Kai wasn't really sure what he felt towards Ruki, but it certainly wasn't just friendship, or close friendship or even brotherhood. It was absolutely not dislike or hate either, and definitely not just plain 'like.' The best word Kai could come up with for this feeling was love. But there was so many different kinds of loves he didn't know which one of them it was, especially since he felt some sort of love towards all his band members.

But rest of the members were more like brothers to him. Uruha a brother who would always cheer him up and who he got well along with, Aoi an oldest brother who would never betray him and Reita an older brother who... Well, he was an older brother who would secretly read in his room and then do everything just to stop Kai from telling their parents, and who would snap at Kai anytime he could. And of course, all these brothers would bully him and , as any older brother would.

Ruki, however, was not a brother. Or maybe, if Kai was unknowingly into , he was. But around Ruki, everything was different. Sure he got bullied and teased by Ruki too, but whenever Ruki talked to him or looked at him, he felt something warm and fuzzy build up inside him and whenever Ruki touched him - was it a light brush by an accident or holding hands during the end of a tour final - he blushed deeply and felt weird tingling in the pit of his stomach.

Every evening, Kai would imagine how soothing it would be to drift asleep in a safe embrace of Ruki's arms and feel his heart beat steadily right next to his ear. Every night Kai would dream about Ruki, but the theme changed constantly - sometimes it was a nightmare where Ruki died, sometimes it was a romantic, fluffy dream where he would just cuddle with Ruki and sometimes it was... well, M-rated, to say at least. And every morning Kai would wake up disappointed, wanting to have been woken up next to Ruki.

This is why Kai preferred calling it by a simple word, 'love.' Still he thought 'love' wasn't just as strong as this, but it wasn't lust either because for him, the word 'lust' stood for wanting. 'Wanting', in Kai's opinion, was when he would do anything to get Ruki be his and his only, but Kai didn't do anything, only dreamt of it happening. Besides, Kai didn't exactly want Ruki to be his. He didn't want to have any kind of control over Ruki, and he would've much rather be 'owned' by Ruki than being the 'owner' of Ruki. Again, Kai's meanings for words were a bit different than someone would first think. You see, in Kai's mind, 'Owning' didn't mean full control and having to keep someone all to oneself, but it meant loving something so much one doesn't want to let go.

Well, Kai's mind was quite complicated and hard to understand because of these details, and explaining it fully would make a short story long, which is a complete opposite of the saying 'to make a long story short', which is the point of the meaning of a story with only one chapter to it. And with that, let's get on with the story itself.

One day, when it seemed like the dark, heavy clouds would soon let the water pour from the sky, it was time for the GazettE to shoot a PV for a new single. The video would be filmed in a rocky beach by the ocean, where water would crush hard against the cliffs that seemed to be wanting to reach the sky. Kai thought the place looked really pretty, and he came there earlier than anyone else. Since there was nothing else to do, he decided to take a walk on the beach.

The sea looked really cold and stormy, but in reality it was really warm so Kai took of his shoes and socks and started walking in the shore, where the cool water would splash against his bare ankles. He smiled, and as always when he did, a dimple appeared on his left cheek. He was glad the beach was deserted, or otherwise people would think weirdly of the dark-haired drummer smiling and looking into empty space as he walked slowly in the water.

He had no idea what hit him, or even what was going on when something suddenly pushed him into the water, under the surface. In surprise, he gasped water into his lungs and thought he was going to die before he was pulled back above the water. He coughed the salty water out and panted heavily, trying to in as much oxygen as he could. He had been underwater only for mere seconds, and he was nearly choking... How embarrassing it was, but became even more humiliating as rubbed the water out of his eyes and realized it was another band member hovering on top of him.

Ruki was soaked too, and Kai could see through the younger male's pure white shirt as it was so wet. There was some water dripping off Ruki's dirty-blonde hair he had dyed just a while ago, and he was gazing worriedly at the band's leader, his eyes - which, by the way, had very light blue contact lenses on right now - filled with concern.

"Sorry, I was running and didn't see you... You 'kay?" Ruki asked. His voice was pretty raspy and quiet at the moment, which meant he had been practicing the whole last night - and of course, it had suffered quite the lot from the recent recording, too.

