When Kibum was eight, Jonghyun was nine. 

Kibum's fingers were clutched around the shirt of Jinki, who stood next to him. It was his first year and his first day at camp. A camp that would teach him that he was royalty, and worth loving. Kibum was still getting used to this thing adults called love. To him it was just a word thrown around and had no real meaning to him. It was summer, and he had moved in with his first foster family around Christmas, and everything about love and being cared about was so new to him; he didn't know what it really felt like. He was used to his small, dark room and all the things the blackness had brought him. 

But outside in the bright sun next to the buses was loud and new, and it made his tiny body twitch with anxiety. Jinki, his counselor, bent down to him and ruffled his hair. “Welcome to camp, Kibum. We're gonna have lots of fun here,” his voice was kind and his smile was friendly, but Kibum wasn't sure what to do. He still wasn't used to smiling for his foster parents, he didn't even talk for them, let alone a stranger he had just met. 

The noise around him was deafening as the shouts of welcomes reached his ears. It was a little overwhelming, he wasn't used to crowds of people waiting for him, and he turned his face into Jinki's side. Jinki's sturdy hand wrapped gently around Kibum's shoulders and kept him still and strong.

“Mr. Jinki, Mr Jinki!” Kibum heard the familiar shouts of his counselor's name and turned slightly, one eye peeking out to see an energetic brown haired boy running towards them. 

“Hello, Jonghyun. Welcome to another year of camp!” Jonghyun's smile was wide and his laugh was contagious, but Kibum didn't catch on.

“Who's this?” Jonghyun asked with big, chocolate eyes as he looked at Kibum. “This is Kibum. I'm his counselor this year, too.” Jinki said, nudging the child slightly in the direction of Jonghyun.

“Hi Kibum! I'm Jonghyun. See?” he said, lifting up his name tag to show Kibum. Kibum's reaction was to lift his own name tag in the direction of the boy with one hand.

“Kibum doesn't really talk. He talks to us in different ways,” Jinki said to Jonghyun. It wasn't that Kibum didn't know how to use words and speak, but that was what he was most comfortable with. Even as an eight year old, Kibum had the mind and body of a five year old.

Jonghyun smiled again and Kibum caught the glimpse of a chipped tooth. “Don't worry, Kibum! I'll be here to take care of you, okay? Let's go to the cabins,” he said, an outstretched hand waiting for him. Kibum looked up at Jinki, who nodded to him and told him it was okay. With a deep breath, Kibum took a small step and curled his tiny fingers around Jonghyun's. 

--- 

Kibum was used to the dark, but that night as he laid in his bunk, he couldn't help but feel the darkness lay down next to him, and he didn't like it. The rules at camp were simple enough for Kibum to understand, and he knew that he wasn't allowed to sit or lay on the beds of other campers, but Jonghyun was right there and he felt comfortable around the boy. He was there during the day, (along with his counselor) to show him the ropes and let him know that camp really was one of the best times out of the year.

The floor was cold when Kibum stepped out of his bed, his blue blanket dragging behind him. With hesitant eyes, Kibum found the bed of Jonghyun and slipped in beside him. The boy made a grunt, but moved slightly to accommodate Kibum, and their warm fingers twined together as Kibum fell asleep.
– - -

The heat was unbearable as the campers walked to the games. The sweat poured in buckets off of Kibum's small body. He groaned a little, wiping his forehead with his already damp hand. He heard Jonghyun's voice behind him and then suddenly a cool mist on his neck. Confused, the boy turned around to see his counselor with a spray bottle full of cold water, Jonghyun standing next to him.

“Mr. Jinki got a spray bottle so now after we're done with games with Coach Minho, he can cool us off!” Jonghyun said excitedly, his chipped tooth grin written all over his face. Kibum blinked and stared blankly. 

“Kibum, are you okay?” he heard his counselor say as the bottle in his hand lowered. He nodded and then wiped the water over his neck.

“C'mon! We're gonna be late and Coach Minho is gonna start without us!” and his hand grabbed Kibum's again as the two of them dashed off to the soccer field. Jinki laughed at his two boys and raced after them.

- - -

Kibum had never seen fireworks. He had never even heard of them, and when Jonghyun told him that they had a a firework display that night, his face scrunched up in confusion and bewilderment.

“You've never seen them?” Jonghyun asked, tilting his head as they walked to the spot where the fireworks would be shown. Kibum shook his head no and waited for him to explain.

“They're the coolest! They're these big explosions in the sky that light up all different colors. You're gonna love 'em!” he said. 

Kibum would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy them, because he did. As the sky lit up and painted his face shades of purples, blues and greens, he couldn't help but smile and laugh; Jonghyun standing next to him the entire time.

- - -

Kibum had enjoyed his first year at camp. He thought he was starting to get used to the idea of what it felt like to have someone take him under their wing and love him.

