Kyuhyun never understood the definition of good friends, best friends and brothers. Maybe because he lost trust in his friendship and relationships with people around him, and having no physical brothers by his side, he didn't know to love like a brother. He believed that a good friend was the highest rank of feelings for a stranger. 

 

Not until he joined SM entertainment, where he met all his hyungs, his future band mates, his close friends and of course an exceptional guy that he didn't know how to love as a best friend, neither as a brother.

 

It started when he became the maknae of the famous idol group super junior and he was really shy, probably because he could tell that the members had a particular dislike and dissatisfaction for his debut within the group. He knew all those feelings really well, since he joined Suju at the pinnacle of their fame and it didn't seem fair for the other members who trained longer and harder than him.

 

When he first came to their dorm, he did not even have a bed. For nine months. Until the fans bought him one and he was to room with Sungmin. And within the 9 months, it was miserable for him. A boy caught his eye the first time. A boy. He couldn't really accept it either, but maybe he was gay just for that exceptional boy. And from that day, he never missed a chance to work extra hard to get his attention. 

 

Kyuhyun practised just as hard as the other members, sometimes even harder, but he was treated differently. During their lunch break, he was always asked to cook ramen or go down to the store specially to order take-outs. He convinced himself that he was willingly doing all this, hoping that that one special heartthrob of his would notice him. And so he complied every time. 

 

He wasn't from a family with high income, in fact he wasn't near the definition of average at all.  He knew he had to save money, so he made sure all his hyungs paid for their take-outs, well with an exception of course. He decided that he would starve to pay off for that boy. It wasn't obvious because he collected the money from them individually. That boy was oblivious, thinking that Kyuhyun was kind and didn't ask for paying back from the other members. It wasn't really any issue.

 

Training really hard became an excuse for him to stay in the gym longer to see that. Well, not really an excuse because he wanted to train harder as well to get approval from the other members. 

 

Other members, including 'him'.

 

He went for separate english classes on top of the vocal and dance classes he was already going to just to see that boy. 'He' gave Kyuhyun all the motivation he needed to ace his lessons and class tests. And naturally he studied really hard and he was always near the top of the class. He was 2nd, one placing behind that boy that caught his eye within suju. He purposefully had made mistakes such that that hyung would always score higher than him.

 

9 months for Kyuhyun passed like that. Until he finally got his bed and he was to room with Sungmin. When the rooming arrangements were out, he was felt that God really rewarded him, because he was gonna room with Sungmin. Lee Sungmin. That Sungmin that made him willingly sacrifice anything for. That sungmin that he wanted to be with. 

 

That sungmin that he was gonna be gay for.

 

It wasn't long till the members accepted him finally and learnt how to appreciate his presence within the team, because after all, he had talent enough to qualify (well at least in their opinion). Luckily, Sungmin quickly accepted Kyuhyun as well, the two becoming fast friends in just weeks.

 

Sungmin probably could have never guessed how much Kyuhyun craved for his feelings. He was oblivious. Being a room with him actually made Sungmin even less suspicious of his ual preference. During nights where they ended their schedule earlier, he heard Kyuhyun's late night talks about girls that he like, he heard about Kyuhyun's ideal types and he heard that Kyuhyun really liked many girls. 

 

Acting classes really paid off for Kyuhyun, since his lying worked. He knew that if Sungmin found out that he had a crush on the older boy since debut, they could never remain as good friends. So he did extra research into certain girls and acted as if he had an interest in them.

They became good friends, without their talks late into the nights, sharing about each other's secrets. Well, Sungmin's secrets mainly, because Kyuhyun didn't know what to share, afraid that he might just spill his feelings all out.

During English classes, Kyuhyun would always pay for their lunch and buy Sungmin bubble tea, and when the older did, he say Kyuhyun demanded that he didn't want to feel like he was owing money, hence he came up with an excuse: I don't like it when people spend money on me, but I like spending money for people. And just like that Sungmin didn't even suspect.

