but the moon fancies the sun who  killed her when morning comes

and ignore the star who loves her from a far

that is how you are, princess

There were ghosts inside her bedroom. One had hole on his head, another one had no head. The girl with burns on her skin never left her closet. Her sister though, slept beside her on bed. On some night, mostly on harvest season, they would weep till dawn. Tonight, they sang; this what she feared the most.

we are the children of yesterday, corpse of today

our blood is the rain, our skin is the ground, our bones scatter for glory

sing this song through the night, as if this an eternal fire

long live the king, to see the princess dies with our scythe

The lady beside her kissed her goodnight, her blood smeared on her cheek. There was more blood on her bed, right on the sheet under her, coming from the lady’s swollen belly.

wish the princess long sleep without a morning

don’t let her be alone, sing to her sleep

…

Su Ji was a princess, no one let her bleed. She didn’t get to see blood before she was nine. That day, though, she saw much blood; blood worth three person coming from one family. Su Ji stepped on them, the blood reached her ankles. The color was dark red, after looking at it for some times, it turned black. It was thick and it glued all over her body. The smell of it was rusty and sickening. Both the feeling and the smell of it never left her since then.

“Bad dream, princess?” the maid behind her asked while brushing her arm. There, one of them ghost dug her nails last night. If the scar was visible, it would have tainted the water with rotten blood.

“It was a nice sleep.” Su Ji gave the maid another arm; she could not stand the pain on her bone.

The maid cupped her face, her finger traced the part below her eyes scarcely. “You have this dark circle again. And look at your eyes, did you cry?”

Su Ji chuckled, “I didn’t cry.” She didn’t dare cry; the ghosts loathed it when she did.

The maid eyed her, wiping the circle around her eyes with water. “I’ll prepare your crimson tea.” Su Ji nodded.

Bathing was only safe in the morning, when the sun set, those who died from drowning would rose from under the water. What they liked the most was to strangle her to the rock bottom.

“Don’t spend too much time in the water. Your teacher will be coming shortly.”

Su Ji looked to the maid direction, “They found one already? Who has the guts?”

“They said he is the top scholar in literature. He placed first in his year. His words are wise and he is allegiant.” The maid smile was fonder. No matter what kind of person he was, Su Ji believed he wouldn’t stay long. “He’s from the Byun family. Byun Baekhyun.”

…

The young man kneeled and bent his body to the floor; saying his greeting. He was half way rose up, “Who are you to raise your head to me?”

The scholar put his face back to face the floor. “Forgive my rudeness.”

“You are green and ill-mannered. You look at yourself too highly by coming here and lifting your face to me. Dismiss yourself before I ask for you head.” Su Ji waited for his backward steps, but he didn’t flinch.

“I am now responsible for you. Without reducing my respect, you can’t ask me to leave, princess.”

Su Ji looked down to her supposed to be teacher, curled up, his forehead on the floor, two hands on the side, knee folded. “Then you can stay like that, until you leave by yourself.”

Baekhyun didn’t flinch.

…

The moon was dead just like the night. The little girl on her closet began to knock inside while crying, “I’m here. I’m here. Open the door, there is a fire. It burns my hair.” Suzy would always be reminded every time she heard the little girl’s plead, on one of her early day, she once took a bin, ran towards the well filling it with water. She threw a total ten worth of bin water to a fine closet, and the girl’s cries grew louder for each throw.

“Help! Help! Someone add the fire.”

In the end, Suzy knew the only way to stop it was to enter the closet and slept in it till the morning came. The little girl hugged her tight, her touch burned on her skin and the whole night smell of ashes.

The scholar was still there, moving nothing but his eyelids. Su Ji had almost completely forgotten about him if it was not for the sound of his breath. It could barely heard, but that kind of foreign thing was easy to recognize among all dead things in the room.

we are the children of yesterday, corpse of today

our blood is the rain, our skin is the ground, our bones scatter for glory

The man on the corner of the room began to chime, there was a slit mark on his neck, right on his throat. “Go away.” Su Ji warned the scholar.

