Winter Missed Call.

 

Camera flashes were like stars shining in the night sky. Posters and signboards were like notes pinned in a black wall. Cheers were echoing in the whole auditorium, girls shrieking and screaming. They were chanting the band’s name. They knew their hard work paid off, he knew it was worth it.

 

“Thank you for having us here today!” he said as he waved his arms. His hair, so messy after their performance, yet he looks so stunning. Sweat started running down his face.

 

Chan Yeol. That’s his name. Abaout 6 feet tall and a body that’s just proportion to his height. His eyes were expressionless and lazy. His forehead, full and y. His lips, pink and firm. His teeth, perfectly aligned and shaped. His ears were kinda big, but still look so good at him.

But the most beautiful asset that he possesses, is his voice. Deep like the sea, clear like the crystal, and very seductive. You’re gonna have those LSS-thingy when he starts singing.

 

“EXO! SARANGHAEYO!” everybody squealed. The band flashed their mesmerizing smile and turned their backs and headed to the backstage.

 

At the backstage, they can still hear cheers and their names being chanted, the ‘oppas’ ans ‘saranghaes.’ They congratulated each one of them for doing a great job in the show. Kai seated on a red couch beside Chan Yeol, and tapped his shoulders.

 

“Hey. You did a good job, Hyung.” Kai is a childhood friend of Yeol. They both trained at SM ent and got into the same group. Chan Yeol, whose mind is not set onto reality, stared at Kai and just grinned. He stood up and went outside, putting on his earing and getting a stick of cigarette from his pocket.

 

On stage and on cam, he’s this happy virus who’s bringing happiness to each and every one. But off cam, he’s this bad boy who smokes, ignores and cold hearted. Sometimes rude and boastful.

 

“Stop it, Yeol.” Baek Hyun broke in his solitary moment. Baek Hyun, who’s his roommate, is very concerned to Chan Yeol. He’s like his brother.

 

Yeol faced him and blew a grayish violet smoke in Baek’s face. He ignored him, and took a few steps away. Baek was full of him. He’s tired of preaching and telling him not to smoke, or ignore somebody. Tired of telling him that it’s 2 years over.

 

But for Yeol, it’s not.

 

“Come on! You’re not like this! Off cam and on cam, you’re the happy virus! You’re the leader of the derp squad! You don’t smoke! You don’t have piercings, and you don’t ignore us!” Baek’s words made Yeol turned. His eyes, expressionless and cold. He first blew the cigarette before throwing it away. Putting his hands inside his pockets, he approached Baek Hyun and uttered some words.

 

“Do you know what it’s like being left out? Waiting for somebody for almost 2 years, but then again, you’re waiting for nothing? Expecting she’ll come back for you! Expecting that she’ll be off for just 1 week! But you know what hurts the most?” Baek looked away.

“That those were just expectations.” Baek Hyun took a step back and lowered his head. He knew in himself that he shouldn’t have asked such question. He knew that he should’ve just let Yeol have his space.

 

“I’m sorry.” Baek muttered. Chan Yeol just walked ayaw and left him in the cold wind of December. Memories start flashing back in Yeol’s head. His anger, his emotions started running again. The reason why he’s famous. The reason why he’s singing. All playing in his head. The day she left, still fresh, like it happened yesterday.

 

He can still remember his face. Her medium in length hair, her chubby cheeks, her tanned complexion, her eyes. Her laugh and her not so girly voice. All of this, still playing and flashing in his head. Haunting him every night and in his dream. He longs for her. Almost 2 years of waiting and hoping that she’ll comeback for him.

 

“It’ll be just 1 week.” A sentenced that Yeol suddenly recalled. He can still remember her face back then. Her weak smile that she gave Yeol after that sentence. A hug followed after that.

 

“Promise you’ll comeback.” He tightened his hug and her hair.

 

“Yeah. I promise. Don’t my hair.” Yeol chuckled and kissed her forehead before she enter her car. The car started moving away, leaving Chan Yeol. He ran and kept on shouting: ‘COMEBACK, HUH?! TAKE CARE! I LOVE YOU!’ He felt tired of running and shouting. He seated in the middle of the road, catching his breath, and found himself sobbing.

 

His reminiscing was interrupted when he bumped onto Kai, who was just looking for him.

 

“Hyung! Are you alright?” Kai shook slightly Yeol’s shoulder. He just stared at Kai and forced himself to answer his saeng’s question.

 

“Yeah. I just need to go to the bathroom.” He lowered his head and headed to the bathroom.