"Y- Yeah", Kai stuttered. He couldn't take his eyes off the vocalist right now, as his body could so clearly be seen under the shirt. Kai had no idea why Ruki didn't expose his skin at all during lives, PVs, interviews or photo shoots. He was gorgeous, everyone knew that! There was nothing to be ashamed of...

"Eeeh... We're lucky there's still time left 'til we're shooting. We'll get some time to get dry", Ruki said with a soft, gentle smile that curved slightly more to the right. When Ruki helped Kai up, the drummer stumbled quite the bit as he was still dizzy from Ruki's very attractive look. But then, all of sudden, Ruki took his shirt completely off and twisted it, making water drip on the soft sand. Now seeing a full view of Ruki's upper body, a bright red blush spread on Kai's face.

"Hm? Kai, is something wrong?" Ruki asked, oblivious of Kai's thoughts. The brunette pursed his lips together and shook his head quickly. Ruki grinned and started taking Kai's shirt off too, making him startle greatly.

"Ruki! What're you doing?!" he squealed and backed away, nearly falling on the water again.

"We gotta get our shirts dry!" the blonde said and tried ripping Kai's shirt off while the other screamed like a little girl and tried to push him away. Eventually Ruki gave up sighing and asked: "Okay, Kai, what's wrong? Why can't you take your shirt off?"

"I'm not gonna undress in front of you!" Kai said in a rather high-pitched voice.

"You do realize we've known for over ten years and we've seen each other plenty of times in the dressing rooms, right?" Ruki pointed out and raised his eyebrow. Kai blushed, pouted and muttered: "That's different..."

"You've let Reita take your shirt off", Ruki said.

"Well, yeah, but that's because the zipper was stuck and I couldn't get it off myself!" Kai insisted.

"And how is it any different from this?" Ruki asked curiously, folding his arms over his bare chest.

"Because that was Reita, you are... You!" Kai replied childishly.

"And why am I so different?"

Kai bit his lip, not wanting to answer. Oh, there were so many ways Ruki was different, so many ways he couldn't possibly list them all. He felt a desperate urge to confess Ruki everything, to tell him how deeply in love he was with him... But he couldn't. If he did, just how would Ruki react? There were such a big number of ways for him to react to Kai's feelings the brunette couldn't possibly take a risk. Of course, Ruki could accept his feelings, pull him into a deep, passionate kiss and they would live happily ever after. But he could just say 'sorry' and tell Kai he was straight, that he didn't want to be in a relationship with Kai and they could never look into each other's eyes again. Or, it could have a horrible twist and Ruki would completely reject him, yell at him, remind him of the band and how serious it was to have a relationship with a member, and in the end Kai would leave the band forever...

"Kai?"

Ruki's voice, rough and quiet, brought Kai back to reality. The brunette gazed at Ruki with hurt, tearful eyes. He always tried not to think about how Ruki could react, but whenever he did think about it, salty water blurred his vision.

"I love you", Kai squeaked without realizing he had said it out loud. He immediately slapped his hands over his mouth, even though he knew it was too late. He felt how the tears had now climbed their way out of his eyes and now were streaming hot on his cheeks. He covered those very eyes; he didn't want to see the look on Ruki's face. He heard the vocalist say something, but couldn't make up the words and continued crying silently. He was hoping Ruki didn't see his tears, since he didn't want to seem weak in front of Ruki's eyes, no matter how true it was.

"Kai, look at me." Ruki grabbed Kai's slim wrists, pulling his hands away from his face and made him look at himself. Unlike Kai had imagined, Ruki had a soft, almost unnoticeable smile gracing his curved lips and his gaze was warm and loving. Ruki released one of Kai's hand and brought his own to caress Kai's cheek lightly, wiping away some of the tears. Even though Ruki was shorter, Kai felt so small and fragile in front of him. It was almost like he was a little child, while Ruki towered above him like a basketball player.

"I'm glad", Ruki said simply. Kai was so shocked he fell over on the water again, accidentally dragging Ruki with him. He squeezed his eyes shut and ignored the water splashing over him and Ruki.

