinyoung can’t help but notice how wise he sounds when saying all this. 

“You really are angelic.”

The words slip out and Jinyoung flushes the moment he says it, but Chansik beams and Jinyoung’s suddenly really happy he said it.

“Thanks,” Chansik says, offering a shy smile. “So…do you think you’d still do it?”

“Do what?” Jinyoung asks, wondering if he’s asking about forgiving Suji. Chansik looks extremely nervous all of a sudden, running his palms against his knees, unable to meet Jinyoung’s eyes.

“Will you still date me…?” Chansik seems to struggle to finish his sentence. “Even if…you can’t touch me yet?”

Jinyoung actually lets out a laugh at this, relieved and hopeful and disbelieving altogether. “You already know the answer to that, don’t you?” he says, before his smile fades slightly, and he’s the one placing his heart on the line now, however rotten and mutilated it is, waiting for an answer. “Will you still date me even if everyone…everyone hates me?”

Jinyoung watches the light in Chansik’s eyes spark up again, and something starts to warm him from the inside as well.

“Yeah,” Chansik slowly places a nervous hand over Jinyoung’s, his touch light and uncertain, and for the first time in three years Jinyoung thinks there’s a chance someone might actually love him someday. 

“I think I will.”



this-bbro says: are we good yet

mountainduck says: MAINTAIN SILENCE

mountainduck says: this is a sacred moment

archangelic says: hahaha yayy junghwan hyung

mountainduck says: /clears throat/ have we all gathered?

Jinyoung rolls his eyes at Junghwan’s antics, but the gleeful smile on Chansik’s face makes it all worth it, he supposes. He nudges Chansik’s toes with his own foot from across the carpet, and Chansik sticks his tongue out at him.

On Runescape, they’ve gathered in the tiny church at the end of Lumbridge near the castle, and Chansik, or archangelic, is merrily donning a flowing set of blue and white mage robes, given as an anniversary present of sorts, by Jinyoung, who in turn is wearing a customised suit he’d had to code in himself. Several other players who’ve come to the church to renew their prayer points are now standing around, bemused, watching the procession with interest.

the-philophobic-fox says: can we do this please, before the entire runescape community shows up 

From across the room where he sits on the couch, Junghwan scowls at him, before puffing out his chest importantly. He’s really taking this seriously, Jinyoung thinks. He’d gone to the Grand Exchange to purchase a special set of priest robes specially for the occasion. Of course, he’d probably cheated himself the money, but that was besides the point.

mountainduck says: dearly beloved, we are gathered here today for a very special occasion

this-bbro says: are you seriously going to do the whole thing

There’s a muffled thud and yell, and when Jinyoung looks up from his screen Sunwoo’s legs are sticking up from behind the couch while Junghwan huffs in annoyance.

mountainduck says: AS I WAS SAYING

mountainduck says: we are gathered here today for a very special occasion

mountainduck says: we are gathered, friends, to witness the love story of two very, very remarkable people

Some stranger whom Jinyoung has never seen before in his life starts clapping and cheering, and a few other people follow suit. For some reason Jinyoung has butterflies in his stomach, and starts when a private chat box opens up on his screen.

archangelic says: /whispers/ you look nervous 

the-philophobic-fox says: /whispers back/ I am 

Jinyoung looks up and catches Chansik’s eye, and Chansik ducks back down to look at his screen, cheeks colouring.

the-philophobic-fox says: you look nervous too ;)

archangelic says: I’m not >:(

the-philophobic-fox says: surrrreee

Junghwan “psst”s him sharply from across the room, and Jinyoung jumps back into the present, minimising the chat box.

mountainduck says: Do you, the-philophobic-fox, knight of Lumbridge and Varrock, vanquisher of dragons, giant beetles and online jerks, take archangelic to be your lawful Runescape partner? 

Jinyoung raises an eyebrow at Junghwan, who gives him a death glare. He glances at Chansik once before returning to his screen, and Chansik shoots him a blinding smile that almost causes him to fumble on the keyboard.

the-philophobic-fox says: I do

mountainduck says: And do you, archangelic, ice mage of Falador and Draynor, protector of the innocent, baker of meat pies, take the-philophobic-jerk to be your lawful Runescape partner? 

Jinyoung sees Chansik sneak another glance at him from across the room before replying, a smile on his face.

archangelic says: I do.

mountainduck says: May we have the rings please 

There’s a pregnant pause.

mountainduck says: /clears throat/ may we have the rings please

mountainduck says: THE RINGS PLEASE

mountainduck says: OI

Now a few spaces away from Junghwan on the couch, Sunwoo starts.

this-bbro says: …brb hang on 

Junghwan lets out a sound of annoyance as Sunwoo’s character sprints off.

mountainduck says: omg why am I even dating you 

mountainduck says: you’d better go to the lumbridge bank ok if you go all the way to draynor I’ll murder you

Chansik stifles a giggle, and Junghwan seems to relax a little then.

mountainduck says: why can’t you all be like hyungnim and be quiet and obedient

Near the television, Dongwoo somewhat guiltily stows his phone behind his back, where he’d obviously been texting someone (probably Soojung).

slowandsteady says: of course

mountainduck says: 8934383% done with all of you

Sunwoo reappears with the rings in his inventory about a minute later, and Junghwan grudgingly takes them from him, before presenting one to Chansik, then to Jinyoung, through trade.

mountainduck says: I now pronounce you knight and partner

mountainduck says: you may now kiss the mage

Jinyoung blinks when he realises he doesn’t actually know how to kiss Chansik on Runescape, but the substantial crowd that’s gathered is already clapping and cheering, so he opens his expressions list and settles on blowing a kiss to archangelic.

