My Christmas edition of Starbucks cup was wrapped by my fingers as I walked to my apartment’s gigantic window. I pressed my cherry-lip balm-covered lips against the ceramic and began to slowly sipping my warm and sweet morning caffeine. As the liquid slurred through my throat, my eyelids met and I exhaled deeply. The sun was already showing itself in the midst of endless blue sky full of white clouds that time. My alarm suddenly rang, reminded me that it was already seven o’clock in the morning. I eventually turned it off after seconds passed. I saw the desk calendar on the same table when I put the alarm away, and flipped the page. I threw it an empty stare as I read the word, December. I felt like throwing up just by thinking of it.

Why December? It felt like yesterday was August, and time was running so fast, faster than any express train on this earth. I don’t hate December, it’s just, our relationship’s never good. I shifted my gaze towards a wooden framed picture, still placed on the same table. I reached for it, and I saw a happy couple, smiling like they’re the happiest in the world to me. My hand shook a bit, and I decided to put the picture back onto the table. I dragged my feet back towards the window of my apartment, sipped another gulp of coffee, and placed my forehead on the huge glass.

“Sojin noona,” I turned my head as I heard his voice, calling me. “What,” I answered without much expression. “Remember this song?” He asked, grinning, and his dimples showing, framing his thin lips. I raised my brows and brushed my red hair behind my ear. I started to hear the melody of Crazy Love that was sung by no other than Michael Bublé. I nodded slowly and answered, “Yeah, I do.” That man placed his chin on his palm and smiled gently, “I miss singing together like we used to.” I looked right to his eyes, and a little laugh couldn’t be held anymore. I avoided his eyes and instead, I just stare to the table right in front of me. Frankly saying, I missed that moment too. I loved him, I really did, but I didn’t know what made me not sure of him. It’s just not right. “Hongbin-ah, can we go home now? It’s too cold outside,” I asked coldly. He hesitated at first, but then agreed eventually. He took me by my hand and our fingers entwined as we walked towards his car without saying any words.

I opened my eyes and found myself in my apartment, now. My heart raced, and I already knew what will happen next. I just, didn’t want that to happen. But I wasn’t fortunate, and that bitter memory flashed through my empty mind.

I managed to scream before throwing my pen onto my work desk, grabbing my handbag harshly, and rushed to the emergency stairs not too far from my desk. “Sojin-ssi, where are you going?!” I heard my co-worker shouted, but that question remained unanswered as I didn’t waste any second to answer. I got into my car and stepped on the gas, quickly headed to the hospital where Hongbin was taken. My vision was blurry, and unnoticeably, my tears were already flowing down on my cheeks. I ran inside the hospital after I parked my car sloppily. My eyes darted to the emergency room, and soon caught Hongbin, powerlessly laid on the hospital bed, crimson blood smeared on him. “Hongbin-ah!” I exclaimed and people turned their heads immediately towards me. I rushed to him in my heels, and grabbed his cold blood-stained hands. My tears were already streaming down. Hongbin looked at me weakly with a questioning look on his eyes. “Noona?” His voice was fragile. My voice cracked, “Yeah, I’m here Hongbin-ah. Please stay with me. Don’t leave me, Hongbin-ah.” He whispered his next words, “I’m sorry.” Those words hurt me the most. Moreover, those were Hongbin’s last words.

Enough, I mentally screamed to wake myself up. I got a sudden headache, and a stab on my heart. I could scarcely feel my knees. I decided to just sit down before I fell to the cold floor. Though I cry no more, I could still feel the ache in my heart. More like guilt, exactly. It was like his fault, when in fact it was nobody’s. Maybe it’s mine? I honestly couldn’t answer. I looked at the calendar that showed December again. Seven days left until exactly one year Hongbin left me forever. I clasped my fingers and shut my eyes hard. I wished for no more hatred in this month. I wished that pain would be exchanged with joy. I wished, I could make up with December.