“You can’t ask me to leave and you’ve allowed me to stay like this.”

sing this song through the night, as if this an eternal fire

There were two kids playing, they sung the continuation passed by the man who couldn’t voice anymore. One of them ran and hid behind her back, the other one closed his eyes and counted, his legs ended on his knees.

“I’ll warn you once again, go away.” Her voice was chocked whimper. The scholar was too ignorant to care. The kid who hid behind her back dig his nails on her waist,

“Please hide me. Please hide me. They are coming for me. You need to hide me.” His gripped tighten, as if he wanted to reach for her bone with his finger. The other kid stopped counting and opened his eyes. He looked at Su Ji.

“Where’s my brother? Tell me, where’s my brother! Don’t cut his knee, he promised to play hide and seek with me.” He was shouting, pointing his finger towards her. He dragged his body and half feet to reach her. He couldn’t move an inch.

long live the king, to see the princess dies with our scythe

wish the princess long sleep without a morning

don’t let her be alone, sing to her sleep

the whole room was singing along, cries and laugh came from the ceiling. Under her feet was blood, a few inchs from the scholar’s face. “Please. Please.  Please just go away for today.”

our princess perishes with us

…

Baekhyun walked home limping and arrived late. His guarding woke up by the sound he made from falling onto the floor. His legs were numb, his thighs were stiff and the blood stuck on his head. “How’s your first day of teaching?” said the half-awake man.

“They should’ve chosen scholar from the military instead of literature.” His lips were pale and chapped.

“They know you could be killed in her hands. This is a clean way to get rid of the first rank scholar then get their way up.”

Baekhyun turned his body, his back on the cold floor. He closed his eyes and pictured a bunch of bloodsucker around him. With his status, he knew it was almost impossible for him to enter the government. And his first rank title would only bring him death or prison.

“But on the bright side, the princess is moonlike, right? No. No. She degrades the moon.”

Baekhyun shot his eyes open. “The princess is moonlike.” Gruesome and eerie.

…

Baekhyun came back the next morning; waiting the princess to accept his greeting. She didn’t accept it that day, so he came back the next morning. And the next morning after.

…

That night, the moon was a full moon. Its light reached the floor of her room, going through the ghosts. “They are going to find us! The moon betrays us.” A man shouted for the whole room to hear. The ghosts were running to every direction. There were sound of thousands footsteps and wails.

“We can no longer hide at night! We need to kill the moon! Kill the moon! Kill the moon!” A ghost stopped and grabbed for her wrist, it stood in front of her, her eyes inches from hers. “Kill the moon! Kill the moon!”

Another one stopped and shouted beside her ear. Their voices rang inside her head along with her heartbeat and their footsteps. The one beside her vomited blood to her hair. Her sweat trailed with the blood drip.

“I can kill you.” Su Ji said to Baekhyun on his sixth night kneeling. She imagined a dagger go through his back.

“I can save you.”

…

“Kill the moon for me and I’ll believe you.”

…

Baekhyun fell to the ground on his eighth night. The moon was once again circle and bright. He leaned his body to the stacked rock forming a border between the castle and the city. The ground was supposed to be cold but he could feel it with his body. He decided to sleep there tonight, unable to walk any longer.

A figure fell beside him and woke him up. Dust splattered from her landing. A maiden; hair loose on her back and arms, pale face except for under her eyes. Her eyes shrunk when she noticed his presence and so did his. The next moment, her hand had strangled his neck against the brick.

“What are you doing here?” Su Ji shot him, at the moment though she was the one in fear.

“I could be asking the same thing.” His voice crooked along with every pressure she had on his neck.

“I told you, I can kill you.” He skipped some breath, his throat pressed by his own limbs

“I never.., see you.., as anything but a massacre.” His eyes were hollowed, they were shot at her. Her nails dug his neck deeper. His body was limp but he didn’t struggle. He stopped breathing with his nose. His open mouth was just an impulsive motion made by his body.