"I'm glad you love me, Kai", Ruki stated softly, seeming like he hadn't even noticed falling down with Kai. He sat up, still in the water, and pulled Kai into an embrace so warm the cool waves felt like nothing against their skins. Kai shed more tears on the crook of Ruki's neck, wrapping his arms around the blonde and not saying a word.

"I love you too", Ruki mumbled so quietly Kai had hard time hearing it over the water and his sobs. He pressed himself closer to his loved one. He wanted to feel him as close as possible, his breath steadily tickling his skin.

From that moment, everything became unreal - or at least it felt so. The deep, long kisses Ruki planted on his lips, the vocalist's arms wrapping strongly and possessively around his body, the loving warmth surrounding him. This is just a dream, Kai told himself, but wasn't sure if he could believe his own, unspoken words.

"You know..." Ruki breathed after many kisses - Kai had lost the count of them. Kai gazed at the blonde dreamily, silently telling him to go on. Ruki gave Kai's lips another kiss, but this one being just a light peck. "Do you think they could do without us for a while...?"

At first, Kai had no idea what the other was talking about, but then remembered they were supposed to start shooting the PV soon.

"M- Maybe, for a few minutes", Kai stuttered. Ruki nuzzled his face into Kai's neck and murmured: "But I need more than a few minutes with you, sweetheart..."

Kai's heart skipped another beat as he heard his love call him 'sweetheart.' This really had to be a dream... But even if it was a dream, he could as well live with the dream, right? It wouldn't hurt to do whatever Ruki wanted, a dream wouldn't matter in real life. But if it wasn't a dream, they could miss the PV's shooting and their manager would yell at them.

"How about after the shooting?" Kai suggested, still out of breath and not exactly knowing what Ruki wanted to do with him anyway. He had his hopes high, though...

"I'm not sure if I'll be able to hold on that long", Ruki said, his lips brushing against Kai's ear, making him shudder.

"But Ru... I... Ah..." Kai's words trailed off when he felt a tongue his ear.

"R- Really, Ruki, not now..."

"But Kai... I want you..."

"Ru..."

...

...

...

...

Kai's eyes shot open, and he looked around just to be disappointed. Of course it didn't happen. He tried to sit up, but several things prevented his for doing; first of all, there was an arm wrapped around his upper body. Secondly, his hurt so much he doubted he could sit all day - and not to even mention standing up straight and walking without limping.

He now noticed he was , in Ruki's bedroom, and as he looked to his right, he saw Ruki in deep sleep, embracing him tightly - stark . Kai blushed deeply, and last night's memories flowed into his mind in a mere second.

The dream had been true... But they hadn't done it at the beach, Kai had managed to convince Ruki to wait until they finished. And then, Ruki had dragged him into his apartment and...

Kai wasn't sure if he wanted to remember more, but he did, and oh... it had been such a beautiful mix of pain and pleasure, he had loved it. The thought of Ruki slamming into him fast, rough and hard and the throaty groans of Ruki's brought back the tingling, excited shudders.

"Ru- Ruki", he whispered, slightly in panic and shook the vocalist's shoulders. Ruki's hair that usually was so greatly styled was now messed up, which amused Kai a bit. Ruki's light snoring stopped and he opened his eyes. He smiled and pulled Kai closer for a kiss. When they parted, he purred: "Mornin', babe... Had fun last night?"

"W- We... Did we really...?" Kai stuttered. Ruki snorted and answered: "Can't you tell?"

"Oh my God..."

"C'mon, I want breakfast and you said you'd make it", Ruki said and rose from the bed, stretching and yawning while he was at it. Kai tried to do so too, but the pain in his just got worse and he let out a sharp gasp.

"I'm a real pain in the , aren't I?" Ruki joked with a grin.

"That's not funny... It hurts like hell", Kai hissed. Ruki chuckled and picked the drummer up - despite their size difference, Ruki was actually very easily able to carry the brunette. As he carried Kai to the kitchen, he listed all the things he wanted to eat for breakfast.

"...and fried eggs and scrambled eggs and fresh orange juice and bacon and..."

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I've been working a lot recently! Yesterday I published two new chapters for my fanfics, now this oneshot and I MAYBE might publish something tomorrow or the day after... I'm on a roll!

Anyway, make sure to drop a comment, I assure you, it doesn't take long ^_^