 

She clipped onto her ear her hair that was bothering her while reading the book Paper cuts. She felt the cold wind of December that kissed her cheeks and made her close her eyes.

 

December 10. Just a few hours, she’ll be turning 16. Everybody was asking what does she want for her birthday, but there’s just one thing she wants.

 

She wants him.

 

“Jae Nin! EXO will have a concert here! Tomorrow!” her friend Jo Mein bolted inside her room and sat beside her. Jae Nin. That’s her Korean name. Her real name is Janine. They migrated to Korea, because of her father’s work and moved to London for her treatment. She’s suffering from stage 2 brain cancer, and there’s no available hospital in Seoul that can perform the treatment.

 

“London?! For how long?!” she asked her mother with a tear coming out from her eye. It was dinner time when she asked that question. She stood up from her seat and looked at her mother, who was also confused.

 

“Until the treatment is done.”

 

“I’m asking for how long!”

 

“I don’t know!” her mother stood up and Jae Nin broke into tears. Slowly, she felt an unbearable pain in her head. She felt her head is breaking in half.

 

“AAAAHH!!” her scream made her mother going nuts. She immediately called her spouse and brought Jae Nin to the hospital.

 

Everything was white and quiet; Jae Nin thought she was in heaven. She heard sobs and whispers. Her sleepy eyes slowly opened. At first, her vision was blurry, but afterwards, she can see things clearly. She saw her mother beside her and her father at the side of the door with her doctor, talking.

 

“I think I should go know. Just tell me if there are any problems, ‘kay?”her doctor told Jae Nin’s mom, as he put his hands in his pocket and leave the room. A disturbing silence followed. No one talked. But Jae Nin wanted to know what happened.

 

“You collapsed after our little quarrel. The doctor said that your condition is getting worse.” Jae Nin’s mother broke. Her voiced cracked and tears were falling like raindrops.

 

“If you’re not subjected to treatment, your case can get worse.” Her dad continued with his eyes red. You can tell that he cried when he heard such news from Jae Nin’s doctor.

 

Jae Nin was shocked. She didn’t know that things will get worse. She thought that vitamins and medicines were enough. But she was wrong. A small tear from her left eye started falling. The next thing she knew, she was crying.

 

“How am I going to tell this to him?” she looked at her mom, confused. She remembered Chan Yeol, her boyfriend. He doesn’t know about her condition. She always tell him that it’s just a simple headache and no other than that. Leaving for London also means leaving him alone. Thinking about him, without her side, makes her heart tear into pieces. She felt like shot, worn down, dead. Her eyes won’t stop crying and her head aches, so does her weak heart.

 

“Just tell him the truth. I’m sorry, dear.” Her mother held her hand and kissed it. She knew how much Yeol loves her daughter, so as her daughter loves Yeol. They’re inseparable. Sugar and spice. Match made in heaven. She felt her daughter’s pain. She felt the greif of being separated to t person you love. But she can’t do anything about it.

 

Jae Nin won’t stop crying. Her head aching, because of so much emotional pain. Her mother hugged and tapped her back. She, too, was crying.

 

“Ssh. If you really love him, you know what’s best for him.” She hugged back and a long night followed.

 

It took 3 days for Jae Nin to have the courage to tell Yeol about the London stuff, because her flight was early. 3 days of crying and suffering from pain. 3 days of thinking what good reason can she tell him why she’s leaving. 3 days thinking what would happen to their relationship. To him. To her.

 

“It’ll be just one week.” Liar. She thought to herself. 1 week is just her adjustment period. She wanted to cry. She wanted to tell him that she’s suffering from brain cancer. But there’s this one thing that holds her back. She thought that, if she told Yeol these things, he might leave her. He might look at her with disgust. She thinks that Yeol doesn’t want a dying girlfriend. Her thoughts in her head convinced here not to tell Yeol her condition .It’s better this way. She thought.

 

“Promise you’ll comeback.” She can’t. She can’t even say that she’ll be staying on earth for 5 more years. Yeol hugged her. She felt his body as it touches with hers. She felt the love, the sadness and the pain of her leaving. She can’t hold back her tears so she escaped from his hug. It was to much for her to take.

 

“Yeah. I promise. Don’t my hair.” She really hates it. her hair makes her irritated. She thinks that she’s a dog. But deep inside, she knew that she’ll miss that. Even if it makes her frown. Chan Yeol kissed her forehead. His warm lips touched her bare forehead. She wanted to burst into tears, but she can’t. Not now. Not In front of him. But she’s not good at that. A small tear escaped. She knew that Yeol will immediately notice it, so she hurriedly went inside the car. She cried and cried. Her head aches like hammers hitting it. She reaches her heart. It’s aching. She can hear Yeol’s voice. She wanted to stop the car and go to him. Hug him. Tell him that she’s not alright. But that will only make things harder.

