Eleven.

The drug that kept him going.

Seyoon couldn’t believe what was happening, yet again. Cho Kyuhyun was kissing her, and this time he was completely sober.

She didn’t know what to do at first. She remained there with eyes wide open, standing there like a statue. But then he leaned in for the second kiss, and then the third, fourth, fifth time –she lost count because her head started to cloud over – that night; and gone was hesitation.

She kissed him back slowly.

He was so gentle with everything, his hands were politely on her left cheek and her lower back. They didn’t wander anywhere. They were placed so carefully, holding her as if she was so breakable, as if she was as delicate as a crystal glass and would shatter the moment he let go.

This one small detail was making her fall deeper, and somehow it didn’t cross her mind whether he was going to catch her in her fall, or just let her go stumbling and free falling. It didn’t cross her mind whether or not him and her together like this was going to be harmless for her.

If only she realized how much it was going to be blinding for her.

As they kissed, questions began ramming into her head about the recent events. What was happening. Why was he kissing her. What was he telling her before the kiss. Why was he here.

She was starting to feel overwhelmed, but she kept it to herself. She decided those questions weren’t important enough...

Actually, they were important. But maybe they could wait. It felt like this dreamy spell was going to be broken if she pulled away and started flooding him with questions. She wasn’t going to risk it.

A few minutes after her internal debate Kyuhyun finally pulled away, resting his forehead on hers and watching her breathe heavily. Her cheeks were flushed. Her lips were red and slightly trembling, her eyes still closed shut. He took a moment to admire the beauty and a soft sigh left his lips.

What a beautiful sight. What a distracting kiss.

The moment was indeed ethereal.

“Breathe, Seyoon-ah,” he told her quietly, brushing his thumb over her cheekbone. “And talk.”

Seyoon opened her eyes and stared at his shirt, inhaling a shaky breath.

“What...” she stopped at her first word, biting her lip. She still wasn’t steady enough, so she counted to ten again to pull herself together. After deciding she had found her tongue once again, she breathed out and tried again, “What just happened?”

Kyuhyun looked at her, his dark brown eyes smiling with his lips. “We just kissed.” He watched as the tint of pink on her cheeks darkened into scarlet. “I just kissed you.”

“Why did you kiss me?”

Seyoon wanted to applaud for herself for not stuttering as she asked the question.

Kyuhyun tucked the stray strands of hair behind her ears and leaned in once again, kissing the tip of her nose. Her temperature was feverish from the blush.

“Do I have to have a reason to kiss you?” he injected a playful tone into his question, pressing his lips again on hers for a few seconds.

That kiss was intended to block her question. That kiss was meant to avoid the guilt creeping up his chest because he had been kissing her for all the wrong reasons.

For a distraction. For a rebound.

Kyuhyun frowned. Suddenly the urge to punch himself to bloody pulp for acting like a complete bastard was overwhelming. Unfortunately, the urge to keep Seyoon by his side was even stronger.

He couldn’t stop. He couldn’t get away. After their moments just now, he knew she was going to be too addicting to him. She was going to be that drug that kept him going – one that he was going to have to get in his system on daily basis.

No, he couldn’t stop this. Not now, not yet.

She was still closing her eyes even after he pulled away this time. Her knees had gone wobbly and her mind was now completely blank. But it didn’t matter; he was there to hold her.

“Wow,” she whispered.

“Yes. Wow, indeed.” He agreed. He couldn’t deny that the kiss felt as great as the one he felt in his dream.

“What does that mean?” she asked after a moment of silence.

“What?”

“The... the kiss...” she opened her eyes again to look at him. “What does that mean?”

Kyuhyun’s body went rigid, obviously not expecting this one question. His gaze went from amused to cautious on her, his brain whirring inside his head to analyze and find a good answer for that. Why did her questions keep trapping him?

Yes, the kiss was great. Yes, she felt so soft and smelled pretty damn sweet and all that.

But he couldn’t lie; it didn’t mean anything to him.

How are you going to forget a girl you’d been loving for the past six years and fall for another girl just because of a few sweet kisses?

He wanted to ignore the growing pang of guilt running through his vessels, but it was hard to do so when Seyoon was looking up at him from under those long eyelashes with that hopeful gaze.

She was like a little kid. She could barely hide her emotion it showed blatantly in her face.

Usually, it was endearing. But now it only intensified his guilt for having used her as a distraction. It was as if he had just hurt an already vulnerable little girl without her knowing it.