But the members did.

And they did not like it. Of course Eunhyuk was the one who noticed first, after all he was Sungmin's best friend. He noticed how Kyuhyun would pay for Sungmin's expenses despite Kyuhyun earning slightly lesser due to his late debut with the group. He noticed how Kyuhyun worked especially hard when Sungmin went to the gym as well. He noticed how Kyuhyun took on extra english classes and scoring lower than Sungmin, despite obviously studying harder than the older male and being more fluent in the language.

And donghae, being the first to truly be able to accept kyuhyun, mainly because he was neutral in his perspective of the new member, was the only one to have long known of Kyuhyun's feelings for sungmin. But as a promise, he kept it a secret. He accepted the maknae, he didn't have strong opinions with Kyuhyun's ual preference. But he knew it would tarnish the maknae's reputation. So Donghae kept it a secret, until the members began suspecting for real.

This went on for another half a year, and as soon as the members found out one by one (actually all together, with heechul and eunhyuk's help), Kyuhyun was once again, being the receiver of all chores and criticisms. He became the subject again. Lest did he know who stood up for him in that situation. 

It was not too long ago since Kyuhyun's second year of debut. It was not easy being him. The members began to shrug off their opinions on Kyuhyun being possibly gay for Sungmin and started to treat him a little better.

Realising that maybe he could never get the innocent pink bunny to be gay for him, he spoke to himself every day. He began trying to convince himself to like Sungmin as a good friend, but maybe however much he wanted it to be, he may never be able to have Sungmin as a best friend, not to mention, brother. He could love that pretty boy as a brother, his feelings was too strong. He had to convince himself.

No one, except maybe donghae, knew about how much he cried because Eunhyuk started hanging around sungmin more and more often. Because they were like best friends and most importantly, inseparable brother. Well, unlike him, Hyukkie knew how to love Sungmin as a brother. That made all the difference.

But unlike for any other girls or any other people, maybe there would be lust involved. Maybe his thoughts can be filled with just plain getting into their pants, but no. Just no. For sungmin. Kyuhyun is pretty sure that it is pure love, pure love and no other feelings. He didn't want to feel that way.

Then Hangeng left Super Junior. He watched how he was mistreated and he suffered during his performances. In fact he probably suffered a lot too. But he knew how to endure all the pain he had. Because it was nothing compared to knowing that someone you love could never love you in the same way.

They needed to have more members for Super Junior M so they had the rest of the members to try learning Chinese and then picking the more fluent ones from there to join SJM. Kyuhyun already part of SJM secretly prayed that Sungmin would be chosen. He really hoped to spend more time, even if it means to just be dancing together and having practices together, with sungmin.

However, Sungmin wasn't doing well in his Chinese lessons. Kyuhyun noticed that. He had been watching the older boy's progress and he was worried. He knew he was being selfish but still, he wanted Sungmin to do well.

No, he needed sungmin to do well.

Naturally he began helping him. He lent Sungmin all his notes from before and gave him tutoring lessons. His results of course improved a lot and so did their relationship. It was a bonus for Kyuhyun of course. Seeing his favourite hyung smile when getting full marks for his Chinese test made his heart flutter. From zero to full marks, he watched his hyung's progress and never failed to made his feelings grow deeper.

Kyuhyun's dream came through when Sungmin was casted for SJM to replace Hangeng's position. However, Eunhyuk was casted too. And in that instant his hopes were dashed. Occasionally, during their practises for SJM's concerts, Eunhyuk and Sungmin would eat lunch together, they celebrated together, they learnt the dance moves together.

Eunhyuk was especially good in dancing. But of course Kyuhyun felt Sungmin was better. Nevertheless, because of that, they had practices even after their normal schedule together. And as such Kyuhyun had lesser and lesser time with Sungmin.