 

2 years have passed. Nights grew longer. Her condition worsen. It was found out that her cancer had spread before she was subjected to treatment. Like leave in fall, her hope of seeing Chan Yeol slowly fades. Her thoughts of Chan Yeol finding another girl, grew longer. Especially now, that he’s famous.

 

Yeol got up from his bed. His hair, messy, his drool beside his mouth. He wiped it off and put on his slippers. He went downstairs and the aroma of coffee and frying hotdogs and eggs made his soul alive.

 

“Good morning.” Kyungsoo greeted him. He greeted back and sat at the dining table. Kyungsoo put Yeol’s coffee beside him and sat in front of him.

 

“We’re going to London later, have you heard about it?”

 

“Yeah.” Yeol said as he took a sip of his black coffee.

 

“So, are you planning to meet her up? I mean, it’s her birthday today.”

 

“She didn’t even bother planning to meet me since she left.”

 

“Come on Yeol. It’s 2 years over, why can’t---“

 

“Stop!” he slammed his mug on the table, making the coffee spill. He sighed before speaking.

 

“I’ll just take a shower and arrange my things.” He left Kyungsoo in the kitchen and head to the garden. He took a stick of cigarette and lit it up. He doesn’t know why, but he felt like crying. He rested his head on his knees. His eyes watery. The pain of being alone for 2 years, all in his chest. He look up above to prevent his tears from falling.

 

“Hey. It’s been 1 week now. Why aren’t you coming home?” he said as he watches the smoke coming from his mouth because of the cold. It’s winter in Seoul and probably in London. 1 week had passed and Jae Nin isn’t home yet. Yeol started to worry about her, so he called her right away.

 

“Uhm. My flight is rescheduled next Thursday, so I…I’m not coming home yet.” Her voice shakey and he can hear her small sobs.

 

“Are you crying?”

 

“Ani. It’s just a cold.”

 

“Oh. I see. Well, you better take good care of yourself. Come home this Christmas, kay? I miss you so much, Nin.”

 

“Sure. I miss you too. So much.”

 

He got up and took his shower. His head, full of thoughts. He wants to forget her, but he can’t. When he finished taking a shower, he saw his phone on his bed. He checked it and saw a text message from an unknown number.

 

‘Hey, Yeol. Uhm. It’s Jae Nin. I hope you didn’t change your number. Uhm, I heard that you were coming here in London. So, can you meet me up at _____________? 7:30 pm? I’ll be there, promise. I miss you.’

 

He wanted to throw his phone. He doesn’t know how to react to that message. He wants to punch someone right now! He wanted to believe that it’s her, but there’s something that holds him back. He sat on his bed and rested his head on his knees. Is this really her? Or just some that wants to someone? He thought. He stared at his phone, one more time.

 

“Hyung! Are your things already packed up?” Kai broke inside Yeol’s room, which made Yeol a little startled.

 

“Uh, yeah. Can you put it inside the van already?”

 

“Sure.” Kai picked up Yeol’s bag and went outside. He’s very worried about his Hyung’s condition. He knows about Jae Nin, and what had happened. He knows the reason why he’s a member of EXO.

 

“Jong In.” Baek Hyun called. He pulled off his earplugs and put his phone inside his pocket.

 

“Hyung.”

 

“How’s Yeol?”

 

“He’s okay. I guess?”

 

“It’s her birthday, right?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“C’mon. The manager’s waiting for us.” They both headed to their van. Baek Hyun reserved a seat for Chan Yeol. When he arrived, the driver started the engine and drove off to the airport. Everybody was excited to go to London, except him. If only he could change their concert’s destination, he would really do that. If only he couldn’t attend that concert. But there’s something that drags him to London. Maybe it’s the excitement of him seeing Jae Nin after 2 long years. Maybe it’s Jae Nin.

 

NO. He thought. He will not meet her. After not coming back for 2 years, she’ll just pop out saying she misses him and wanted to see him? Pathetic. He’s confused. His thought, all mixed up. The lyrics were rearranging in his head. He closed his eyes, hoping that all of this is just a bad dream.

 

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAE NIN!” her family surprised her. She saw a small fruitcake, a bowl of pasta and a tray of lasagna on the table. She said thanks and gave them a weak smile. 16 years of existing in this world. 2 years of suffering and longing for Yeol. As she blew her pink candle, she wished that Yeol got her message and would go to the place she’s talking about.