His eyes were dark and it turned darker by the second. He was just three years older than her; she knew. His lungs shrunk along with his neck. She knew how long it took for him to die. She stopped before they reached the time.

He chocked on his breath when her hands released his neck. Baekhyun’s vomit was empty and the voice he made was hoarse. At some point, he reminded Su Ji of animals which died right in front of her eyes; their voice which rang on her ears and their eyes which looked for her just to plant the guilt.

“You are not going to tell anyone that you see me crossing the brick tonight. You can tell everyone though that you are seconds away from death by my hands.”

“As an exchange.., you’ll study.., with me.., starting,” Baekhyun’s voice was nothing but dead whimper. “tomorrow.”

Su Ji stared at the limp body in front of her, the dying being. “If you survive this night, that is.”

Su Ji rose up and left him. Her steps were ghostly against the empty streets. She wandered for the city for the nth time with no one to know.

…

The scholar didn’t show up the next morning.

…

The King brought Su Ji to the city when she was nine, the same day where she saw blood for the first time. When she came back from the travel that day, Su Ji realized that everything in the Palace was nothing but ugly.

There was one group of insurgents who planned for rebellion at one of the province when she was twelve. In the same province, ten years ago, the King once massacred the people to show his power.

“This is what it means to have the future on your hand, Su Ji.” The King told her inside the carriage on their way there. “When I did the massacre ten years ago, I never meant it as a way to show my power only once. Instead, this is what I’ve been planning. The one who survived once will seek for revenge and when they think they are strong enough to bring us down, we just need to do another massacre and show them they could nothing to us.”

Everything happened the way his father wanted. Man, woman, children, they died in front of her eyes and later stayed inside her room. Some were purposely missed, only to be killed years from now on along with their children. It was just another years longer before they met again in her room.

Su Ji met one of the survivor; the later ghost. His eyes were fierce and cold, looking at her. He looked at the blood on her hands; the blood of the woman beneath her hands. Su Ji ignored the man, pressed her hands harder on the place where the blood were running down. Her blood was all over her body.

Footsteps of soldier approaching. “She died already, stop it.” His hands reached for hers. She tossed it away and instead aiming for his neck. Su Ji pushed the boy to the wall, still strangling his neck with her bloody hands. The footsteps were coming closer.

“No need to interfere. Better run for your life.”  Su Ji tossed him to side, again back on the woman.

“I told you, she died already!” He half shouted. His voice through covered by the sound of fire around.

“What do you know?!” Su Ji shot back.

 There was a voice of a man next to them, the guard may had their way on him. “She’s my mother. I know, that’s not how she looks when she’s alive.”

…

The guard walked pass them while they hid behind the stacks.

“I know you are the princess. Why hide with me?”

“Why you let me hide with you? I have your mother’s blood on my hand.”

The older boy looked down, at her hands, pressed against his chest, the blood smeared on his shirt. “I see what you did.”

“That could be the reason for me to kill you, then.”

“Or the other way around.”

“What make you so sure?”

“You too, are insurgent. Just like me.”

The song of the victory was played and sung by the soldier. Su Ji knew the King was at some point, sang along the line. “I’m L.”

…

The scholar, Baekhyun, came the next day. His eyes didn’t waver even though his legs did. He was on the other side of the table, between him and Su Ji was opened books. “There’s no point of teaching me.” Su Ji mumbled between his reading.  He didn’t stop reading it for her.

“I have lesson with the scholar from military to learn the act of assassination. I don’t need some literature study. That’s not what this country use.”

The scholar stopped his reading and turned Su Ji’s book to the page where it should opened. “Where were you going that night?”

Su Ji’s eyes shot open, her heartbeat raced thinking wall must have ears. “Don’t you have any fear? What do you want?”