He could only observe Sungmin from the side and laugh when he sees Sungmin laugh. He could only smile when he sees Sungmin smiles.
He could only watch from a distance.

He didn't show it though. He knew that if he didn't keep his poker face and continue being 'evil Kyu', Sungmin would find out. So he could only sit forlornly at the side. But never forgetting to buy Sungmin a sports drink and give it to him when he was done.

Donghae tried convincing Kyuhyun to stop pouring his heart out for Sungmin. He knew the older would never return his feelings. And he very well knew that Kyuhyun had been eating lesser to save up for Sungmin's sports drinks and snacks.

He saw how Kyuhyun envied them. Thus he decided that he was going to help Kyuhyun to focus on something else.

Months later, Kyuhyun was casted into K.R.Y, another sub group of super junior for his vocals. It wasn't really helpful though. To Kyuhyun, it meant lesser and lesser time to watch his favourite hyung, even from afar. To this little devil, it meant lesser investigating time( that's why he calls stalking). To him, it meant lesser time with Sungmin. 

And it was true. Sungmin was really busy with eunhyuk. He didn't realise that his roomate was becoming skinner and more tired than usual every day.

Donghae knew why. Because Sungmin was his roomate, he had used all his remaining time in his room, listening to Sungmin's chatter about his practices, of course while pretending to be playing Starcraft. Then, he would give his favourite hyung a good massage and then watching him fall asleep.

They would laugh together. It meant everything to Kyuhyun, their time together.

 Kyuhyun was seriously desperate to see his hyung despite their different schedules, so he began his pranks. He decided that he was gonna prank everyone on different days. He was becoming an expert at it. The members all knew which day they were going to be pranked on. But yet, despite their attempt to stop it, Kyuhyun always succeeded. 

Friday.

It was a special day reserved for his Sungmin hyung. The day Kyuhyun get to prank Sungmin. As his roomate, Kyuhyun found it really easy to prank on Sungmin. At the end of the prank, they would laugh together on their separate bed and to Kyuhyun, Friday was the only day he gets to be really happy. 

Sometimes he would steal Sungmin's pink bunny plushie and pretend to have fallen asleep with it. And he would see Sungmin standing by his bed, his body almost touching Kyuhyun's, face just inches away. And before he knows it, the bunny would return to its master. That left Kyuhyun's heart fluttering the entire night, because that was the only contact he could have.

Good things don't really last. It was a few months later when Sungmin was chosen to be part of Super Junior H. Their schedules became really different and sometimes clashed all the time. No more lunches together. No more dance practice in the same room. Lesser Chinese and English lessons together. 

But yet Kyuhyun's sports drink for sungmin always managed to make its way to Sungmin's dance practice room.

Donghae watched his dongsaeng starve himself, he watched his dongsaeng fall asleep during lessons, he watched him looking at Sungmin with eyes that was not full of mischief, but with loneliness and longing.

He decided to use his final card to help kyuhyun.

Without fail they began to see Donghae constantly clinging onto Eunhyuk. And they saw Donghae eating lunch with Eunhyuk. Kyuhyun knew what his best friend was trying to do for him. He smiled. He smiled for the first not because of Sungmin.

Donghae saw that smile later.

Not too long later. Donghae and Eunhyuk became a sub-group on its own. Together, they became closer and closer brothers that dance together and practically did everything together.

With lesser time to spend with Sungmin, Eunhyuk slowly became Donghae's possession.

That was when Sungmin felt really lonely and left out. He felt as if he didn't have someone to laugh with anymore. He didn't remember vividly his times with Kyuhyun as much as kyuhyun did, in Sungmin's innocent mind, there wasn't much about Kyuhyun.

However, this began to change. During K.R.Y's concert overseas, he would be left all alone in his room. He began to feel that something- or rather someone- was missing from his life. And he didn't like it.

During Sukira, he received a call from K.R.Y who was overseas and he suddenly felt warm. He could only remember how he received a passionate calling from his roomate. It strangely warmed his heart, to him it was a feeling he could not express. 