He sat at the round table he had eaten his meals at, the last day of camp heavy on his mind. In front of him was a wrapped box. It was the birthday party for all the campers, and around him was cake and ice cream galore, balloons, party favors, and of course, birthday gifts. He knew what to do with the box. He had spent his first Christmas with his foster parents, and had unwrapped his presents there. But something about opening a birthday present on his last day of camp left a sinking feeling in his stomach.

He saw spiked brown hair from the corner of his eye and Jonghyun walked to the edge of the table. “Have you ever had a birthday party, Kibum?” Jonghyun asked.

Kibum looked at the other boy, his eyes looked happy and hopeful, and when Kibum shook his head no, another smile painted his lips.

“Well it's your birthday now! Happy Birthday, Kibum.” he said and Kibum smiled as the two of them tore into the wrapping of his gift.
- - -

When it was time to say goodbye, Kibum felt a sadness start to boil deep within his little heart, and he wasn't quite sure what it meant. It wasn't something he was used to or understood, but he knew it was there, and when he saw Jonghyun board the bus, he knew that next year he needed to find him again. 

When Kibum was nine, Jonghyun was ten.

When Kibum got off the bus he felt a bit more at ease and knew what to expect. He still didn't use words to communicate, but in one year he had grown into a smiling, laughing boy. 

He had someone to look for this time as everyone exited the buses and the shouts of welcomes around him flooded his senses. It didn't bother him this year, and his cat-like eyes scanned the grass for a certain boy.

“Aha! Gotcha!” Kibum heard a familiar voice shout and someone tapped him on the shoulders. He spun around to see Jonghyun, another year older but still as happy and energetic as ever. The chip in his tooth was gone, and his smile was a bright white that had Kibum smiling too. 

“Kibum!” Jonghyun exclaimed and threw his arms around Kibum; the smile on the younger's face breaking through his cheeks.

- - -

“Did ya know Mr. Jinki's wife is a counselor here too, Kibum?” Jonghyun said as the group made their way to the stables.

Jinki nodded. “It's true. Do you remember who it is, Jonghyun?” 

“Of course I do! See her over there,” Jonghyun said, pointing to a woman around Jinki's age in front of them. “That's Miss Luna, Mr. Jinki's wife.” 

Jinki smiled. “You have a good memory.”

Kibum looked at the group of campers in front of them, eying Miss Luna. He looked back at his counselor and thought they made a good match, not that his innocent mind really knew what that meant.

When they reached the stables and Kibum say the horses around, he knew for sure he wasn't going to ride one.
Which he proved when it came to be his turn.

“Are you afraid, Kibum?” Jinki asked, looking down at the boy. He looked up, his eyes scared and nodded.

“Do you wanna try? I'll go with you!” Jonghyun said. “I already went, it's lots of fun.” 

When Kibum looked at Jonghyun and pictured the two riding the horse together, he knew he could ride it then. He nodded again as he looked at the boy in front of him. 

“Let's go!” Jonghyun said and took Kibum's hand as the two went to ride the horse; Jinki standing at their side.

- - -

Kibum really didn't need any type of medication, but he knew Jonghyun needed something. Kibum waited, legs dangling off the picnic table near the rock climb as he waited for Jonghyun to return. It wasn't a long wait and when he came back, he jumped up and watched the trail of kids flock behind him. The smile on his face quickly disappeared, and Jonghyun frowned; not sure why. Kibum's fingers turned white as he gripped at Jonghyun's shoulders, he spun around and Kibum ducked behind him.

It wasn't as if it was a scary sight, really. But to Kibum, it was something he had never seen before - a kid throw up his medicine. He looked like an animal hunched over, spilling the contents. It was strange to him to watch someone do it on purpose, and he felt a wall fall down as he hid behind Jonghyun.

“It's okay, Kibum. It's okay.”

- - -

“It's our birthday again, Kibum! Aren't you happy?” Jonghyun asked as he and his best friend sat in the shade. 

Kibum looked up from his lap and smiled, his face bright and happy.

“Good,” Jonghyun said, messing with the boy's hair. “Now gimme your arm,” he said.

Kibum held his arm out and Jonghyun placed a J shaped silly band on his wrist. Kibum lifted his arm and looked at it, almost falling over as he inspected. Jonghyun laughed at Kibum's attempts before a K shaped silly band was placed on his own wrist.

“Now let's sing the Happy Birthday song!” Jonghyun said, singing extra loud for both him and Kibum.

When Kibum was ten, Jonghyun was eleven.

Kibum couldn't find Jonghyun right away. Not at the drop off, not in the field, not at the dinning hall, and he was starting to get worried. Would he not spend this year with Jonghyun? He was growing year by year, finally filling into his small frame, and he wanted to express himself to Jonghyun. Maybe not with words, but he was positive he could give the other more this year.

When Jinki didn't appear alarmed as they made their way to the cabins, Kibum felt something settle within him. He knew if Jinki was at ease, he could be too.