 

Her friend Jo Mein entered their house. She hanged her coat and went inside the kitchen.

 

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” she greeted Jae Nin. She gave her present and sat on a chair. Jae Nin’s mom passed her a slice of cake a small bowl of pasta.

 

“So, I heard that you and Jo Mein will go to __________.” Her father said as he took a spoonful of lasagna. Jae Nin said yes and lowered her head. She’s really excited but her heart is slowly tearing apart. Will she have the guts to say everything? Or everything will end up horribly? Her head aches a little. Too much thinking.

 

As soon as she finished eating, she went to her room and took a shower. She wore a white lace dress, because Yeol likes white. Jo Mein braided her wavy hair.

 

“You look pretty.” She said as she gave her smile.

 

“Thanks.”

 

“You sure about this?” Jae Nin nodded. They both hoped that Yeol got her text. Jo  Mein looked at her friend, worried. What if Yeol didn’t show up? She thought. But as her friend, all she could do is support her.

 

They both stepped outside Jae Nin’s house. The white color of snow, covering the path they’re taking. Jae Nin’s dress matches the color of the season, winter. Each step she takes, her heart beat speeds up. After 2 long years, she’ll finally meet him. A little smile formed in her round face.

 

“You know, he probably changed his number. Let’s go back.” Jo Mein told her. But she just smiled and held her hand.

 

“I know you’re worried. But don’t be. I’ll be okay.”

 

“You sure?”

 

“Ne.”

 

“Take care, okay?”

 

“Arrasseo.” Jae Nin took the bus. She watched as she left her friend. Her head aches a little. Will he really be there? I’m sure he’ll be there. It’s my birthday today, so I guess he still remembers it. She thought. She watched the passengers of the bus. They all look tired and sleepy. She rested her head and closed her eyes and dreamt of a wintery wish.

 

Another performance of EXO was astonishing. Leaving many fan girls breathless. They went to the back stage, sat and chugged in a bottle of cold water. After a breath taking performance, they are all exhausted and long for rest.

 

Chan Yeol, who’s staring at his phone, was interrupted by Kai.

 

“Hyung, gwaenchana?” he immediately put his phone inside his pocket.

 

“Ne.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Ne.” Kai tapped his shoulders and uttered some few words.

 

“If I were you, I’d meet her up.” And with that, Kai left Chan Yeol, dumb founded. Shocked. Speechless. How the hell does he know that?! He thought. And then, he suddenly remembered that he left his phone with Kai a while ago before the concert.

 

He looked at his watch. 9:30 pm. Jae Nin said that they would meet up at 7:30.

 

Is she still there? It’s been 2 hours. Maybe she got tired of waiting and left. He thought.

 

“Tss.” He cussed.

 

“Chan Yeol! Let’s go!” the manager said. Everybody went inside their vans. Yeol kept thinking of Jae Nin. What if, she really was waiting for Yeol? They went pass their meeting place. Yeol can’t help but stick his face outside the window and searched for Jae Nin.

 

“Yeol, keep outside the window.” Their leader, Suho, said. Chan Yeol moved away from the window. His thoughts. All mixed up. Will he still go there? Or just let Jae Nin froze to death?

 

Jae Nin’s been waiting for yeol for almost 2 hours. The temperature gets colder. Her loneliness adds to the coldness she’s feeling. He’ll be here. I know he didn’t forget about me. She thought. Tears were started running down her tired eyes.  Just a few more minutes. I’ll wait.

 

Just then, she saw a tall guy wearing a black coat and a furry hat. She stood up at once and smiled. Her heart, beating so fast. She’d never felt so breathless before. She knew that stand, that furry hat they bought, and that eyes. She hurriedly wiped off her tears and said:

 

“Chan Yeol.” Her voice cracked a little. Her breath, so cold. Chan Yeol didn’t respond. He looked at her blankly. No expression. Cold.

 

“You got my message. I ‘m so happy to----“

 

“No. I was just passing here because I need to by something over there.” He points out to a souvenir store and started walking away.

 

“Chan Yeol!” he stopped.

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t come back! I’m sorry I ignored your calls and changed my number! I’m sorry I lied about the flight! I’m sorry I didn’t spend Christmas with you! I’m sorry, Yeol!” she gave him a back hug. Her arms wrapped so tight because she missed him so much. She’s crying. She can’t control her feelings anymore. She wants to say everything. But she still holds the thought of him leaving her.

 

Chan Yeol escaped from her hug and faced her.