Kyuhyun on the other hand was feeling rather lonely, watching Yesung and Ryeowookie getting all close and together had him miss Sungmin a lot.

That was when Ryeowook saw Kyuhyun's sadness and decided to comfort him.

"Kyu, it's him, isn't it?" Ryeowook shyly asked. He knew about the scandal that had formed during Kyuhyun's debut three years ago. He secretly believed it was true, now he was sure of it.

"Who?" His thoughts were interrupted. He shook his head.

"It's obvious Kyu, that you miss a certain someone" he giggled. "Come on! It's Sukira now!" Ryeowook who co-mc-ed with Sungmin knew that it was time to call in. That was the first time Ryeowook had honestly seen Kyuhyun's light up. His eyes was bright again and filled with hope.

"Sungie, lets give Min a call!" Upon hearing Sungmin's voice, Kyuhyun blushed. Unitentionally, he blurted out really loudly,"Roomate! Nae Roomate!" When he heard Sungmin's response for him to come back soon, he could almost faint. His voice warmed Kyuhyun's heart and Kyuhyun felt as if he saw Sungmin in the distance.

When K.R.Y had returned to Korea, he realised that there was someone at the gates, wearing a certain pink hoodie and carrying a certain pink bunny. At first Kyuhyun thought he was hallucinating. Probably not enough rest. But no, he felt as if he heard Sungmin's voice too. 

"Yesungie! Wookie! Kyu!" He heard Sungmin called out. Yeah, he though to himself, I missed him too much. He never calls him that. Must be hallucination. 

But he felt a tight hug he was pulled into. It was warmth he never felt before. The feeling of the boy he liked- no, loved- his shirt and burying his head into Kyuhyun's chest. His heart was going to malfunction any minute.

But he knows its not a dream.

Dreams don't happen like this.

Dreams don't-

"Kyu~ while you were gone, I felt... Lonely" Sungmin's cheeks were already red from blushing, and so was Kyuhyun. He had not been hugged for so long. It felt foreign, but yet welcoming.

"Min..." He could only say that one word. It was like the lead singer had lost his voice. It was like he couldn't utter any more words. For the first time, he called Sungmin by just 'Min'.

And it felt right.

That night on the ride home, no one said anything. Yesung and Ryeowook were already sleeping on the van. But Sungmin and Kyuhyun could sleep at all. Kyuhyun who was sitting in the middle stared blankly into nowhere, his mind filled with random thoughts even he himself didn't know what he was thinking about. Sungmin on the other hand stared out of the window. He didn't know what to think either. Both of them had the same look on their faces. Blank.

However suddenly, the van tilted the side and skidded across the road, landing on one side as it crashed into the railings. That was when, everyone in the van stopped thinking. The load sound of a crash and then it was a painful silence. 

As the faint sound of sirens could be heard, amongst the silence of the van only a voice could be heard. "Kyu... Kyu..." A sound that was so emotionless. The van had landed on Sungmin's side, yet he could feel, he could still think. And the first thing he thought of, strangely was Kyuhyun. That was when he knew that Kyuhyun couldn't reply anymore. And he could feel Kyuhyun's warmth beside him anymore.

All he could feel was the cold and the emptiness as the paramedics lifted him up the stretcher. He couldn't even feel the pain anymore.

His next memory was of him waking up to a room with walls painted white and it strangely smelt of medicine. Then he heard Eunhyuk's voice.

"Minnie hyung! Oh my god! Minnie hyung is awake!" He could hear the sound of the other members waking up slowly one by one giving his hugs, especially eunhyuk, who almost broke all his bones. He slowly sat and realised it was just the next morning and he wasn't seriously injured at all. He could hardly remember what had happened, but he was cold. He felt painfully cold.

"Where Ryeowook and Yesung?" He spoke, voice soft and hoarse.

