Sehun P.O.V.

"Luhan, may I ask you something?" i keep my gaze at my feet, and my voice is small.

"Yes." he has that serious tone...i dont like it. I've always preferred his light-hearted voice. 

"Since our fight, have you felt...distant?" 

"Yes." tears fill my eyes. Admitting the void to myself was different than hearing Luhan admit it. 

"How can we fix it?" my voice stammers, and Luhan moves my face to make me look at him. 

"We'll pretend it didn't happen." Luhan smiles at me, but i can tell it's fake. 

"Thanks, hyung." i say, completely avoiding my instincts to finish talking this through. 

"Of couse." 

~

     I'm in my room, alone and on my bed. Everyone is asleep except me. I lie with my face in my pillow, and i only look up every few moments to breathe, which actually takes some motivation to do. Wouldn't it just be easier to stay down and suffocate? i wouldnt feel like this anymore at least. Luhan and i need to talk about this. I'm tired of losing him; i need him. He's my hyung, and i love you. i cant lose him. Ugh! i roll over to my back and exhale loudly. 

"Go to sleep, Sehun!" Suho nags me from the other bed. I know he doesnt mean to sound harsh, but he does. I stand up to walk out the room. "Where are you going?" Suho asks when he hears the door. 

"The balcony." i whisper then walk out. 

     Out on the balcany i breathe in the fresh air. So...like Luhan? i feel my brows furrow when i smell Luhan's cologne. i walk my way to the corner of the balcany where the smell seems to radiate from. 

"Luhan?" my voice breaks, but i'm not sure why. 

"Huh?!" Luhan jumps startled by my voice. "Oh, Sehun-ah. You scared me." i can hear the breathlessness of his voice. 

"Sorry." i look down at my feet, my voice returning to it's shy tone from earlier. 

"Why are you still up?" my hyung rubs his eyes. 

"I couldn't sleep." 

"Because of me?" my gaze shoots up, but it immediately falls again when i realize i made eye contact. 

"Yes." i hear him walk towards me.

"Sehun-ah, look at me." his voice is impatient like he's tired of me not looking him in the eyes like i always used to.

     When i look up at him, tears fill my eyes again, only this time they fall. Luhan wraps me in a protective hug, causing the tears to fall harder. I soak his shirt, but he doesnt seem to care. 

"I"m sorry, Sehun-ah, i dont mean for you to cry." i hear Luhan's voice trembling, and i realize he's crying too. 

"I love you, hyung." 

"I know. i love you, too." i feel him stiffen for a second, and i break free to look at his face.

"What?" i ask when i notice he looks confused. 

"Sehun, i promise that i'll never hurt you again. i swear it." 

"Lu..." 

"No, listen." he holds up his hands for me to stop, but he lowers them to continue speaking. "I wont ever hurt you becasue hurting you means i'm hurting my best friend, and i dont want to risk losing you." he grabs my wrist and places my hand palm down on the center of his chest. i feel his heartbeat, it's fast. "You feel that? When i'm with you is the only time my heart beats like that. Do you know why?" 

"No." i just kinda blurt the word out. 

"Feel your heart." he puts my other hand palm down in the center of my chest. "Your heart is beating fast, too. I think i know why too."

"Why?" okay so i'm blurting all my words now, but i'm having issues speaking. Is he confessing?!

"Sehun, this is it. I'm done trying to tell myself i dont feel the same because, Sehun, I love you. it took us not talking for three ing weeks for me to realize it, but i do. I want to be with you." 

"Luhan, i, uh, i..." i dont know what to say. i've been waiting and waiting for this moment to happen, but now i have no idea what to say. Then i  realize i my hand is still on Luhan's chest, and i suddenly know what to say. "I can still feel the void.