Some of the stuff is a little inapropriate. Just a fair warning. Nothing M though. PG-13, I guess? 

PARK JUNGSU: User Guide and Manual

CONGRATULATIONS! You have just purchased your very own PARK JUNGSU unit! In order for you to experience all this unit has to offer, we have provided this manual. To avoid an over-protective mother unit, we suggest you read it.

Technical Specifications:

Name: Park Jungsu. Will respond to “Leeteuk,” “Teukie,” “Umma,” “Ahjussi,” or “Elder.”

Age: 31

Place of Manufacture: Seoul, South Korea

Height: 179cm

Length: Heavenly.

Your PARK JUNGSU unit comes with the following:

Two (2) stage outfits (random)

One (1) toy microphone

Two (2) pairs of shoe lifts

One (1) pair of glasses

One (1) pair of costume angel wings

Programming:

Your PARK JUNGSU unit comes with the following traits:

Babysitter: Considering he had to lead all of the other 12-14 members of Super Junior, your unit has developed a very mother-like nature and is not afraid to discipline. He will have busy mothers begging for him to watch their children.

Stripper: Despite his adorable dimples, your PARK JUNGSU unit has one heck of a body. If you can convince him to show off his abs in front of strangers, he will rake in the dough!

Maid: As he is the leader of one of Asia’s largest boy groups, PARK JUNGSU is quite used to having to tidy up after people and will keep your house, along with those of his paying customers, squeaky clean.

Removal of your PARK JUNGSU from Packaging:

Your unit is generally very friendly and easy-going, but he does not do well when meeting strangers. And so, in order for us to avoid receiving tear-filled calls from unit owners after he has yelled their heads off, we have provided this list of easy and safe ways to wake up and befriend your unit.

1. Play any Super Junior song. If the song is newer, your unit will most likely burst out singing. However, if the song is older, your unit may burst into tears at the thought of the fond memories the song brings up. Either way, your PARK JUNGSU unit will be docile enough for you to reprogram him if desired.

2. Pretend like you’re in a variety show. The PARK JUNGSU has an odd obsession with hosting and will immediately jump into character. Wait for him to do a dramatic pause, then reprogram if necessary.

3. Find a KIM YOUNGWOON unit and sit back and enjoy the show. Most likely the KIM YOUNGWOON unit will be able to coax PARK JUNGSU out of the box. If not, KIM YOUNGWOON will drag PARK JUNGSU out of the box. Then you may reprogram him. Be careful, though. KIM YOUNGWOON, despite all evidence contrary, is very fond of PARK JUNGSU and has the strength of a grizzly bear.

Reprogramming

After removing your PARK JUNGSU from his packaging, you may reprogram him to one of the following modes:

Umma/Leader (default)

MC (default)

Emotional

y (locked)

The PARK JUNGSU unit is equipped with two default modes, Umma/Leader and MC. In the Umma/Leader mode, your unit will be very caring towards those he likes. He will constantly worry about them and make sure they’re not hurt or hungry. However, he will also be firm to those who misbehave. In the MC mode, PARK JUNGSU will narrate everything happening around him, even mundane events such as dusting or falling out of bed. If this gets too annoying, simply tell him off, and he’ll feel embarrassed for weeks, and you’ll have peace and quiet (for a little while anyway).

PARK JUNGSU’s Emotional mode is not very difficult to achieve. He cries at almost everything. Simply show him a tearjerker or give him a prestigious award, and he’ll be bawling his eyes out all over your expensive leather sofa. Please note that PARK JUNGSU is not the prettiest cryer in the world and may also blow his nose in your handmade, pure white curtains. We are not responsible for buying you new ones.

PARK JUNGSU’s y mode is locked to avoid sending minors to the hospital for blood loss due to nosebleeds and comas. However, for those of you old enough to handle him, PARK JUNGSU’s y mode is not extremely difficult to unlock. All you have to do is dim the lights a bit and play some mindless party music and you’ll have your own personal stripper in no time. We suggest setting up cameras.

Relationships with Other Units

While PARK JUNGSU is not good with strangers, he will warm up to almost anyone if given a little time. Here are a few units he spends much of his time with.

KIM YOUNGWOON: PARK JUNGSU is very close with KIM YOUNGWOON and the two enjoy each other’s company. A romantic relationship can achieved very easily between the two as well. We suggest investing in some soundproof walls, however, if you are a light sleeper.

KIM HEECHUL: KIM HEECHUL is the closest in Super Junior to PARK JUNGSU’s age, so PARK JUNGSU often confides in him about his worries as a leader. KIM HEECHUL is a skinship king, so romantic relationship between the two would be easily obtained with some alone time between them.

CHO KYUHYUN: After a rocky start, these two have formed a wonderful maknae-leader relationship. They see each other as close friends before anything. But with a little prodding, a romance may blossom.

Cleaning

Your PARK JUNSU unit is very clean and perfectly capable of bathing himself. He will bathe with you if you ask but will most likely be very shy the entire time.

Feeding

PARK JUNGSU usually eats when he’s hungry, but sometimes may forget if he’s worrying about too much or feels he’s getting too fat. You can probably guilt him into eating something by saying you’re worried about his health.

Rest

This unit is a good sleeper and will go to bed when he feels tired. He will wake up early most of the time and possibly wake you up too out of habit, insisting you’re going to be late for something. Tell him it’s a day off, and he’ll apologize and go back to sleep.

FAQ

Q: My unit keeps snapping at me. I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong!

A: Well, you may have done something wrong and don’t realize it. Ask him what’s the matter and do your best to fix the problem. He’ll forgive you eventually.

Q: My unit keeps zoning out and gazing into the distance with a teary look in his eyes while sighing a lot…

Q: Congrats! You’ve unlocked your unit’s hidden Sentimental mode! In this mode, he is remembering the good ol’ days of Super Junior. Your best bet is to wait it out. He’ll come to eventually. You can try to bring him back to reality by showing him some songs you wrote. We can’t guarantee this will work, though. If it lasts more than a week, call Customer Service, and we’ll straighten him out.

Troubleshooting

Problem: Your unit is running around wearing nothing but tidy-whities and his angel wings. He is constantly doing pelvic s and yelling about crappy contracts. He has also broken into your room and tried to force you into some lacy lingerie that you don’t remember owning.

Solution: Your unit is drunk. Try getting him to lie down. If you can, he’ll fall asleep almost instantly and you can dress him into something decent. If you can’t, we suggest finding somewhere else to stay for the night, especially if you want to keep your ity.

End Notes

With enough love and boxes of tissues, PARK JUNGSU will prove himself to be a delightful companion. Good luck, and we hope you enjoy your unit.

So what do you think? I'm planning on doing more, and I've got several started.