He didn’t answer then proceeded to read the continuation from the book. Su Ji half rose and leaned closer to his side, pressing the book on the table for her weight. She whispered then to his ear, “Do you want me? Will you rip your mouth after I let you taste me for a second?”

Baekhyun was all silent so Su Ji ended it with a kiss on his cheek. His skin was cold and so did her lips. “You are greedy.”

…

The next day, the scholar brought princess a book of poetry. This time, Su Ji complied; she recited a poem to Baekhyun with her book closed.

…

“So you study by yourself all this time?” Baekhyun was reading his book, Su Ji did the same with her own, between them two cup of tea. She hummed yes. “Why you keep rejecting everyone then if you want to study?”

Su Ji stretched her back, then moved to Baekhyun side to lean on. “It’s bothersome.”

“Why you let me?” Baekhyun was still reading, he reached the last word for the page.

“It’s even more bothersome to shove you out.”  Su Ji stared blankly at the wall in front of her. “I know they pick you so they could keep you out from the governance. Is that why you fearless? Because you think it’s your end already?”

Baekhyun kept reading the last sentence of the page all over again, the meaning of it failed to sink in him. “You think I’m fearless, princess? I am in fear for all time.”

…

After months, Baekhyun realized the princess sneaked out of the Palace every time the moon shone the brightest; the same night King out to hunt for his own people. This time, Su Ji did the same. Baekhyun had her followed just to find her going so she could cry in the arms of a man.

…

Su Ji left her room and the crying ghost inside today, just like she always did for the past years. Outside, at the place where the moonlight couldn’t reach, someone had waited for her with warm blanket. In times where they were together, both were just stay silent. He would pull her close on the same bed, letting her damping his shirt.

“I am so scared.” She would mumble as nightmare rushed in; as if there were something worse that had prevent them from coming nights where she slept in her own room. That same went for her tears. Her tears wouldn’t stop till morning came as if this was her only chance to cry.

She told him about everything, but never about the ghost. A feeling thicker than guilt haunted her the moment she wanted tell him that. And she knew, he could do nothing even if he knew. This was enough for her. At least, a day in every month, he gave her a safe haven.

She had to leave at dawn, she had to arrive back before the sun came out. Her steps were ghostly on the empty cold street. They were dragged and soft. He kissed her before she left to the place he could never reach, “One day, it will be okay.” He always said that and that was what he needed to say to make her survive another thirty eerie nights.

“Till next month, L.”

…

“Have you lost your mind?” Baekhyun shouted, this was the first time Su Ji heard him shout. He too was foreign of it, he chocked on his voice. “Don’t you know that he’s a rebel? Does he know you are the princess? He would’ve killed you already if he knew.”

“Lower your voice,” Su Ji hushed Baekhyun. “I can’t believe you dared to follow me. You really want to die?!”

“I’m asking the same question to you!”

“We both know who ourselves are and we don’t kill each other.” This time, Su Ji said it softly, her eyes were on his.

He replied the same way, after taken aback, “Not yet.” Her silence was her own confirmation. “What are the two of you trying to do?”

“Scholar, they know everything about day and night, ground and sky, but they are oblivious to love.”

“This could be the end of you.”

“The one who brings me end is my savior.”

…

Tonight, the soldier lined up outside her bedroom, their footsteps going back and forth. Their voices were one, shouting,

All glory for the King. All glory for the King

All bones, blood and skin for the King

All woman, man and children for the King

All life, corpse and spirit for the King

The sound of scythe and the sound of it when pierced through body were along their shouts. Inside, the rest replied with their song:

we are the children of yesterday, corpse of today

our blood is the rain, our skin is the ground, our bones scatter for glory

sing this song through the night, as if this an eternal fire

long live the king, to see the princess dies with our scythe

One ghost climbed up to bed, sat beside her on the corner and glued her lips on her ear. She meant it as a whisper, but what came out was a shout on Su Ji’s ear. “The scholar has secret.”