 

“Sorry?! Is it all what you’re going to say?! After leaving me for 2 ing years, you’re just going to say sorry?! Do you even know, how hard it, being alone?!”

 

Her head aches. Her tears were countless.

 

“Ever wonder why I’m famous right now? It’s because of you!” he pointed at her like a useless creature. “Because, I wanted you to know, that I still exist! That there’s this Chan Yeol waiting for you! But did you ever notice that?!”

 

“I’m so sorry.” She took a step near him, but he stepped away.

 

“What are you?! A sorry machine?! You’re very irritating. Don’t talk to me again. My fans will kill me if they find out about you, and my popularity might go down.” He turned his back and started walking away.

 

He can still hear her calling his name. The snow fell harder. The temperature got even colder. Jae Nin was still crying. Her head aches a lot. She runs her finger through her head. Her knees, down to the ground.

 

“Aaah…” her little scream of pain, her head was like breaking into ruins. Thinking about Chan Yeol makes it more unbearable. The fact that he came late, he didn’t notice she was wearing his favorite color, and he didn’t even remember that it’s her birthday today. All of these make Jae Nin tear to pieces.

 

“Aaah…” no one can hear her little scream. Not even Yeol. Her vision began to blur. Her eyes start closing. Until she saw darkness.

 

He woke up. His eyes were red and bloated. His head aches because of too much alcohol he had last night. 7:30 am. Their flight is 11:30 am. He went to the bathroom and did his morning routine. As the water ran down from his tired body, he starts analyzing things. What had happened last night.

 

“Chan Yeol.” A voice rings in his head. Yes. He really did meet  Jae Nin after 2 years. He thought it was a dream.

After he finished doing his routine, he arranged his things and left his room.

 

“How are you, Yeol?” Baek Hyun asked as he tapped Yeol’s shoulders.

 

“Fine.”

 

“Oh. Let’s go to the lobby. Everybody’s waiting there.” Chan Yeol nodded and they entered the elevator. He can still remember Jae Nin’s face. She looks weak. Like she’s been sick. Her lips, pale. Her eyes, so tired and lazy.  He thought.

 

“Did you meet her last night?” Baek Hyun broke the disturbing silence growing between them. It took a few minutes before Chan Yeol could answer.

 

“Yes.” Then the elevator opened its door. They both walked outside and Baek started asking some more questions.

 

“How is she?”

 

“Fine. I guess.”

 

Baek Hyun knows Chan Yeol very well. He can tell whether he’s lying or not. He observed Chan Yeol once more. He can tell that he still loves Jae Nin, but he’s confused.

 

“Yeol, don’t confuse yourself. I know you still love her. Maybe she had some reason why she never came back. I’ll just go buy some drinks, ‘kay?” Baek left Chan Yeol. He’s confused. It’s true that he really does love her even after 2 years. He misses her. But he can’t think of any other reason why she never came back. He brushed his hair and sighed.

 

Jae Nin was rushed to the hospital after that incident. It’s a good thing that there’s someone who saw her lying on the ground and helped her. Jo Mein hurriedly went to the hospital upon receiving a call from the hospital.

 

“Don’t think too much. It’s not good, ‘kay?” Jae Nin’s doctor told her. She wrote some prescriptions and left the room.

 

“What happened?” Jo Mein asked.

 

“Can I tell it tomorrow?”

 

“Okay.”

 

After a few days, Jae Nin was released in the hospital. She can still remember Yeol’s face. He changed. A lot. He’s cold. He’s arrogant. He’s probably back in Korea right now. She thought. She looked at her plate. Salad. Since she was diagnosed with brain cancer, she was always served with veggies. She stirred her salad over and over.

 

“I want to go back to Korea.” She said to her parents. Both were shocked to what she uttered.

 

“Why? You can’t!” her father protested. She looked at her father with sad and tired looking eyes.

 

“If I’m gonna die tomorrow, can’t you grant my wish today?” her father looked at his wife. Both confused. But their daughter has a point. The dinner ended with an approval from her parents.

 

Jo Mein gets to tag along with Jae Nin. They left London and went to Korea.

 

“Why are you doing this?” Jo Mein asked while unpacking her things.

 

“What’s ‘this’?” she replied while arranging their bed. White pillow for her and black for Jo Mein.

 

“This! Going back here in Korea! Attending their concerts and stuffs! This is nuts!”

 

“For him.” She looked at Jo Mein and gave her a weak smile. She really is determine to bring back their relationship.

 

“But he said that you should stay away from him! You’re hurting yourself!”

