The scent of a hospital was never fun. Neither do the people. They act-or barely stood motionless. How boring. And full of despair from those who are powerless. Sehun sat on the black metallic bench outside Emergency Operation Room 02 and sighed. It’s all my fault. He leaned on his chin and rushed his hair backwards. I should’ve not let him chase after the thief.

 

A little girl with pink dolly in her hand passed nearby him and smiled. Sehun smiled back. A second later he realized about Luhan. Is the operation has to be held now? He sighed again as the tragedy thirty minutes ago starts to play on his mind.

 

 

 

“Please! Somebody! Anybody! That guy has my purse!” A lady screamed around fifteen meters behind us right after we stepped out of the bubble tea café. It was our fourth anniversary of dating and me and Luhan decided to shop in the streets of Myeongdong.

 

“Oh God, Sehunnie! That thied stole the women’s purse!” Luhan panicked and pointed towards a tall guy running ten meters in front of us.

“Let it be, it’s none of our concern, dear.” I ignored him and sipped a bit of my chocolate bubble tea.

“ it, Hun, I’m chasing after him.” Luhan passed his taro bubble tea towards me and ran after the thied.

“Luhan! No, don’t be cr- aargh stopp!!” I ran after him, holding two bubble teas like an idiot. “Get back to your senses Han! Stop it! I couldn’t catch up!!” But Luhan was meters away from me and obviously he couldn’t hear me.

 

Right when I stopped, Luhan crossed over the street around twenty meters from me and,

 

BRUAKK!!

 

 

 

A metallic sedan crashed after him and the thief was four meters away. The edge of the car hit his head. I froze. The cones dropped from my hand. People started to crowd around Luhan and the car. I still stood there. Everything is moving in some kind of slow motioned mode. My mouth opened wide. A tear fell from my right eye.

 

What has just happened?

 

 

 

“Mr Oh Sehun? Could you hear me?” The nurse patted my shoulder, “Luhan is moved to the normal room already, would you like to see him?”

I quickly stood up and nodded, “Oh, well yes thank you, I would.” The nurse showed the way to the normal patient room for conscious patients.

 

Patient room E9037. Luhan’s inside. I could barely breath. The nurse knocked on the door and swung it open. There’s a bed facing the window with great view of Seoul. A boy maskered with physiotheraphy pipes is sleeping-perhaps unconscious. White fabric covered his backhead upwards to his forehead, making his brown hair flipped away. He looked beautiful even when asleep.  His eyelashes moved a bit towards the air conditioner wind that blew it slowly. He looked relaxed. And his breaths are organized. Luhan is fine.

 

“Sorry, could you leave us alone pleas?” I glanced at the nurse and she nodded.

“Call me if you need anything, Mr. Sehun,” I muttered a thankyou and she left.

 

My steps felt heavy when I slowly pull the chair next to Luhan’s bed and sat down. I reached for his right hand under the blanket and hold it tight. His hands were cold.

 

 I coughed and began to speak. “Luhan,” I called him.

 

He didn’t move.

 

“Luhan if you could hear me, squeeze my hand.”

 

Nothing happened. It was all my fault. I hate myself for being such a slow runner when I knew exactly my boyfriend is in danger. Bastard.

 

“Luhan, I…” my throat strangled. I don’t know what to say.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t catch up.” I closed my eyes.

“I’m sorry I let you in this, I’m sorry for my clumsiness.” I left out a long breath.

“But it was also unfair, you know… You have no idea how I panicked right now.” My free left hand harden on my lap. My heart burnt in anger. Anger towards myself.

 

“You have no idea how I would trade my life for you.”

 

A drop of tear landed on my left hand. Damn it! Why couldn’t I hold my own tears not to drop? It started flowing. And I didn’t know how many drops had fallen.

 

“Luhan,” I started again, sighing, “I don’t know what will happen to me if I loose you.. Please, I promise I’ll be a better runner to catch up.” My free left hand and my lap is fully wet right now.

 

“I promise I’ll pay more attention, and we’ll race together.” I smiled a bit to him. Hoping he’ll react. “I promise everything, just, just open your eyes.” My voice cracked, eyes fillen with waters. “Just tell me you’re still alive.”

 

Could I be selfish now? Could I force him to stay with me forever?

 

I glanced at him and my eyes widened. Luhan’s right cheek is wet! He’s crying! He could hear me! My tears ran down harder and I moved forward to get closer with him and hold his right hand tighter.

 

“Luhan,” I called.

“Luhan, could you hear me? I know you could.” Both of my cheek is fully wet and my heart paced.

“Luhan, please know that everything will be just fine, you hear me? Everything will be just fine, I promise.”

 

A drop of water rolled down Luhan’s cheek. I covered my mouth as I gasps.

 

“And you have to promise me something too, you have to promise you’ll be strong and stay alive.” I tried to control my tears but it just won’t stop.

 

“And please know that…” I forced a smile so very hardly.

 

 

 

“I will always love you. Always.”

 

***