All the ghost in room was smirking when they heard it. Their smile grew huge, their mouth ripped and their lips reached their end of their cheek. “The scholar has secret.”

wish the princess long sleep without a morning

don’t let her be alone, sing to her sleep

Su Ji decided to put an end of this.

…

This time when Su Ji said her farewell, after L kissed her, she didn’t say about coming back.

…

Su Ji was running down the hallways. The air was cold, it reached every corner of her skin. Su Ji was running as if all the last night ghost soldier was reaching out for her. She stopped then, in the library, at the front of table. Baekhyun was sitting on the chair in front of the table, reading a book. His eyes question her and beads of sweat on her forehead, before he realized tears were on the corner of her eyes.

“What happens?”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She broke down on her knee and kneeled. Her hands were reaching for his shoes and she dug her forehead on it. He rose up from his seat, trying to release her from him.  She didn’t stop her plead.

“Come back to your sense.” He shoved. His hands were reaching for her shoulder, bringing her face to meet his. Never in his life he thought the cold princess could tremble as hard as the moment. Tears were flow of a river. Her body shook with his hands.

She chocked on her own breath all over again before she managed to say, “I’m sorry for killing your parents.”

…

Su Ji saw blood for the first time when she was nine. The blood was much coming from three member of a family; the father, the mother and the sister. One member, the brother, was let to survive. The family was Byun, and the brother was Baekhyun.

…

Su Ji leaned weakly in Baekhyun’s embrace. Her breath was short and chocked. He murmured it’s okay to her again and again even until she had stopped saying anything.

“It’s okay.” Baekhyun whispered. His throat was dry and his eyes were painful and hot.

“I could..,” Su Ji mumbled weakly on his shoulder. “I could choose the house beside yours when father asked me which household he should kill. But instead, I chose yours. I was the one who made him massacre your entire family.”

Baekhyun chocked. This time, tears were rolling down and it didn’t make his eyes any better. Tears were coming down as if it was blood of a wound; each drop was heavy and hot trailing down. The beat of his heart was destructive explosion. He hugged her closer, this time for himself.

“It’s okay.”

…

Su Ji gave the key of the prisons and the map of the Palace down to its every secret way. Su Ji was after all what L said to her on their first time meeting; an insurgent.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” L was crying, his head was on Su Ji’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry I make you do this.” Su Ji patted his head back and forth.

He looked up, “I’m sorry I can’t save you.”

This time Su Ji smiled, “This is the only way to save me.”

…

Su Ji begged Baekhyun to stay for the night, her hand clutched on his like he was the edge of a cliff. “I’m tired, Baek.” She said. The ghosts were looking at her in anger, blood were flowing their eyes. “Don’t you want to kill me?”

“I did.” Baekhyun confessed. “Every time I heard your name I was thinking you died on my hand. When I saw you, I saw blood all over your body.”

“Why you stopped then?”

Baekhyun took a breath in. “You are moonlike.” He continued then, “Beautiful and delicate.”

“That’s how easy you are, scholar?” Su Ji sneered and laughed.

“I heard you begging for forgiveness, every night till morning come.” Su Ji jolted when she heard it. “Then, every time the King hunts, I see what you do. You are looking for survivor and try to heal them.”

Su Ji laughed, the ghost eyed her deeper some of their eyeball fell out to her side. “Isn’t what I do pathetic? I come as an reaper, witnessing the scythe goes through their limbs, then at dawn looking for a survivor only to realize it’s no use?”

“You manage to find some.”

“I only give them another round of being killed.” A tear rolled down from Su Ji’s eyes. The ghost screamed when they saw it. Their screamed pierced her. She tightened her hand on his.“I am putting an end to this.”

“How can I save you?” Baekhyun voice was soft and calm; he was everything she wanted to hear between the ghost screams and fury.

“Why are you so obsessed on finding way to save me, scholar?” She laughed it off, another tears rolled down from her eyes. The kid inside the closet was screaming, saying every drop of her tear was another set of hellfire for her.