Taking a deep breath, he said to her unblinking eyes.

“I don’t kiss just any girl, Seyoon-ah.” He told her instead, his face giving nothing away. Not exactly answering her question, but at least he wasn’t lying or sugar-coating anything.

That answer seemed to have warmed Seyoon a little though, because her pretty lips pulled into a shy smile and her face turned an adorable shade of pink once again.

The next morning, Kyuhyun woke up and found himslef laying on a couch at the corner of her vast bedroom. The night before, Seyoon had pleaded him to stay, and he didn’t think anyone could say no to her large, pleading eyes. So he stayed.

He let himself relax for the first time after all the drama yesterday. He was neatly tucked under a fluffy white comforter – which was probably her doing after she woke up and found him curled on her couch – and when he inhaled, the air smelled like... Seyoon and fresh lilies. It smelled sweet and relaxing. He let a small smile slip onto his lips before he rose from the wide couch, stretching and rubbing his face.

He peered over to her bed and found that it was vacant and already made. Seyoon was already up. What time was it?

He checked at his phone, but 12 missedcall notifications stole his attention. All from Jinhee. No text messages or voice mails; just a bunch of missed calls.

Great. Being Son Jinhee’s best friend for almost two decades, he had learned that it was one of the signs when Jinhee was mightily angry at someone. Jinhee would never unleash her anger into a text message, or a voice mail, because then she wouldn’t have the satisfaction of lively hearing the other person she was mad at squirm under her fury. Now, he was going to be the one going through it.

Sighing, he tapped the button to call her back and gave a few inches distance from his ear to the phone.

No, it wasn’t because of the signal radiation. It was just wise to put some distance from your ear to Jinhee’s angry-screeching voice.

The first ring hadn’t even finished when she answered the call.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” even with those few inches distance, he was still cringing.

He glanced at his phone to make sure that he hadn’t accidentally pressed the loudspeaker button. No, he hadn’t. Jinhee had just literally screamed her head off from the other side of the line.

He massaged his temple. “Yeah, good morning to you, too.”

Jinhee seethed venomously. “Don’t be such a smart- now. Where were you last night when I called you a thousand times?”

“Inside the apart-”

“Now is not the right time to lie to me, Cho Kyuhyun.” She warned.

Kyuhyun sighed for the second time that morning. “I wasn’t lying to you.” he grumbled under his breath, “I didn’t say whose apartment I was inside of anyway.”

“So whose apartment are you in?”

He pulled the subject off their conversation quickly. “Listen, why were you calling me?”

“What did you say to Nayoung last night?” she asked, her voice taking a surprising turn to an exasperated tone. “She called me sounding like she was in the middle of a breakdown, asking me if you were okay and if I knew where you were.”

Kyuhyun stood up slowly from where he was sitting, causing the blanket to fall to his feet. He could imagine how worried he had made Nana last night. It felt like something was pulling at his heart.

God, Kang Nayoung...

“What did you tell her?” he asked his friend as he started to pace, his voice so soft Jinhee had to strain her ear to hear him.

“I told her you were hungover...” Jinhee trailed off, hesitant. She groaned softly. “You were hungover, weren’t you? I know you wouldn’t let her drop a single tear if you weren’t.” Her accusing yet frustrated tone didn’t slip from his notice. “God, Kyuhyun I told you not to get drunk. I had to let her know that it wasn’t you... saying... whatever you were saying to her. She had to know that you were under a stress and slightly clouded with alcohol... That you weren’t intentionally trying to...”

“Hurt her.” He finished the words for her, closing his eyes. “It’s okay. I understand.”

“Are you okay though, Kyuhyun-ah?”

Her question caught him completely. Was he okay?

He remembered everything from yesterday. From when he picked Nana up for his fake-date to when he kissed Seyoon just to mend his broken heart and saw her smiling up at him as he tucked her to her bed.

No, he couldn’t say he was okay. But the feeling of that one certain girl near him was, somehow, enough to make it bearable.

He mused, were distractions supposed to affect you this much?

“I’m coping with it,” he said finally, and without a second thought asked, “How was she?”

Jinhee made a dissatisfied noise at his curt answer, but she told him anyway. “She was a mess. She sounded so fearful and... guilty. I don’t know, Kyuhyun. You’re worrying me. Both of you. What happened yesterday?”

His throat tightened as realization – and conscience – took him over. What happened yesterday? Yesterday he forced himself on the girl he loved, who didn’t love him back. Yesterday he used a sweet, innocent girl for his own selfishness.