"Ryeowook had a few scars due to the glass and he had been fine. He woke up before you and is in the room next yours. However Yesung wasn't as lucky. He had glass embedded in his back and needed a few surgeries though. He hasn't woke up yet, but he has got a steady heartbeat. He is still under special care." Leeteuk explained. He stopped here because it pained him to explain what happened to the last member.

"Kyu? Where's Kyu?" His voice was barely audible, yet his eyes spoke for him. His eyes were opened already filled with tears that couldn't even fall.

"He... He might not make it. He is still in surgery... He broke so may bones, the doctor said he only has-" Donghae was the first to speak admits the heavy silence in the room. He felt sorry for his bestfriend, knowing that all Kyuhyun had been longing for the past three years of sleepless and starving nights was this. He knew Kyuhyun longed for Sungmin to ask about him.

But he felt a hand cover his mouth. It was Eunhyuk's hand. He knew very well.

"Kyu? Where is he?" His voice ws louder than the last time but it was muffled as he began to choke on his own tears. His eyes searched the room but he couldn't see Kyuhyun anywhere.

It was strange for Sungmin. He never felt this way for anyone. Having grown up in a family with a brother. He loved everyone as a brother. To Sungmin, loving as a brother was not a foreign feeling. But this was. He felt different for the first. He was not sure what he was feeling then, but he knows it was something. Something special he felt for Kyuhyun, that others call it love.

"20%. 20% chance of living." Eunhyuk said for Donghae, knowing that Sungmin would only believe if he said it. 

That's when he remembered everything. He remembered everything from day 1 till then. Most importantly, he remember what exactly happened in the van. When the accident happened, nobody was thinking. Yesung and Ryeowook had been sleeping peacefully and both he and Kyuhyun didn't know what to think. It was just the stagnant silence in the van. 

But yet when the accident happened, Kyuhyun was so quick to react, even sungmin couldn't respond. Kyuhyun had pulled Sungmin towards him, quickly buried his head in his chest and used his head to cover Sungmin's. Kyuhyun back had shielded sungmin and he was within Kyuhyun's embrace when it all had happened.

Strangely, Kyuhyun didn't think at all as well. Intuition. He protected Sungmin with his life.

Sungmin wanted to ball his eyes out crying, but he jut sat upright on his bed and stared blankly. Again, he didn't know what to think.

If he had lost Kyuhyun, he knew he would lose everything. Like Kyuhyun, he did not think, but quickly got off the hospital bed and walked towards the surgery room which he barely knew where it was. The members saw that, but didn't give chase. They knew sungmin had to settle it on his own.

He couldn't feel any pain anymore, except his heart still searching for Kyuhyun,

He saw himself walking towards the surgery room and he collapsed onto the ground, sitting outside the room like a lost kid, scared and blameless.

That was before he heard from inside the room, the voice of nurses and doctors yelling in panic," we're losing him! Hurry!".

Standing up once again, his eyes were empty. He pounded on the surgery door and thanks to his strength, the door forcibly opened. There was a looming feeling of doom within the echoing silence, when suddenly Sungmin voice filled the room. 

"I-WANT-MY-KYU! GIVE-HIM-BACK!" It was so loud that all the members gathered in front of the room as well, with nurses and doctor all standing still at the sudden loud noise.

Kyuhyun was motionlessly lying on the bed. Obviously, he was not thinking.

But actually he was dreaming. He saw a bright light with a smiling Sungmin facing him, arms wide opened as his perfect M-shaped lips broke into the perfect smile Kyuhyun had longed to see. He began walking slowly towards that Sungmin who was ready to embrace him, before he knew it his pace quickened. He could, however, hear noises in the back that sounded like 'we are losing him'  and 'hurry up'. But he couldn't care about that anymore. He just wanted to feel the warmth of his Sungmin hyung once again.

But just then, he heard a loud yell. Immediately, he turned his head around. He could recognise this voice without seeing actually. After all, he had spent so many nights listening to Sungmin as he rambled in about his day.