“Not every scholar oblivious to love.” Baekhyun answered.

“What kind of scholar dares to love a princess?”

“Moreover one who has already in love.” He added.

Su Ji cried, not caring the ghosts who were in rage. They bleed and screamed. They scratched her body with their fingers. “Forgive me.”

“You said that too much already.” He calmly said.

“Tonight will be the last though,” Su Ji eyes were fixed on the ghost with swollen belly, her eyes were looking at Su Ji in rage, her hands scratched her belly till it ripped. “I am putting an end to this.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“You want to save me right, scholar?” Su Ji gazed on Baekhyun. “I told you the only way to save me is to kill the moon.”

The ghost, with their eyes shot open smirked when they heard it, “Kill the moon.” One ghost whisper. “Kill the moon.” Another one echoed. “Kill the moon.” Soon were whispered by every ghost in the room.

“We can hide if we kill the moon. We’ll be safe.” The man stood up. The whispered began again, “Kill the moon. Kill the moon. Kill the moon.”

 “If no one can kill the moon,” Su Ji trailed. “Then the moon needs to kill itself.” The ghost grinned and rose up, they ran all over the room in eerie glee.

We are the children of yesterday, corpse of today

our blood is the rain, our skin is the ground, our bones scatter for glory

sing this song through the night, as if this an eternal fire

long live the king, to see the princess dies with our scythe

“You can’t do that.” Baekhyun clutched her shoulder, his hands felt numb. “You ask me once, do I want you? I’ll have you now.”

Su Ji hissed, “Aren’t you impudent, scholar?” She swept the side of his face, “You promise me you’ll save me.”

“Kill the moon. Kill the moon. Kill the moon.”

…

All the prisoners were out. The Palace and the prison were on fire. Corpse of scholars and ministers filled the ground. The aristocrats were on top of the spears. What left were the King, Queen, The Princes, and The Princesses. They were lined inside the Palace, surrounded by the fire. The King was at the beginning of the line; Su Ji was at the end.

Each one got their own bowl of poison. One person at one time, so the rest could watch how they died. The King was the first; Su Ji would be the last.

L handed the bowl to Su Ji. His hands were shaking and he was on the edge of crying. Her eyes told him not to. The crowd was in glee, they raised their hand and shouted their victory.

“Run with me.” Baekhyun had begged her at dawn. “Take this as a way to compensate me. You.. You kill my family, now, take responsible of me. Run with me.”

“You did so much already.” He added. “With this, they’ll live. There’s no more reason for you to also die there.”

Su Ji shook her head. “What I have done is for my country. This is for my family.” She gave a weak smile. “I.., I bring death to all member of family. My father, mother, sister, brother. I can’t leave them alone. I am.. I am still their family. They are my family.”

Su Ji took the bowl from L’s hand. Softly she whispered for the last time, “Forgive me.” The crowd with scythe and torch began singing,

we are the children of yesterday, corpse of today

our blood is the rain, our skin is the ground, our bones scatter for glory

sing this song through the night, as if this an eternal fire

long live the king, to see the princess dies with our scythe

Su Ji gulped the poison, letting it running down though . Her heart and throat burned with every drip of it. In exchange, blood was dripping out from . The crowd kept singing,

wish the princess long sleep without a morning

don’t let her be alone, sing to her sleep

“Forgive us.” Su Ji chocked to the world along with waves of blood.

Our princess perishes with us

The song was in repeat.

We are the children of yesterday, corpse of today

our blood is the rain, our skin is the ground, our bones scatter for glory

sing this song through the night, as if this an eternal fire

long live the king, to see the princess dies with our scythe

wish the princess long sleep without a morning

don’t let her be alone, sing to her sleep

our princess perishes with us

and repeat.

This is a little bit rushed, sorry. But thank you for reading and I hope to hear more from you.

Write to me under, if you are consent.