My coffee wasn’t anymore warm, and I threw it away, only to be replaced with cold water. Water refreshed both my dry throat and my mind. I took a quick morning shower and got ready to meet Hongbin. Before that, I bought a bouquet of white daisies. In less than 20 minutes, I arrived at the cemetery where Hongbin rests for eternity.

“Hey, Hongbin-ah,” I greeted as I arrived at his tomb, but silence was all I heard. One full minute passed without any answer. “Hey, Sojin noona.” My heart dropped as suddenly I heard a voice calling my name, and I didn’t misheard. My eyes were widened, and I titled my head to the source of the voice. I couldn’t believe what I just saw, and it felt like a dream when my eyes caught the sight of a tall man with jet black hair, smiling ever so dearly to me, with dimples on both sides. My head was spinning badly, and I still thought that it was only an illusion. But then I encouraged myself to ask, “Hongbin?” He chuckled and nodded, “Yeah, it’s me, noona.” I was still in shock, and it felt like my heart stopped beating at one moment when I realized, that that was real. I blinked several times, at the same time wished for him to disappear, also wished for him to stay, for one last time.

Eleven seconds passed, and I found myself sitting on his jacket on the ground, with Hongbin by my side. “Hongbin-ah, I’m sorry I didn’t treat you better. You shouldn’t be sorry that time, I should.” Hongbin patted me by my head. I continued, “But then I realized, that your love is full of sincerity. Please, forgive me?” Hongbin smiled and finally said, “That’s not your fault.” I was then pulled into his arms, and he hugged me tightly. How I wished to stay like this a bit longer. I wept silently. He broke the hug and gazed right to my orbs, “I don’t want to see you cry anymore. It hurts me to see you cry,” he began while wiping the tears away gently. My lips crooked a smile, and he replied it. “I think you should buy that CD,” he said. Confused, I asked, “What CD?” He laughed lightly and answered, “Michael Bublé.” I nodded and flew my gaze towards the dancing grasses, “Oh. Yeah, I will.” Silence made me turn my head towards my side, and he wasn’t there.

I walked out from the cemetery with a brand new smile. My mind was still on Hongbin, and unknowingly, my legs brought me to a CD store at the downtown. I went inside and rushed to the Jazz section, scanned every corner of the room afterwards. A smile was plastered on my face as soon as my eyes caught the glimpse of the album with Crazy Love written on it. I hurriedly reached for the album, and right in that moment, someone was also going to take that CD. “Oh, sorry,” we said in unison. He smiled at me and said, “You take it.” I shook my head and denied, “No, thanks. You take it.” He turned out to be a stubborn man, “I’m serious, really. Take it.” I didn’t know what to do, even though I wanted it badly, I kept on saying, “I’m serious too, you take it.” After seconds of our unnecessary debate, I finally gave up and took the CD, which turned out to be the last stock. He surprisingly began the conversation, “You like Michael Bublé?” I smiled, “Pretty much. You?” He smiled back, “Very.” I found it quite adorable, his smile. I just nodded, didn’t really have any idea on how to keep the conversation going. An awkward silence came between us for a couple of seconds before he suddenly said, “You wanna have some coffee together? It’s my treat.” I found myself smiling at his offer, and answered, “Sure.” He grinned and his eyes formed a shape of crescent, letting out a hand for a shake, “Name’s Taekwoon.” I shook his hand, and thought, why would this happen to me? Am I going to enter a new chapter in my life? “Sojin.” I answered, and thought that I could make up with December this time.

The End.

[a/n: ta-dah! omg hahah sorry if it's really crap otl anyway i wrote this based on my delusional vixxday shipping though it's a crackship but idk i just have feelings for hongbin x sojin kkk but after that Now performance i kinda have smth for leo x sojin kya sojin is my ultimate in gsd--tho i like them all very much--and she doesnt really have any pairings so yeah hehe hope you guys enjoy this very short oneshot or should i say drabble? and i hope you guys will have sobean--yes it's how i name this pairing don't laugh--feels, or maybe leojin /hides/ ok it's a very long a/n see ya love ya <3]

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