 

“Isn’t it more painful if I really did keep away from him?” Jo Mein was speechless. For Jae Nin’s part, it really is more painful. He’s her happiness. Her strength. Her light. Her sadness. Her weakness. Her darkness. Jo Mein felt pity to Jae Nin. She’s too young and too good to experience such. She looks at her friend. She’s so fragile. She just sighed and agreed with her friend.

 

“EXO will have a concert tomorrow. Let’s go.”

 

“Sure!” Jae Nin’s eyes sparkled. She really hopes that she’ll meet Yeol once more and will talk to her. She wishes that, this time Yeol will hear her side.

 

“Are you alright?” Jo Mein asked Jae Nin. They’ve been standing on the concert ground for almost an hour because they’re waiting for the show to start. There are a gazillion of fan girls that are inside the auditorium. Everyone felt pushed, stepped and pulled. They felt their stomachs craving for something to eat. But they’ll endure it just to see their idols. Jae Nin will endure her pain just to see Yeol.

 

“Yeah. I’m fine.” She said, catching her breath. It’s hard to breathe if there are lots of people surrounding you. But it’s alright. It’s for Chan Yeol. She thought.

 

The show had started. The stage lit up. There stand 12 majestic boys. Everybody screamed. Their glow sticks raised and waved. Girls start chanting their favorite member’s name. They held and rose big posters and signboards. All were happy and lively. Including her. She kept on chanting Chan Yeol’s name. She kept on saying:

 

“CHAN YEOL! I’M RIGHT HERE!” a fan heard her and said:

 

“TSS! KEEP ON DREAMING, GIRL! AS IF HE’LL NOTICE YOU IN FRONT OF THIS LARGE CROWD!”

 

She’s right. Yeol won’t notice me. Jae Nin said to herself. Her head aches. Hammers were hitting it again. She felt like someone’s shooting her head over and over again. She reached the ground. She was being stepped and pushed.

 

“AAAH! JO MEIN!” she cried. But it seems that Jo Mein had been separated from her and cannot hear her scream because of these girls!

 

“Someone. Save me. Please.”

 

She woke up. The room. It’s different. Very different. She’s not a the hospital. She’s not at their apartment. She’s at somebody else’s room. The room was painted white and the furniture’s were in the touch of black. A modern style room. It looked like a men’s room. The door opened. She saw Chan Yeol.

 

“What are you doing here?!” he asked.

 

“Chan Yeol.”

 

“I said, what are you doing here?! Get out!” he shouted. She felt like she’s being killed over and over again. Yeol’s sharp words hit her. She can’t count anymore the tears she’d shed. Kai entered the room immediately when he heard Chan Yeol shout. He carried Jae Nin and brought her to his room.

 

“Jongin oppa.” She said as she wiped her tears and trying to fix herself.

 

“How are you?”

 

“Fine. I’m okay.” Kai chuckled. He leaned his back on the chair, like a boss.

 

“You two are very much alike. You can’t tell a lie that well.”

 

Jae Nin stared at him. Tears were gathering at the end of her eye. And as soon as she closed it, tears were falling down.  Her sobs were louder. Kai immediately hugged her and her back.

 

“He shouted at me like I’m nothing! Like I’m some disgusting creature! Did he really forget about me? Every day of my life, all did I do was think of him!” she cried more and hugged Kai tighter.

 

“Ssh.. it’s okay. Stop crying now.”

 

After a few moments, Jae Nin escaped Kai’s hug. Her eyes were red and tired. She looks wasted.

 

“Can you tell me what had happened, 2 years ago?” Kai asked. Jae Nin took a deep breath and faced him.

 

“Back here in Korea, I was experiencing major headaches. Then, it was found out that I have brain cancer, stage 2…” she paused and started crying again. “They said that my treatment should be done in London. At first, I rebelled against that. But in the end, I lost. I don’t know how the hell will I tell Chan Yeol about that! So I made up lies and excuses. I’ve hurt him. So much.”

“Worst part is, my cancer spread before I was subjected to treatment. That explains why…why it took almost 2 years, because it had no effect on me.” Kai felt pity on her. She’s been suffering so hard. He can’t say anything that’ll comfort her. He just hugged her and let her sleep on his shoulders.

 

Jae Nin’s condition is worse than ever. She’s getting thinner, and weaker. She was rushed to the hospital again, because she can’t take the pain anymore. Jo Mein’s eyes were tired. She lacked sleep. She’s too busy looking out for Jae Nin.

 

“Can you get my Hello Kitty blanket?” she asked Jo Mein with her groggy voice. Jo Mein smiled and got up.

 

“Sure. Is there anything else you need?”

 

“None. Thank you.”