When they opened the cabin door, the stuffy air hit his face and stung his eyes, but that didn't matter because he saw Jonghyun setting up his bed. This time he was the one to run and wrap himself around the boy.

He heard Jonghyun laugh as they hugged and said, “Hi Kibum! I missed you!”

- - -

“How come you never get in the water?” Jonghyun's voice cut through the heat, but it felt slow and drug out.

Kibum stood in the sand, looking into the lake. He had a red wristband, which allowed him access to the shallow water, but all his years of camp he never stepped in.

He shrugged and shook his head at Jonghyun's question, not sure how to answer. He didn't have a fear of the water, but it was something foreign and he never wanted to test it.

Jonghyun stood in front of Kibum, water dripping from his hair and down his skin.

“Do you wanna swim with me?” 

Kibum's eyes twitched and he turned his head, thinking about it. He didn't want to say no, their years together were dwindling and Kibum knew it.

This time, Kibum picked up Jonghyun's hand into his own and nodded.

Jonghyun's smile was fresh and loving, and he couldn't wait to attack the water with Kibum.

- - -

“Mmm, birthday cake. Do you like chocolate?” Jonghyun asked as he and Kibum sat at their birthday party.

Kibum took a bite of the chocolate cake in response, laughter erupting from his lips. 

“Okay. Remember what we talked about last night in the cabin? On the count of three. One – two – three!” and the cake was flung, the two of them stuffing it in each others faces before bursting into a fit of laughter.

“You're a mess,” Jonghyun said, picking the cake from his face and eating the frosting. But Kibum was too busy laughing until tears slipped from his eyes.

When Kibum was eleven, Jonghyun was twelve.

Jonghyun knew how to read Kibum. It was easy and so natural. He knew what different smiles meant, how his laughter sounded and what it looked like when he cried. He knew what he did with his body when he was sad or frustrated. It might have been hard for other people, but for Jonghyun it was easy. Kibum said it all with his eyes and face, and Jonghyun wouldn't have it any other way.

But this year was different. Jonghyun was twelve and graduating; his last year of camp. He knew Kibum was well aware, because as the week of camp played out, Kibum became more and more distant. But Jonghyun didn't give up, he stuck to Kibum's side like glue and never let him go. He was a part of him, and he wasn't going to let his last year drive them apart.

The cabin was calm on the last morning of camp. Kibum was exceptionally quiet to him, and he was always so loud to Jonghyun. 

“Happy Birthday, Kibum.” Jonghyun said sleepily as the whole cabin woke up and got ready for breakfast. But Kibum only nodded and clutched tightly to his name tag.

When they had celebrated and stood face to face at the buses, Kibum gave in and broke into shaky sobs. His whole body wept with him as the tears rolled down, hot and thick. Jonghyun's eyes were watery, but he knew not to break. 

“Kibum, don't cry okay? You're my best friend, and we'll be together again one day,” he said as Jinki approached them. But Kibum's eyes were overflowing, his vision cloudy and he couldn't even see the boy in front of him. Jonghyun placed his hand on Kibum's head, his face nearing Kibum's. 

“Just remember, you're royalty.” 

When Kibum was twelve, Jonghyun wasn't there.

Kibum's last year of camp was lonely without Jonghyun. He had Jinki and he was grateful, but there was something missing in his already broken heart. 

He finished the week on good terms. He learned how to be a man at the graduation ceremony, and although Jinki was disappointed he never got to hear Kibum speak, he was still happy to counsel him his five years of camp. 


In four out of five of Kibum's memory books, pictures of himself and Jonghyun covered the pages. Jonghyun teaching him to ride a horse, to swim in the lake, how to fish, how to be a normal kid and know what it felt like to be loved.

He learned it all from the camp and Jonghyun, and as he looked at his memory books, the pictures with Jonghyun shined the brightest in his memories, and each time he saw the smile on their faces, his small, but growing heart, pieced together bit by bit.

When Kibum was sixteen, Jonghyun was seventeen. 

Kibum stretched wide as he stepped off the bus. He was sixteen and ready to volunteer, to help the kids who were just like him at one point in his life. 

The memories were still crisp in his mind, and he could smell the familiarity of the camp in his nostrils. The heatand the crunch of the grass beneath him felt like home. 

The welcome wagon and the surprised look on the faces of the new campers brought him back to his first year. When he was eight and scared, attached to the side of his counselor.

There was something that was missing and he was looking for it.

When he saw the brown hair and the eyes, he knew he had found what he was looking for.

“Kibum!” the voice sounded almost overused, like he had been calling for him for hours.

“Kibum,” he said again, voice breathless as he approached, arms wrapping around his neck as their foreheads were pressed together.

Kibum smiled and placed his hands on Jonghyun's shoulders, speaking to him for the first time, “Jonghyun.”