What happened yesterday?

“I was an .” He told her quietly, refusing to elaborate further. Saying it out made it feel more real to him. He rubbed a hand through his hair tiredly. “Did she... you know, did she sleep okay?”

While he slept here knowing Seyoon had fallen into a peaceful slumber, he had to make sure that Nana slept just fine last night.

It took a few seconds for Jinhee to answer him. “I, erm, I wasn’t there with her.” She told him, sighing. “I was on my way to the Jeju when she called, you know.”

“Oh...”

“Yeah. So... you know. I wasn’t there with her.” Jinhee repeated lamely. He knew what she was trying to say.

“That Hyukjae guy came to rescue?” he smiled bitterly, his heart breaking all over again.

“Yeah...”

He stared hard at the floor for a moment, wondering why people would risk falling in love when they knew there were so many chances of them going through severe heartbreaks like this.

If he had known he’d go through this, he wouldn’t have let himself fall so deep for Nana. He wouldn’t have let himself fall so deep for anyone.

It was silent before the door was opened very gently from the outside. Kyuhyun looked up at the door as Seyoon poked her head into the room, looking around before spotting him near her bedroom’s window. He was standing by the window, his back facing the sunlight.

Fascination took its appearance on her face as she stared at the magnificent sight. With the effect of sunlight behind him, he looked like a white knight with shining armor. Like a prince charming in every girl’s dreams.

He witnessed the moments as her eyes immediately sparkled and her face broke into a soft smile, bringing the beginning of one of his own to appear at his lips. For a moment, they locked each other’s gazes silently.

Seyoon was starting to flush under his gaze, about to look away and tell him the breakfast was ready, until something stopped her and slipped the smile on her face into a frown.

She caught a strange glint in his eyes. A glint that made his smile look fake and forced. A glint that made his eyes seem so dim and empty. A glint that, after she observed more carefully, she quickly recognized as sadness. The realization startled her. Anyone would have missed it if they weren't locking gazes for so long with him.

She stood there at the door, staring at his form, wide-eyed, the apprehension clear on her face.

Kyuhyun stared back at her steadily, shook his head and waved Seyoon over to where he was standing, the slight lift of his lips was still there.

Seyoon didn’t know what had happened or what he'd just heard, but it was like something was going terribly wrong in his world, and he couldn’t do anything about it. Like it made him weak. It unsettled her. She walked over to him to stand in front of him. He stared almost blankly into her eyes, save for the tiny frown between his eyebrows. He held her gaze for a long moment.

“I’ll talk to you later,” he said softly to his phone, ignoring the vicious protest from the other end of the line and killed the call. Jinhee was going to be so mad at him the next time she talked to him, but he could hardly care about that now. He focused on the girl standing before him.

His frown smoothed over when he saw the worried look on Seyoon’s face, and robotically, he reached out and pulled her into his arms. He was suddenly so tired. He sighed, the feeling of her small body against his comforted him greatly.

Seyoon was stiff in his arms, unable to comprehend what was happening. The look on his face earlier was worrying her.

“Is there something-”

“I need this,” he spoke over her voice as he buried his face into her hair. His arms tightened around her as he let himself feel all the pain. Were heartbreaks supposed to be this hideous and... painful? It was ridiculous. “Please stay like this for a while. I need this.”

He needed his drug in his system. 

Eyebrows furrowing, she nodded her head anyway and slithered her arms around his waist hesitantly. She felt him hold her closer to him as if it was even possible, his arms so tight around her it almost made it hard for her to breathe. His every movement screamed his need of assurance, so she gave him that.

“I’m here,” she whispered over his shoulder gently, rubbing circles on the tense muscles on his back. “It’s okay. Everything’s going to be okay. I’ve got you.”

Maybe heartbreaks really were this hideous. Maybe heartbreaks were indeed this painful. But if this stuttering, beautiful bundle of sunshine was going to be there and numb it for him, maybe he could make it through.

He trusted her words anyway. She’s got him.

[A/N] Um, drama, anyone? Kekeke. Anyway. You guys don't know how happy I was for your comments on the previous chapter. I'm so happy to hear your excitement! Gosh. Thank you for reading and commenting and subscribing and upvoting and basically supporting this story! I'm happy that you love the characters. And yes, Kyuhyun is being a jerk. I'm sorry. But this story needs him to go through that phase. He will learn his lesson eventually anyway :)

Keep loving Kyu&Seyoon! They love you guys for enjoying their story ^^