 

Jo Mein went outside the room and headed to their apartment. She immediately searched for Jae Nin’s blanket and shut the door. There’s no one else looking after Jae Nin, so she’s really quick. She crossed the pedestrian lane without noticing that the traffic light is green.

 

A white van almost hit her. She fell down shocked. A small guy came out from the van and approached Jo Mein.

 

“Didn’t you see the traffic light?!”

 

“I’m sorry!” she said and bowed several times. A tall guy came out of the van and asked what’s going on. He stared at Jo Mein. He analyzed her face. It’s like he’d seen Jo Mein somewhere. But just can’t point out when and where.

 

“Hey! You’re Jae Nin’s friend, right?” he asked.

 

“And you’re Yeol’s friend!”

 

“It’s Jong In.”

 

“Oh. I’m Jo Mein.” They’re all shocked when all of the sudden the vehicles started honking their horns. They immediately went inside the van.

 

“Where are you going?” Kai asked.

 

Jo Mein was about to answer Kai’s question, when her phone rang.

 

“Yes, hello?...what?!...okay! okay! I’m on my way!”

 

“What is it?!” Kai asked. Jo Mein was going insane. Jae Nin’s doctor called her and told her that Jae Nin was badly hurt by her condition.

 

“I need to go to the hospital! Fast!”

 

“Why?!”

 

“Jae Nin! She’s uh-uh… She’s in pain! She needs me! I need to go!” she can’t control herself. Her body is shaking. She tightened her grip on Jae Nin’s blanket. Kai was startled about what Jo Mein said. He immediately instructed his driver to go to the hospital. Confused and felt pity to Jo Mein, the driver put action to in.

 

Kai went outside Jae Nin’s room. He reached his phone inside his pocket, and saw 11 missed calls from each of s! He cussed. He didn’t attend their practice, and now, their manager’s going to kill him!

 

His phone rang. It’s Chan Yeol.

 

“Hyung.” He calmly said.

 

“Where the are you?! We’ve been trying to call you for several times! Do you know how hard it is to practice, with one missing member from the dancing line?! And more importantly, you’re the dancing machine and you missed practice!” Chan Yeol’s voice, full of anger and was so loud. Kai couldn’t help it, but to talk back to his hyung.

 

“Where am I?! Well, I’m in this ing hospital, looking out for your girlfriend! Or should I say, EX-girlfriend?!”

 

“Wait! What?! W-why?!” his voice lowered a little, a bit shaky and shocked.

 

“I thought you don’t care about her?! Why bother asking?!”  Kai lost his temper. He ended the call. Yeol still loves Jae Nin, but he’s pretending that he’s not. It irritates Kai. Jo Mein came out from Jae Nin’s room.

 

“Hey. I need to go now. Just text me if things are going well or not, ‘kay?” Kai told her.

 

“Yeah. Sure.” She sniffed and didn’t look at Kai. But he tapped her shoulders and gave her a breath taking smile.

 

“Don’t worry. Everything’s gonna be alright.”

“I sure hope so.” Jo Mein hold back her tears, and gave a big sigh.

 

And with that, Kai left.

 

11:30 pm. Jae Nin’s still not waking up. Jo Mein went outside her room to get a cup of coffee. She needs to stay awake.

 

When she got herself a cup of coffee, she sat at a small bench outside Jae Nin’s room. The sweet aroma of coffee makes her alive. The blending of coffee, creamer and sugar creates a sensational smell. She took a sip of it. She felt relieved and awake. While drinking her coffee, a tall guy stopped in front of Jae Nin’s door. He turned to Jo Mein and they’re both shocked to see each other.

 

“Chan Yeol?!”

 

“Jo Mein?!”

 

Chan Yeol sat beside her. They were both quiet and no one dared to talk. Jo Mein was a little pissed with Yeol. After what had happened with Jae Nin, he had the guts to show his face in front of her?!

 

“Uh.. how’s she?” Yeol asked coolly.

 

“Wow. So now you care?! What happened?! God talked to you?!”

 

He sighed.

 

“Can you please tell me? Please tell me everything?” Jo Mein hesitated. This guy, who’s currently the reason why her friend is in pain, suddenly care. But she can see the sincerity in Chan Yeol’s eyes. Once more, she took a sip of her coffee, and sighed.

 

She heard small sobs and she can feel that someone’s holding her hand. She’s familiar with it. The touch and the feeling. Slowly, she opened her eyes and looked beside her.

 

It’s him. Chan Yeol. Hi eyes were red. He cried. She thought.

 

“Chan Yeol?”