He heard Sungmin yelling for him. That was when he began to use his brains. He ran, and ran towards that voice in the distant. He was going to keep running after Sungmin.

The doctors and nurses soon recovered from their shock and began pushing Sungmin out of the room, however Sungmin fought back violently. Sungmin knew he never felt this way before, but he liked feeling this kind of love for Kyuhyun. So he fought on.

"His heartbeat is returning to normal!" One of the nurses exclaimed. That was when sungmin collapsed. He out and a pair of arms caught him.

He opened his eyes once again, waking up for the second time. This time the members were not beside him. He sat up and quickly got off the bed and ran to where his mind took him to. He ran to the surgery room. 

He pushed open the two white doors and realised the room was empty. That when he saw the rest of the members around a doctor whose face was contorted with pain. He ran towards the group and that was when he heard the good and bad news.

The doctor told then that Kyuhyun's life was no longer in danger but he could not speak. Unless a surgery was done, Kyuhyun may lose his ability to speak forever. However, the chances of succeeding the operation was low. That was when Sungmin realised that Mr. Cho was there too. Mr. Cho apparently made the decision to do the surgery, which Sungmin silently prayed for. He walked back to his bed and just sat.

He sat there and felt nothing. He just stared blankly into emptiness, knowing Kyuhyun might just have hopped onto the midnight train to nowhere.

The next time Kyuhyun came to his senses, he realised someone was speaking to him. It was his special someone. Even though he was injured, he was strangely still the evil Kyu he was. He decided not to move and just listen to Sungmin's voice.

He heard sungmin talk about all sorts of things. It was the sweetest thing he had heard in a while. Unexpectedly, he felt a weight pressed against his chest, which led to a sharp pain that jolted in his body. But the warmth soothed the pain. Because he knew that Sungmin was hugging him. And it felt so right.

Then he felt his shirt became wet, soaked with Sungmin's tears. But he felt so happy, accidentally he moved his hands. He gently lifted his hand and placed it on Sungmin's. 

"Kyu! You are awake! It's been 2 weeks since you had slipped into a coma! Kyuuuu~"

He could only smile. Because Kyuhyun never knew how to love as a brother, but he knew right now, how to love Sungmin more than anything.

When Kyuhyun was in the hospital, it became a routine for the members to visit him, and at the very back of the crowd would be Sungmin, who was second to be discharged from the hospital. Despite seeing everyone around him every day, his eyes always knew how to search for his Minnie in that crowd. In fact, Kyuhyun was sure that even if they were in another universe, he will still intuitively search for his Sungmin, since the beginning of time.

Sungmin always brought him soup that he cooked by himself. And he never failed to visit after practices. When Kyuhyun got better Sungmin decided to tell the rest of the members.

"Everyone. I've got something to say. Kyuhyunnie, would you be my prince and go out with me?" He asked in front of all the members. He looked confident and all, but he knew he might face harsh criticism from the members. After all, when Kyuhyun loved him, he didn't have a good life.

The members looked at him, some were shocked but some saw that coming.

"I am sorry, you all, but you guises have no say in this" Kyuhyun giggled. " because I am going to go out with Minnie and he is going to be mine forever~"

Kyuhyun saw, in the far corner, Donghae pulling Eunhyuk to the side and giving him a bone-breaking hug, before giving a wink to Kyuhyun. 

"And they lived happily ever after" Yesung and Ryeowook said in unison. 

Sungmin laughed, well, because he knows that it wouldn't be smooth sailing for Kyuhyun and him, after all, their company still bans all relationship. But he was sure of one thing: he was wrong in his firm defence that Kuuhyun wasn't gay. But well, he liked this feeling better.

He liked how he loved Kyuhyun.

And Kyuhyun learnt that he really knew how to love. He just found the right person to love. Forever.

Well, it's a long time, but- Kyumin is love, Right?