Everyone in the room laughs simultaneously, and Chansik blows a kiss back.

They make way after that for the queue of people waiting to renew their prayer points, and Chansik follows Jinyoung out slightly, surrounded by the rest of their friends, Junghwan now nagging Sunwoo about respect for such occasions, Dongwoo's character static, and sure enough, when Jinyoung looks up, he’s back on his phone, wincing slightly as he types out a response, probably getting a verbal thrashing for not replying like his life depended on it.

The tiny chat box at the corner of his screen blips, and Jinyoung opens it.

archangelic says: so what now? :)

the-philophobic-fox says: I don’t know, what do you want to do? :)

archangelic says: take over the world first, or have dinner with our weird friends?

Jinyoung’s pretty sure he’s wearing the goofiest smile in the world as he types out a response.

the-philophobic-fox says: dinner sounds good, you?

Junghwan squawks as Sunwoo attacks him with tickles across the room, and Jinyoung rolls his eyes as the next reply pops up.

archangelic says: dinner it is then! \o/

Jinyoung picks up the laptop and walks over to sit next to Chansik, who inches over to give him space.

“While our weird friends are carrying out their daily mating ritual,” Jinyoung settles next to Chansik, and Chansik giggles as Junghwan lets out a shrill squeal. “Want to go somewhere? There’s a great dungeon near Varrock with extremely wealthy beetles.”

archangelic says: sure :) just right click and follow, right? ;) 

Jinyoung smiles at the words, moving his mouse across the screen to click his chat box.

the-philophobic-fox says: yep, just right click and follow ;) 



/epilogue thing/


wholetthedogsout says: whaaat

theonelittleduck says: CHANSIK BB

youhadabadday says: welcome to the club -.-

wholetthedogsout says: are we all named after songs

ohhbother says: I need to get paid for this

youhadabadday says: who is that

ohhbother says: winnie the pooh

wholetthedogsout says: omg hyung

whatdoesthefox says: no one has the right to talk to me

youhadabadday says: HAHAahahahaha omg hyung

whatdoesthefox says: speak for yourself chipmunk

theonelittleduck says: alright invertebrates we have a job to do

whatdoesthefox says: who made you leader

theonelittleduck says: I did

whatdoesthefox says: what about the rest of us

theonelittleduck says: you decided not to argue

whatdoesthefox says: WHEN

theonelittleduck says: now

whatdoesthefox says: …

theonelittleduck says: see?

theonelittleduck says: alrighty we have our job advancement deadline in a month, so get cracking friends. We all have three day handicap allowances because channie already completed all the resistance storylines for maple >:(

wholetthedogsout says: haters gon hate~

youhadabadday says: I am not going out in virtual public like this

theonelittleduck says: team bonding activities guys!!! Remember! 

ohhbother says: I foresee myself getting flak in the pvp arenas, and I’m an Evan

whatdoesthefox says: I repeat, you do not have the right to talk to me

ohhbother says: yeah probably haha

wholetthedogsout says: I think it’s pretty ingenious

theonelittleduck says: yayy channie supports me. we should just date each other amirite

whatdoesthefox says: no

youhadabadday says: no

wholetthedogsout says: omg they’re so cute when they’re jealous

theonelittleduck says: ikr

ohhbother says: guys we agreed no lovey-dovey in this chat box

theonelittleduck says: how is that lovey dovey

youhadabadday says: yeah hyung

ohhbother says: just no, ok, we have enough of that in jinyoung’s basement

whatdoesthefox says: wonder whose fault that is

theonelittleduck says: …we weren’t even doing anything wrong that time ok

whatdoesthefox says: you were eating each others’ faces

theonelittleduck says: he was giving me a kiss nothing wrong with that

wholetthedogsout says: hyung your shirt was on the floor

theonelittleduck says: …

youhadabadday says: well it’s not my fault we hadn’t made out in like a week, okay, someone needed to study apparently so I was a little deprived, alright?

ohhbother is offline

wholetthedogsout says: omg hyung

whatdoesthefox says: wow such necessary info sunwoo

youhadabadday says: yeesh, touchy 

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

author's note:

Hey! That was a long fic. Yes.

So um please comment! :DD It would be really nice if you guys did hehe. You also might want to check out the lovely badeul fic errant_evermore wrote for me here (part 1), part 2, and part 3. Also if you haven't seen b1a4's rock version of what's going on for kmf and witnessed the iness that is shin dongwoo, I strongly suggest you do so now (preferably after commenting ahehehehehe). Thanks for all your support through this time! And thanks to the people who subscribed already, like superevolution and yuyalover are people I've seen subscribing to my stories numerous times already omg thank you sweet lovely people you guys are the best \o/  Hope all of you have a great new year! 

Sincerely
WhiteWings19