 

“I know what happened. I know everything.” His deep voice got deeper because of tiredness.

 

2:30 am. Yeol’s been waiting for almost an hour for Jae Nin to wake up. He’s been crying for almost an hour. Jo Mein told him everything. He felt guilty. He thought of killing himself. He punched the wall several times.

 

Jae Nin looked up above. But she can’t help it but cry.

 

“I’m sorry I pushed you away. I’m sorry if I ignored you. I’m sorry if I pretended that I don’t love you anymore. I’m sorry Nin.” Yeol cried and kissed her hand. Both are shedding tears. Tears of happiness, forgiveness and sorrow. Chan Yeol wiped Jae Nin’s tears. He cupped her face and kissed her forehead.

 

“I missed you.” Yeol said. He chuckled a little and bit his lower lip. Jae Nin laughed and pulled his ears.

 

“I missed you too. So much.”

It’s been weeks since Jae Nin was hospitalized. Chan Yeol would often visit her practice. He always brings fruits and goodies. Sometimes, Yeol would sleep in her room or would stay up all night just to look after her.

 

“Get well soon, ‘kay?” he kissed her forehead, causing her to wake from her slumber.

 

“Yeol, you’re not sleeping yet?”

 

“Ani. I just want to make sure that you’re alright until you wake up in the morning.”

 

“I’m okay. Don’t worry. Go to sleep now.”

 

Chan Yeol smiled. He pretended to sleep so that Jae Nin could go back to her slumber again.

 

Jae Nin screamed because of pain. Yeol, who just arrived from his practice, rushed to Jae Nin’s doctor.

 

“AAAH!!”

 

“Jae Nin! I’m here! Don’t worry! I won’t leave you!” he held her hand. Jae Nin’s crying and Yeol, feeling guilty to himself because he can’t do anything. She tightened her grip with Yeol’s hand.

 

The doctor injected some pain killers and left. There’s no cure to her sickness. It already spread. Pain Killers won’t last, and soon it will have no effect. That’s what Yeol bother’s the most. He’s afraid that she’s gonna leave him again. And what hurts the most, when she leaves, she may never come back. Ever.

 

He looked at Jae Nin. Is he ready? No. There’s so much he wanted to do with her. So many things to discover with her. But it seems that fate’s been cruel to them.

 

“Chan Yeol.” Her weak voice, slowly getting weaker.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“You’re a singer now, right? Can you sing for me?”

 

“I’m a rapper.” She chuckled. It tears Chan Yeol apart. He has this feeling it’s the last chuckle that he’ll ever hear from her.

 

“Okay.”

 

A moment of silence began.

 

“~So baby don’t go..” he started singing. He’s deep voice is very dreamy. Jae Nin was surprised because she thought  he wouldn’t sing.

“~Take me anywhere and we’ll walk together, forever, oh.” He reached her hand kissed it. Jae nin’s tears started falling. So as Yeol’s.

“~It’s as if I’m dreaming, don’t fly away my beautiful butterfly.” His voice cracked a little. Sobs were heard. He lowered his head. His heart, it hurts so much. He can’t control his tears. They’re falling like heavy rain.

 

“Please don’t go.” He said.

 

“I won’t. I promise.” She said. Cahn Yeol rubbed his thumbs through her face to wipe her tears. They’re both breaking in half. No one can do anything to ease one’s pain. Yeol can’t cure her. Nin can’t promise she can stay.

Silence ate them again. They stopped crying and Yeol rested his head on Jae Nin’s bed.

 

“Chan Yeol.”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Chan Yeol.”

 

“Yes?” he raised his head and faced her.

 

“Nothing. If I call you once more, will you still answer?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“Chan Yeol.”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Chan Yeol.”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Chan Yeol.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love you more.”

 

She smiled and slowly closed her eyes. She’s tired. Really tired. She needs some rest. She needs to rest. As she closes her eyes, everything was fading fast.  So as her emotions. Her pain, her grief and her sadness. Until she felt nothing. Even Chan Yeol.

 

“Jae Nin..Jae Nin.” He called her. They were supposed to watch a show, but Jae Nin won’t wake up. He kissed her forehead, but still she isn’t waking up. He started panicking. He kissed her again, but Jae Nin isn’t responding.

 

“Hey! Jae Nin! Wake up! The show’s about to start! C’mon! You’ll miss it! Jae Nin!” he patted her shoulders several times, he kissed her forehead over and over again. He started crying. He’s hugging her so tight. He still calls her name.

 

But she can’t call him back.

 

Not now.

 

Not tomorrow.

 

Not ever.

 

 

 

END.